the daisy chain, or aspirations-第68节

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Margaret　made　her　perceive　that　the　doctor　was　smiling；　and　she
changed　her　tone；　and　earnestly　begged　to　be　told　what　they　thought
of　the　case；　for　if　she　should　show　her　concern　at　home；　her　father
and　governess　would　immediately　beg　her　to　cease　from　all　connection
with　the　school；　and　she　did　not　feel　at　all　convinced　that　Mrs。
Wilmot　liked　to　have　her　there。　　Feeling　injured　by　the　implied
accusation　of　mismanagement；　yet；　with　a　sense　of　its　truth；　used　to
be　petted；　and　new　to　rebuffs；　yet　with　a　sincere　wish　to　act
rightly；　she　was　much　perplexed　by　this；　her　first　reverse；　and　had
come　partly　with　the　view　of　consulting　Flora；　though　she　had　fallen
on　other　counsellors。

〃Margaret；　our　adviser　general；〃　said　the　doctor；　〃what　do　you　say？
Put　yourself　in　the　place　of　Mrs。　Charles　Wilmot；　and　say；　shall　Miss
Rivers　teach　or　not？〃

〃I　had　rather　you　would；　papa。〃

〃Not　II　never　kept　school。〃

〃Well；　then；　I　being　Mrs。　Wilmot；　should　certainly　be　mortified　if
Miss　Rivers　deserted　me　because　the　children　were　naughty。　　I　think；
I　think　I　had　rather　she　came　and　asked　me　what　she　had　better　do。〃

〃And　you　would　answer　'teach；'　for　fear　of　vexing　her；〃　said　Meta。

〃I　should；　and　also　for　the　sake　of　letting　her　learn　to　teach。〃

〃The　point　where　only　trial　shows　one's　ignorance；〃　said　Dr。　May。

〃But　I　don't　want　to　do　it　for　my　own　sake；〃　said　Meta。　　〃I　do
everything　for　my　own　sake　already。〃

〃For　theirs；　then；〃　said　the　doctor。　　〃If　teaching　will　not　come　by
nature；　you　must　serve　an　apprenticeship；　if　you　mean　to　be　of
service　in　that　line。　　Perhaps　it　was　the　gift　that　the　fairies
omitted。〃

〃But　will　it　do　any　good　to　them？〃

〃I　can't　tell；　but　I　am　sure　it　would　do　them　harm　for　you　to　give　it
up；　because　it　is　disagreeable。〃

〃Well；〃　said　Meta；　with　a　sigh；　〃I'll　go　and　talk　to　Mrs。　Wilmot。　　I
could　not　bear　to　give　up　anything　that　seems　right　just　now；　because
of　the　Confirmation。〃

Margaret　eagerly　inquired；　and　it　appeared　that　the　bishop　had　given
notice　for　a　Confirmation　in　August；　and　that　Mr。　Wilmot　was　already
beginning　to　prepare　his　candidates；　whilst　Mr。　Ramsden；　always
tardy；　never　gave　notice　till　the　last　moment　possible。　　The　hope　was
expressed　that　Harry　might　be　able　to　profit　by　this　opportunity；　and
Harry's　prospects　were　explained　to　Meta；　then　the　doctor；
recollecting　something　that　he　wished　to　say　to　Mr。　Rivers；　began　to
ask　about　the　chance　of　his　coming　before　the　time　of　an　engagement
of　his　own。

〃He　said　he　should　be　here　at　about　half…past　four；〃　said　Meta。　　〃He
is　gone　to　the　station　to　inquire　about　the　trains。　　Do　you　know　what
time　the　last　comes　in？〃

〃At　nine　forty…five；〃　said　the　doctor。

〃That　is　what　we　were　afraid　of。　It　is　for　Bellairs；　my　maid。　　Her
mother　is　very　ill；　and　she　is　afraid　she　is　not　properly　nursed。　　It
is　about　five　miles　from　the　Milbury　Station；　and　we　thought　of
letting　her　go　with　a　day…ticket　to　see　about　her。　　She　could　go　in
the　morning；　after　I　am　up；　but　I　don't　know　what　is　to　be　done；　for
she　could　not　get　back　before　I　dress　for　dinner。〃

