poor miss finch-第70节

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some　little　encouragement。　It　had　affected　her　disagreeably　（just　as　poor
Oscar's　face　had　affected　her）；　though　she　had　not　actually　known　it　for
the　color　that　she　disliked。　She　made　an　effort；　poor　child；　to　assert
herself；　against　her　merciless　surgeon…teacher。　〃I　didn't　know　it　was
black；〃　she　said。　〃But　I　hated　the　sight　of　it；　for　all　that。〃

　She　tried；　as　she　spoke；　to　toss　the　hat　on　to　a　chair；　standing　close
by　herand　threw　it　instead；　high　above　the　back　of　the　chair；　against
the　wall；　at　least　six　feet　away　from　the　object　at　which　she　had　aimed。
〃I　am　a　helpless　fool！〃　she　burst　out；　her　face　flushing　crimson　with
mortification。　〃Don't　let　Oscar　see　me！　I　can't　bear　the　thought　of
making　myself　ridiculous　before　_him！_　He　is　coming　here；〃　she　added；
turning　to　me　entreatingly。　〃Manage　to　make　some　excuse　for　his　not
seeing　me　till　later　in　the　day。〃

I　promised　to　find　the　excuseall　the　more　readily；　that　I　now　saw　an
unexpected　chance　of　reconciling　her　in　some　degree　（so　long　as　she　was
learning　to　see）　to　the　blank　produced　in　her　life　by　Oscar's　absence。

She　addressed　herself　again　to　Grosse。

〃Go　on！〃　she　said　impatiently。　〃Teach　me　to　be　something　better　than　an
idiotor　put　the　bandage　on；　and　blind　me　again。　My　eyes　are　of　no　use
to　me！　Do　you　hear？〃　she　cried　furiously；　taking　him　by　his　broad
shoulders　and　shaking　him　with　all　her　might〃my　eyes　are　of　no　use　to
me！〃

〃Now！　now！　now！〃　cried　Grosse。　〃If　you　don't　keep　your　tempers；　you
little　spitfire；　I　will　teach　you　nothing。〃　He　took　up　the　sheet　of　paper
and　the　pen…wiper；　and；　forcing　her　to　sit　down；　placed　them　together
before　her；　in　her　lap。

〃Do　you　know　one　thing？〃　he　went　on。　〃Do　you　know　what　is　meant　by　an
objects　which　is　square？　Do　you　know　what　is　meant　by　an　objects　which　is
round？〃

Instead　of　answering　him；　she　appealed　indignantly　to　my　opinion。

〃Is　it　not　monstrous；〃　she　asked；　〃to　hear　him　put　such　a　question　to　me
as　that？　Do　I　know　round　from　square？　Oh；　how　cruelly　humiliating！　Don't
tell　Oscar！　don't　tell　Oscar！〃

〃If　you　know；〃　persisted　Grosse；　〃you　can　tell　me。　Look　at　those　two
things　in　your　lap。　Are　they　both　round？　or　both　square？　or　is　one　round？
and　the　odder　square？　Look　now；　and　tell　me。〃

She　lookedand　said　nothing。

〃Well？〃　continued　Grosse。

〃You　put　me　out；　standing　there　staring　at　me　through　your　horrid
spectacles！〃　she　said　irritably。　〃Don't　look　at　me；　and　I　will　tell　you
directly。〃

Grosse　turned　his　head　my　way；　with　his　diabolical　grin；　and　signed　to　me
to　keep　watch　on　her；　in　his　place。

The　instant　his　back　was　turned；　she　shut　her　eyes；　and　ran　over　the
paper　and　the　pen…wiper　with　the　tips　of　her　fingers！

〃One　is　round　and　one　is　square；〃　she　answered；　cunningly　opening　her
eyes　again；　just　in　time　to　bear　critical　inspection　when　Grosse　turned
round　towards　her　once　more。

He　took　the　paper　and　the　pen…wiper　out　of　her　hands；　and　（thoroughly
understanding　the　trick　she　had　played　him）　changed　them　for　a　bronze
saucer　and　a　book。　〃Which　is　round？　and　which　is　square　of　these？〃　he
asked；　holding　them　up　before　her。

