three men in a boat-第21节

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time　everything　else　was　ready；　the　tea　was　waiting。　　Then　we　lit　the　

lantern；　and　squatted　down　to　supper。



We　wanted　that　supper。



For　five…and…thirty　minutes　not　a　sound　was　heard　throughout　the　length　

and　breadth　of　that　boat；　save　the　clank　of　cutlery　and　crockery；　and　the　

steady　grinding　of　four　sets　of　molars。　　At　the　end　of　five…and…thirty　

minutes；　Harris　said；　〃Ah！〃　and　took　his　left　leg　out　from　under　him　and　

put　his　right　one　there　instead。



Five　minutes　afterwards；　George　said；　〃Ah！〃　too；　and　threw　his　plate　out　

on　the　bank；　and；　three　minutes　later　than　that；　Montmorency　gave　the　

first　sign　of　contentment　he　had　exhibited　since　we　had　started；　and　

rolled　over　on　his　side；　and　spread　his　legs　out；　and　then　I　said；　〃Ah！〃　

and　bent　my　head　back；　and　bumped　it　against　one　of　the　hoops；　but　I　did　

not　mind　it。　　I　did　not　even　swear。



How　good　one　feels　when　one　is　full　…　how　satisfied　with　ourselves　and　

with　the　world！　　People　who　have　tried　it；　tell　me　that　a　clear　

conscience　makes　you　very　happy　and　contented；　but　a　full　stomach　does　

the　business　quite　as　well；　and　is　cheaper；　and　more　easily　obtained。　　

One　feels　so　forgiving　and　generous　after　a　substantial　and　well…digested　

meal　…　so　noble…minded；　so　kindly…hearted。



It　is　very　strange；　this　domination　of　our　intellect　by　our　digestive　

organs。　　We　cannot　work；　we　cannot　think；　unless　our　stomach　wills　so。　　

It　dictates　to　us　our　emotions；　our　passions。　　After　eggs　and　bacon；　it　

says；　〃Work！〃　　After　beefsteak　and　porter；　it　says；　〃Sleep！〃　　After　a　cup　

of　tea　（two　spoonsful　for　each　cup；　and　don't　let　it　stand　more　than　

three　minutes）；　it　says　to　the　brain；　〃Now；　rise；　and　show　your　strength。　　

Be　eloquent；　and　deep；　and　tender；　see；　with　a　clear　eye；　into　Nature　and　

into　life；　spread　your　white　wings　of　quivering　thought；　and　soar；　a　god…

like　spirit；　over　the　whirling　world　beneath　you；　up　through　long　lanes　

of　flaming　stars　to　the　gates　of　eternity！〃



After　hot　muffins；　it　says；　〃Be　dull　and　soulless；　like　a　beast　of　the　

field　…　a　brainless　animal；　with　listless　eye；　unlit　by　any　ray　of　fancy；　

or　of　hope；　or　fear；　or　love；　or　life。〃　　And　after　brandy；　taken　in　

sufficient　quantity；　it　says；　〃Now；　come；　fool；　grin　and　tumble；　that　

your　fellow…men　may　laugh　…　drivel　in　folly；　and　splutter　in　senseless　

sounds；　and　show　what　a　helpless　ninny　is　poor　man　whose　wit　and　will　are　

drowned；　like　kittens；　side　by　side；　in　half　an　inch　of　alcohol。〃



We　are　but　the　veriest；　sorriest　slaves　of　our　stomach。　　Reach　not　after　

morality　and　righteousness；　my　friends；　watch　vigilantly　your　stomach；　

and　diet　it　with　care　and　judgment。　　Then　virtue　and　contentment　will　

come　and　reign　within　your　heart；　unsought　by　any　effort　of　your　own；　and　

you　will　be　a　good　citizen；　a　loving　husband；　and　a　tender　father　…　a　

noble；　pious　man。



