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第35节

three men in a boat-第35节

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and explains that what he has been endeavouring to do for the last ten 

minutes is to adapt his method to bow's limited capacity。  Bow; in turn; 

then becomes insulted; and requests stroke not to trouble his head about 

him (bow); but to devote his mind to setting a sensible stroke。



〃Or; shall I take stroke?〃 he adds; with the evident idea that that would 

at once put the whole matter right。



They splash along for another hundred yards with still moderate success; 

and then the whole secret of their trouble bursts upon stroke like a 

flash of inspiration。



〃I tell you what it is: you've got my sculls;〃 he cries; turning to bow; 

〃pass yours over。〃



〃Well; do you know; I've been wondering how it was I couldn't get on with 

these;〃 answers bow; quite brightening up; and most willingly assisting 

in the exchange。  〃NOW we shall be all right。〃



But they are not … not even then。  Stroke has to stretch his arms nearly 

out of their sockets to reach his sculls now; while bow's pair; at each 

recovery; hit him a violent blow in the chest。  So they change back 

again; and come to the conclusion that the man has given them the wrong 

set altogether; and over their mutual abuse of this man they become quite 

friendly and sympathetic。



George said he had often longed to take to punting for a change。  Punting 

is not as easy as it looks。  As in rowing; you soon learn how to get 

along and handle the craft; but it takes long practice before you can do 

this with dignity and without getting the water all up your sleeve。



One young man I knew had a very sad accident happen to him the first time 

he went punting。  He had been getting on so well that he had grown quite 

cheeky over the business; and was walking up and down the punt; working 

his pole with a careless grace that was quite fascinating to watch。  Up 

he would march to the head of the punt; plant his pole; and then run 

along right to the other end; just like an old punter。  Oh! it was grand。



And it would all have gone on being grand if he had not unfortunately; 

while looking round to enjoy the scenery; taken just one step more than 

there was any necessity for; and walked off the punt altogether。  The 

pole was firmly fixed in the mud; and he was left clinging to it while 

the punt drifted away。  It was an undignified position for him。  A rude 

boy on the bank immediately yelled out to a lagging chum to 〃hurry up and 

see real monkey on a stick。〃



I could not go to his assistance; because; as ill…luck would have it; we 

had not taken the proper precaution to bring out a spare pole with us。  I 

could only sit and look at him。  His expression as the pole slowly sank 

with him I shall never forget; there was so much thought in it。



I watched him gently let down into the water; and saw him scramble out; 

sad and wet。  I could not help laughing; he looked such a ridiculous 

figure。  I continued to chuckle to myself about it for some time; and 

then it was suddenly forced in upon me that really I had got very little 

to laugh at when I came to think of it。  Here was I; alone in a punt; 

without a pole; drifting helplessly down mid…stream … possibly towards a 

weir。



I began to feel very indignant with my friend for having stepped 

overboard and gone off in that way。  He might; at all events; have left 

me the pole。



I drifted on for about a quarter of a mile; and then I came in sight of a 

fishing…punt moored in mid…stream; in which sat two old fishermen。  They 

saw me bearing down upon them; and they called out to me to keep out of 

their way。



〃I can't;〃 I shouted back。



〃But you don't try;〃 they answered。



I explained the matter to them when I got nearer; and they caught me and 

lent me a pole。  The weir was just fifty yards below。  I am glad they 

happened to be there。



The first time I went punting was in company with three other fellows; 

they were going to show me how to do it。  We could not all start 

together; so I said I would go down first and get out the punt; and then 

I could potter about and practice a bit until they came。



I could not get a punt out that afternoon; they were all engaged; so I 

had nothing else to do but to sit down on the bank; watching the river; 

and waiting for my friends。



I had not been sitting there long before my attention became attracted to 

a man in a punt who; I noticed with some surprise; wore a jacket and cap 

exactly like mine。  He was evidently a novice at punting; and his 

performance was most interesting。  You never knew what was going to 

happen when he put the pole in; he evidently did not know himself。  

Sometimes he shot up stream and sometimes he shot down stream; and at 

other times he simply spun round and came up the other side of the pole。  

And with every result he seemed equally surprised and annoyed。



The people about the river began to get quite absorbed in him after a 

while; and to make bets with one another as to what would be the outcome 

of his next push。



In the course of time my friends arrived on the opposite bank; and they 

stopped and watched him too。  His back was towards them; and they only 

saw his jacket and cap。  From this they immediately jumped to the 

conclusion that it was I; their beloved companion; who was making an 

exhibition of himself; and their delight knew no bounds。  They commenced 

to chaff him unmercifully。



I did not grasp their mistake at first; and I thought; 〃How rude of them 

to go on like that; with a perfect stranger; too!〃  But before I could 

call out and reprove them; the explanation of the matter occurred to me; 

and I withdrew behind a tree。



Oh; how they enjoyed themselves; ridiculing that young man!  For five 

good minutes they stood there; shouting ribaldry at him; deriding him; 

mocking him; jeering at him。  They peppered him with stale jokes; they 

even made a few new ones and threw at him。  They hurled at him all the 

private family jokes belonging to our set; and which must have been 

perfectly unintelligible to him。  And then; unable to stand their brutal 

jibes any longer; he turned round on them; and they saw his face!



I was glad to notice that they had sufficient decency left in them to 

look very foolish。  They explained to him that they had thought he was 

some one they knew。  They said they hoped he would not deem them capable 

of so insulting any one except a personal friend of their own。



Of course their having mistaken him for a friend excused it。  I remember 

Harris telling me once of a bathing experience he had at Boulogne。  He 

was swimming about there near the beach; when he felt himself suddenly 

seized by the neck from behind; and forcibly plunged under water。  He 

struggled violently; but whoever had got hold of him seemed to be a 

perfect Hercules in strength; and all his efforts to escape were 

unavailing。  He had given up kicking; and was trying to turn his thoughts 

upon solemn things; when his captor released him。



He regained his feet; and looked round for his would…be murderer。  The 

assassin was standing close by him; laughing heartily; but the moment he 

caught sight of Harris's face; as it emerged from the water; he started 

back and seemed quite concerned。



〃I really beg your pardon;〃 he stammered confusedly; 〃but I took you for 

a friend of mine!〃



Harris thought it was lucky for him the man had not mistaken him for a 

relation; or he would probably have been drowned outright。



Sailing is a thing that wants knowledge and practice too … though; as a 

boy; I did not think so。  I had an idea it came natural to a body; like 

rounders and touch。  I knew another boy who held this view likewise; and 

so; one windy day; we thought we would try the sport。  We were stopping 

down at Yarmouth; and we decided we would go for a trip up the Yare。  We 

hired a sailing boat at the yard by the bridge; and started off。  〃It's 

rather a rough day;〃 said the man to us; as we put off: 〃better take in a 

reef and luff sharp when you get round the bend。〃



We said we would make a point of it; and left him with a cheery 〃Good…

morning;〃 wondering to ourselves how you 〃luffed;〃 and where we were to 

get a 〃reef〃 from; and what we were to do with it when we had got it。



We rowed until we were out of sight of the town; and then; with a wide 

stretch of water in front of us; and the wind blowing a perfect hurricane 

across it; we felt that the time had come to commence operations。



Hector … I think that was his name … went on pulling while I unrolled the 

sail。  It seemed a complicated job; but I accomplished it at length; and 

then came the question; which was the top end?



By a sort of natural instinct; we; of course; eventually decided that the 

bottom was the top; and set to work to fix it upside…down。  But it was a 

long time before we could get it up; either that way or any other way。  


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