armadale-第149节

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Midwinter；　who　can　steal　no　time　from　his　newspaper　work　for　his
wife；　can　steal　hours　for　his　friend；　and　can　offer　them
unreservedly　to　my　irresistible　rival；　the　new　yacht。

〃I　shall　write　no　more　to…day。　If　so　lady…like　a　person　as　I　am
could　feel　a　tigerish　tingling　all　over　her　to　the　very　tips　of
her　fingers；　I　should　suspect　myself　of　being　in　that　condition
at　the　present　moment。　But；　with　_my_　manners　and
accomplishments；　the　thing　is；　of　course；　out　of　the　question。　We
all　know　that　a　lady　has　no　passions。


〃October　17th。A　letter　for　Midwinter　this　morning　from　the
slave…ownersI　mean　the　newspaper　people　in　Londonwhich　has
set　him　at　work　again　harder　than　ever。　A　visit　at　luncheon…time
and　another　visit　at　dinner…time　from　Armadale。　Conversation　at
luncheon　about　the　yacht。　Conversation　at　dinner　about　Miss
Milroy。　I　have　been　honored；　in　regard　to　that　young　lady；　by　an
invitation　to　go　with　Armadale　to…morrow　to　the　Toledo；　and　help
him　to　buy　some　presents　for　the　beloved　object。　I　didn't　fly　out
at　himI　only　made　an　excuse。　Can　words　express　the　astonishment
I　feel　at　my　own　patience？　No　words　can　express　it。


〃October　18th。Armadale　came　to　breakfast　this　morning；　by　way
of　catching　Midwinter　before　he　shuts　himself　up　over　his　work。

〃Conversation　the　same　as　yesterday's　conversation　at　lunch。
Armadale　has　made　his　bargain　with　the　agent　for　hiring　the
yacht。　The　agent　（compassionating　his　total　ignorance　of　the
language）　has　helped　him　to　find　an　interpreter；　but　can't　help
him　to　find　a　crew。　The　interpreter　is　civil　and　willing；　but
doesn't　understand　the　sea。　Midwinter's　assistance　is
indispensable；　and　Midwinter　is　requested　（and　consents！）　to　work
harder　than　ever；　so　as　to　make　time　for　helping　his　friend。　When
the　crew　is　found；　the　merits　and　defects　of　the　vessel　are　to　be
tried　by　a　cruise　to　Sicily；　with　Midwinter　on　board　to　give　his
opinion。　Lastly　（in　case　she　should　feel　lonely）；　the　ladies'
cabin　is　most　obligingly　placed　at　the　disposal　of　Midwinter's
wife。　All　this　was　settled　at　the　breakfast…table；　and　it　ended
with　one　of　Armadale's　neatly…turned　compliments；　addressed　to
myself：　'I　mean　to　take　Neelie　sailing　with　me；　when　we　are
married。　And　you　have　such　good　taste；　you　will　be　able　to　tell
me　everything　the　ladies'　cabin　wants　between　that　time　and
this。'

〃If　some　women　bring　such　men　as　this　into　the　world；　ought　other
women　to　allow　them　to　live？　It　is　a　matter　of　opinion。　_I_　think
not。

〃What　maddens　me　is　to　see；　as　I　do　see　plainly；　that　Midwinter
finds　in　Armadale's　company；　and　in　Armadale's　new　yacht；　a
refuge　from　me。　He　is　always　in　better　spirits　when　Armadale　is
here。　He　forgets　me　in　Armadale　almost　as　completely　as　he
forgets　me　in　his　work。　And　I　bear　it！　What　a　pattern　wife；　what
an　excellent　Christian　I　am！


〃October　19th。Nothing　new。　Yesterday　over　again。


〃October　20th。One　piece　of　news。　Midwinter　is　suffering　from
nervous　headache；　and　is　　working　in　spite　of　it；　to　make　time　for
his　holiday　with　his　friend。


