when god laughs and other stories(当上帝发笑时)-第3节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
artists。 But they had accomplished the impossible。 They had achieved
deathless desire。
〃And I？ I saw much of them and their everlasting miracle of Love。
I puzzled and wondered； and then one day〃
Carquinez broke off abruptly and asked； 〃Have you ever read； 'Love's
Waiting Time'？〃
I shook my head。
〃Page wrote itCurtis Hidden Page； I think。 Well； it was that bit of
verse that gave me the clue。 One day； in the window…seat near the big
pianoyou remember how she could play？ She used to laugh； sometimes；
and doubt whether it was for them I came； or for the music。 She called
me a 'music…sot' once； a 'sound…debauchee。' What a voice he had！
When he sang I believed in immortality； my regard for the gods grew
almost patronizing and I devised ways and means whereby I surely could
9
… Page 10…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS； AND OTHER STORIES
outwit them and their tricks。
〃It was a spectacle for God； that man and woman； years married； and
singing love…songs with a freshness virginal as new…born Love himself；
with a ripeness and wealth of ardour that young lovers can never know。
Young lovers were pale and anaemic beside that long…married pair。 To
see them； all fire and flame and tenderness； at a trembling distance；
lavishing caresses of eye and voice with every action； through every
silencetheir love driving them toward each other； and they withholding
like fluttering moths； each to the other a candle…flame； and revolving each
about the other in the mad gyrations of an amazing orbit…flight！ It
seemed； in obedience to some great law of physics； more potent than
gravitation and more subtle； that they must corporeally melt each into each
there before my very eyes。 Small wonder they were called the wonderful
lovers。
〃I have wandered。 Now to the clue。 One day in the window…seat I
found a book of verse。 It opened of itself； betraying long habit； to 'Love's
Waiting Time。' The page was thumbed and limp with overhandling； and
there I read：
〃'So sweet it is to stand but just apart； To know each other better；
and to keep The soft； delicious sense of two that touch 。 。 。
O love； not yet！ 。 。 。 Sweet； let us keep our love Wrapped round
with sacred mystery awhile； Waiting the secret of the coming years；
That come not yet； not yet 。 。 。 sometime 。 。 。 not yet 。 。 。
Oh； yet a little while our love may grow！ When it has blossomed
it will haply die。 Feed it with lipless kisses； let it sleep； Bedded in
dead denial yet some while 。 。 。 Oh； yet a little while； a little while。'
〃I folded the book on my thumb and sat there silent and without
moving for a long time。 I was stunned by the clearness of vision the
verse had imparted to me。 It was illumination。 It was like a bolt of
God's lightning in the Pit。 They would keep Love； the fickle sprite； the
forerunner of young lifeyoung life that is imperative to be born！
〃I conned the lines over in my mind'Not yet； sometime''O Love； not
yet''Feed it with lipless kisses； let it sleep。' And I laughed aloud； ha； ha！
I saw with white vision their blameless souls。 They were children。
10
… Page 11…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS； AND OTHER STORIES
They did not understand。 They played with Nature's fire and bedded
with a naked sword。 They laughed at the gods。 They would stop the
cosmic sap。 They had invented a system； and brought it to the gaming…
table of life； and expected to win out。 'Beware！' I cried。 'The gods are
behind the table。 They make new rules for every system that is devised。
You have no chance to win。'
〃But I did not so cry to them。 I waited。 They would learn that their
system was worthless and throw it away。 They would be content with
whatever happiness the gods gave them and not strive to wrest more away。
〃I watched。 I said nothing。 The months continued to come and go；
and still the famine…edge of their love grew the sharper。 Never did they
dull it with a permitted love…clasp。 They ground and whetted it on self…
denial； and sharper and sharper it grew。 This went on until even I
doubted。 Did the gods sleep？ I wondered。 Or were they dead？ I
laughed to myself。 The man and the woman had made a miracle。 They
had outwitted God。 They had shamed the flesh； and blackened the face
of the good Earth Mother。 They had played with her fire and not been
burned。 They were immune。 They were themselves gods； knowing
good from evil and tasting not。 'Was this the way gods came to be？' I
asked myself。 'I am a frog；' I said。 'But for my mud… lidded eyes I
should have been blinded by the brightness of this wonder I have
witnessed。 I have puffed myself up with my wisdom and passed
judgment upon gods。'
〃Yet even in this； my latest wisdom； I was wrong。 They were not
gods。 They were man and womansoft clay that sighed and thrilled； shot
through with desire； thumbed with strange weaknesses which the gods
have not。〃
Carquinez broke from his narrative to roll another cigarette and to
laugh harshly。 It was not a pretty laugh； it was like the mockery of a
devil； and it rose over and rode the roar of the storm that came muffled to
our ears from the crashing outside world。
〃I am a frog；〃 he said apologetically。 〃How were they to understand？
They were artists； not biologists。 They knew the clay of the studio； but
they did not know the clay of which they themselves were made。 But
11
… Page 12…
WHEN GOD LAUGHS； AND OTHER STORIES
this I will saythey played high。 Never was there such a game before；
and I doubt me if there will ever be such a game again。
〃Never was lovers' ecstasy like theirs。 They had not killed Love with
kisses。 They had quickened him with denial。 And by denial they drove
him on till he was all aburst with desire。 And the flame…winged lute…
player fanned them with his warm wings till they were all but swooning。
It was the very delirium of Love； and it continued undiminished and
increasing through the weeks and months。
〃They longed and yearned； with all the fond pangs and sweet delicious
agonies； with an intensity never felt by lovers before nor since。
〃And then one day the drowsy gods ceased nodding。 They aroused
and looked at the man and woman who had made a mock of them。 And
the man and woman looked into each other's eyes one morning and knew
that something was gone。 It was the flame…winged one。 He had fled；
silently； in the night； from their anchorites' board。
〃They looked into each other's eyes and knew that they did not care。
Desire was dead。 Do you understand？ Desire was dead。 And they had
never kissed。 Not once had they kissed。 Love was gone。 They would
never yearn and burn again。 For them there was nothing leftno more
tremblings and flutterings and delicious anguishes； no more throbbing and
pulsing； and sighing and song。 Desire was dead。 It had died in the
night； on a couch cold and unattended； nor had they witnessed its passing。
They learned it for the first time in each other's eyes。
〃The gods may not be kind； but they are often merciful。 They had
twirled the little ivory ball and swept the stakes from the table。 All that
remained was the man and woman gazing into each other's cold eyes。
And then he died。 That was the mercy。 Within the week Marvin Fiske
was dead you remember the accident。
