resurrection(复活)-第40节

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〃What's　the　use　of　that？　Forgive；　forgive；　where's　the　good　of〃

〃To　atone　for　my　sin；　not　by　mere　words；　but　in　deed。　I　have　made
up　my　mind　to　marry　you。〃

An　expression　of　fear　suddenly　came　over　her　face。　Her　squinting
eyes　remained　fixed　on　him；　and　yet　seemed　not　to　be　looking　at
him。

〃What's　that　for？〃　she　said；　with　an　angry　frown。

〃I　feel　that　it　is　my　duty　before　God　to　do　it。〃

〃What　God　have　you　found　now？　You　are　not　saying　what　you　ought
to。　God；　indeed！　What　God？　You　ought　to　have　remembered　God
then；〃　she　said；　and　stopped　with　her　mouth　open。　It　was　only　now
that　Nekhludoff　noticed　that　her　breath　smelled　of　spirits；　and
that　he　understood　the　cause　of　her　excitement。

〃Try　and　be　calm；〃　he　said。

〃Why　should　I　be　calm？〃　she　began；　quickly；　flushing　scarlet。　〃I
am　a　convict；　and　you　are　a　gentleman　and　a　prince。　There's　no
need　for　you　to　soil　yourself　by　touching　me。　You　go　to　your
princesses；　my　price　is　a　ten…rouble　note。〃

〃However　cruelly　you　may　speak；　you　cannot　express　what　I　myself
am　feeling；〃　he　said；　trembling　all　over；　〃you　cannot　imagine　to
what　extent　I　feel　myself　guilty　towards　you。

〃Feel　yourself　guilty？〃　she　said；　angrily　mimicking　him。　〃You　did
not　feel　so　then；　but　threw　me　100　roubles。　That's　your　price。〃

〃I　know；　I　know；　but　what　is　to　be　done　now？〃　said　Nekhludoff。　〃I
have　decided　not　to　leave　you；　and　what　I　have　said　I　shall　do。〃

〃And　I　say　you　sha'n't；〃　she　said；　and　laughed　aloud。

〃Katusha〃　he　said；　touching　her　hand。

〃You　go　away。　I　am　a　convict　and　you　a　prince；　and　you've　no
business　here；〃　she　cried；　pulling　away　her　hand；　her　whole
appearance　transformed　by　her　wrath。　〃You've　got　pleasure　out　of
me　in　this　life；　and　want　to　save　yourself　through　me　in　the　life
to　come。　You　are　disgusting　to　meyour　spectacles　and　the　whole
of　your　dirty　fat　mug。　Go；　go！〃　she　screamed；　starting　to　her
feet。

The　jailer　came　up　to　them。

〃What　are　you　kicking　up　this　row　for？'　That　won't〃

〃Let　her　alone；　please；〃　said　Nekhludoff。

〃She　must　not　forget　herself；〃　said　the　jailer。　〃Please　wait　a
little；〃　said　Nekhludoff；　and　the　jailer　returned　to　the　window。

Maslova　sat　down　again；　dropping　her　eyes　and　firmly　clasping　her
small　hands。

Nekhludoff　stooped　over　her；　not　knowing　what　to　do。

〃You　do　not　believe　me？〃　he　said。

〃That　you　mean　to　marry　me？　It　will　never　be。　I'll　rather　hang
myself。　So　there！〃

〃Well；　still　I　shall　go　on　serving　you。〃

〃That's　your　affair；　only　I　don't　want　anything　from　you。　I　am
telling　you　the　plain　truth；〃　she　said。　〃Oh；　why　did　I　not　die
then？〃　she　added；　and　began　to　cry　piteously。

Nekhludoff　could　not　speak；　her　tears　infected　him。

She　lifted　her　eyes；　looked　at　him　in　surprise；　and　began　to　wipe
her　tears　with　her　kerchief。

The　jailer　came　up　again　and　reminded　them　that　it　was　time　to
part。

Maslova　rose。

〃You　are　excited。　If　it　is　possible；　I　shall　come　again　tomorrow；
you　think　it　over；〃　said　Nekhludoff。

