new burlesques(新讽刺诗)-第13节
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hoping in this way to cozen the reader with a belief in their own
truthfulness； and encrease the extravagance of their deeds。 I； being a
plain； blunt man； shall simply say for myself that for many days after
being taken from the bilboes and made free of the deck； I was grievously
distempered by reason of the waves； and so collapsed in the bowels that I
could neither eat； stand； nor lie。 Being thus in great fear of death； from
which I was miraculously preserved； I； out of sheer gratitude to my Maker；
did incontinently make oath and sign articles to be one of the crew which
were buccaneers。 I did this the more readily as we were to attack the
ships of Spayne only； and through there being no state of Warre at that
time between England and that country； it was wisely conceived that this
conduct would provoke it； and we should thus be forearmed； as became a
juste man in his quarrel。 For this we had the precious example of many
great Captains。 We did therefore heave to and burn many shipsthe
quality of those engagements I do not set forth； not having a seaman's use
of ship speech； and despising； as a plain； blunt man； those who misuse it；
having it not。
But this I do know； that； having some conceit of a shipman's ways and
of pirates； I did conceive at this time a pretty song for my comradoes；
whereof the words ran thus：
Yo ho！ when the Dog Watch bayeth loud In the light
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of a mid…sea moon！ And the Dead Eyes glare in the stiffening
Shroud； For that is the Pirate's noon！ When the Night
Mayres sit on the Dead Man's Chest Where no manne's breath
may come Then hey for a bottle of Rum！ Rum！ Rum！
And a passage to Kingdom come！
I take no credit to myself for the same； except so far as it may shew a
touch of my Lord of Southampton's mannerwe being intimate but this I
know； that it was much acclaimed by the crew。 Indeed they； observing
that the Captain was of a cruel nature； would fain kill him and put me in
his stead； but I； objecting to the shedding of precious blood in such behoof；
did prevent such a lamentable and inhuman action by stealthily throwing
him by night from his cabbin window into the seawhere； owing to the
inconceivable distance of the ship from shore； he was presently drowned。
Which untoward fate had a great effect upon my fortunes； since；
burthening myself with his goods and effects； I found in his chest a printed
proclamation from an aged and infirm clergyman in the West of England
covenanting that； for the sum of two crowns； he would send to whoso
offered； the chart of an island of great treasure in the Spanish Main；
whereof he had had confession from the lips of a dying parishioner； and
the amount gained thereby he would use for the restoration of his parish
church。 Now I； reading this； was struck by a great remorse and
admiration for our late Captain； for that it would seem that he was； like
myself； a staunch upholder of the Protestant Faith and the Church thereof；
as did appear by his possession of the chart； for which he had no doubt
paid the two good crowns。 As an act of penance I resolved upon finding
the same island by the aid of the chart； and to that purpose sailed East
many days； and South； and North； and West as many other daysthe
manner whereof and the latitude and longitude of which I shall not burden
the reader with； holding it； as a plain； blunt man； mere padding and
impertinence to fill out my narrative； which helpeth not the general reader。
So； I say； when we sighted the Island； which seemed to be swarming with
savages； I ordered the masts to be stripped； save but for a single sail which
hung sadly and distractedly； and otherwise put the ship into the likeness of
a forlorn wreck； clapping the men； save one or two； under hatches。 This I
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did to prevent the shedding of precious blood； knowing full well that the
ignorant savages； believing the ship in sore distress； would swim off to her
with provisions and fruit； bearing no arms。 Which they did； while we； as
fast as they clomb the sides； despatched them at leisure； without unseemly
outcry or alarms。 Having thus disposed of the most adventurous； we
landed and took possession of the island； finding thereon many kegs of
carbuncles and rubies and pieces of eightthe treasure store of those
lawless pirates who infest the seas； having no colour of war or teaching of
civilisation to atone for their horrid deeds。
I discovered also； by an omission in the chart； that this was not the
Island wot of by the good and aged Devonshire divineand so we eased
our consciences of accounting for the treasure to him。 We then sailed
away； arriving after many years' absence at the Port of Bristol in Merrie
England； where I took leave of the 〃Jolly Roger；〃 that being the name of
my ship； it was a strange conceit of seamen in after years ever to call the
device of my FLAGto wit； a skull and bones made in the sign of a Cross…
…by the NAME my ship bore； and if I have only corrected the misuse of
history by lying knaves； I shall be content with this writing。 But alas！
such are the uncertainties of time； I found my good Lord of Southampton
dead and most of his friends beheaded； and the blessed King James of
Scotlandif I mistake not； for these also be the uncertainties of timeon
the throne。 In due time I married Mistress Marian Straitways。 I might
have told more of trifling； and how she fared； poor wench！ in mine
absence； even to the following of me in another ship； in a shipboy's
disguise； and how I rescued her from a scheming Pagan villain； but； as a
plain； blunt man； I am no hand at the weaving of puling love tales and
such trifling diversions for lovesick mayds and their puny gallantshaving
only consideration for men and their deeds； which I have here set down
bluntly and even at mine advanced years am ready to maintain with the
hand that set it down。
DAN'L BOREM
BY E。 NS WTT
I
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Dan'l Borem poured half of his second cup of tea abstractedly into his
lap。
〃Guess you've got suthin' on yer mind； Dan'l；〃 said his sister。
〃Mor'n likely I've got suthin' on my pants；〃 returned Dan'l with that
exquisitely dry； though somewhat protracted humor which at once thrilled
and bored his acquaintances。 〃Butspeakin' o' that hoss trade〃
〃For goodness' sake； don't！〃 interrupted his sister wearily； 〃yer allus
doin' it。 Jest tell me about that young manthe new clerk ye think o'
gettin'。〃
〃Well； I telegraphed him to come over； arter I got this letter from him；〃
he returned； handing her a letter。 〃Read it out loud。〃
But his sister； having an experienced horror of prolixity； glanced over
it。 〃Far as I kin see he takes mor'n two hundred words to say you've got
to take him on trust； and sez it suthin' in a style betwixt a business circular
and them Polite Letter Writers。 I thought you allowed he was a tony
feller。〃
〃Ef he does not brag much； ye see； I kin offer him small wages；〃 said
Dan'l； with a wink。 〃It's kinder takin' him at his own figger。〃 〃And
THAT mightn't pay！ But ye don't think o' bringin' him HERE in this
house？ 'Cept you're thinkin' o' tellin' him that yarn o' yours about the
hoss trade to beguile the winter evenings。 I told ye ye'd hev to pay yet to
get folks to listen to it。〃
〃Wrong aginez you'll see！ Wot ef I get a hundred thousand folks to
pay me for tellin' it？ But； speakin' o' this young feller； I calkilated
