the daisy chain, or aspirations-第181节

按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！


partly　from　her　deficiency　of　manner；　and　still　more　from　her　true
humility　and　affection。　　Gradually　she　arrived　at　the　perception　of
the　history　of　her　sister's　mind；　understood　what　gloom　had　once
overshadowed　it；　and　how；　since　light　had　once　shone　upon　her；　she
shrank　not　merely　from　the　tasks　that　had　become　wearisome　to　her；
but　from　the　dread　of　losing　among　them　her　present　peace。

〃They　are　your　duty；〃　argued　Ethel。　　〃Duty　brings　peace。〃

〃They　were　not；〃　said　Flora。

〃They　are　now；〃　said　Ethel。

〃Dinners　and　parties；　empty　talk　and　vain　show；〃　said　Flora
languidly。　　〃Are　you　come　to　their　defence；　Ethel？　　If　you　could
guess　how　sick　one　gets　of　them；　and　how　much　worse　it　is　for　them
not　to　be　hateful！　　And　to　think　of　bringing　my　poor　little　girl　up
to　the　like；　if　she　is　spared！〃

〃If　they　are　not　duties；　I　would　not　do　them；〃　said　Ethel。

〃Ethel；〃　cried　her　sister；　raising　herself　from　her　couch　eagerly；　〃I
will　say　it　to　you！　　What　should　you　think　of　George　resigning　his
seat；　and　living　in　peace　here？〃

〃Would　he？〃　said　Ethel。

〃If　I　wished　it。〃

〃But　what　would　he　do　with　himself？〃　said　Ethel；　not　in　too
complimentary　a　strain。

〃Yachting；　farming；　Cochin…Chineseor　something；〃　said　Flora。
〃Anything　not　so　wearing　as　this！〃

〃That　abominable　candidate　of　Tomkins's　would　come　in！〃　exclaimed
Ethel。　　〃Oh；　Flora；　that　would　be　horrid！〃

〃That　might　be　guarded　against；〃　said　Flora。　　〃Perhaps　Sir　Henry
But　oh！　let　us　leave　politics　in　peace　while　we　can。　　I　thought　we
should　do　some　great　good；　but　it　is　all　a　maze　of　confusion。　　It　is
so　hard　to　know　principles　from　parties；　and　everything　goes　wrong！
It　is　of　no　use　to　contend　with　it！〃

〃It　is　never　vain　to　contend　with　evil；〃　said　Ethel。

〃We　are　not　generalising；〃　said　Flora。　　〃There　is　evil　nearer　home
than　the　state　of　parties；　and　I　can't　see　that　George's　being　in
Parliamentbeing　what　he　isis　anything　like　the　benefit　to　things
in　generalthat　it　is　temptation　and　plague　to　me；　besides　the　risk
of　London　life　for　the　baby；　now　and　hereafter。〃

〃I　can't　say　that　I　think　it　is；〃　said　Ethel。　　〃How　nice　it　would　be
to　have　you　here！　　I　am　so　glad　you　are　willing　to　give　it　up。〃

〃It　would　have　been　better　to　have　given　it　up　untastedlike
Norman；〃　sighed　Flora。　　〃I　will　talk　to　George。〃

〃But；　Flora；〃　said　Ethel；　a　little　startled；　〃you　ought　not　to　do
such　a　thing　without　advice。〃

〃There　will　be　worry　enough　before　it　is　done！〃　sighed　Flora。　　〃No
fear　of　that！〃

〃Stop　a　minute；〃　said　Ethel；　as　if　poor　Flora　could　have　done
anything　but　lie　still　on　her　sofa。　　〃I　think　you　ought　to　consider
well　before　you　set　it　going。〃

〃Have　not　I　longed　for　it　day　and　night？　　It　is　an　escape　from　peril
for　ourselves　and　our　child。〃

〃I　can't　be　sure！〃　said　Ethel。　　〃It　may　be　more　wrong　to　make　George
desert　the　post　which〃