Before　our　supper；　Harris　and　George　and　I　were　quarrelsome　and　snappy　

and　ill…tempered；　after　our　supper；　we　sat　and　beamed　on　one　another；　and　

we　beamed　upon　the　dog；　too。　　We　loved　each　other；　we　loved　everybody。　　

Harris；　in　moving　about；　trod　on　George's　corn。　　Had　this　happened　before　

supper；　George　would　have　expressed　wishes　and　desires　concerning　

Harris's　fate　in　this　world　and　the　next　that　would　have　made　a　

thoughtful　man　shudder。



As　it　was；　he　said：　〃Steady；　old　man；　‘ware　wheat。〃



And　Harris；　instead　of　merely　observing；　in　his　most　unpleasant　tones；　

that　a　fellow　could　hardly　help　treading　on　some　bit　of　George's　foot；　if　

he　had　to　move　about　at　all　within　ten　yards　of　where　George　was　sitting；　

suggesting　that　George　never　ought　to　come　into　an　ordinary　sized　boat　

with　feet　that　length；　and　advising　him　to　hang　them　over　the　side；　as　he　

would　have　done　before　supper；　now　said：　〃Oh；　I'm　so　sorry；　old　chap；　I　

hope　I　haven't　hurt　you。〃



And　George　said：　〃Not　at　all；〃　that　it　was　his　fault；　and　Harris　said　no；　

it　was　his。



It　was　quite　pretty　to　hear　them。



We　lit　our　pipes；　and　sat；　looking　out　on　the　quiet　night；　and　talked。



George　said　why　could　not　we　be　always　like　this　…　away　from　the　world；　

with　its　sin　and　temptation；　leading　sober；　peaceful　lives；　and　doing　

good。　　I　said　it　was　the　sort　of　thing　I　had　often　longed　for　myself；　and　

we　discussed　the　possibility　of　our　going　away；　we　four；　to　some　handy；　

well…fitted　desert　island；　and　living　there　in　the　woods。



Harris　said　that　the　danger　about　desert　islands；　as　far　as　he　had　heard；　

was　that　they　were　so　damp：　but　George　said　no；　not　if　properly　drained。



And　then　we　got　on　to　drains；　and　that　put　George　in　mind　of　a　very　funny　

thing　that　happened　to　his　father　once。　　He　said　his　father　was　

travelling　with　another　fellow　through　Wales；　and；　one　night；　they　

stopped　at　a　little　inn；　where　there　were　some　other　fellows；　and　they　

joined　the　other　fellows；　and　spent　the　evening　with　them。



They　had　a　very　jolly　evening；　and　sat　up　late；　and；　by　the　time　they　

came　to　go　to　bed；　they　（this　was　when　George's　father　was　a　very　young　

man）　were　slightly　jolly；　too。　　They　（George's　father　and　George's　

father's　friend）　were　to　sleep　in　the　same　room；　but　in　different　beds。　　

They　took　the　candle；　and　went　up。　　The　candle　lurched　up　against　the　

wall　when　they　got　into　the　room；　and　went　out；　and　they　had　to　undress　

and　grope　into　bed　in　the　dark。　　This　they　did；　but；　instead　of　getting　

into　separate　beds；　as　they　thought　they　were　doing；　they　both　climbed　

into　the　same　one　without　knowing　it　…　one　getting　in　with　his　head　at　

the　top；　and　the　other　crawling　in　from　the　opposite　side　of　the　compass；　

and　lying　with　his　feet　on　the　pillow。



There　was　silence　for　a　moment；　and　then　George's　father　said：



〃Joe！〃



〃What's　the　matter；　Tom？〃　replied　Joe's　voice　from　the　other　end　of　the　

bed。



〃Why；　there's　a　man　in　my　bed；〃　said　George's　father；　〃here's　his　feet　on　

