the great hoggarty diamond(大钻石)-第11节
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Roundhand himself； and Gutch； nineteenth clerk； son of the brother of
an East Indian director； were the only two of our gents invited； as we knew
very well： for they had received their invitations many weeks before；
and bragged about them not a little。 But two days before the ball； and
after my diamond…pin had had its due effect upon the gents at the office；
Abednego； who had been in the directors' room； came to my desk with a
great smirk； and said； 〃Tit； Mr。 B。 says that he expects you will come
down with Roundhand to the ball on Thursday。〃 I thought Moses was
joking；at any rate； that Mr。 B。's message was a queer one； for people
don't usually send invitations in that abrupt peremptory sort of way； but；
sure enough； he presently came down himself and confirmed it； saying； as
he was going out of the office； 〃Mr。 Titmarsh； you will come down on
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Thursday to Mrs。 Brough's party； where you will see some relations of
yours。〃
〃West End again！〃 says that Gus Hoskins； and accordingly down I
went； taking a place in a cab which Roundhand hired for himself； Gutch；
and me； and for which he very generously paid eight shillings。
There is no use to describe the grand gala； nor the number of lamps in
the lodge and in the garden； nor the crowd of carriages that came in at the
gates； nor the troops of curious people outside； nor the ices； fiddlers；
wreaths of flowers； and cold supper within。 The whole description was
beautifully given in a fashionable paper； by a reporter who observed the
same from the 〃Yellow Lion〃 over the way； and told it in his journal in the
most accurate manner； getting an account of the dresses of the great
people from their footmen and coachmen； when they came to the alehouse
for their porter。 As for the names of the guests； they； you may be sure；
found their way to the same newspaper： and a great laugh was had at my
expense； because among the titles of the great people mentioned my name
appeared in the list of the 〃Honourables。〃 Next day； Brough advertised
〃a hundred and fifty guineas reward for an emerald necklace lost at the
party of John Brough； Esq。； at Fulham；〃 though some of our people said
that no such thing was lost at all； and that Brough only wanted to advertise
the magnificence of his society； but this doubt was raised by persons not
invited； and envious no doubt。
Well； I wore my diamond； as you may imagine； and rigged myself in
my best clothes； viz。 my blue coat and brass buttons before mentioned；
nankeen trousers and silk stockings； a white waistcoat； and a pair of white
gloves bought for the occasion。 But my coat was of country make； very
high in the waist and short in the sleeves； and I suppose must have looked
rather odd to some of the great people assembled； for they stared at me a
great deal； and a whole crowd formed to see me dancewhich I did to the
best of my power； performing all the steps accurately and with great
agility； as I had been taught by our dancing…master in the country。
And with whom do you think I had the honour to dance？ With no
less a person than Lady Jane Preston； who； it appears； had not gone out of
town； and who shook me most kindly by the hand when she saw me； and
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THE GREAT HOGGARTY DIAMOND
asked me to dance with her。 We had my Lord Tiptoff and Lady Fanny
Rakes for our vis…a…vis。
You should have seen how the people crowded to look at us； and
admired my dancing too； for I cut the very best of capers； quite different to
the rest of the gents （my Lord among the number）； who walked through
the quadrille as if they thought it a trouble； and stared at my activity with
all their might。 But when I have a dance I like to enjoy myself： and
Mary Smith often said I was the very best partner at our assemblies。
While we were dancing； I told Lady Jane how Roundhand； Gutch； and I；
had come down three in a cab； besides the driver； and my account of our
adventures made her Ladyship laugh； I warrant you。 Lucky it was for me
that I didn't go back in the same vehicle； for the driver went and
intoxicated himself at the 〃Yellow Lion；〃 threw out Gutch and our head
clerk as he was driving them back； and actually fought Gutch afterwards
and blacked his eye； because he said that Gutch's red waistcoat frightened
the horse。
Lady Jane； however； spared me such an uncomfortable ride home：
for she said she had a fourth place in her carriage； and asked me if I would
accept it； and positively； at two o'clock in the morning； there was I； after
setting the ladies and my Lord down； driven to Salisbury Square in a great
thundering carriage； with flaming lamps and two tall footmen； who nearly
knocked the door and the whole little street down with the noise they
made at the rapper。 You should have seen Gus's head peeping out of
window in his white nightcap！ He kept me up the whole night telling
him about the ball； and the great people I had seen there； and next day he
told at the office my stories； with his own usual embroideries upon them。
〃Mr。 Titmarsh；〃 said Lady Fanny； laughing to me； 〃who is that great
fat curious man； the master of the house？ Do you know he asked me if
you were not related to us？ and I said； 'Oh； yes； you were。'〃
〃Fanny！〃 says Lady Jane。
〃Well；〃 answered the other； 〃did not Grandmamma say Mr。 Titmarsh
was her cousin？〃
〃But you know that Grandmamma's memory is not very good。〃
〃Indeed； you're wrong； Lady Jane；〃 says my Lord； 〃I think it's
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prodigious。〃
〃Yes； but not verynot very accurate。〃
〃No； my Lady；〃 says I； 〃for her Ladyship； the Countess of Drum； said；
if you remember； that my friend Gus Hoskins〃
〃Whose cause you supported so bravely；〃 cries Lady Fanny。
〃That my friend Gus is her Ladyship's cousin too； which cannot be；
for I know all his family： they live in Skinner Street and St。 Mary Axe；
and are notnot quite so RESPECTABLE as MY relatives。〃
At this they all began to laugh； and my Lord said； rather haughtily …
〃Depend upon it； Mr。 Titmarsh； that Lady Drum is no more your
cousin than she is the cousin of your friend Mr。 Hoskinson。〃
〃Hoskins； my Lordand so I told Gus； but you see he is very fond of
me； and WILL have it that I am related to Lady D。： and say what I will
to the contrary； tells the story everywhere。 Though to be sure；〃 added I
with a laugh； 〃it has gained me no small good in my time。〃 So I
described to the party our dinner at Mrs。 Roundhand's； which all came
from my diamond…pin； and my reputation as a connection of the
aristocracy。 Then I thanked Lady Jane handsomely for her magnificent
present of fruit and venison； and told her that it had entertained a great
number of kind friends of mine； who had drunk her Ladyship's health with
the greatest gratitude。
〃A HAUNCH OF VENISON！〃 cried Lady Jane； quite astonished；
〃indeed； Mr。 Titmarsh； I am quite at a loss to understand you。〃
As we passed a gas…lamp； I saw Lady Fanny laughing as usual； and
turning her great arch sparkling black eyes at Lord Tiptoff。
〃Why； Lady Jane；〃 said he； 〃if the truth must out； the great haunch of
venison trick was one of this young lady's performing。 You must know
that I had received the above…named haunch from Lord Guttlebury's park：
and knowing that Preston is not averse to Guttlebury venison； was telling
Lady Drum （in whose carriage I had a seat that day； as Mr。 Titmarsh was
not in the way）； that I intended the haunch for your husband's table。
Whereupon my Lady Fanny； clapping together her little hands； declared
and vowed that the venison should not go to Preston； but shoul