〃Which　I　thrust　him　into；〃　said　Flora。　　〃My　father　told　me　as　much。〃

〃I　did　not　mean　you　to　say　that！　　But　it　is　a　puzzle。　　It　seems　as　if
it　were　right　to　give　up　such　things；　yet；　when　I　recollect　the
difficulty　of　carrying　an　election　right　at　Stoneborough；　I　think
papa　would　be　very　sorry。　　I　don't　think　his　interest　would　bring　in
any　sound　man　but　his　son…in…law；　and　George　himself　seems　to　like
his　parliamentary　life　better　than　anything　else。〃

〃Yes；〃　said　Flora　hesitatingly；　for　she　knew　it　was　truehe　liked　to
think　himself　important；　and　it　gave　him　something　to　think　of；　and
regular　occupationnot　too　active　or　onerous；　but　she　could　not　tell
Ethel　what　she　herself　felt；　that　all　she　could　do　for　him　could　not
prevent　him　from　being　held　cheap　by　the　men　among　whom　she　had
placed　him。

〃Then；〃　said　Ethel；　as　she　heard　her　affirmative；　〃I　don't　think　it
is　for　his　dignity；　for　you　to　put　him　into　Parliament　to　please　you
and　then　take　him　out　to　please　you。〃

〃I'll　take　care　of　his　dignity；〃　said　Flora　shortly。

〃I　know　you　would　do　it　well〃

〃I　am　sick　of　doing　things　well！〃　said　poor　Flora。　　〃You　little　know
how　I　dread　reading　up　all　I　must　read　presently！　　I　shall　lose　all　I
have　scarcely　gained。　　I　cannot　find　peace　any　way；　but　by　throwing
down　the　load　I　gave　my　peace　for。〃

〃Whether　this　is　truth　or　fancy；〃　said　Ethel　thoughtfully。　　〃If　you
would　ask　some　one　competent。〃

〃Don't　you　know　there　are　some　things　one　cannot　ask？〃　said　Flora。
〃I　don't　know　why　I　spoke　to　you！　　Ah！　come　in！　　Why；　George；　that　is
a　finer　egg　than　ever；〃　as　he　entered　with　a　Shanghai　egg　in　each
hand；　for　her　to　mark　with　the　date　when　it　had　been　laid。　　Poultry
was　a　new　hobby；　and　Ethel　had　been　hearing；　in　her　tete…a…tete
dinners　with　George；　a　great　deal　about　the　perfections　of　the
hideous　monsters　that　had　obtained　fabulous　prices。　　They　had　been
the　best　resource　for　conversation；　but　she　watched；　with　something
between　vexation　and　softness；　how　Flora　roused　herself　to　give　her
full　attention　and　interest　to　his　prosing　about　his　pets；　really
pleased　as　it　seemed；　and；　at　last；　encouraging　him　actually　to　fetch
his　favourite　cock　to　show　her；　when　she　went　through　the　points　of
perfection　of　the　ungainly　mass　of　feathers；　and　did　not　at　all　allow
Ethel　to　laugh　at　the　unearthly　sounds　of　disapproval　which　handling
elicited。

〃And　this　is　our　senator！〃　thought　Ethel。　　〃I　wonder　whether
Honorius's　hen　was　a　Shanghai！　　Poor　Flora　is　rightit　is　poor　work
to　make　a　silk　purse　out　of　a　sow's　ear！　but；　putting　him　into　the
place　is　one　thing；　taking　him　out　another。　　I　wish　she　would　take
advice；　but　I　never　knew　her　do　that；　except　as　a　civil　way　of
communicating　her　intentions。　　However；　she　is　not　quite　what　she
was！　　Poor　dear！　　Aunt　Flora　will　never　believe　what　a　beautiful
creature　she　used　to　be！　　It　seems　wrong　to　think　of　her　going　back
to　that　horrid　London；　but　I　can't　judge。　　For　my　part；　I'd　rather　do
work；　than　no　work　for　George；　and　he　is　a　good；　kind…hearted　fellow
after　all！　　I　won't　be　a　crab！〃