〃October　21st。Midwinter　is　worse。　Angry　and　wild　and　unappr
oachable；　after　two　bad　nights；　and　two　uninterrupted　days　at　his
desk。　Under　any　other　circumstances　he　would　take　the　warning　and
leave　off。　But　nothing　warns　him　now。　He　is　still　working　as　hard
as　ever；　for　Armadale's　sake。　How　much　longer　will　my　patience
last？


〃October　22d。Signs；　last　night；　that　Midwinter　is　taxing　his
brains　beyond　what　his　brains　will　bear。　When　he　did　fall　asleep；
he　was　frightfully　restless；　groaning　and　talking　and　grinding
his　teeth。　From　some　of　the　words　I　heard；　he　seemed　at　one　time
to　be　dreaming　of　his　life　when　he　was　a　boy；　roaming　the　country
with　the　dancing　dogs。　At　another　time　he　was　back　again　with
Armadale；　imprisoned　all　night　on　the　wrecked　ship。　Toward　the
early　morning　hours　he　grew　quieter。　I　fell　asleep；　and；　waking
after　a　short　interval；　found　myself　alone。　My　first　glance　round
showed　me　a　light　burning　in　Midwinter's　dressing…room。　I　rose
softly；　and　went　to　look　at　him。

〃He　was　seated　in　the　great；　ugly；　old…fashioned　chair；　which　I
ordered　to　be　removed　into　the　dressing…room　out　of　the　way　when
we　first　came　here。　His　head　lay　back；　and　one　of　his　hands　hung
listlessly　over　the　arm　of　the　chair。　The　other　hand　was　on　his
lap。　I　stole　a　little　nearer；　and　saw　that　exhaustion　had
overpowered　him　while　he　was　either　reading　or　writing；　for　there
were　books；　pens；　ink；　and　paper　on　the　table　before　him。　What
had　he　got　up　to　do　secretly；　at　that　hour　of　the　morning？　I
looked　closer　at　the　papers　on　the　table。　They　were　all　neatly
folded　（as　he　usually　keeps　them）；　with　one　exception；　and　that
exception；　lying　open　on　the　rest；　was　Mr。　Brock's　letter。

〃I　looked　round　at　him　again；　after　making　this　discovery；　and
then　noticed　for　the　first　time　another　written　paper；　lying
under　the　hand　that　rested　on　his　lap。　There　was　no　moving　it
away　without　the　risk　of　waking　him。　Part　of　the　open　manuscript；
however；　was　not　covered　by　his　hand。　I　looked　at　it　to　see　what
he　had　secretly　stolen　away　to　read；　besides　Mr。　Brock's　letter；
and　made　out　enough　to　tell　me　that　it　was　the　Narrative　of
Armadale's　Dream。

〃That　second　discovery　sent　me　back　at　once　to　my　bedwith
something　serious　to　think　of。

〃Traveling　through　France；　on　our　way　to　this　place；　Midwinter's
shyness　was　conquered　for　once；　by　a　very　pleasant　manan　Irish
doctorwhom　we　met　in　the　railway　carriage；　and　who　quite
insisted　on　being　friendly　and　sociable　with　us　all　through　the
day's　journey。　Finding　that　Midwinter　was　devoting　himself　to
literary　pursuits；　our　traveling　companion　warned　him　not　to　pass
too　many　hours　together　at　his　desk。　'Your　face　tells　me　more
than　you　think；'　the　doctor　said：　'If　you　are　ever　tempted　to
overwork　your　brain；　you　will　feel　it　sooner　than　most　men。　When
you　find　your　nerves　playing　you　strange　tricks；　don't　neglect
the　warningdrop　your　pen。'