Margaret　felt　perfectly　aghast　at　the　cool　tone；　especially　after
what　had　passed。

〃It　would　be　quite　impossible；〃　said　the　doctor。　　〃Even　going　by　the
eight　o'clock　train；　and　returning　by　the　last；　she　would　only　have
two　hours　to　spareshort　enough　measure　for　a　sick　mother。〃

〃Papa　means　to　give　her　whatever　she　wants　for　any　nurse　she　may
get。〃

〃Is　there　no　one　with　her　mother　now？〃

〃A　son's　wife；　who；　they　think；　is　not　kind。　　Poor　Bellairs　was　so
grateful　for　being　allowed　to　go　home。　　I　wonder　if　I　could　dress　for
once　without　her？〃

〃Do　you　know　old　Crabbe？〃　said　the　doctor。

〃The　dear　old　man　at　Abbotstoke？　　Oh；　yes；　of　course。〃

〃There　was　a　very　sad　case　in　his　family。　　The　mother　was　dying　of　a
lingering　illness；　when　the　son　met　with　a　bad　accident。　　The　only
daughter　was　a　lady's…maid；　and　could　not　be　spared；　though　the
brother　was　half　crazy　to　see　her；　and　there　was　no　one　to　tend　them
but　a　wretch　of　a　woman；　paid　by　the　parish。　　The　poor　fellow　kept
calling　for　his　sister　in　his　delirium；　and；　at　last；　I　could　not
help　writing　to　the　mistress。〃

〃Did　she　let　her　come？〃　said　Meta；　her　cheek　glowing。

〃As　a　great　favour；　she　let　her　set　out　by　the　mail　train；　after
dressing　her　for　a　ball；　with　orders　to　return　in　time　for　her
toilette　for　an　evening　party　the　next　day。〃

〃Oh；　I　remember；〃　said　Margaret；　〃her　coming　here　at　five　in　the
morning；　and　your　taking　her　home。〃

〃And　when　we　got　to　Abbotstoke　the　brother　was　dead。　　That　parish
nurse　had　not　attended　to　my　directions；　and；　I　do　believe；　was　the
cause　of　it。　　The　mother　had　had　a　seizure；　and　was　in　the　most
precarious　state。〃

〃Surely　she　stayed！〃

〃It　was　as　much　as　her　place　was　worth；〃　said　the　doctor；　〃and　her
wages　were　the　chief　maintenance　of　the　family。　　So　she　had　to　go
back　to　dress　her　mistress；　while　the　old　woman　lay　there；　wailing
after　Betsy。　　She　did　give　warning　then；　but；　before　the　month　was
out；　the　mother　was　dead。〃

Meta　did　not　speak；　and　Dr。　May　presently　rose；　saying　he　should　try
to　meet　Mr。　Rivers　in　the　town；　and　went　out。　　Meta　sat　thoughtful；
and　at　last；　sighing；　said；　〃I　wonder　whether　Bellairs's　mother　is　so
very　ill？　　I　have　a　great　mind　to　let　Susan　try　to　do　my　hair；　and
let　Bellairs　stay　a　little　longer。　　I　never　thought　of　that。〃

〃I　do　not　think　you　will　be　sorry；〃　said　Margaret。

〃Yes；　I　shall；　for　if　my　hair　does　not　look　nice；　papa　will　not　be
pleased；　and　there　is　Aunt　Leonora　coming。　　How　odd　it　will　be　to　be
without　Bellairs！　　I　will　ask　Mrs。　Larpent。〃

〃Oh；　yes！〃　said　Margaret。　　〃You　must　not　think　we　meant　to　advise；
but　papa　has　seen　so　many　instances　of　distress；　from　servants　not
spared　to　their　friends　in　illness；　that　he　feels　strongly　on　the
subject。〃

