new burlesques(新讽刺诗)-第7节
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〃The rest are mere corroborative details！ You were again tampering
with the drawer when I discovered you doing so！ Do not start！ The
stranger that blundered into the room with a muffler onwas myself！
More； I had placed a little soap on the drawer handles when I purposely
left you alone。 The soap was on your hand when I shook it at parting。 I
softly felt your pockets； when you were asleep； for further developments。
I embraced you when you left that I might feel if you had the cigar case
or any other articles hidden on your body。 This confirmed me in the
belief that you had already disposed of it in the manner and for the
purpose I have shown you。 As I still believed you capable of remorse
and confession； I twice allowed you to see I was on your track： once in the
garb of an itinerant negro minstrel； and the second time as a workman
looking in the window of the pawnshop where you pledged your booty。〃
〃But；〃 I burst out； 〃if you had asked the pawnbroker； you would have
seen how unjust〃
〃Fool！〃 he hissed； 〃that was one of YOUR suggestionsto search the
pawnshops！ Do you suppose I followed any of your suggestions； the
suggestions of the thief？ On the contrary； they told me what to avoid。〃
〃And I suppose；〃 I said bitterly； 〃you have not even searched your
drawer？〃
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〃No；〃 he said calmly。
I was for the first time really vexed。 I went to the nearest drawer and
pulled it out sharply。 It stuck as it had before； leaving a part of the
drawer unopened。 By working it； however； I discovered that it was
impeded by some obstacle that had slipped to the upper part of the drawer；
and held it firmly fast。 Inserting my hand； I pulled out the impeding
object。 It was the missing cigar case！ I turned to him with a cry of joy。
But I was appalled at his expression。 A look of contempt was now
added to his acute； penetrating gaze。 〃I have been mistaken；〃 he said
slowly； 〃I had not allowed for your weakness and cowardice！ I thought
too highly of you even in your guilt！ But I see now why you tampered
with that drawer the other night。 By some inexplicable meanspossibly
another theftyou took the cigar case out of pawn and； like a whipped
hound； restored it to me in this feeble； clumsy fashion。 You thought to
deceive me； Hemlock Jones！ More； you thought to destroy my infallibility。
Go！ I give you your liberty。 I shall not summon the three policemen
who wait in the adjoining roombut out of my sight forever！〃
As I stood once more dazed and petrified； he took me firmly by the ear
and led me into the hall； closing the door behind him。 This reopened
presently； wide enough to permit him to thrust out my hat； overcoat；
umbrella； and overshoes； and then closed against me forever！
I never saw him again。 I am bound to say； however； that thereafter
my business increased； I recovered much of my old practice； and a few of
my patients recovered also。 I became rich。 I had a brougham and a
house in the West End。 But I often wondered； pondering on that
wonderful man's penetration and insight； if； in some lapse of
consciousness； I had not really stolen his cigar case！
GOLLY AND THE CHRISTIAN；
OR
THE MINX AND THE MANXMAN
By HLL CNE
BOOK I
Golly Coyle was the only granddaughter of a vague and somewhat
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simple clergyman who existed； with an aunt； solely for Golly's epistolary
purposes。 There was； of course； intermediate ancestry； notably a dead
mother who was French； and therefore responsible for any later
naughtiness in Golly；but they have no purpose here。 They lived in the
Isle of Man。 Golly knew a good deal of Man； for even at the age of
twelve she was in love with John Galeonly son of Lord Gale； who was
connected with the Tempests。 Gales； however； were frequent and
remarkable along the coast； so that it was not singular that one day she
found John 〃coming on〃 on a headland where she was sitting。 His dog
had 〃pointed〃 her。 〃It's exceedingly impolite to point to anything you
want；〃 said Golly。 Touched by this； and overcome by a strange emotion；
John Gale turned away and went to Canada。 Slight as the incident was； it
showed that inborn chivalry to women； that desire for the Perfect Life； that
intense eagerness to incarnate Christianity in modern society； which
afterward distinguished him。 Golly loved him！ For all that； she still
remained a 〃tomboy〃 as she was；robbing orchards； mimicking tramps
and policemen； buttering the stairs and the steps of houses； tying kettles to
dogs' tails； and marching in a white jersey； with the curate's hat on；
through the streets of the village。 〃Gol dern my skin！〃 said the dear old
clergyman； as he tried to emerge from a surplice which Golly had stitched
together； 〃what spirits the child DO have！〃 Yet everybody loved her！
And when John Gale returned from Canada； and looked into her big blue
eyes one day at church； small wonder that he immediately went off again
to Paris； and an extended Continental sojourn； with a serious leaning to
theology！ Golly bore his absence meekly but characteristically； got a
boat； disported like a duck in the water； attempted to elope with a boy
appropriately named Drake； but encountered a half gale at sea and a whole
Gale in John on a yacht； who rescued them both。 Convinced now that
there was but one way to escape from his FateGolly！John Gale took
holy orders and at once started for London。 As he stood on the deck of
the steamer he heard an imbecile chuckle in his ear。 It was the simple old
clergyman： 〃You are going to London to join the Church； John； Golly is
going there； too； as hospital nurse。 There's a pair of you！ He！ he！ Look
after her； John； and protect her Manx simplicity。〃 Before John could
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recover himself； Golly was at his side executing the final steps of a 〃cellar…
door flap jig〃 to the light…hearted refrain：
〃We are a simple familywe arewe arewe are！〃
And even as her pure young voice arose above the screams of the
departure whistle； she threw a double back…somersault on the quarterdeck；
cleverly alighting on the spikes of the wheel before the delighted captain。
〃Jingle my electric bells；〃 be said； looking at the bright young thing；
〃but you're a regular minx〃
〃I beg your pardon；〃 interrupted John Gale； with a quick flush。
〃I mean a regular MANX；〃 said the captain hurriedly。
A singular paleness crossed the deeply religious face of John。 As the
vessel rose on the waves； he passed his hand hurriedly first across his
brows and then over his high…buttoned clerical waistcoat； that visible sign
of a devoted ascetic life！ Then murmuring in his low； deep voice；
〃Brandy； steward；〃 he disappeared below。
BOOK II
Glorious as were Golly's spirits； exquisitely simple her worldly
ignorance； and irresistible her powers of mimicry； strangely enough they
were considered out of place in St。 Barabbas' Hospital。 A light…hearted
disposition to mistake a blister for a poultice； that rare Manx
conscientiousness which made her give double doses to the patients as a
compensation when she had omitted to give them a single one； and the
faculty of bursting into song at the beds
