three men in a boat-第29节

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THE　CAT：　〃Good…morning。〃



Then　the　cat　rose；　and　continued　his　trot；　and　Montmorency；　fitting　what　

he　calls　his　tail　carefully　into　its　groove；　came　back　to　us；　and　took　up　

an　unimportant　position　in　the　rear。



To　this　day；　if　you　say　the　word　〃Cats！〃　to　Montmorency；　he　will　visibly　

shrink　and　look　up　piteously　at　you；　as　if　to　say：



〃Please　don't。〃



We　did　our　marketing　after　breakfast；　and　revictualled　the　boat　for　three　

days。　　George　said　we　ought　to　take　vegetables　…　that　it　was　unhealthy　

not　to　eat　vegetables。　　He　said　they　were　easy　enough　to　cook；　and　that　

he　would　see　to　that；　so　we　got　ten　pounds　of　potatoes；　a　bushel　of　peas；　

and　a　few　cabbages。　　We　got　a　beefsteak　pie；　a　couple　of　gooseberry　

tarts；　and　a　leg　of　mutton　from　the　hotel；　and　fruit；　and　cakes；　and　

bread　and　butter；　and　jam；　and　bacon　and　eggs；　and　other　things　we　

foraged　round　about　the　town　for。



Our　departure　from　Marlow　I　regard　as　one　of　our　greatest　successes。　　It　

was　dignified　and　impressive；　without　being　ostentatious。　　We　had　

insisted　at　all　the　shops　we　had　been　to　that　the　things　should　be　sent　

with　us　then　and　there。　　None　of　your　〃Yes；　sir；　I　will　send　them　off　at　

once：　the　boy　will　be　down　there　before　you　are；　sir！〃　and　then　fooling　

about　on　the　landing…stage；　and　going　back　to　the　shop　twice　to　have　a　

row　about　them；　for　us。　　We　waited　while　the　basket　was　packed；　and　took　

the　boy　with　us。



We　went　to　a　good　many　shops；　adopting　this　principle　at　each　one；　and　

the　consequence　was　that；　by　the　time　we　had　finished；　we　had　as　fine　a　

collection　of　boys　with　baskets　following　us　around　as　heart　could　

desire；　and　our　final　march　down　the　middle　of　the　High　Street；　to　the　

river；　must　have　been　as　imposing　a　spectacle　as　Marlow　had　seen　for　many　

a　long　day。



The　order　of　the　procession　was　as　follows：…





Montmorency；　carrying　a　stick。

Two　disreputable…looking　curs；　friends　of　Montmorency's。

George；　carrying　coats　and　rugs；　and　smoking　a　short　pipe。

Harris；　trying　to　walk　with　easy　grace；

while　carrying　a　bulged…out　Gladstone　bag　in　one　hand

and　a　bottle　of　lime…juice　in　the　other。

Greengrocer's　boy　and　baker's　boy；

with　baskets。

Boots　from　the　hotel；　carrying　hamper。

Confectioner's　boy；　with　basket。

Grocer's　boy；　with　basket。

Long…haired　dog。

Cheesemonger's　boy；　with　basket。

Odd　man　carrying　a　bag。

Bosom　companion　of　odd　man；　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets；

