the daisy chain, or aspirations-第26节

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〃Are　these　verses　of　poor　Ethel's　safe　at　home？〃

〃Yes；　I　took　care　of　that。　　Mind　you　don't　tell　anyone；　Margaret；　I
never　told　even　Norman。〃

〃But　all　your　school…fellows　aren't　like　these？　　You　have　Hector
Ernescliffe。〃

〃He's　a　nice　fellow　enough；　but　he　is　little；　and　down　in　the　school。
'Twould　be　making　a　fourth　form　of　myself　to　be　after　him。　　The　fact
is；　Margaret；　they　are　a　low；　ungentlemanly　lot　just　now；　about　sixth
and　upper　fifth　form；〃　said　Harry；　lowering　his　voice　into　an　anxious
confidential　tone；　〃and　since　Norman　has　been　less　amongst　them；
they've　got　worse；　and　you　see；　now　home　is　different；　and　he　isn't
like　what　he　was；　I'm　thrown　on　them；　and　I　want　to　get　out　of　it。　　I
didn't　know　that　was　it　before；　but　Richard　showed　me　what　set　me　on
thinking　of　it；　and　I　see　she　knew　all　about　it。〃

〃That　she　did！　　There　is　a　great　deal　in　what　you　say；　Harry；　but　you
know　she　thought　nothing　would　be　of　real　use　but　changing　within。
If　you　don't　get　a　root　of　strength　in　yourself；　your　ship　will　be　no
better　to　you　than　schoolthere　will　be　idle　midshipmen　as　well　as
idle　school…boys。〃

〃Yes；　I　know；〃　said　Harry；　〃but　do　you　think　papa　will　consent？　　She
would　not　have　minded。〃

〃I　can't　tell。　　I　should　think　he　would；　but　if　any　scheme　is　to　come
to　good；　it　must　begin　by　your　telling　him　of　the　going　out
shooting。〃

Harry　sighed。　　〃I'd　have　done　it　long　ago　if　she　was　here；〃　he　said。
〃I　never　did　anything　so　bad　before　without　telling；　and　I　don't　like
it　at　all。　　It　seems　to　come　between　him　and　me　when　I　wish　him　good…
night。〃

〃Then；　Harry；　pray　do　tell　him。　　You'll　have　no　comfort　if　you
don't。〃

〃I　know　I　shan't；　but　then　he'll　be　so　angry！　　And；　do　you　know；
Margaret；　'twas　worse　than　I　told　you；　for　a　covey　of　partridges　got
up；　and　unluckily　I　had　got　the　gun；　and　I　fired　and　killed　one；　and
that　was　regular　poaching；　you　know！　　And　when　we　heard　some　one
coming；　how　we　did　cut！　　Axthe　other　fellow；　I　mean；　got　it；　and
cooked　it　in　his　bedroom；　and　ate　it　for　supper；　and　he　laughs　about
it；　but　I　have　felt　so　horrid　all　the　week！　　Suppose　a　keeper　had　got
a　summons！〃

〃I　can　only　say　again；　the　only　peace　will　be　in　telling。〃

〃Yes；　but　he　will　be　so　angry。　　When　that　lot　of　fellows　a　year　or
two　ago　did　something　like　it；　and　shot　some　of　the　Abbotstoke
rabbits；　don't　you　remember　how　much　he　said　about　its　being
disgraceful；　and　ordering　us　never　to　have　anything　to　do　with　their
gunnery？　　And　he　will　think　it　so　very　bad　to　have　gone　out　on　a　lark
just　now！　　Oh；　I　wish　I　hadn't　done　it。〃

〃So　do　I；　indeed；　Harry！　but　I　am　sure；　even　it　he　should　be　angry　at
first；　he　will　he　pleased　with　your　confessing。〃

Harry　looked　very　reluctant　and　disconsolate；　and　his　sister　did　not
wonder　for　Dr。　May's　way　of　hearing　of　a　fault　was　never　to　be
calculated　on。　　〃Come；　Harry；〃　said　she；　〃if　he　is　ever　so　angry；
though　I　don't　think　he　will　be；　do　you　think　that　will　be　half　as
bad　as　this　load　at　your　heart？　　Besides；　if　you　are　not　bold　enough
to　speak　to　him；　do　you　think　you　can　ever　be　brave　enough　for　a
sailor？〃