She　looked　first　at　one；　and　then　at　the　otherplainly　incapable　（with
only　her　eyes　to　help　her）　of　answering　the　question。

〃I　put　you　outdon't　I？〃　said　Grosse。　〃You　can't　shut　your　eyes；　my
lofely　Feench；　while　I　am　lookingcan　you？〃

She　turned　redthen　pale　again。　I　began　to　be　afraid　she　would　burst　out
crying。　Grosse　managed　her　to　perfection。　The　tact　of　this　rough；　ugly；
eccentric　old　man　was　the　most　perfect　tact　I　have　ever　met　with。

〃Shut　your　eyes；〃　he　said　soothingly。　〃It　is　the　right　ways　to　learn。
Shut　your　eyes；　and　take　them　in　your　hands；　and　tell　me　which　is　round
and　which　is　square　in　that　way　first。〃

She　told　him　directly。

〃Goot！　now　open　your　eyes；　and　see　for　yourself　it　is　the　saucers　you
have　got　in　your　right　hand；　and　the　books　you　have　got　in　your　left。　You
see？　Goot　again！　Put　them　back　on　the　table　now。　What　shall　we　do　next？〃

〃May　I　try　if　I　can　write？〃　she　asked　eagerly。　〃I　do　so　want　to　see　if　I
can　write　with　my　eyes　instead　of　my　finger。〃

〃No！　Ten　thausand　times　no！　I　forbid　reading；　I　forbid　writing；　yet。　Come
with　me　to　the　window。　How　do　these　most　troublesome　eyes　of　yours　do　at
a　distance？〃

While　we　had　been　trying　our　experiment　with　Lucilla；　the　weather　had
brightened　again。　The　clouds　were　parting；　the　sun　was　coming　out；　the
bright　gaps　of　blue　in　the　sky　were　widening　every　moment；　the　shadows
were　traveling　grandly　over　the　windy　slopes　of　the　hills。　Lucilla　lifted
her　hands　in　speechless　admiration　as　the　German　threw　open　the　window；
and　placed　her　face　to　face　with　the　view。

〃Oh！〃　she　exclaimed；　〃don't　speak　to　me！　don't　touch　me！let　me　enjoy
it！　There　is　no　disappointment　_here。_　I　have　never　thought；　I　have　never
dreamed；　of　anything　half　so　beautiful　as　_this！_〃

Grosse　looked　at　me；　and　silently　pointed　to　her。　She　had　turned
paleshe　was　trembling　in　every　limb；　overwhelmed　by　her　own　ecstatic
sense　of　the　glory　of　the　sky　and　the　beauty　of　the　earth；　as　they　now
met　her　view　for　the　first　time。　I　penetrated　the　surgeon's　object　in
directing　my　attention　to　her。　〃See〃　（he　meant　to　say）；　〃what　a
delicately…organized　creature　we　have　to　deal　with！　Is　it　possible　to　be
too　careful　in　handling　such　a　sensitive　temperament　as　that？〃
Understanding　him　only　too　well；　I　also　trembled　when　I　thought　of　the
future。　Everything　now　depended　on　Nugent。　And　Nugent's　own　lips　had　told
me　that　he　could　not　depend　on　himself！

It　was　a　relief　to　me　when　Grosse　interrupted　her。

She　pleaded　hard　to　be　allowed　to　stay　at　the　window　a　little　longer。　He
refused　to　allow　it。　Upon　that　she　flew　instantly　into　the　opposite
extreme。　〃I　am　in　my　own　room；　and　I　am　my　own　mistress；〃　she　said
angrily。　〃I　insist　on　having　my　own　way。〃　Grosse　was　ready　with　his
answer。

〃Take　your　own　ways；　fatigue　those　weak　new　eyes　of　yoursand　to…morrow；
when　you　try　to　look　out　of　window；　you　will　not　be　able　to　see　at　all。〃
This　reply　terrified　her　into　instant　submission。　She　assisted　in
replacing　the　bandage　with　her　own　hands。　〃May　I　go　away　to　my　own　room？〃
she　asked；　with　the　simplicity　of　a　child。　〃I　have　seen　such　beautiful
sightsand　I　do　so　want　to　think　of　them　by　myself。〃

