a treatise on parents and children(父母与子女专题研究)-第19节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
conspicuously superior in moral courage； and though they did not
distinguish themselves at cricket and football； they had quite as much
71
… Page 72…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
physical hardihood as any civilized man needs。 But it is to be observed
that Ruskin's parents were wise people who gave John a full share in their
own life； and put up with his presence both at home and abroad when they
must sometimes have been very weary of him； and Mill； as it happens；
was deliberately educated to challenge all the most sacred institutions of
his country。 The households they were brought up in were no more
average households than a Montessori school is an average school。
72
… Page 73…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The Comings of Age of Children
All this inculcated adult docility； which wrecks every civilization as it
is wrecking ours； is inhuman and unnatural。 We must reconsider our
institution of the Coming of Age； which is too late for some purposes； and
too early for others。 There should be a series of Coming of Ages for
every individual。 The mammals have their first coming of age when they
are weaned； and it is noteworthy that this rather cruel and selfish operation
on the part of the parent has to be performed resolutely； with claws and
teeth； for your little mammal does not want to be weaned； and yields only
to a pretty rough assertion of the right of the parent to be relieved of the
child as soon as the child is old enough to bear the separation。 The same
thing occurs with children： they hang on to the mother's apron…string and
the father's coat tails as long as they can； often baffling those sensitive
parents who know that children should think for themselves and fend for
themselves； but are too kind to throw them on their own resources with the
ferocity of the domestic cat。 The child should have its first coming of
age when it is weaned； another when it can talk； another when it can walk；
another when it can dress itself without assistance； and when it can read；
write； count money； and pass an examination in going a simple errand
involving a purchase and a journey by rail or other public method of
locomotion； it should have quite a majority。 At present the children of
laborers are soon mobile and able to shift for themselves； whereas it is
possible to find grown…up women in the rich classes who are actually
afraid to take a walk in the streets unattended and unprotected。 It is true
that this is a superstition from the time when a retinue was part of the state
of persons of quality； and the unattended person was supposed to be a
common person of no quality； earning a living； but this has now become
so absurd that children and young women are no longer told why they are
forbidden to go about alone； and have to be persuaded that the streets are
dangerous places； which of course they are； but people who are not
educated to live dangerously have only half a life； and are more likely to
die miserably after all than those who have taken all the common risks of
freedom from their childhood onward as matters of course。
73
… Page 74…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
The Conflict of Wills The world wags in spite of its schools and its
families because both schools and families are mostly very largely
anarchic： parents and schoolmasters are good…natured or weak or lazy；
and children are docile and affectionate and very shortwinded in their fits
of naughtiness； and so most families slummock along and muddle through
until the children cease to be children。 In the few cases when the parties
are energetic and determined； the child is crushed or the parent is reduced
to a cipher； as the case may be。 When the opposed forces are neither of
them strong enough to annihilate the other； there is serious trouble： that
is how we get those feuds between parent and child which recur to our
memory so ironically when we hear people sentimentalizing about natural
affection。 We even get tragedies； for there is nothing so tragic to
contemplate or so devastating to suffer as the oppression of will without
conscience； and the whole tendency of our family and school system is to
set the will of the parent and the school despot above conscience as
something that must be deferred to abjectly and absolutely for its own
sake。
The strongest； fiercest force in nature is human will。 It is the highest
organization we know of the will that has created the whole universe。
Now all honest civilization； religion； law； and convention is an attempt to
keep this force within beneficent bounds。 What corrupts civilization；
religion； law； and convention （and they are at present pretty nearly as
corrupt as they dare） is the constant attempts made by the wills of
individuals and classes to thwart the wills and enslave the powers of other
individuals and classes。 The powers of the parent and the schoolmaster；
and of their public analogues the lawgiver and the judge； become
instruments of tyranny in the hands of those who are too narrow…minded to
understand law and exercise judgment； and in their hands （with us they
mostly fall into such hands） law becomes tyranny。 And what is a tyrant？
Quite simply a person who says to another person； young or old； 〃You
shall do as I tell you； you shall make what I want； you shall profess my
creed； you shall have no will of your own； and your powers shall be at the
disposal of my will。〃 It has come to this at last： that the phrase 〃she has
74
… Page 75…
A TREATISE ON PARENTS AND CHILDREN
a will of her own；〃 or 〃he has a will of his own〃 has come to denote a
person of exceptional obstinacy and self…assertion。 And even persons of
good natural disposition； if brought up to expect such deference； are
roused to unreasoning fury； and sometimes to the commission of atrocious
crimes； by the slightest challenge to their authority。 Thus a laborer may
be dirty； drunken； untruthful； slothful； untrustworthy in every way without
exhausting the indulgence of the country house。 But let him dare to be
〃disrespectful〃 and he is a lost man； though he be the cleanest； soberest；
most diligent； most veracious； most trustworthy man in the county。
Dickens's instinct for detecting social cankers never served him better than
when he shewed us Mrs Heep teaching her son to 〃be umble；〃 knowing
that if he carried out that precept he might be pretty well anything else he
liked。 The maintenance of deference to our wills becomes a mania which
will carry the best of us to any extremity。 We will allow a village of
Egyptian fellaheen or Indian tribesmen to live the lowest life they please
among themselves without molestation； but let one of them slay an
Englishman or even strike him on the strongest provocation； and
straightway we go stark mad； burning and destroying； shooting and
shelling； flogging and hanging； if only such survivors as we may leave are
thoroughly cowed in the presence of a man with a white face。 In the
committee room of a local council or city corporation； the humblest
employees of the committee find defenders if they complain of harsh
treatment。 Gratuities are voted； indulgences and holidays are pleaded for；
delinquencies are excused in the most sentimental manner provided only
the employee； however patent a hypocrite or incorrigible a slacker； is hat
in hand。 But let the most obvious measure of justice be demanded by the
secretary of a Trade
