the daisy chain, or aspirations-第36节

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that　with　Mr。　Ward's。　　Dr。　May　had　never　been　entirely　satisfied　with
the　present　mode　of　treatment；　and　Richard　was　much　struck　by　hearing
him　say；　in　answer　to　Sir　Matthew；　that　he　knew　his　recovery　might
have　been　more　speedy　and　less　painful　if　he　had　been　able　to　attend
to　it　at　first；　or　to　afford　time　for　being　longer　laid　up。　　A　change
of　treatment　was　now　to　be　made；　likely　soon　to　relieve　the　pain；　to
be　less　tedious　and　troublesome；　and　to　bring　about　a　complete　cure
in　three　or　four　months　at　latest。　　In　hearing　such　tidings；　there
could　be　little　thought　of　the　person　who　brought　them；　and　Margaret
did　not；　till　the　last　moment；　learn　that　Richard　thought　Sir　Matthew
very　clever　and　sensible；　and　certain　to　understand　her　case。　　Her
last　visitor　was　her　father：　〃Asleep；　Margaret？　　I　thought　I　had
better　go　to　Norman　first　in　case　he　should　be　awake。〃

〃Was　he？〃

〃Yes；　but　his　pulse　is　better　to…night。　　He　was　lying　awake　to　hear
what　Fleet　thought　of　me。　　I　suppose　Richard　told　you？〃

〃Yes；　dear　papa；　what　a　comfort　it　is！〃

〃Those　fellows　in　London　do　keep　up　to　the　mark！　　But　I　would　not　be
there　for　something。　　I　never　saw　a　man　so　altered。　　However；　if　he
can　only　do　for　you　as　wellbut　it　is　of　no　use　talking　about　it。
I　may　trust　you　to　keep　yourself　calm；　my　dear？〃

〃I　am　tryingindeed　I　am；　dear　papa。　　If　you　could　help　being
anxious　for　methough　I　know　it　is　worse　for　you；　for　I　only　have　to
lie　still；　and　you　have　to　settle　for　me。　　But　I　have　been　thinking
how　well　off　I　am；　able　to　enjoy　so　much；　and　be　employed　all　day
long。　　It　is　nothing　to　compare　with　that　poor　girl　you　told　me　of；
and　you　need　not　be　unhappy　for　me。　　I　have　some　verses　to　say　over
to　myself　to…night：


　　　　　　　　0　Lord　my　God；　do　Thou　Thy　holy　will；
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　I　will　lie　still；
　　　　　　　　I　will　not　stir；　lest　I　forsake　Thine　arm
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　And　break　the　charm
　　　　　　　　That　lulls　me；　clinging　to　my　Father's　breast
　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　In　perfect　rest。


Is　not　that　comfortable？〃

〃My　childmy　dear　childI　will　say　no　more；　lest　I　should　break
your　sweet　peace　with　my　impatience。　　I　will　strive　for　the　same
temper；　my　Margaret。　Bless　you；　dearest；　good…night。〃

After　a　night　spent　in　waking　intervals　of　such　thoughts；　Margaret
found　the　ordinary　morning；　and　the　talk　she　could　not　escape；
somewhat　oppressive。　　Her　brothers　and　sisters　disturbed　her　by　their
open　expressions　of　hope　and　anxiety；　she　dreaded　to　have　the　balance
of　tranquillity　overset；　and　then　blamed　herself　for　selfishness　in
not　being　as　ready　to　attend　to　them　as　usual。　　Ethel　and　Norman　came
up　after　breakfast；　their　aversion　by　no　means　decreased　by　further
acquaintance。　　Ethel　was　highly　indignant　at　the　tone　in　which　he　had
exclaimed；　〃What；　May；　have　you　one　as　young　as　this？〃　on　discovering
the　existence　of　the　baby；　and　when　Norman　observed　that　was　not　so
atrocious　either；　she　proceeded；　〃You　did　not　hear　the　contemptuous；
compassionate　tone　when　he　asked　papa　what　he　meant　to　do　with　all
these　boys。〃