〃I　will；〃　said　Harry；　and　the　words　were　hardly　spoken；　before　his
father's　hand　was　on　the　door。　　He　was　taken　by　surprise　at　the
moment　of　trial　coming　so　speedily；　and　had　half　a　mind　to　retreat　by
the　other　door；　he　was　stayed　by　the　reflection　that　Margaret　would
think　him　a　coward；　unfit　for　a　sailor；　and　he　made　up　his　mind　to
endure　whatever　might　betide。

〃Harry　here？　　This　is　company　I　did　not　expect。〃

〃Harry　has　something　to　say　to　you；　papa。〃

〃Eh！　my　boy；　what　is　it？〃　said　he　kindly。

〃Papa；　I　have　killed　a　partridge。　　Two　fellows　got　me　to　hire　a　gun；
and　go　out　shooting　with　them　last　Saturday；〃　said　Harry；　speaking
firmly　and　boldly　now　he　had　once　begun。　〃We　meant　only　to　go　after
pee…wits；　but　a　partridge　got　up；　and　I　killed　it。〃

Then　came　a　pause。　　Harry　stopped；　and　Dr。　May　waited；　half　expecting
to　hear　that　the　boy　was　only　brought　to　confession　by　finding
himself　in　a　scrape。　　Margaret　spoke。　　〃And　he　could　not　be　happy
till　he　had　told　you。〃

〃Is　it　so？　　Is　that　the　whole？〃　said　the　doctor；　looking　at　his　son
with　a　keen　glance；　between　affection　and　inquiry；　as　if　only　waiting
to　be　sure　the　confession　was　free；　before　he　gave　his　free
forgiveness。

〃Yes；　papa；〃　said　Harry；　his　voice　and　lip　losing　their　firmness；　as
the　sweetness　of　expression　gained　the　day　on　his　father's　face。
〃Only　that　I　know'twas　very　wrongespecially　nowand　I　am　very
sorryand　I　beg　your　pardon。〃

The　latter　words　came　between　sighs；　fast　becoming　sobs；　in　spite　of
Harry's　attempts　to　control　them；　as　his　father　held　out　his　arm；　and
drew　him　close　to　him。

〃That's　mamma's　own　brave　boy；〃　he　said　in　his　earin　a　voice　which
strong　feeling　had　reduced　to　such　a　whisper；　that　even　Margaret
could　not　hearshe　only　saw　how　Harry；　sobbing　aloud；　clung　tighter
and　tighter　to　him；　till　he　said　〃Take　care　of　my　arm！〃　and　Harry
sprang　back　at　least　a　yard；　with　such　a　look　of　dismay；　that　the
doctor　laughed。　　〃No　harm　done！〃　said　he。　　〃I　was　only　a　little　in
dread　of　such　a　young　lion！　　Comeback；　Harry；〃　and　he　took　his　hand。
〃It　was　a　bad　piece　of　work；　and　it　will　never　do　for　you　to　let
yourself　be　drawn　into　every　bit　of　mischief　that　is　on　foot；　I
believe　I　ought　to　give　you　a　good　lecture　on　it；　but　I　can't　do　it；
after　such　a　straightforward　confession。　　You　must　have　gone　through
enough　in　the　last　week；　not　to　be　likely　to　do　it　again。〃

〃Yes；　papathank　you。〃

〃I　suppose　I　must　not　ask　you　any　questions　about　it；　for　fear　of
betraying　the　fellows；〃　said　Dr。　May；　half　smiling。

〃Thank　you；　papa；〃　said　Harry；　infinitely　relieved　and　grateful；　and
quite　content　for　some　space　to　lean　in　silence　against　the　chair；
with　that　encircling　arm　round　him；　while　some　talk　passed　between
his　father　and　Margaret。

