resurrection(复活)-第14节

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demanding　to　be　set　free；　but　he　thought　it　was　only　his
stupidity　and　that　he　ought　to　behave　as　every　one　else　did。　He
caught　her　up　and　kissed　her　on　the　neck。

This　kiss　was　very　different　from　that　first　thoughtless　kiss
behind　the　lilac　bush；　and　very　different　to　the　kiss　this
morning　in　the　churchyard。　This　was　a　dreadful　kiss；　and　she　felt
it。

〃Oh；　what　are　you　doing？〃　she　cried；　in　a　tone　as　if　he　had
irreparably　broken　something　of　priceless　value；　and　ran　quickly
away。

He　came　into　the　dining…room。　His　aunts；　elegantly　dressed；　their
family　doctor；　and　a　neighbour　were　already　there。　Everything
seemed　so　very　ordinary；　but　in　Nekhludoff　a　storm　was　raging。　He
understood　nothing　of　what　was　being　said　and　gave　wrong　answers；
thinking　only　of　Katusha。　The　sound　of　her　steps　in　the　passage
brought　back　the　thrill　of　that　last　kiss　and　he　could　think　of
nothing　else。　When　she　came　into　the　room　he；　without　looking
round；　felt　her　presence　with　his　whole　being　and　had　to　force
himself　not　to　look　at　her。

After　dinner　he　at　once　went　into　his　bedroom　and　for　a　long　time
walked　up　and　down　in　great　excitement；　listening　to　every　sound
in　the　house　and　expecting　to　hear　her　steps。　The　animal　man
inside　him　had　now　not　only　lifted　its　head；　but　had　succeeded　in
trampling　under　foot　the　spiritual　man　of　the　days　of　his　first
visit；　and　even　of　that　every　morning。　That　dreadful　animal　man
alone　now　ruled　over　him。

Though　he　was　watching　for　her　all　day　he　could　not　manage　to
meet　her　alone。　She　was　probably　trying　to　evade　him。　In　the
evening；　however；　she　was　obliged　to　go　into　the　room　next　to
his。　The　doctor　had　been　asked　to　stay　the　night；　and　she　had　to
make　his　bed。　When　he　heard　her　go　in　Nekhludoff　followed　her；
treading　softly　and　holding　his　breath　as　if　he　were　going　to
commit　a　crime。

She　was　putting　a　clean　pillow…case　on　the　pillow；　holding　it　by
two　of　its　corners　with　her　arms　inside　the　pillow…case。　She
turned　round　and　smiled；　not　a　happy；　joyful　smile　as　before；　but
in　a　frightened；　piteous　way。　The　smile　seemed　to　tell　him　that
what　he　was　doing　was　wrong。　He　stopped　for　a　moment。　There　was
still　the　possibility　of　a　struggle。　The　voice　of　his　real　love
for　her；　though　feebly；　was　still　speaking　of　her；　her　feelings；
her　life。　Another　voice　was　saying；　〃Take　care　I　don't　let　the
opportunity　for　your　own　happiness；　your　own　enjoyment；　slip　by！〃
And　this　second　voice　completely　stifled　the　first。　He　went　up　to
her　with　determination　and　a　terrible；　ungovernable　animal
passion　took　possession　of　him。

With　his　arm　round　he　made　her　sit　down　on　the　bed；　and　feeling
that　there　was　something　more　to　be　done　he　sat　down　beside　her。

〃Dmitri　Ivanovitch；　dear！　please　let　me　go；〃　she　said；　with　a
piteous　voice。　〃Matrona　Pavlovna　is　coming；〃　she　cried；　tearing
herself　away。　Some　one　was　really　coming　to　the　door。

〃Well；　then；　I'll　come　to　you　in　the　night；〃　he　whispered。
〃You'll　be　alone？〃

〃What　are　you　thinking　of？　On　no　account。　No；　no！〃　she　said；　but
only　with　her　lips；　the　tremulous　confusion　of　her　whole　being
said　something　very　different。