She　gave　him　no　answer　and；　without　looking　up；　followed　the
jailer　out　of　the　room。

〃Well；　lass；　you'll　have　rare　times　now；〃　Korableva　said；　when
Maslova　returned　to　the　cell。　〃Seems　he's　mighty　sweet　on　you；
make　the　most　of　it　while　he's　after　you。　He'll　help　you　out。
Rich　people　can　do　anything。〃

〃Yes；　that's　so；〃　remarked　the　watchman's　wife；　with　her　musical
voice。　〃When　a　poor　man　thinks　of　getting　married；　there's　many　a
slip　'twixt　the　cup　and　the　lip；　but　a　rich　man　need　only　make　up
his　mind　and　it's　done。　We　knew　a　toff　like　that　duckie。　What
d'you　think　he　did？〃

〃Well；　have　you　spoken　about　my　affairs？〃　the　old　woman　asked。

But　Maslova　gave　her　fellow…prisoners　no　answer；　she　lay　down　on
the　shelf　bedstead；　her　squinting　eyes　fixed　on　a　corner　of　the
room；　and　lay　there　until　the　evening。

A　painful　struggle　went　on　in　her　soul。　What　Nekhludoff　had　told
her　called　up　the　memory　of　that　world　in　which　she　had　suffered
and　which　she　had　left　without　having　understood；　hating　it。　She
now　feared　to　wake　from　the　trance　in　which　she　was　living。　Not
having　arrived　at　any　conclusion　when　evening　came；　she　again
bought　some　vodka　and　drank　with　her　companions。


CHAPTER　XLIX。

VERA　DOUKHOVA。

〃So　this　is　what　it　means；　this；〃　thought　Nekhludoff　as　he　left
the　prison；　only　now　fully　understanding　his　crime。　If　he　had　not
tried　to　expiate　his　guilt　he　would　never　have　found　out　how
great　his　crime　was。　Nor　was　this　all；　she；　too；　would　never　have
felt　the　whole　horror　of　what　had　been　done　to　her。　He　only　now
saw　what　he　had　done　to　the　soul　of　this　woman；　only　now　she　saw
and　understood　what　had　been　done　to　her。

Up　to　this　time　Nekhludoff　had　played　with　a　sensation　of
self…admiration；　had　admired　his　own　remorse；　now　he　was　simply
filled　with　horror。　He　knew　he　could　not　throw　her　up　now；　and
yet　he　could　not　imagine　what　would　come　of　their　relations　to
one　another。

Just　as　he　was　going　out；　a　jailer；　with　a　disagreeable；
insinuating　countenance；　and　a　cross　and　medals　on　his　breast；
came　up　and　handed　him　a　note　with　an　air　of　mystery。

〃Here　is　a　note　from　a　certain　person；　your　honour；〃　he　said　to
Nekhludoff　as　he　gave　him　the　envelope。

〃What　person？〃

〃You　will　know　when　you　read　it。　A　political　prisoner。　I　am　in
that　ward；　so　she　asked　me；　and　though　it　is　against　the　rules；
still　feelings　of　humanity〃　The　jailer　spoke　in　an　unnatural
manner。

Nekhludoff　was　surprised　that　a　jailer　of　the　ward　where
political　prisoners　were　kept　should　pass　notes　inside　the　very
prison　walls；　and　almost　within　sight　of　every　one；　he　did　not
then　know　that　this　was　both　a　jailer　and　a　spy。　However；　he　took
the　note　and　read　it　on　coming　out　of　the　prison。

The　note　was　written　in　a　bold　hand；　and　ran　as　follows：　Having
heard　that　you　visit　the　prison；　and　are　interested　in　the　case
of　a　criminal　prisoner；　the　desire　of　seeing　you　arose　in　me。　Ask
for　a　permission　to　see　me。　I　can　give　you　a　good　deal　of
information　concerning　your　protegee；　and　also　our　group。Yours
gratefully；　VERA　DOUKHOVA。〃

