armadale-第3节

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but　he　can　hold　nothing　in　his　fingers。　He　can　still　articulate；
but　he　may　wake　speechless　to…morrow　or　next　day。　If　I　give　him　a
week　more　to　live；　I　give　him　what　I　honestly　believe　to　be　the
utmost　length　of　his　span。　At　his　own　request　I　told　him；　as
carefully　and　as　tenderly　as　I　could；　what　I　have　just　told　you。
The　result　was　very　distressing；　the　violence　of　the　patient's
agitation　was　a　violence　which　I　despair　of　describing　to　you。　I
took　the　liberty　of　asking　him　whether　his　affairs　were
unsettled。　Nothing　of　the　sort。　His　will　is　in　the　hands　of　his
executor　in　London；　and　he　leaves　his　wife　and　child　well
provided　for。　My　next　question　succeeded　better；　it　hit　the　mark：
'Have　you　something　on　your　mind　to　do　before　you　die　which　is
not　done　yet？'　He　gave　a　great　gasp　of　relief；　which　said；　as　no
words　could　have　said　it；　Yes。　'Can　I　help　you？'　'Yes。　I　have
something　to　write　that　I　_must_　write；　can　you　make　me　hold　a
pen？'

〃He　might　as　well　have　asked　me　if　I　could　perform　a　miracle。　I
could　only　say　No。　'If　I　dictate　the　words；'　he　went　on；　'can　you
write　what　I　tell　you　to　write？'　Once　more　I　could　only　say　No。　I
understand　a　little　English；　but　I　can　neither　speak　it　nor　write
it。　Mr。　Armadale　understands　French　when　it　is　spoken　（as　I　speak
it　to　him）　slowly；　but　he　cannot　express　himself　in　that
language；　and　of　German　he　is　totally　ignorant。　In　this
difficulty；　I　said；　what　any　one　else　in　my　situation　would　have
said：　'Why　ask　_me？_　there　is　Mrs。　Armadale　at　your　service　in
the　next　room。'　Before　I　could　get　up　from　my　chair　to　fetch　her；
he　stopped　menot　by　words；　but　by　a　look　of　horror　which　fixed
me；　by　main　force　of　astonishment；　in　my　place。　'Surely；'　I　said；
'your　wife　is　the　fittest　person　to　write　for　you　as　you　desire？'
'The　last　person　under　heaven！'　he　answered。　'What！'　I　said；　'you
ask　me；　a　foreigner　and　a　stranger；　to　write　words　at　your
dictation　which　you　keep　a　secret　from　your　wife！'　Conceive　my
astonishment　when　he　answered　me；　without　a　moment's　hesitation；
'Yes！'　I　sat　lost；　I　sat　silent。　'If　_you_　can't　write　English；'
he　said；　'find　somebody　who　can。'　I　tried　to　remonstrate。　He
burst　into　a　dreadful　moaning　crya　dumb　entreaty；　like　the
entreaty　of　a　dog。　'Hush！　hush！'　I　said；　'I　will　find　somebody。'
'To…day！'　he　broke　out；　'before　my　speech　fails　me；　like　my
hand。'　'To…day；　in　an　hour's　time。'　He　shut　his　eyes；　he　quieted
himself　instantly。　'While　I　am　waiting　for　you；'　he　said；　'let　me
see　my　little　boy。'　He　had　shown　no　tenderness　when　he　spoke　of
his　wife；　but　I　saw　the　tears　on　his　cheeks　when　he　asked　for　his
child。　My　profession；　sir；　has　not　made　me　so　hard　a　man　as　you
might　think；　and　my　doctor's　heart　was　as　heavy；　when　I　went　out
to　fetch　the　child；　as　if　I　had　not　been　a　doctor　at　all。　I　am
afraid　you　think　this　rather　weak　on　my　part？〃

The　doctor　looked　appealingly　at　Mr。　Neal。　He　might　as　well　have
looked　at　a　rock　in　the　Black　Forest。　Mr。　Neal　entirely　declined
to　be　drawn　by　any　doctor　in　Christendom　out　of　the　regions　of
plain　fact。

