when god laughs and other stories(当上帝发笑时)-第16节
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coffee。
〃Ain't no next life；〃 Matt answered； pausing from the steak to take his
first sip of coffee。 〃Nor heaven nor hell； nor nothin'。 You get all that's
comin' right here in this life。〃
〃An' afterward？〃 Jim queried out of his morbid curiosity； for he knew
that he looked upon a man that was soon to die。 〃An' afterward？〃 he
repeated。
〃Did you ever see a man two weeks dead？〃 the other asked。
Jim shook his head。
〃Well； I have。 He was like this beefsteak you an' me is eatin'。 It
was once steer cavortin' over the landscape。 But now it's just meat。
That's all； just meat。 An' that's what you an' me an' all people come to
meat。〃
Matt gulped down the whole cup of coffee； and refilled the cup。
〃Are you scared to die？〃 he asked。
Jim shook his head。 〃What's the use？ I don't die anyway。 I pass
on an' live again〃
〃To go stealin'； an' lyin' an' snivellin' through another life； an' go on
that way forever an' ever an' ever？〃 Matt sneered。
〃Maybe I'll improve；〃 Jim suggested hopefully。 〃Maybe stealin'
won't be necessary in the life to come。〃
He ceased abruptly； and stared straight before him； a frightened
expression on his face。
〃What's the matter！〃 Matt demanded。
〃Nothin'。 I was just wonderin'〃Jim returned to himself with an
effort 〃about this dyin'； that was all。〃
But he could not shake off the fright that had startled him。 It was as
if an unseen thing of gloom had passed him by； casting upon him the
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intangible shadow of its presence。 He was aware of a feeling of
foreboding。 Something ominous was about to happen。 Calamity hovered
in the air。 He gazed fixedly across the table at the other man。 He could
not understand。 Was it that he had blundered and poisoned himself？ No；
Matt had the nicked cup； and he had certainly put the poison in the nicked
cup。
It was all his own imagination； was his next thought。 It had played
him tricks before。 Fool！ Of course it was。 Of course something was
about to happen； but it was about to happen to Matt。 Had not Matt drunk
the whole cup of coffee？
Jim brightened up and finished his steak； sopping bread in the gravy
when the meat was gone。
〃When I was a kid〃 he began； but broke off abruptly。
Again the unseen thing of gloom had fluttered； and his being was
vibrant with premonition of impending misfortune。 He felt a disruptive
influence at work in the flesh of him； and in all his muscles there was a
seeming that they were about to begin to twitch。 He sat back suddenly；
and as suddenly leaned forward with his elbows on the table。 A tremor
ran dimly through the muscles of his body。 It was like the first rustling of
leaves before the oncoming of wind。 He clenched his teeth。 It came
again； a spasmodic tensing of his muscles。 He knew panic at the revolt
within his being。 His muscles no longer recognized his mastery over
them。 Again they spasmodically tensed； despite the will of him； for he
had willed that they should not tense。 This was revolution within himself；
this was anarchy； and the terror of impotence rushed up in him as his flesh
gripped and seemed to seize him in a clutch； chills running up and down
his back and sweat starting on his brow。 He glanced about the room； and
all the details of it smote him with a strange sense of familiarity。 It was
as though he had just returned from a long journey。 He looked across the
table at his partner。 Matt was watching him and smiling。 An expression
of horror spread over Jim's face。
〃My God； Matt！〃 he screamed。 〃You ain't doped me？〃
Matt smiled and continued to watch him。 In the paroxysm that
followed； Jim did not become unconscious。 His muscles tensed and
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twitched and knotted； hurting him and crushing him in their savage grip。
And in the midst of it all； it came to him that Matt was acting queerly。
He was travelling the same road。 The smile had gone from his face； and
there was on it an intent expression； as if he were listening to some inner
tale of himself and trying to divine the message。 Matt got up and walked
across the room and back again； then sat down。
〃You did this； Jim；〃 he said quietly。
〃But I didn't think you'd try to fix ME；〃 Jim answered reproachfully。
〃Oh； I fixed you all right；〃 Matt said； with teeth close together and
shivering body。 〃What did you give me？〃
〃Strychnine。〃
〃Same as I gave you；〃 Matt volunteered。 〃It's a hell of a mess； ain't
it？〃
〃You're lyin'； Matt；〃 Jim pleaded。 〃You ain't doped me； have you？〃
〃I sure did； Jim； an' I didn't overdose you； neither。 I cooked it in as
neat as you please in your half the porterhouse。Hold on！ Where're you
goin'？〃
Jim had made a dash for the door； and was throwing back the bolts。
Matt sprang in between and shoved him away。
〃Drug store；〃 Jim panted。 〃Drug store。〃
〃No you don't。 You'll stay right here。 There ain't goin' to be any
runnin' out an' makin' a poison play on the streetnot with all them jools
reposin' under the pillow。 Savve？ Even if you didn't die； you'd be in the
hands of the police with a whole lot of explanations comin'。 Emetics is
the stuff for poison。 I'm just as bad bit as you； an' I'm goin' to take a
emetic。 That's all they'd give you at a drug store； anyway。〃
He thrust Jim back into the middle of the room and shot the bolts into
place。 As he went across the floor to the food shelf； he passed one hand
over his brow and flung off the beaded sweat。 It spattered audibly on the
floor。 Jim watched agonizedly as Matt got the mustard…can and a cup and
ran for the sink。 He stirred a cupful of mustard and water and drank it
down。 Jim had followed him and was reaching with trembling hands for
the empty cup。 Again Matt shoved him away。 As he mixed a second
cupful； he demanded
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〃D'you think one cup'll do for me？ You can wait till I'm done。〃
Jim started to totter toward the door； but Matt checked him。
〃If you monkey with that door； I'll twist your neck。 Savve？ You can
take yours when I'm done。 An' if it saves you； I'll twist your neck；
anyway。 You ain't got no chance； nohow。 I told you many times what
you'd get if you did me dirt。〃
〃But you did me dirt； too；〃 Jim articulated with an effort。
Matt was drinking the second cupful； and did not answer。 The sweat
had got into Jim's eyes； and he could scarcely see his way to the table；
where he got a cup for himself。 But Matt was mixing a third cupful； and；
as before； thrust him away。
〃I told you to wait till I was done；〃 Matt growled。 〃Get outa my
way。〃
And Jim supported his twitching body by holding on to the sink； the
while he yearned toward the yellowish concoction that stood for life。 It
was by sheer will that he stood and clung to the sink。 His flesh strove to
double him up and bring him to the floor。 Matt drank the third cupful；
and with difficulty managed to get to a chair and sit down。 His first
paroxysm was passing。 The spasms that afflicted him were dying away。
This good effect he ascribed to the mustard and water。 He was safe； at
any rate。 He wiped the sweat from his face； and； in the interval of calm；
found room for curiosity。 He looked at his partner。
A spasm had shaken the mustard can out of Jim's hands； and the
contents were spilled upon the floor