〃I'm　glad　he　has　not　to　settle；〃　said　Norman。

〃Papa　said　Harry　was　to　be　a　sailor；　and　he　said　it　was　a　good　way　to
save　expenses　of　educationa　good　thing。〃

〃No　doubt；〃　said　Norman；　〃he　thinks　papa　only　wants　to　get　rid　of　us；
or　if　not；　that　it　is　an　amiable　weakness。〃

〃But　I　can't　see　anything　so　shocking　in　this；〃　said　Margaret。

〃It　is　not　the　words；〃　said　Norman；　〃the　look　and　tone　convey　it；　but
there　are　different　opinions。　　Flora　is　quite　smitten　with　him；　he
talks　so　politely　to　her。〃

〃And　Blanche！〃　said　Ethel。　　〃The　little　affected　pussy…cat　made　a　set
at　him；　bridled　and　talked　in　her　mincing　voice；　with　all　her　airs；
and　made　him　take　a　great　deal　of　notice　of　her。〃

Nurse　here　came　to　prepare　for　the　surgeon's　visit。

It　was　over；　and　Margaret　awaited　the　judgment。　　Sir　Matthew　had
spoken　hopefully　to　her；　but　she　feared　to　fasten　hopes　on　what　might
have　no　meaning；　and　could　rely　on　nothing；　till　she　had　seen　her
father；　who　never　kept　back　his　genuine　pinion；　and　would　least　of
all　from　her。　　She　found　her　spirits　too　much　agitated　to　talk　to　her
sisters；　and　quietly　begged　them　to　let　her　be　quite　alone　till　the
consultation　was　over；　and　she　lay　trying　to　prepare　herself　to
submit　thankfully；　whether　she　might　be　bidden　to　resign　herself　to
helplessness；　or　to　let　her　mind　open　once　more　to　visions　of　joyous
usefulness。　　Every　step　she　hoped　would　prove　to　be　her　father's
approach；　and　the　longest　hour　of　her　life　was　that　before　he　entered
her　room。　　His　face　said　that　the　tidings　were　good；　and　yet　she
could　not　ask。

〃Well；　Margaret；　I　am　glad　we　had　him　down。　　He　thinks　you　may　get
about　again；　though　it　may　be　a　long　time　first。〃

〃Does　he？oh；　papa！〃　and　the　colour　spread　over　her　face；　as　she
squeezed　his　hand　very　fast。

〃He　has　known　the　use　of　the　limbs　return　almost　suddenly　after　even
a　year　or　two；〃　and　Dr。　May　gave　her　the　grounds　of　the　opinion；　and
an　account　of　other　like　cases；　which　he　said　had　convinced　him；
〃though；　my　poor　child；〃　he　said；　〃I　feared　the　harm　I　had　done　you
was　irremediable；　but　thanks〃　He　turned　away　his　face；　and　the
clasp　of　their　hands　spoke　the　rest。

Presently　he　told　Margaret　that　she　was　no　longer　to　be　kept
prostrate；　but　she　was　to　do　exactly　as　was　most　comfortable　to　her；
avoiding　nothing　but　fatigue。　　She　might　be　lifted　to　the　sofa　the
next　day；　and　if　that　agreed　with　her；　she　might　be　carried
downstairs。

This；　in　itself；　after　she　had　been　confined　to　her　bed　for　three
months；　was　a　release　from　captivity；　and　all　the　brothers　and
sisters　rejoiced　as　if　she　was　actually　on　her　feet　again。　　Richard
betook　himself　to　constructing　a　reading…frame　for　the　sofa；　Harry
tormented　Miss　Winter　by　insisting　on　a　holiday　for　the　others；　and
gained　the　day　by　an　appeal　to　his　father；　then　declared　he　should　go
and　tell　Mr。　Wilmot　the　good　news；　and　Norman；　quite　enlivened；　took
up　his　hat；　and　said　he　would　come　too。

