the bedford-row conspiracy(百得福特娄阴谋)-第3节
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vice。〃 It was voted a shabby excuse。 Lady Gorgon was radiant in her
barouche and four； and gladly became the patroness of the ball that was to
ensue； and which all the gentry and townspeople； Tory and Whig； were in
the custom of attending。 The ball took place on the last day of the races。
On that day； the walls of the market…house； the principal public buildings；
and the 〃Gorgon Arms Hotel〃 itself； were plastered with the following：
〃Letter from our distinguished representative； William P。 Scully；
Esquire； etc。； etc。
〃HOUSE OF COMMONS： June 1；
18。
〃MY DEAR HEELTAP；You know my opinion about horseracing；
and though I blame neither you nor any brother Englishman who enjoys
that manly sport； you will； I am sure； appreciate the conscientious motives
which induce me not to appear among my friends and constituents on the
festival of the 3rd； 4th； and 5th instant。 If _I_； however； cannot allow my
name to appear among your list of stewards； ONE at least of the
representatives of Oldborough has no such scruples。 Sir George Gorgon is
among you： and though I differ from that honourable Baronet on more
than ONE VITAL POINT； I am glad to think that he is with you。 A
gentleman； a soldier； a man of property in the county； how can he be better
employed than in forwarding the county's amusements； and in forwarding
the happiness of all？
〃Had I no such scruples as those to which I have just alluded； I must
still have refrained from coming among you。 Your great Oldborough
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THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY
common…drainage and inclosure bill comes on to…morrow； and I shall be
AT MY POST。 I am sure； if Sir George Gorgon were here； he and I
should on this occasion vote side by side； and that party strife would be
forgotten in the object of our common interestOUR DEAR NATIVE
TOWN。
〃There is； however； another occasion at hand； in which I shall be proud
to meet him。 Your ball is on the night of the 6th。 Party forgotten
brotherly unioninnocent mirthbeauty； OUR DEAR TOWN'S BEAUTY；
our daughters in the joy of their expanding loveliness； our matrons in the
exquisite contemplation of their children's bliss can you； can I； can Whig
or Tory； can any Briton be indifferent to a scene like this； or refuse to join
in this heart…stirring festival？ If there BE such let them pardon meI； for
one； my dear Heeltap； will be among you on Friday nightay； and hereby
invite all pretty Tory Misses； who are in want of a partner。
〃I am here in the very midst of good things； you know； and we old
folks like A SUPPER after a dance。 Please to accept a brace of bucks and
a turtle； which come herewith。 My worthy colleague； who was so liberal
last year of his soup to the poor； will not； I trust； refuse to taste a little of
Alderman Birch's'tis offered on my part with hearty goodwill。 Hey for
the 6th； and vive la joie！
〃Ever； my dear Heeltap； your faithful
〃W。 PITT SCULLY。
〃P。S。Of course this letter is STRICTLY PRIVATE。 Say that the
venison； etc。 came from a WELL…WISHER TO OLDBOROUGH。〃
This amazing letter was published； in defiance of Mr。 Scully's
injunctions； by the enthusiastic Heeltap； who said； bluntly； in a preface；
〃that he saw no reason why Mr。 Scully should be ashamed of his action；
and he； for his part； was glad to let all friends at Oldborough know of it。〃
The allusion about the Gorgon soup was killing： thirteen paupers in
Oldborough had； it was confidently asserted； died of it。 Lady Gorgon； on
the reading of this letter； was struck completely dumb； Sir George Gorgon
was wild。 Ten dozen of champagne was he obliged to send down to the
〃Gorgon Arms；〃 to be added to the festival。 He would have stayed away
if he could； but he dared not。