〃Go　on；〃　he　said。　〃I　presume　you　have　not　told　me　all　that　you
have　to　tell　me；　yet？〃

〃Surely　you　understand　my　object　in　coming　here；　now？〃　returned
the　other

〃Your　object　is　plain　enough；　at　last。　You　invite　me　to　connect
myself　blindfold　with　a　matter　which　is　in　the　last　degree
suspicious；　so　far。　I　decline　giving　you　any　answer　until　I　know
more　than　I　know　now。　Did　you　think　it　necessary　to　inform　this
man's　wife　of　what　had　passed　between　you；　and　to　ask　her　for　an
explanation？〃

〃Of　course　I　thought　it　necessary！〃　said　the　doctor；　indignant　at
the　reflection　on　his　humanity　which　the　question　seemed　to
imply。　〃If　ever　I　saw　a　woman　fond　of　her　husband；　and　sorry　for
her　husband；　it　is　this　unhappy　Mrs。　Armadale。　As　soon　as　we　were
left　alone　together；　I　sat　down　by　her　side；　and　I　took　her　hand
in　mine。　Why　not？　I　am　an　ugly　old　man；　and　I　may　allow　myself
such　liberties　as　these！〃

〃Excuse　me；〃　said　the　impenetrable　Scotchman。　〃I　beg　to　suggest
that　you　are　losing　the　thread　of　the　narrative。〃

〃Nothing　more　likely；〃　returned　the　doctor；　recovering　his　good
humor。　〃It　is　in　the　habit　of　my　nation　to　be　perpetually　losing
the　thread；　and　it　is　evidently　in　the　habit　of　yours；　sir；　to　be
perpetually　finding　it。　What　an　example　here　of　the　order　of　the
universe；　and　the　everlasting　fitness　of　things！〃

〃Will　you　oblige　me；　once　for　all；　by　confining　yourself　to　the
facts；〃　persisted　Mr。　Neal；　frowning　impatiently。　〃May　I　inquire；
for　my　own　information；　whether　Mrs。　Armadale　could　tell　you　what
it　is　her　husband　wishes　me　to　write；　and　why　it　is　that　he
refuses　to　let　her　write　for　him？〃