So　Ethel　did　her　best；　and　said　the　cock　had　a　bright　eyeall　she
could　say　for　himand　George　instructed　her　to　admire　the　awkward
legs；　and　invited　her　to　a　poultry　show；　at　Whitford；　in　two　days'
timeand　they　sent　him　away　to　continue　his　consultations　with　the
poultry　woman；　which　pullets　should　be　preferred　as　candidates　for　a
prize。

〃Meta　set　him　upon　this；〃　said　Flora。　　〃I　hope　you　will　go；　Ethel。
You　see　he　can　be　very　happy　here。〃

〃Still；〃　said　Ethel；　〃the　more　I　think；　the　more　sure　I　am　that　you
ought　to　ask　advice。〃

〃I　have　asked　yours；〃　said　Flora；　as　if　it　were　a　great　effort。　　〃You
don't　know　what　to　sayI　shall　do　what　I　see　to　be　the　only　way　to
rest。〃

〃I　do　know　what　to　say；〃　said　Ethel；　〃and　that　is；　do　as　the　Prayer…
book　tells　you；　in　any　perplexity。〃

〃I　am　not　perplexed；〃　said　Flora。

〃Don't　say　so。　　This　is　either　the　station　to　which　God　has　called
you；　or　it　is　not。〃

〃He　never　called　me　to　it。〃

〃But　you　don't　know　whether　you　ought　to　leave　it。　　If　you　ought　not；
you　would　be　ten　times　more　miserable。　　Go　to　Richard；　Florahe
belongs　to　you　as　much　as　Ihe　has　authority　besides。〃

〃Richard！〃

〃He　is　the　clearest　of　us　all　in　practical　matters；〃　said　Ethel；
preventing　what　she　feared　would　be　disparaging。　　〃I　don't　mean　only
that　you　should　ask　him　about　this　Parliament　matter　alone；　but　I　am
sure　you　would　be　happier　and　more　settled　if　you　talked　things　over
with　him　beforebefore　you　go　to　church。〃

〃You　don't　know　what　you　propose。〃

〃I　do；〃　said　Ethel；　growing　bolder。　　〃You　have　been　going　all　this
time　by　feeling。　　You　have　never　cleared　up；　and　got　to　the　bottom
of；　your　troubles。〃

〃I　could　not　talk　to　any　one。〃

〃Not　to　any　one　but　a　clergyman。　　Now；　to　enter　on　such　a　thing　is
most　averse　to　your　nature；　and　I　do　believe　that；　for　that　very
reason；　it　would　be　what　would　do　you　most　good。　　You　say　you　have
recovered　sense　of　Oh；　Flora！　I　can't　talk　of　what　you　have　gone
through；　but　if　you　have　only　a　vague　feeling　that　seems　as　if　lying
still　would　be　the　only　way　to　keep　it；　I　don't　think　it　can　be
altogether　sound；　or　the　'quiet　conscience'　that　is　meant。〃

〃Oh；　Ethel！　　Ethel！　　I　have　never　told　you　what　I　have　undergone；
since　I　knew　my　former　quietness　of　conscience　was　but　sleep！　I　have
gone　on　in　agony；　with　the　sense　of　hypocrisy　and　despair；　because　I
was　afraid；　for　George's　sake；　to　do　otherwise。〃

Elhel　felt　herself　utterly　powerless　to　advise；　and；　after　a　kind
sound　of　sympathy；　sat　shocked；　pondering　on　what　none　could　answer；
whether　this　were；　indeed；　what　poor　Flora　imagined；　or　whether　it
had　been　a　holding…fast　to　the　thread　through　the　darkness。　　The
proud　reserve　was　the　true　evil；　and　Ethel　prayed　and　trusted　it
might　give　way。

She　went　very　amiably　to　Whitford　with　George；　and　gained　great
credit　with　him；　for　admiring　the　prettiest　speckled　Hamburgh
present；　indeed；　George　was　becoming　very　fond　of　〃poor　Ethel；〃　as　he
still　called　her；　and　sometimes　predicted　that　she　would　turn　out　a
fine　figure　of　a　woman　after　all。

Ethel　heard；　on　her　return；　that　Richard　had　been　there；　and　three
days　after；　when　Flora　was　making　arrangements　for　going　to　church；　a
moment　of　confidence　came　over　her；　and　she　s