armadale-第87节

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sheer　despair　of　finding　comfort　and　help　anywhere　else；　she　had
cast　herself　impulsively　on　her　mother's　mercy；　and　this　was　how
it　had　ended！　〃Oh；　mamma；〃　she　pleaded；　〃you　know　I　didn't　mean
to　offend　you！　I　couldn't　help　it　when　you　spoke　so　of　my　father。
Oh；　do；　do　forgive　me！〃

Mrs。　Milroy　turned　again　on　her　pillow；　and　looked　at　her
daughter　vacantly。　〃Forgive　you？〃　she　repeated；　with　her　mind
still　in　the　past；　groping　its　way　back　darkly　to　the　present。

〃I　beg　your　pardon；　mammaI　beg　your　pardon　on　my　knees。　I　am　so
unhappy；　I　do　so　want　a　little　kindness！　Won't　you　forgive　me？〃

〃Wait　a　little；〃　rejoined　Mrs。　Milroy。　〃Ah；〃　she　said；　after　an
interval；　〃now　I　know！　Forgive　you？　Yes；　I'll　forgive　you　on　one
condition。〃　She　lifted　Neelie's　head；　and　looked　her　searchingly
in　the　face。　〃Tell　me　why　you　hate　Miss　Gwilt！　You've　a　reason　of
your　own　for　hating　her；　and　you　haven't　confessed　it　yet。〃

Neelie's　head　dropped　again。　The　burning　color　that　she　was
hiding　by　hiding　her　face　showed　itself　on　her　neck。　Her　mother
saw　it；　and　gave　her　time。

〃Tell　me；〃　reiterated　Mrs。　Milroy；　more　gently；　〃why　do　you　hate
her？〃

The　answer　came　reluctantly；　a　word　at　a　time；　in　fragments。

〃Because　she　is　trying〃

〃Trying　what？〃

〃Trying　to　make　somebody　who　is　much〃

〃Much　what？〃

〃Much　too　young　for　her〃

〃Marry　her？〃

〃Yes；　mamma。〃

Breathlessly　interested；　Mrs。　Milroy　leaned　forward；　and　twined
her　hand　caressingly　in　her　daughter's　hair。

〃Who　is　it；　Neelie？〃　she　asked；　in　a　whisper。

〃You　will　never　say　I　told　you；　mamma？〃

〃Never！　Who　is　it？〃

〃Mr。　Armadale。〃

Mrs。　Milroy　leaned　back　on　her　pillow　in　dead　silence。　The　plain
betrayal　of　her　daughter's　first　love；　by　her　daughter's　own
lips；　which　would　have　absorbed　the　whole　attention　of　other
mothers；　failed　to　occupy　her　for　a　moment。　Her　jealousy；
distorting　all　things　to　fit　its　own　conclusions；　was　busied　in
distorting　what　she　had　just　heard。　〃A　blind；〃　she　thought；
〃which　has　deceived　my　girl。　It　doesn't　deceive　_me。_　Is　Miss
Gwilt　likely　to　succeed？〃　she　asked；　aloud。　〃Does　Mr。　Armadale
show　any　sort　of　interest　in　her？〃

Neelie　looked　up　at　her　mother　for　the　first　time。　The　hardest
part　of　the　confession　was　over　now。　She　had　revealed　the　truth
about　Miss　Gwilt；　and　she　had　openly　mentioned　Allan's　name。

〃He　shows　the　most　unaccountable　interest；〃　she　said。　〃It's
impossible　to　understand　it。　It's　downright　infatuation。　I
haven't　patience　to　talk　about　it！〃

〃How　do　_you_　come　to　be　in　Mr。　Armadale's　secrets？〃　inquired
Mrs。　Milroy。　〃Has　he　informed　_you；_　of　all　the　people　in　the
world；　of　his　interest　in　Miss　Gwilt？〃

〃Me！〃　exclaimed　Neelie；　indignantly。　〃It's　quite　bad　enough　that
he　should　have　told　papa。〃

At　the　re…appearance　of　the　major　in　the　narrative；　Mrs。　Milroy's
interest　in　the　conversation　rose　to　its　climax。　She　raised
herself　again　from　the　pillow。　〃Get　a　chair；〃　she　said。　〃Sit
down；　child；　and　tell　me　all　about　it。　Every　word；　mindevery
word！〃