Vera　Doukhova　had　been　a　school…teacher　in　an　out…of…the…way
village　of　the　Novgorod　Government；　where　Nekhludoff　and　some
friends　of　his　had　once　put　up　while　bear　hunting。　Nekhludoff
gladly　and　vividly　recalled　those　old　days；　and　his　acquaintance
with　Doukhova。　It　was　just　before　Lent；　in　an　isolated　spot；　40
miles　from　the　railway。　The　hunt　had　been　successful；　two　bears
had　been　killed；　and　the　company　were　having　dinner　before
starting　on　their　return　journey；　when　the　master　of　the　hut
where　they　were　putting　up　came　in　to　say　that　the　deacon's
daughter　wanted　to　speak　to　Prince　Nekhludoff。　〃Is　she　pretty？〃
some　one　asked。　〃None　of　that；　please；〃　Nekhludoff　said；　and　rose
with　a　serious　look　on　his　face。　Wiping　his　mouth；　and　wondering
what　the　deacon's　daughter　might　want　of　him；　he　went　into　the
host's　private　hut。

There　he　found　a　girl　with　a　felt　hat　and　a　warm　cloak　ona
sinewy；　ugly　girl；　only　her　eyes　with　their　arched　brows　were
beautiful。

〃Here；　miss；　speak　to　him；〃　said　the　old　housewife；　〃this　is　the
prince　himself。　I　shall　go　out　meanwhile。〃

〃In　what　way　can　I　be　of　service　to　you？〃　Nekhludoff　asked。

〃III　see　you　are　throwing　away　your　money　on　such
nonsenseon　hunting；〃　began　the　girl；　in　great　confusion。　〃I
knowI　only　want　one　thingto　be　of　use　to　the　people；　and　I
can　do　nothing　because　I　know　nothing〃　Her　eyes　were　so
truthful；　so　kind；　and　her　expression　of　resoluteness　and　yet
bashfulness　was　so　touching；　that　Nekhludoff；　as　it　often
happened　to　him；　suddenly　felt　as　if　he　were　in　her　position；
understood；　and　sympathised。

〃What　can　I　do；　then？〃

〃I　am　a　teacher；　but　should　like　to　follow　a　course　of　study；　and
I　am　not　allowed　to　do　so。　That　is；　not　that　I　am　not　allowed　to；
they'd　allow　me　to；　but　I　have　not　got　the　means。　Give　them　to
me；　and　when　I　have　finished　the　course　I　shall　repay　you。　I　am
thinking　the　rich　kill　bears　and　give　the　peasants　drink；　all
this　is　bad。　Why　should　they　not　do　good？　I　only　want　80　roubles。
But　if　you　don't　wish　to；　never　mind；〃　she　added；　gravely。

〃On　the　contrary；　I　am　very　grateful　to　you　for　this　opportunity。
。　。　I　will　bring　it　at　once；〃　said　Nekhludoff。

He　went　out　into　the　passage；　and　there　met　one　of　his　comrades；
who　had　been　overhearing　his　conversation。　Paying　no　heed　to　his
chaffing；　Nekhludoff　got　the　money　out　of　his　bag　and　took　it　to
her。

〃Oh；　please；　do　not　thank　me；　it　is　I　who　should　thank　you；〃　he
said。

It　was　pleasant　to　remember　all　this　now；　pleasant　to　remember
that　he　had　nearly　had　a　quarrel　with　an　officer　who　tried　to
make　an　objectionable　joke　of　it；　and　how　another　of　his　comrades
had　taken　his　part；　which　led　to　a　closer　friendship　between
them。　How　successful　the　whole　of　that　hunting　expedition　had
been；　and　how　happy　he　had　felt　when　returning　to　the　railway
station　that　night。　The　line　of　sledges；　the　horses　in　tandem；
glide　quickly　along　the　narrow　road　that　lies　through　the　forest；
now　between　high　trees；　now　between　low　firs　weighed　down　by　the
snow；　caked　in　heavy　lumps　on　their　branches。　A　red　light　flashes
in　the　dark；　some　one　lights　an　a