What　a　world　of　thought　passed　through　the　boy's　young　soul　in　that
space！　　First；　there　was　a　thrill　of　intense；　burning　love　to　his
father；　scarcely　less　fondness　to　his　sweet　motherly　sister；　a
clinging　feeling　to　every　chair　and　table　of　that　room；　which　seemed
still　full　of　his　mother's　presence；　a　numbering　over　of　all　the
others　with　ardent　attachment；　and　a　flinging　from　him　with　horror
the　notion　of　asking　to　be　far　away　from　that　dearest　father；　that
loving　home；　that　arm　that　was　round　him。　　Anything　rather　than　be
without　them　in　the　dreary　world！　　But　then　came　the　remembrance　of
cherished　visions；　the　shame　of　relinquishing　a　settled　purpose；　the
thought　of　weary　morrows；　with　the　tempters　among　his　playmates；　and
his　home　blank　and　melancholy；　and　the　roaming　spirit　of　enterprise
stirred　again；　and　reproached　him　with　being　a　baby；　for　fancying　he
could　stay　at　home　for　ever。　　He　would　come　back　again　with　such
honours　as　Allan　Ernescliffe　had　brought；　and　oh！　if　his　father　so
prized　them　in　a　stranger；　what　would　it　be　in　his　own　son？　　Come
home　to　such　a　greeting　as　would　make　up　for　the　parting！　　Harry's
heart　throbbed　again　for　the　boundless　sea；　the　tall　ship；　and　the
wondrous　foreign　climes；　where　he　had　so　often　lived　in　fancy。
Should　he；　could　he　speak：　was　this　the　moment？　and　he　stood　gazing
at　the　fire；　oppressed　with　the　weighty　reality　of　deciding　his
destiny。　　At　last　Dr。　May　looked　in　his　face；　〃Well；　what　now；　boy？
You　have　your　head　full　of　somethingwhat's　coming　next？〃

Out　it　came；　〃Papa　will　you　let　me　be　a　sailor？〃

〃Oh！〃　said　Dr。　May；　〃that　is　come　on　again；　is　it？　　I　thought　that
you　had　forgotten　all　that。〃

〃No；　papa；〃　said　Harry；　with　the　manly　coolness　that　the　sense　of　his
determination　gave　him〃it　was　not　a　mere　fancy；　and　I　have　never
had　it　out　of　my　head。　　I　mean　it　quite　in　earnestI　had　rather　be　a
sailor。　　I　don't　wish　to　get　away　from　Latin　and　Greek；　I　don't　mind
them；　but　I　think　I　could　be　a　better　sailor　than　anything。　　I　know
it　is　not　all　play；　but　I　am　willing　to　rough　it；　and　I　am　getting　so
old；　it　is　time　to　see　about　it；　so　will　you　consent　to　it；　papa？〃

〃Well！　there's　some　sense　in　your　way　of　putting　it；〃　said　Dr。　May。
〃You　have　it　strong　in　your　head　then；　and　you　know　'tis　not　all
fair…weather　work！〃

〃That　I　do；　Alan　told　me　histories；　and　I've　read　all　about　it；　but
one　must　rough　it　anywhere；　and　if　I　am　ever　so　far　away；　I'll　try
not　to　forget　what's　right。　　I'll　do　my　duty；　and　not　care　for
danger。〃

〃Well　said；　my　man；　but　remember　'tis　easier　talking　by　one's　own
fireside　than　doing　when　the　trial　comes。〃

〃And　will　you　let　me；　papa？〃

〃I'll　think　about　it。　　I　can't　make　up　my　mind　as　'quick　as
directly；'　you　know；　Harry；〃　said　his　father；　smiling　kindly；　〃but　I
won't　treat　it　as　a　boy's　fancy；　for　you've　spoken　in　a　manly　way；
and　deserve　to　be　attended　to。　　Now　run　down；　and　tell　the　girls　to
put　away　their　work；　for　I　shall　come　down　in　a　minute　to　read
prayers。〃

Harry　went；　and　his　father　sighed　and　mused！　　〃That's　a　fine　fellow！
So　this　is　what　comes　of　bringing　sick　sailors　homeone's　own　boys
must　be　catching　the　infection。　　Little　monkey；　he　talks　as　wisely　as
if　he　were　forty！　　He　is　really　set　on　it；　do　you　think；　Margaret？
I'm　afraid　so！〃