〃I　can　only　tell　you；　mamma；　what　papa　told　me。〃

〃When？〃

〃Saturday。　I　went　in　with　papa's　lunch　to　the　workshop；　and　he
said；　'I　have　just　had　a　visit　from　Mr。　Armadale；　and　I　want　to
give　you　a　caution　while　I　think　of　it。'　I　didn't　say　anything；
mamma；　I　only　waited。　Papa　went　on；　and　told　me　that　Mr。　Armadale
had　been　speaking　to　him　on　the　subject　of　Miss　Gwilt；　and　that
he　had　been　asking　a　question　about　her　which　nobody　in　his
position　had　a　right　to　ask。　Papa　said　he　had　been　obliged；
good…humoredly；　to　warn　Mr。　Armadale　to　be　a　little　more
delicate；　and　a　little　more　careful　next　time。　I　didn't　feel　much
interested；　mamma；　it　didn't　matter　to　_me_　what　Mr。　Armadale
said　or　did。　Why　should　I　care　about　it？〃

〃Never　mind　yourself；〃　interposed　Mrs。　Milroy；　sharply。　〃Go　on
with　what　your　father　said。　What　was　he　doing　when　he　was　talking
about　Miss　Gwilt？　How　did　he　look？〃

〃Much　as　usual；　mamma。　He　was　walking　up　and　down　the　workshop；
and　I　took　his　arm　and　walked　up　and　down　with　him。〃

〃I　don't　care　what　_you_　were　doing；〃　said　Mrs。　Milroy；　more　and
more　irritably。　〃Did　your　father　tell　you　what　Mr。　Armadale's
question　was；　or　did　he　not？〃

〃Yes；　mamma。　He　said　Mr。　Armadale　began　by　mentioning　that　he　was
very　much　interested　in　Miss　Gwilt；　and　he　then　went　on　to　ask
whether　papa　could　tell　him　anything　about　her　family
misfortunes〃

〃What！〃　cried　Mrs。　Milroy。　The　word　burst　from　her　almost　in　a
scream；　and　the　white　enamel　on　her　face　cracked　in　all
directions。　〃Mr。　Armadale　said　_that？_〃　she　went　on；　leaning　out
further　and　further　over　the　side　of　the　bed。

Neelie　started　up；　and　tried　to　put　her　mother　back　on　the
pillow。

〃Mamma！〃　she　exclaimed；　〃are　you　in　pain？　Are　you　ill？　You
frighten　me！〃

〃Nothing；　nothing；　nothing；〃　said　Mrs。　Milroy。　She　was　too
violently　agitated　to　make　any　other　than　the　commonest　excuse。
〃My　nerves　are　bad　this　morning；　don't　notice　it。　I'll　try　the
other　side　of　the　pillow。　Go　on！　go　on！。　I'm　listening；　though
I'm　not　looking　at　you。〃　She　turned　her　face　to　the　wall；　and
clinched　her　trembling　hands　convulsively　beneath　the　bedclothes。
〃I've　got　her！〃　she　whispered　to　herself；　under　her　breath。　〃I've
got　her　at　last！〃

〃I'm　afraid　I've　been　talking　too　much；〃　said　Neelie。　〃I'm　afraid
I've　been　stopping　here　too　long。　Shall　I　go　downstairs；　mamma；
and　come　back　later　in　the　day？〃

〃Go　on；〃　repeated　Mrs。　Milroy；　mechanically。　〃What　did　your
father　say　next？　Anything　more　about　Mr。　Armadale？〃