〃After　my　last　night's　discovery　in　the　dressing…room；　it　looks
as　if　Midwinter's　nerves　were　beginning　already　to　justify　the
doctor's　opinion　of　them。　If　one　of　the　tricks　they　are　playing
him　is　the　trick　of　tormenting　him　again　with　his　old
superstitious　terrors；　there　will　be　a　change　in　our　lives　here
before　long。　I　shall　wait　curiously　to　see　whether　the　conviction
that　we　two　are　destined　to　bring　fatal　danger　to　Armadale　takes
possession　of　Midwinter's　mind　once　more。　If　it　does；　I　know　what
will　happen。　He　will　not　stir　a　step　toward　helping　his　friend　to
find　a　crew　for　the　yacht；　and　he　will　certainly　refuse　to　sail
with　Armadale；　or　to　let　me　sail　with　him；　on　the　trial　cruise。


〃October　23d。Mr。　Brock's　letter　has；　apparently；　not　lost　its
influence　yet。　Midwinter　is　working　again　to…day；　and　is　as
anxious　as　ever　for　the　holiday…time　that　he　is　to　pass　with　his
friend。

〃Two　o'clock。Armadale　here　as　usual；　eager　to　know　when
Midwinter　will　be　at　his　service。　No　definite　answer　to　be　given
to　the　question　yet；　seeing　that　it　all　depends　on　Midwinter's
capacity　to　continue　at　his　desk。　Armadale　sat　down　disappointed；
he　yawned；　and　put　his　great　clumsy　hands　in　his　pockets。　I　took
up　a　book。　The　brute　didn't　understand　that　I　wanted　to　be　left
alone；　he　began　again　on　the　unendurable　subject　of　Miss　Milroy；
and　of　all　the　fine　things　she　was　to　have　when　he　married　her。
Her　own　riding…horse；　her　own　pony…carriage；　her　own　beautiful
little　sitting…room　upstairs　at　the　great　house；　and　so　on。　All
that　I　might　have　had　once　Miss　Milroy　is　to　have　now_if　I　let
her。_


〃Six　o'clock。More　of　the　everlasting　Armadale！　Half　an　hour
since；　Midwinter　came　in　from　his　writing；　giddy　and　exhausted。　I
had　been　pining　all　day　for　a　little　music；　and　I　knew　they　were
giving　'Norma'　at　the　theater　here。　It　struck　me　that　an　hour　or
two　at　the　opera　might　do　Midwinter　good；　as　well　as　me；　and　I
said：　'Why　not　take　a　box　at　the　San　Carlo　to…night？'　He
answered；　in　a　dull；　uninterested　manner；　that　he　was　not　rich
enough　to　take　a　box。　Armadale　was　present；　and　flourished　his
well…filled　purse　in　his　usual　insufferable　way。　'_I'm_　rich
enough；　old　boy；　and　it　comes　to　the　same　thing。'　With　those
words　he　took　up　his　hat；　and　trampled　out　on　his　great
elephant's　feet　to　get　the　box。　I　looked　after　him　from　the
window　as　he　went　down　the　street。　'Your　widow；　with　her　twelve
hundred　a　year；'　I　thought　to　myself；　'might　take　a　box　at　the
San　Carlo　whenever　she　pleased；　without　being　beholden　to
anybody。'　The　empty…headed　wretch　whistled　as　he　went　his　way　to
the　theater；　and　tossed　his　loose　silver　magnificently　to　every
beggar　who　ran　after　him。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　*　*　*　*

〃Midnight。I　am　alone　again　at　last。　Have　I　nerve　enough　to
write　the　history　of　this　terrible　evening；　just　as　it　has
passed？　I　have　nerve　enough；　at　any　rate；　to　turn　to　a　new　leaf；
and　try。


CHAPTER　II。

THE　DIARY　CONTINUED。


〃WE　went　to　the　San　Carlo。　Armadale's　stupidity　showed　itself；
even　in　such　a　simple　matter　as　taking　a　box。　He　had　confounded
an　opera　with　a　play；　and　had　chosen　a　box　close　to　the　stage；
with　the　idea　that　one's　chief　object　at　a　mu