It　was　Matrona　Pavlovna　who　had　come　to　the　door。　She　came　in
with　a。　blanket　over　her　arm；　looked　reproachfully　at　Nekhludoff；
and　began　scolding　Katusha　for　having　taken　the　wrong　blanket。

Nekhludoff　went　out　in　silence；　but　he　did　not　even　feel　ashamed。
He　could　see　by　Matrona　Pavlovna's　face　that　she　was　blaming　him；
he　knew　that　she　was　blaming　him　with　reason　and　felt　that　he　was
doing　wrong；　but　this　novel；　low　animal　excitement；　having　freed
itself　of　all　the　old　feelings　of　real　love　for　Katusha；　ruled
supreme；　leaving　room　for　nothing　else。　He　went　about　as　if
demented　all　the　evening；　now　into　his　aunts'；　then　back　into　his
own　room；　then　out　into　the　porch；　thinking　all　the　time　how　he
could　meet　her　alone；　but　she　avoided　him；　and　Matrona　Pavlovna
watched　her　closely。


CHAPTER　XVII。

NEKHLUDOFF　AND　KATUSHA。

AND　so　the　evening　passed　and　night　came。　The　doctor　went　to　bed。
Nekhludoff's　aunts　had　also　retired；　and　he　knew　that　Matrona
Pavlovna　was　now　with　them　in　their　bedroom　so　that　Katusha　was
sure　to　be　alone　in　the　maids'　sitting…room。　He　again　went　out
into　the　porch。　It　was　dark；　damp　and　warm　out　of　doors；　and　that
white　spring　mist　which　drives　away　the　last　snow；　or　is　diffused
by　the　thawing　of　the　last　snow；　filled　the　air。　From　the　river
under　the　hill；　about　a　hundred　steps　from　the　front　door；　came　a
strange　sound。　It　was　the　ice　breaking。　Nekhludoff　came　down　the
steps　and　went　up　to　the　window　of　the　maids'　room；　stepping　over
the　puddles　on　the　bits　of　glazed　snow。　His　heart　was　beating　so
fiercely　in　his　breast　that　he　seemed　to　hear　it；　his　laboured
breath　came　and　went　in　a　burst　of　long…drawn　sighs。　In　the
maids'　room　a　small　lamp　was　burning；　and　Katusha　sat　alone　by
the　table；　looking　thoughtfully　in　front　of　her。　Nekhludoff　stood
a　long　time　without　moving　and　waited　to　see　what　she；　not
knowing　that　she　was　observed；　would　do。　For　a　minute　or　two　she
did　not　move；　then　she　lifted　her　eyes；　smiled　and　shook　her　head
as　if　chiding　herself；　then　changed　her　pose　and　dropped　both　her
arms　on　the　table　and　again　began　gazing　down　in　front　of　her。　He
stood　and　looked　at　her；　involuntarily　listening　to　the　beating
of　his　own　heart　and　the　strange　sounds　from　the　river。　There　on
the　river；　beneath　the　white　mist；　the　unceasing　labour　went　on；
and　sounds　as　of　something　sobbing；　cracking；　dropping；　being
shattered　to　pieces　mixed　with　the　tinkling　of　the　thin　bits　of
ice　as　they　broke　against　each　other　like　glass。

There　he　stood；　looking　at　Katusha's　serious；　suffering　face；
which　betrayed　the　inner　struggle　of　her　soul；　and　he　felt　pity
for　her；　but；　strange　though　it　may　seem；　this　pity　only
confirmed　him　in　his　evil　intention。