〃Nothing　more；　except　how　papa　answered　him；〃　replied　Neelie。
〃Papa　repeated　his　own　words　when　he　told　me　about　it。　He　said；
'In　the　absence　of　any　confidence　volunteered　by　the　lady
herself；　Mr。　Armadale；　all　I　know　or　wish　to　knowand　you　must
excuse　me　for　saying；　all　any　one　else　need　know　or　wish　to
knowis　that　Miss　Gwilt　gave　me　a　perfectly　satisfactory
reference　before　she　entered　my　house。'　Severe；　mamma；　wasn't　it？
I　don't　pity　him　in　the　least；　he　richly　deserved　it。　The　next
thing　was　papa's　caution　to　_me。_　He　told　me　to　check　Mr。
Armadale's　curiosity　if　he　applied　to　me　next。　As　if　he　was
likely　to　apply　to　me！　And　as　if　I　should　listen　to　him　if　he
did！　That's　all；　mamma。　You　won't　suppose；　will　you；　that　I　have
told　you　this　because　I　want　to　hinder　Mr。　Armadale　from　marrying
Miss　Gwilt？　Let　him　marry　her　if　he　pleases；　I　don't　care！〃　said
Neelie；　in　a　voice　that　faltered　a　little；　and　with　a　face　which
was　hardly　composed　enough　to　be　in　perfect　harmony　with　a
declaration　of　indifference。　〃All　I　want　is　to　be　relieved　from
the　misery　of　having　Miss　Gwilt　for　my　governess。　I'd　rather　go
to　school。　I　should　like　to　go　to　school。　My　mind's　quite　changed
about　all　that；　only　I　haven't　the　heart　to　tell　papa。　I　don't
know　what's　come　to　me；　I　don't　seem　to　have　heart　enough　for
anything　now；　and　when　papa　takes　me　on　his　knee　in　the　evening；
and　says；　'Let's　have　a　talk；　Neelie；'　he　makes　me　cry。　Would　you
mind　breaking　it　to　him；　mamma；　that　I've　changed　my　mind；　and　I
want　to　go　to　school？〃　The　tears　rose　thickly　in　her　eyes；　and
she　failed　to　see　that　her　mother　never　even　turned　on　the　pillow
to　look　round　at　her。

〃Yes；　yes；〃　said　Mrs。　Milroy；　vacantly。　〃You're　a　good　girl；　you
shall　go　to　school。〃

The　cruel　brevity　of　the　reply；　and　the　tone　in　which　it　was
spoken；　told　Neelie　plainly　that　her　mother's　attention　had　been
wandering　far　away　from　her；　and　that　it　was　useless　and　needless
to　prolong　the　interview。　She　turned　aside　quietly；　without　a
word　of　remonstrance。　It　was　nothing　new　in　her　experience　to
find　herself　shut　out　from　her　mother's　sympathies。　She　looked　at
her　eyes　in　the　glass；　and；　pouring
　out　some　cold　water；　bathed　her　face。　〃Miss　Gwilt　shan't　see
I've　been　crying！〃　thought　Neelie；　as　she　went　back　to　the
bedside　to　take　her　leave。　〃I've　tired　you　out；〃　mamma；〃　she
said；　gently。　〃Let　me　go　now；　and　let　me　come　back　a　little　later
when　you　have　had　some　rest。〃

〃Yes；〃　repeated　her　mother；　as　mechanically　as　ever；　〃a　little
later　when　I　have　had　some　rest。〃

Neelie　left　the　room。　The　minute　after　the　door　had　closed　on
her；　Mrs。　Milroy　rang　the　bell　for　her　nurse。　In　the　face　of　the
narrative　she　had　just　heard；　in　the　face　of　every　reasonable
estimate　of　probabilities；　she　held　to　her　own　jealous
conclusions　as　firmly　as　ever。　〃Mr。　Armadale　may　believe　her；　and
my　daughter　may　believe　her；〃　thought　the　furious　woman。　〃But　I
know　the　major；　and　she　can't　deceive　_me！_〃

The　nurse　came　in。　〃Prop　me　up；〃　said　Mrs。　Milroy。　〃And　give　me
my　desk。　I　want　to　write。〃

〃You're　excited；〃　replied　the　nurse。　〃You're　not　fit　to　write。〃

〃Give　me　the　desk；〃　reiterated　Mrs。　Milroy。

〃Anything　more？〃　asked　Rachel；　repeating　her　invariable　formula
as　she　placed　the　desk　on　the　bed。

〃Yes。　Come　back　in　half　an　hour。　I　shall　want　you　to　take　a
letter　to　the　great　house。〃

The　nurse's　sardonic　composure　deserted　her　for　once。　〃Mercy　on
us！〃　she　exclaimed；　with　an　accent　of　genuine　surprise。　〃What
next？　You　don't　mean　to　say　you're　going　to　write？〃

〃I　am　going　to　write　to　Mr。　Armadale；〃　interposed　Mrs。　Milroy；
〃and　you　are　going　to　take　the　letter　to　him；　and