In　all　his　joy；　however；　Dr。　May　could　not　cease　bewailing　the
alteration　in　his　old　friend；　and　spent　half　the　evening　in　telling
Margaret　how　different　he　had　once　been；　in　terms　little　less
measured　than　Ethel's：　〃I　never　saw　such　a　change。　　Mat　Fleet　was　one
of　the　most　warm；　open…hearted　fellows　in　the　world；　up　to　anything。
I　can　hardly　believe　he　is　the　sameturned　into　a　mere　machine；　with
a　moving　spring　of　self…interest！　　I　don't　believe　he　cares　a　rush
for　any　living　thing！　　Except　for　your　sake；　Margaret；　I　wish　I　had
never　seen　him　again；　and　only　remembered　him　as　he　was　at　Edinburgh；
as　I　remembered　dear　old　Spencer。　　It　is　a　grievous　thing！　　Ruined
entirely！　　No　doubt　that　London　life　must　be　tryingthe　constant
change　and　bewilderment　of　patients　preventing　much　individual　care
and　interest。　　It　must　be　very　hardening。　　No　family　ties　either；
nothing　to　look　to　but　pushing　his　way。　　Yes！　there's　great　excuse
for　poor　Mat。　　I　never　knew　fully　till　now　the　blessing　it　was　that
your　dear　mother　was　willing　to　take　me　so　early；　and　that　this　place
was　open　to　me　with　all　its　home　connections　and　interests。　　I　am
glad　I　never　had　anything　to　do　with　London！〃

And　when　he　was　alone　with　Norman；　he　could　not　help　saying；　〃Norman；
my　boy；　I'm　more　glad　than　ever　you　yielded　to　me　about　your　Greek
these　holidays；　and　for　the　reason　you　did。　　Take　care　the　love　of
rising　and　pushing　never　gets　hold　of　you；　there's　nothing　that
faster　changes　a　man　from　his　better　self。〃

Meanwhile；　Sir　Matthew　Fleet　had　met　another　old　college　friend　in
London；　and　was　answering　his　inquiries　for　the　Dick　May　of　ancient
times。

〃Poor　May！　　I　never　saw　a　man　so　thrown　away。　　With　his　talent　and
acuteness；　he　might　be　the　most　eminent　man　of　his　day；　if　he　had
only　known　how　to　use　them。　　But　he　was　always　the　same　careless；
soft…hearted　fellow；　never　knowing　how　to　do　himself　any　good；　and　he
is　the　same　still；　not　a　day　older　nor　wiser。　　It　was　a　fatal　thing
for　him　that　there　was　that　country　practice　ready　for　him　to　step
into；　and　even　of　that　he　does　not　make　as　good　a　thing　as　he　might。
Of　course；　he　married　early；　and　there　he　is；　left　a　widower　with　a
house　full　of　childrenscreaming　babies；　and　great　tall　sons　growing
up；　and　he　without　a　notion　what　he　shall　do　with　them；　as　heedless
as　eversaving　nothing；　of　course。　　I　always　knew　it　was　what　he
would　come　to；　if　he　would　persist　in　burying　himself　in　that
wretched　little　country　town；　but　I　hardly　thought；　after　all　he　has
gone　through；　to　find　him　such　a　mere　boy　still。　　And　yet　he　is　one
of　the　cleverest　men　I　ever　metwith　such　talent；　and　such　thorough
knowledge　of　his　profession；　that　it　does　one　good　to　hear　him　talk。
Poor　May！　　I　am　sorry　for　him；　he　might　have　been　anything；　but　that
early　marriage　and　country　practice　were　the　ruin　of　him。〃




CHAPTER　XIV。



To　thee；　dear　maid；　each　kindly　wile
　　Was　known；　that　elder　sisters　know；
To　check　the　unseasonable　smile；
　　With　warning　hand　and　serious　brow。

From　dream　to　dream　with　her　to　rove；
　　Like　fairy　nurse　with　hermit　child；
Teach　her　to　think；　to　pray；　to　love；
　　Make　grief　less　bitter；　joy　less　wild。