〃And　I　really　might　have　been　as　cruel　as　that　woman！〃　said　Meta。
〃Well；　I　hope　Mrs。　Bellairs　may　be　better；　and　able　to　spare　her
daughter。　　I　don't　know　what　will　become　of　me　without　her。〃

〃I　think　it　will　have　been　a　satisfaction　in　one　way；〃　said
Margaret。〃

〃In　what　way？〃

〃Don't　you　remember　what　you　began　by　complaining　of；　that　you　could
not　be　of　use？　　Now；　I　fancy　this　would　give　you　the　pleasure　of
undergoing　a　little　personal　inconvenience　for　the　good　of　another。〃

Meta　looked　half　puzzled；　half　thoughtful；　and　Margaret；　who　was　a
little　uneasy　at　the　style　of　counsel　she　found　herself　giving；
changed　the　conversation。

It　was　a　memorable　one　to　little　Miss　Rivers；　opening　out　to　her；　as
did　almost　all　her　meetings　with　that　family；　a　new　scope　for　thought
and　for　duty。　　The　code　to　which　she　had　been　brought　up　taught　that
servants　were　the　machines　of　their　employer's　convenience。　　Good…
nature　occasioned　much　kindliness　of　manner　and　intercourse；　and
every　luxury　and　indulgence　was　afforded　freely；　but　where　there　was
any　want　of　accordance　between　the　convenience　of　the　two　parties；
there　was　no　question。　　The　master　must　be　the　first　object；　the
servants'　remedy　was　in　their　own　hands。

Amiable　as　was　Mr。　Rivers；　this；　merely　from　indulgence　and　want　of
reflection；　was　his　principle；　and　his　daughter　had　only　been　acting
on　it；　though　she　did　not　know　it；　till　the　feelings　that　she　had
never　thought　of　were　thus　displayed　before　her。　　These　were　her
first　practical　lessons　that　life　was　not　meant　to　be　passed　in
pleasing　ourselves；　and　being　good…natured　at　small　cost。

It　was　an　effort。　　Meta　was　very　dependent；　never　having　been
encouraged　to　be　otherwise；　and　Bellairs　was　like　a　necessary　of　life
in　her　estimation；　but　strength　of　principle　came　to　aid　her
naturally　kind…hearted　feeling；　and　she　was　pleased　by　the　idea　of
voluntarily　undergoing　a　privation　so　as　to　test　her　sincerity。

So　when　her　father　told　her　of　the　inconvenient　times　of　the　trains；
and　declared　that　Bellairs　must　give　it　up；　she　answered　by　proposing
to　let　her　sleep　a　night　or　two　there；　gaily　promised　to　manage　very
well；　and　satisfied　him。

Her　maid's　grateful　looks　and　thanks　recompensed　her　when　she　made
the　offer　to　her；　and　inspirited　her　to　an　energetic　coaxing　of　Mrs。
Larpent；　who；　being　more　fully　aware　than　her　father　of　the
needfulness　of　the　lady's…maid；　and　also　very　anxious　that　her
darling　should　appear　to　the　best　advantage　before　the　expected　aunt；
Lady　Leonora　Langdale；　was　unwilling　to　grant　more　than　one　night　at
the　utmost。

Meta　carried　the　day；　and　her　last　assurance　to　Bellairs　was　that　she
might　stay　as　long　as　seemed　necessary　to　make　her　mother
comfortable。

Thereupon　Meta　found　herself　more　helpful　in　some　matters　than　she
had　expected；　but　at　a　loss　in　others。　　Susan；　with　all　Mrs。
Larpent's　supervision；　could　not　quite　bring　her　dress　to　the　air
that　was　so　peculiarly　graceful　and　becoming；　and　she　often　caught
her　papa's　eye　looking　at　her　as　if　he　saw　something　amiss；　and　could
not　discover　what　it　was。　　Then　came　Aunt　Leonora；　always　very　kind
to　Meta；　but　the　dread　of　the　rest　of　the　household；　whom　she　was
wont　to　lecture　on　the　proper　care　of　her　niece。　　Miss　Rivers　was
likely　to　have　a　considerable　fortune；　and　Lady