The　medical　adviser　instantly　granted　the　patient's　request。　Any
proceeding　which　tended　to　compose　her；　was　a　proceeding　of　which　he
highly　approved。

〃If　Oscar　comes；〃　she　whispered；　as　she　passed　me　on　her　way　to　the　door；
〃mind　I　hear　of　it！　and　mind　you　don't　tell　him　of　the　mistakes　I　have
made！〃　She　paused　for　a　moment；　thinking。　〃I　don't　understand　myself；〃
she　said。　〃I　never　was　so　happy　in　my　life。　And　yet　I　feel　almost　ready
to　cry！〃　She　turned　towards　Grosse。　〃Come　here；　papa。　You　have　been　very
good　to　me　to…day。　I　will　give　you　a　kiss。〃　She　laid　her　hands　lightly　on
his　shoulders；　kissed　his　lined　and　wrinkled　cheek；　gave　me　a　little
squeeze　round　the　waistand　left　us。　Grosse　turned　sharply　to　the
window；　and　used　his　huge　silk　handkerchief　for　a　purpose　to　which　（I
suspect）　it　had　not　been　put　for　many　a　long　year　past。



CHAPTER　THE　FORTIETH

Traces　of　Nugent

〃MADAME　PRATOLUNGO！〃

〃Herr　Grosse？〃

He　put　his　handkerchief　back　into　his　pocket；　and　turned　round　to　me　from
the　window　with　his　face　composed　again；　and　his　tea…caddy　snuff…box　in
his　hand。

〃Now　you　have　seen　for　your　own　self；〃　he　said；　with　an　emphatic　rap　on
the　box；　〃do　you　dare　tell　that　sweet　girls　which　of　them　it　is　that　has
gone　his　ways　and　left　her　for　ever？〃

It　is　not　easy　to　find　a　limit　to　the　obstinacy　of　womenwhen　men　expect
them　to　acknowledge　themselves　to　have　been　wrong。　After　what　I　had　seen；
I　no　more　dared　tell　her　than　he　did。　I　was　only　too　obstinate　to
acknowledge　it　to　himjust　yet。

〃Mind　this！〃　he　went　on。　Whether　you　shake　her　with　frights；　or　whether
you　heat　her　with　rages；　or　whether　you　wound　her　with　griefsit　all

goes　straight　the　same　to　those　weak　new　eyes　of　hers。　They　are　so　weak
and　so　new；　that　I　must　ask　once　more　for　my　beds　here　to…night；　for　to
see　to…morrow　if　I　have　not　already　tried　them　too　much。　Now；　for　the
last　time　of　asking；　have　you　got　the　abominable　courage　in　you　to　tell
her　the　truth？〃

He　had　found　my　limit　at　last。　I　was　obliged　to　own　（heartily　as　I
disliked　doing　it）　that　there　was；　for　the　present；　no　choice　left　but
mercifully　to　conceal　the　truth。　Having　gone　this　length　I　next　attempted
to　consult　him　as　to　the　safest　manner　in　which　I　could　account　to
Lucilla　for　Oscar's　absence。　He　refused　（as　a　man）　to　recognize　the
slightest　necessity　for　giving　me　（as　a　woman）　any　advice　on　a　question
of　evasions　and　excuses。　〃I　have　not　lived　all　my　years　in　the　world；
without　learning　something；〃　he　said。　〃When　it　comes　to　walking　upon
eggshells　and　telling　fips；　the　womens　have　nothing　to　learn　from　the
mens。Will　you　take　a　little　stroll…walk　with　me　in　the　garden？　I　have
one　odder　thing　to　say　to　you：　and　I　am　hungry　and　thirsty　both
togedderfor　This。〃

He　produced　〃This；〃　in　the　form　of　his　pipe。　We　left　the　room　at　once　for
our　stroll　in　the　garden。

Having　solaced　himself　w