He　knocked　at　the　window。　She　started　as　if　she　had　received　an
electric　shock；　her　whole　body　trembled；　and　a　look　of　horror
came　into　her　face。　Then　she　jumped　up；　approached　the　window　and
brought　her　face　up　to　the　pane。　The　look　of　terror　did　not　leave
her　face　even　when；　holding　her　hands　up　to　her　eyes　like
blinkers　and　peering　through　the　glass；　she　recognised　him。　Her
face　was　unusually　grave；　he　had　never　seen　it　so　before。　She
returned　his　smile；　but　only　in　submission　to　him；　there　was　no
smile　in　her　soul；　only　fear。　He　beckoned　her　with　his　hand　to
come　out　into　the　yard　to　him。　But　she　shook　her　head　and
remained　by　the　window。　He　brought　his　face　close　to　the　pane　and
was　going　to　call　out　to　her；　but　at　that　moment　she　turned　to
the　door；　evidently　some　one　inside　had　called　her。　Nekhludoff
moved　away　from　the　window。　The　fog　was　so　dense　that　five　steps
from　the　house　the　windows　could　not　be　seen；　but　the　light　from
the　lamp　shone　red　and　huge　out　of　a　shapeless　black　mass。　And　on
the　river　the　same　strange　sounds　went　on；　sobbing　and　rustling
and　cracking　and　tinkling。　Somewhere　in　the　fog；　not　far　off；　a
cock　crowed；　another　answered；　and　then　others；　far　in　the
village　took　up　the　cry　till　the　sound　of　the　crowing　blended
into　one；　while　all　around　was　silent　excepting　the　river。　It　was
the　second　time　the　cocks　crowed　that　night。

Nekhludoff　walked　up　and　down　behind　the　corner　of　the　house；　and
once　or　twice　got　into　a　puddle。　Then　again　came　up　to　the
window。　The　lamp　was　still　burning；　and　she　was　again　sitting
alone　by　the　table　as　if　uncertain　what　to　do。　He　had　hardly
approached　the　window　when　she　looked　up。　He　knocked。　Without
looking　who　it　was　she　at　once　ran　out　of　the　room；　and　he　heard
the　outside　door　open　with　a　snap。　He　waited　for　her　near　the
side　porch　and　put　his　arms　round　her　without　saying　a　word。　She
clung　to　him；　put　up　her　face；　and　met　his　kiss　with　her　lips。
Then　the　door　again　gave　the　same　sort　of　snap　and　opened；　and
the　voice　of　Matrona　Pavlovna　called　out　angrily；　〃Katusha！〃

She　tore　herself　away　from　him　and　returned　into　the　maids'　room。
He　heard　the　latch　click；　and　then　all　was　quiet。　The　red　light
disappeared　and　only　the　mist　remained；　and　the　bustle　on　the
river　went　on。　Nekhludoff　went　up　to　the　window；　nobody　was　to　be
seen；　he　knocked；　but　got　no　answer。　He　went　back　into　the　house
by　the　front　door；　but　could　not　sleep。　He　got　up　and　went　with
bare　feet　along　the　passage　to　her　door；　next　Matrona　Pavlovna's
room。　He　heard　Matrona　Pavlovna　snoring　quietly；　and　was　about　to
go　on　when　she　coughed　and　turned　on　her　creaking　bed；　and　his
heart　fell；　and　he　stood　immovable　for　about　five　minutes。　When
all　was　quiet　and　she　began　to　snore　peacefully　again；　he　went
on；　trying　to　step　on　the　boards　that　did　not　creak；　and　came　to
Katusha's　door。　There　was　no　sound　to　be　heard。　She　was　probably
awake；　or　else　he　would　have　heard　her　breathing。　But　as　soon　as
he　had　whispered　〃Katusha〃　she　jumped　up　and　began　to　persuade
him；　as　if　angrily；　to　go　away。

〃Open！　Let　me　in　just　for　a　moment！　I　implore　you！　He　hardly　knew
what　he　was　saying。

　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　*　*　*　*　*　*　*

When　she　left　him；　trembling　and　silent；　giving　no　answer　to　his
words；　he　again　went　out　into　the　porch　and　stood　tryin