the great hoggarty diamond(大钻石)-第8节
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up my engagement； and shall have sincere pleasure in cutting mutton with
him。 What's your hour； sir？〃
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He didn't condescend to answer； and for me I did not care； for； you see；
I did not intend to dine with the man； but only to give him a lesson of
manners。 For though I am but a poor fellow； and hear people cry out
how vulgar it is to eat peas with a knife； or ask three times for cheese； and
such like points of ceremony； there's something； I think； much more vulgar
than all this； and that is； insolence to one's inferiors。 I hate the chap that
uses it； as I scorn him of humble rank that affects to be of the fashion； and
so I determined to let Mr。 Preston know a piece of my mind。
When the carriage drove up to his house； I handed out the ladies as
politely as possible； and walked into the hall； and then； taking hold of Mr。
Preston's button at the door； I said； before the ladies and the two big
servantsupon my word I did〃Sir；〃 says I； 〃this kind old lady asked me
into her carriage； and I rode in it to please her； not myself。 When you
came up and asked who the devil I was； I thought you might have put the
question in a more polite manner； but it wasn't my business to speak。
When； by way of a joke； you invited me to dinner； I thought I would
answer in a joke too； and here I am。 But don't be frightened； I'm not a…
going to dine with you： only if you play the same joke upon other
parties on some of the chaps in our office； for exampleI recommend
you to have a care； or they will TAKE YOU AT YOUR WORD。〃
〃Is that all； sir？〃 says Mr。 Preston； still in a rage。 〃If you have done；
will you leave this house； or shall my servants turn you out？ Turn out
this fellow！ do you hear me？〃 and he broke away from me； and flung into
his study in a rage。
〃He's an ojous horrid monsther of a man； that husband of yours！〃 said
Lady Drum； seizing hold of her elder grand…daughter's arm； 〃and I hate
him； and so come away； for the dinner'll be getting cold：〃 and she was for
hurrying away Lady Jane without more ado。 But that kind lady； coming
forward； looking very pale and trembling； said； 〃Mr。 Titmarsh； I do hope
you'll not be angrythat is； that you'll forget what has happened； for；
believe me； it has given me very great〃
Very great what； I never could say； for here the poor thing's eyes filled
with tears； and Lady Drum crying out 〃Tut； tut！ none of this nonsense；〃
pulled her away by the sleeve； and went upstairs。 But little Lady Fanny
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walked boldly up to me； and held me out her little hand； and gave mine
such a squeeze and said； 〃Good…bye； my dear Mr。 Titmarsh；〃 so very
kindly； that I'm blest if I did not blush up to the ears； and all the blood in
my body began to tingle。
So； when she was gone； I clapped my hat on my head； and walked out
of the hall…door； feeling as proud as a peacock and as brave as a lion； and
all I wished for was that one of those saucy grinning footmen should say
or do something to me that was the least uncivil； so that I might have the
pleasure of knocking him down； with my best compliments to his master。
But neither of them did me any such favour！ and I went away and dined at
home off boiled mutton and turnips with Gus Hoskins quite peacefully。
I did not think it was proper to tell Gus （who； between ourselves； is
rather curious； and inclined to tittle…tattle） all the particulars of the family
quarrel of which I had been the cause and witness； and so just said that the
old lady（〃They were the Drum arms；〃 says Gus； 〃for I went and looked
them out that minute in the 'Peerage'〃）that the old lady turned out to be a
cousin of mine； and that she had taken me to drive in the Park。 Next day
we went to the office as usual； when you may be sure that Hoskins told
everything of what had happened； and a great deal more； and somehow；
though I did not pretend to care sixpence about the matter； I must confess
that I WAS rather pleased that the gents in our office should hear of a part
of my adventure。
But fancy my surprise； on coming home in the evening； to find Mrs。
Stokes the landlady； Miss Selina Stokes her daughter； and Master Bob
Stokes her son （an idle young vagabond that was always playing marbles
on St。 Bride's steps and in Salisbury Square）；when I found them all
bustling and tumbling up the steps before me to our rooms on the second
floor； and there； on the table； between our two flutes on one side； my
album； Gus's 〃Don Juan〃 and 〃Peerage〃 on the other； I saw as follows：…
1。 A basket of great red peaches； looking like the cheeks of my dear
Mary Smith。
2。 A ditto of large； fat； luscious； heavy…looking grapes。
3。 An enormous piece of raw mutton； as I thought it was； but Mrs。
Stokes said it was the primest haunch of venison that ever she saw。
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And three cardsviz。
DOWAGER COUNTESS OF DRUM。 LADY FANNY RAKES。
MR。 PRESTON。 LADY JANE PRESTON。
EARL OF TIPTOFF。
〃Sich a carriage！〃 says Mrs。 Stokes （for that was the way the poor
thing spoke）。 〃Sich a carriageall over coronites！ sich liveries… …two
great footmen； with red whiskers and yellow…plush small… clothes； and
inside； a very old lady in a white poke bonnet； and a young one with a
great Leghorn hat and blue ribands； and a great tall pale gentleman with a
tuft on his chin。
〃'Pray； madam； does Mr。 Titmarsh live here？' says the young lady； with
her clear voice。
〃'Yes； my Lady；' says I； 'but he's at the officethe West Diddlesex Fire
and Life Office； Cornhill。'
〃'Charles； get out the things；' says the gentleman； quite solemn。
〃'Yes； my Lord；' says Charles； and brings me out the haunch in a
newspaper； and on the chany dish as you see it； and the two baskets of
fruit besides。
〃'Have the kindness； madam；' says my Lord； 'to take these things to Mr。
Titmarsh's rooms； with our； with Lady Jane Preston's compliments； and
request his acceptance of them；' and then he pulled out the cards on your
table； and this letter； sealed with his Lordship's own crown。〃
And herewith Mrs。 Stokes gave me a letter； which my wife keeps to
this day； by the way； and which runs thus：…
〃The Earl of Tiptoff has been commissioned by Lady Jane Preston to
express her sincere regret and disappointment that she was not able
yesterday to enjoy the pleasure of Mr。 Titmarsh's company。 Lady Jane is
about to leave town immediately： she will therefore be unable to receive
her friends in Whitehall Place this season。 But Lord Tiptoff trusts that
Mr。 Titmarsh will have the kindness to accept some of the produce of her
Ladyship's garden and park； with which； perhaps； he will entertain some
of those friends in whose favour he knows so well how to speak。〃
Along with this was a little note； containing the words 〃Lady Drum at
home。 Friday evening； June 17。〃 And all this came to me because my
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aunt Hoggarty had given me a diamond…pin！
I did not send back the venison： as why should I？ Gus was for
sending it at once to Brough； our director； and the grapes and peaches to
my aunt in Somersetshire。
〃But no；〃 says I； 〃we'll ask Bob Swinney and half…a…dozen more of our
gents； and we'll have a merry night of it on Saturday。〃 And a merry night
we had too； and as we had no wine in the cupboard； we had plenty of ale；
and gin…punch afterwards。 And Gus sat at the foot of the table； and I at
the head； and we sang songs； both comic and sentimental； and drank toasts；
and I made a speech that there is no possibility of mentioning here；
because； entre nous； I had quite forgotten in the morning e