my　pillow。〃



〃Well；　it's　an　extraordinary　thing；　Tom；〃　answered　the　other；　〃but　I'm　

blest　if　there　isn't　a　man　in　my　bed；　too！〃



〃What　are　you　going　to　do？〃　asked　George's　father。



〃Well；　I'm　going　to　chuck　him　out；〃　replied　Joe。



〃So　am　I；〃　said　George's　father；　valiantly。



There　was　a　brief　struggle；　followed　by　two　heavy　bumps　on　the　floor；　and　

then　a　rather　doleful　voice　said：



〃I　say；　Tom！〃



〃Yes！〃



〃How　have　you　got　on？〃



〃Well；　to　tell　you　the　truth；　my　man's　chucked　me　out。〃



〃So's　mine！　　I　say；　I　don't　think　much　of　this　inn；　do　you？〃



〃What　was　the　name　of　that　inn？〃　said　Harris。



〃The　Pig　and　Whistle；〃　said　George。　　〃Why？〃



〃Ah；　no；　then　it　isn't　the　same；〃　replied　Harris。



〃What　do　you　mean？〃　queried　George。



〃Why　it's　so　curious；〃　murmured　Harris；　〃but　precisely　that　very　same　

thing　happened　to　MY　father　once　at　a　country　inn。　　I've　often　heard　him　

tell　the　tale。　　I　thought　it　might　have　been　the　same　inn。〃



We　turned　in　at　ten　that　night；　and　I　thought　I　should　sleep　well；　being　

tired；　but　I　didn't。　　As　a　rule；　I　undress　and　put　my　head　on　the　pillow；　

and　then　somebody　bangs　at　the　door；　and　says　it　is　half…past　eight：　but；　

to…night；　everything　seemed　against　me；　the　novelty　of　it　all；　the　

hardness　of　the　boat；　the　cramped　position　（I　was　lying　with　my　feet　

under　one　seat；　and　my　head　on　another）；　the　sound　of　the　lapping　water　

round　the　boat；　and　the　wind　among　the　branches；　kept　me　restless　and　

disturbed。



I　did　get　to　sleep　for　a　few　hours；　and　then　some　part　of　the　boat　which　

seemed　to　have　grown　up　in　the　night　…　for　it　certainly　was　not　there　

when　we　started；　and　it　had　disappeared　by　the　morning　…　kept　digging　

into　my　spine。　　I　slept　through　it　for　a　while；　dreaming　that　I　had　

swallowed　a　sovereign；　and　that　they　were　cutting　a　hole　in　my　back　with　

a　gimlet；　so　as　to　try　and　get　it　out。　　I　thought　it　very　unkind　of　them；　

and　I　told　them　I　would　owe　them　the　money；　and　they　should　have　it　at　

the　end　of　the　month。　　But　they　would　not　hear　of　that；　and　said　it　would　

be　much　better　if　they　had　it　then；　because　otherwise　the　interest　would　

accumulate　so。　　I　got　quite　cross　with　them　after　a　bit；　and　told　them　

what　I　thought　of　them；　and　then　they　gave　the　gimlet　such　an　

excruciating　wrench　that　I　woke　up。



The　boat　seemed　stuffy；　and　my　head　ached；　so　I　thought　I　would　step　out　

into　the　cool　night…air。　　I　slipped　on　what　clothes　I　could　find　about　…　

some　of　my　own；　and　some　of　George's　and　Harris's　…　and　crept　under　the　

canvas　on　to　the　bank。



It　was　a　glorious　night。　　The　moon　had　sunk；　and　left　the　quiet　earth　

alone　with　the　stars。　　It　seemed　as　if；　in　the　silence　and　the　hush；　

while　we　her　children　slept；　they　were　talking　with　her；　their　sister　…　

conversing　of　mighty　mysteries　in　voices　too　vast　and　deep　for　childish　

human　ears　to　catch　the　sound。



They　awe　us；　these　strange　stars；　so　cold；　so　clear。　　We　are　as　children　

wh