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THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY
At nine o'clock； he in general's uniform； his wife in blue satin and
diamonds； his daughters in blue crape and white roses； his niece； Lucy
Gorgon； in white muslin； his son； George Augustus Frederick Grimsby
Gorgon； in a blue velvet jacket； sugar…loaf buttons； and nankeens； entered
the north door of the ballroom； to much cheering； and the sound of 〃God
save the King！〃
At that very same moment； and from the south door； issued William
Pitt Scully； Esquire； M。P。； and his staff。 Mr。 Scully had a brand…new blue
coat and brass buttons； buff waistcoat； white kerseymere tights； pumps
with large rosettes； and pink silk stockings。
〃This wool；〃 said he to a friend； 〃was grown on Oldborough sheep；
this cloth was spun in Oldborough looms； these buttons were cast in an
Oldborough manufactory； these shoes were made by an Oldborough
tradesman； this HEART first beat in Oldborough town； and pray Heaven
may be buried there！〃
Could anything resist a man like this？ John Perkins； who had come
down as one of Scully's aides…de…camp； in a fit of generous enthusiasm；
leaped on a whist…table； flung up a pocket…handkerchief； and shrieked
〃SCULLY FOR EVER！〃
Heeltap； who was generally drunk； fairly burst into tears； and the grave
tradesmen and Whig gentry； who had dined with the Member at his inn；
and accompanied him thence to the 〃Gorgon Arms；〃 lifted their deep
voices and shouted 〃Hear！〃 〃Good！〃 〃Bravo！〃 〃Noble！〃 〃Scully for ever！〃
〃God bless him！〃 and 〃Hurrah！〃
The scene was tumultuously affecting； and when young Perkins sprang
down from the table and came blushing up to the Member； that gentleman
said； 〃Thank you； Jack！ THANK you； my boy！ THANK you；〃 in a
way which made Perkins think that his supreme cup of bliss was quaffed；
that he had but to die： for that life had no other such joy in store for him。
Scully was Perkins's Napoleonhe yielded himself up to the attorney；
body and soul。
Whilst this scene was going on under one chandelier of the ballroom；
beneath the other scarlet little General Gorgon； sumptuous Lady Gorgon；
the daughters and niece Gorgons； were standing surrounded by their Tory
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THE BEDFORD…ROW CONSPIRACY
court； who affected to sneer and titter at the Whig demonstrations which
were taking place。
〃What a howwid thmell of whithkey！〃 lisped Cornet Fitch； of the
Dragoons； to Miss Lucy； confidentially。 〃And thethe are what they call
Whigth； are they？ He！ he！〃
〃They are drunk； … me；drunk； by …！〃 said the General to the
Mayor。
〃WHICH is Scully？〃 said Lady Gorgon； lifting her glass gravely （she
was at that very moment thinking of the syllabubs）。 〃Is it that tipsy man
in the green coat； or that vulgar creature in the blue one？〃
〃Law； my Lady；〃 said the Mayoress； 〃have you forgotten him？ Why；
that's him in blue and buff。〃
〃And a monthous fine man； too；〃 said Cornet Fitch。 〃I wish we had
him in our twoophe'th thix feet thwee； if he'th an inch； ain't he；
Genewal？〃
No reply。
〃And heavens！ Mamma；〃 shrieked the three Gorgons in a breath； 〃see；
one creature is on the whist…table。 Oh； the wretch！
〃I'm sure he's very good…looking；〃 said Lucy； simply。
Lady Gorgon darted at her an angry look； and was about to say
something very contemptuous； when； at that instant； John Perkins's shout
taking effect； Master George Augustus Frederick Grimsby Gorgon； not
knowing better； incontinently raised a small shout on his side。
〃Hear！ good！ bravo！〃 exclaimed he； 〃Scully for ever！ Hurra…a…a…ay！〃
and fell skipping about like the Whigs opposite。
〃Silence； you brute you！〃 groaned Lady Gorgon； and seizing him by
the shirt…frill and coat…collar； carried him away to his nurse； who； with
many other maids of the Whig and Tory parties； stood giggling and
peeping at the landing…place。