〃There　is　my　thread　foundand　thank　you　for　finding　it！〃　said
the　doctor。　〃You　shall　hear　what　Mrs。　Armadale　had　to　tell　me；　in
Mrs。　Armadale's　own　words。　'The　cause　that　now　shuts　me　out　of
his　confidence；'　she　said；　'is；　I　firmly　believe；　the　same　cause
that　has　always　shut　me　out　of　his　heart。　I　am　the　wife　he　has
wedded；　but　I　am　not　the　woman　he　loves。　I　knew　when　he　married
me　that　another　man　had　won　from　him　the　woman　he　loved。　I
thought　I　could　make　him　forget　her。　I　hoped　when　I　married　him；
I　hoped　again　when　I　bore　him　a　son。　Need　I　tell　you　the　end　of
my　hopesyou　have　seen　it　for　yourself。'　（Wait；　sir；　I　entreat
you！　I　have　not　lost　the　thread　again；　I　am　following　it　inch　by
inch。）　'Is　this　all　you　know？'　I　asked。　'All　I　knew；'　she　said；
'till　a　short　time　since。　It　was　when　we　were　in　Switzerland；　and
when　his　illness　was　nearly　at　its　worst；　that　news　came　to　him
by　accident　of　that　other　woman　who　has　been　the　shadow　and　the
poison　of　my　lifenews　that　she　（like　me）　had　borne　her　husband
a　son。　On　the　instant　of　his　making　that　discoverya　trifling
discovery；　if　ever　there　was　one　yeta　mortal　fear　seized　on
him：　not　for　me；　not　for　himself；　a　fear　for　his　own　child。　The
same　day　（without　a　word　to　me）　he　sent　for　the　doctor。　I　was
mean；　wicked；　what　you　pleaseI　listened　at　the　door。　I　heard
him　say：　_I　have　something　to　tell　my　son；　when　my　son　grows　old
enough　to　understand　me。　Shall　I　live　to　tell　it？_　The　doctor
would　say　nothing　certain。　The　same　night　（still　without　a　word
to　me）　he　locked　himself　into　his　room。　What　would　any　woman；
treated　as　I　was；　have　done　in　my　place？　She　would　have　done　as　I
didshe　would　have　list　ened　again。　I　heard　him　say　to　himself：
_I　shall　not　live　to　tell　it：　I　must；　write　it　before　I　die。_　I
heard　his　pen　scrape；　scrape；　scrape　over　the　paper；　I　heard　him
groaning　and　sobbing　as　he　wrote；　I　implored　him　for　God's　sake
to　let　me　in。　The　cruel　pen　went　scrape；　scrape；　scrape；　the
cruel　pen　was　all　the　answer　he　gave　me。　I　waited　at　the
doorhoursI　don't　know　how　long。　On　a　sudden；　the　pen　stopped；
and　I　heard　no　more。　I　whispered　through　the　keyhole　softly；　I
said　I　was　cold　and　weary　with　waiting；　I　said；　Oh；　my　love；　let
me　in！　Not　even　the　cruel　pen　answered　me　now：　silence　answered
me。　With　all　the　strength　of　my　miserable　hands　I　beat　at　the
door。　The　servants　came　up　and　broke　it　in。　We　were　too　late；　the
harm　was　done。　Over　that　fatal　letter；　the　stroke　had　struck
himover　that　fatal　letter；　we　found　him　paralyzed　as　you　see
him　now。　Those　words　which　he　wants　you　to　write　are　the　words　he
would　have　written　himself　if　the　stroke　had　spared　him　till　the
morning　From　that　time　to　this　there　has　been　a　blank　place　left
in　the　letter；　and　it　is　that　blank　place　which　he　has　just　asked
you　to　fill　up。'In　those　words　Mrs。　Armadale　spoke　to　me；　in
those　words　you　have　the　sum　and　substance　of　all　the　information
I　can　give。　Say；　if　you　please；　sir；　have　I　kept　the　thread　at
last？　Have　I　shown　you　the　necessity　which　brings　me　here　from
your　countryman's　death…bed？〃

〃Thus　far；〃　said　Mr。　Neal；　〃you　merely　show　me　that　you　are
exciting　yourself。　This　is　too　serious　a　matter　to　be　treated　as
you　are　treating　it　now。　You　have　involved　Me　in　the　business；
and　I　insist　on　seeing　my　way　plainly。　Don't　raise　your　hands；
your　hands　are　not　a　part　of　the　question。　If　I　am　to　be
concerned　in　the　completion　of　this　mysterious　letter；　it　is　only
an　act　of　justifiable　prudence　on　my　part　to　inquire　what　the
letter　is　about。　Mrs。　Armadale　appears　to　have　favored　you　with
an　infinite　number　of　domestic　particularsin　return；　I　presume；
for　your　polite　attention　in　taking　her　by　the　hand。　May　I　ask
what　she　could　tell　you　about　her　husband's　letter；　so　far　as　her
husband　has　written　it？〃

〃Mrs。　Armadale　could　tell　me　nothing；〃　replied　the　doctor；　with　a
sudden　formality　in　his　manner；　which　showed　that　his　forbearance
was　at　last　failing　him。　〃Before　she　was　composed　enough　to　think
of　the　letter；　her　husband　had　asked　for　it；　and　had　caused　it　to
be　locked　up　in　his　desk。　She　knows　that　he　has　since；　time　after
time；　tried　to　finish　it；　and　that；　time　after　time；　the　pen　has
dropped　from　his　fingers。　She　knows；　when　all　other　hope　of　his
restoration　was　at　an　end；　that　his　medical　advisers　encouraged
him　to　hope　in　the　famous　waters　of　this　place。　And　last；　she
knows　how　that　hope　has　ended；　for　she　knows　what　I　told　her
husband　this　morning。〃

The　frown　which　h