smoking　a　short　clay。

Fruiterer's　boy；　with　basket。

Myself；　carrying　three　hats　and　a　pair　of　boots；

and　trying　to　look　as　if　I　didn't　know　it。

Six　small　boys；　and　four　stray　dogs。





When　we　got　down　to　the　landing…stage；　the　boatman　said：



〃Let　me　see；　sir；　was　yours　a　steam…launch　or　a　house…boat？〃



On　our　informing　him　it　was　a　double…sculling　skiff；　he　seemed　surprised。



We　had　a　good　deal　of　trouble　with　steam　launches　that　morning。　　It　was　

just　before　the　Henley　week；　and　they　were　going　up　in　large　numbers；　

some　by　themselves；　some　towing　houseboats。　　I　do　hate　steam　launches：　I　

suppose　every　rowing　man　does。　　I　never　see　a　steam　launch　but　I　feel　I　

should　like　to　lure　it　to　a　lonely　part　of　the　river；　and　there；　in　the　

silence　and　the　solitude；　strangle　it。



There　is　a　blatant　bumptiousness　about　a　steam　launch　that　has　the　knack　

of　rousing　every　evil　instinct　in　my　nature；　and　I　yearn　for　the　good　old　

days；　when　you　could　go　about　and　tell　people　what　you　thought　of　them　

with　a　hatchet　and　a　bow　and　arrows。　　The　expression　on　the　face　of　the　

man　who；　with　his　hands　in　his　pockets；　stands　by　the　stern；　smoking　a　

cigar；　is　sufficient　to　excuse　a　breach　of　the　peace　by　itself；　and　the　

lordly　whistle　for　you　to　get　out　of　the　way　would；　I　am　confident；　

ensure　a　verdict　of　〃justifiable　homicide〃　from　any　jury　of　river　men。



They　used　to　HAVE　to　whistle　for　us　to　get　out　of　their　way。　　If　I　may　do　

so；　without　appearing　boastful；　I　think　I　can　honestly　say　that　our　one　

small　boat；　during　that　week；　caused　more　annoyance　and　delay　and　

aggravation　to　the　steam　launches　that　we　came　across　than　all　the　other　

craft　on　the　river　put　together。



〃Steam　launch；　coming！〃　one　of　us　would　cry　out；　on　sighting　the　enemy　in　

the　distance；　and；　in　an　instant；　everything　was　got　ready　to　receive　

her。　　I　would　take　the　lines；　and　Harris　and　George　would　sit　down　beside　

me；　all　of　us　with　our　backs　to　the　launch；　and　the　boat　would　drift　out　

quietly　into　mid…stream。



On　would　come　the　launch；　whistling；　and　on　we　would　go；　drifting。　　At　

about　a　hundred　yards　off；　she　would　start　whistling　like　mad；　and　the　

people　would　come　and　lean　over　the　side；　and　roar　at　us；　but　we　never　

heard　them！　　Harris　would　be　telling　us　an　anecdote　about　his　mother；　and　

George　and　I　would　not　have　missed　a　word　of　it　for　worlds。



Then　that　launch　would　give　one　final　shriek　of　a　whistle　that　would　

nearly　burst　the　boiler；　and　she　would　reverse　her　engines；　and　blow　off　

steam；　and　swing　round　and　get　aground；　everyone　on　board　of　it　would　

rush　to　the　bow　and　yell　at　us；　and　the　people　on　the　bank　would　stand　

and　shout　to　us；　and　all　the　other　passing　boats　would　stop　and　join　in；　

till　the　whole　river　for　miles　up　and　down　was　in　a　state　of　frantic　

commotion。　　And　then　Harris　would　break　off　in　the　most　interesting　part　

of　his　narrative；　and　look　up　with　mild　surprise；　and　say　to　George：



〃Why；　George；　bless　me；　if　here　isn't　a　steam　launch！〃



And　George　would　answer：



〃Well；　do　you　know；　I　THOUGHT　I　heard　something！〃



Upon　which　we　would　get　nervous　and　confused；　and　not　know　how　to　get　the　

boat　out　of　the　way；　and　the　people　in　the　launch　would　crowd　round　and　

instruct　us：



〃Pull　your　right　…　you；　you　idiot！　back　with　your　left。　　No；　not　YOU　…　

the　other　one　…　leave　the　lines　alone；　can't　you　…　now；　both　together。　　

NOT　THAT　way。　　Oh；　you　…　！〃



Then　they　would　lower　a　boat　and　come　to　our　assistance；　and；　after　

quarter　of　an　hour's　effort；　would　get　us　clean　out　of　their　way；　so　that　

they　could　go　on；　and　we　would　thank　them　so　much；　and　ask　them　to　give　

us　a　tow。　　But　they　never　would。



Another　good　way　we　discovered　of　irritating　the　aristocratic　type　of　

steam　launch；　was　to　mistake　them　for　a　beanfeast；　and　ask　them　if　they　

were　Messrs。　Cubit's　lot　or　the　Bermondsey　Good　Templars；　and　could　they　

lend　us　a　saucepan。



Old　ladies；　not　accustomed　to　the　river；　are　always　intensely　nervous　of　

steam　launches。　　I　remember　going　up　once　from　Staines　to　Windsor　…　a　

stretch　of　water　peculiarly　rich　in　these　mechanical　monstrosities　…　with　

a　party　containing　three　ladies　of　this　description。　　It　was　very　

exciting。　　At　the　first　glimpse　of　every　steam　launch　that　came　in　view；　

they　insisted　on　landing　and　sitting　down　on　the　bank　until　it　was　out　of　

sight　again。　　They　said　they　were　very　sorry；　but　that　they　owed　it　to　

their　families　not　to　be　fool…hardy。



We　found　ourselves　short　of　water　at　Hambledon　Lock；　so　we　took　our　jar　

and　went　up　to　the　lock…keeper's　house　to　beg　for　some。



George　was　our　spokesman。　　He　put　on　a　winning　smile；　and　said：



〃Oh；　please　could　you　spare　us　a　little　water？〃



〃Certainly；〃　replied　the　old　gentleman；　〃take　as　much　as　you　want；　and　

leave　the　rest。〃



〃Thank　you　so　much；〃　murmured　George；　looking　about　him。　　〃Where　…　where　

do　you　keep　it？〃



〃It's　always　in　the　same　place　my　boy；〃　was　the　stolid　reply：　〃just　

behind　you。〃



〃I　don't　see　it；〃　said　George；　turning　round。



〃Why；　bless　us；　where's　your　eyes？〃　was　the　man's　comment；　as　he　twisted　

George　round　and　pointed　up　and　down　the　stream。　　〃There's　enough　of　it　

to　see；　ain't　there？〃



〃Oh！〃　exclaimed　George；　grasping　the　idea；　〃but　we　can't　drink　the　river；　

you　know！〃



〃No；　but　you　can　drink　SOME　of　it；〃　replied　the　old　fellow。　　〃It's　what　

I've　drunk　for　the　last　fifteen　years。〃



George　told　him　that　his　appearance；　after　the　course；　did　not　seem　a　

sufficiently　good　advertisement　for　the　brand；　and　that　he　would　prefer　

it　out　of　a　pump。



We　got　some　from　a　cottage　a　little　higher　up。　　I　daresay　THAT　was　only　

river　water；　if　we　had　known。　　But　we　did　not　know；　so　it　was　all　right。　　

What　the　eye　does　not　see；　the　stomach　does　not　get　upset　over。



We　tried　river　water　once；　later　on　in　the　season；　but　it　was　not　a　

success。　　We　were　coming　down　stream；　and　had　pulled　up　to　have　tea　in　a　

backwater　near　Windsor。　　Our　jar　was　empty；　and　it　was　a　case　of　going　

without　our　tea　or　taking　water　from　the　river。　　Harris　was　for　chancing　

it。　　He　said　it　must　be　all　right　if　we　boiled　the　water。　　He　said　that　

the　various　germs　of　poison　present　in　the　water　would　be　killed　by　the　

boiling。　　So　we　filled　our　kettle　with　Thames　backwater；　and　boiled　it；　

and　very　careful　we　were　to　see　that　it　did　boil。



We　had　made　the　tea；　and　were　just　settling　d