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It is difficult to disentangle now what I understood at this time
and what I have since come to understand�察�but it seems to me that
even in those childish days I was acutely aware of an invading and
growing disorder。 The serene rhythms of the old established
agriculture�察�I see now�察�were everywhere being replaced by
cultivation under notice and snatch crops�察�hedges ceased to be
repaired�察�and were replaced by cheap iron railings or chunks of
corrugated iron�察�more and more hoardings sprang up�察�and contributed
more and more to the nomad tribes of filthy paper scraps that flew
before the wind and overspread the country。 The outskirts of
Bromstead were a maze of exploitation roads that led nowhere�察�that
ended in tarred fences studded with nails ��I don't remember barbed
wire in those days�察�I think the Zeitgeist did not produce that until
later���察�and in trespass boards that used vehement language。 Broken
glass�察�tin cans�察�and ashes and paper abounded。 Cheap glass�察�cheap
tin�察�abundant fuel�察�and a free untaxed Press had rushed upon a world
quite unprepared to dispose of these blessings when the fulness of
enjoyment was past。
I suppose one might have persuaded oneself that all this was but the
replacement of an ancient tranquillity�察�or at least an ancient
balance�察�by a new order。 Only to my eyes�察�quickened by my father's
intimations�察�it was manifestly no order at all。 It was a multitude
of incoordinated fresh starts�察�each more sweeping and destructive
than the last�察�and none of them ever really worked out to a ripe and
satisfactory completion。 Each left a legacy of products�察�houses�察�
humanity�察�or what not�察�in its wake。 It was a sort of progress that
had bolted�察�it was change out of hand�察�and going at an unprecedented
pace nowhere in particular。
No�察�the Victorian epoch was not the dawn of a new era�察�it was a
hasty�察�trial experiment�察�a gigantic experiment of the most slovenly
and wasteful kind。 I suppose it was necessary�察�I suppose all things
are necessary。 I suppose that before men will discipline themselves
to learn and plan�察�they must first see in a hundred convincing forms
the folly and muddle that come from headlong�察�aimless and haphazard
methods。 The nineteenth century was an age of demonstrations�察�some
of them very impressive demonstrations�察�of the powers that have come
to mankind�察�but of permanent achievement�察�what will our descendants
cherish�拭 �It is hard to estimate what grains of precious metal may
not be found in a mud torrent of human production on so large a
scale�察�but will any one�察�a hundred years from now�察�consent to live
in the houses the Victorians built�察�travel by their roads or
railways�察�value the furnishings they made to live among or esteem�察�
except for curious or historical reasons�察�their prevalent art and
the clipped and limited literature that satisfied their souls��
That age which bore me was indeed a world full of restricted and
undisciplined people�察�overtaken by power�察�by possessions and great
new freedoms�察�and unable to make any civilised use of them whatever�察�
stricken now by this idea and now by that�察�tempted first by one
possession and then another to ill´considered attempts�察�it was my
father's exploitahon of his villa gardens on the wholesale level。
The whole of Bromstead as I remember it�察�and as I saw it lastit is
a year ago nowis a dull useless boiling´up of human activities�察�an
immense clustering of futilities。 It is as unfinished as ever�察�the
builders' roads still run out and end in mid´field in their old
fashion�察�the various enterprises jumble in the same hopeless
contradiction�察�if anything intensified。 Pretentious villas jostle
slums�察�and public´house and tin tabernacle glower at one another
across the cat´haunted lot that intervenes。 Roper's meadows are now
quite frankly a slum�察�back doors and sculleries gape towards the
railway�察�their yards are hung with tattered washing unashamed�察�and
there seem to be more boards by the railway every time I pass�察�
advertising pills and pickles�察�tonics and condiments�察�and suchlike
solicitudes of a people with no natural health nor appetite left in
them。 。 。 。
Well�察�we have to do better。 Failure is not failure nor waste wasted
if it sweeps away illusion and lights the road to a plan。
6
Chaotic indiscipline�察�ill´adjusted effort�察�spasmodic aims�察�these
give the quality of all my Bromstead memories。 The crowning one of
them all rises to desolating tragedy。 I remember now the wan spring
sunshine of that Sunday morning�察�the stiff feeling of best clothes
and aggressive cleanliness and formality�察�when I and my mother
returned from church to find my father dead。 He had been pruning
the grape vine。 He had never had a ladder long enough to reach the
sill of the third´floor windowsat house´painting times he had
borrowed one from the plumber who mixed his paintand he had in his
own happy´go´lucky way contrived a combination of the garden fruit
ladder with a battered kitchen table that served all sorts of odd
purposes in an outhouse。 He had stayed up this arrangement by means
of the garden roller�察�and the roller had at the critical moment
rolled。 He was lying close by the garden door with his head queerly
bent back against a broken and twisted rainwater pipe�察�an expression
of pacific contentment on his face�察�a bamboo curtain rod with a
tableknife tied to end of it�察�still gripped in his hand。 We had
been rapping for some time at the front door unable to make him
hear�察�and then we came round by the door in the side trellis into
the garden and so discovered him。
;Arthur� ─ �I remember my mother crying with the strangest break in
her voice�察 �What are you doing there�拭 �Arthur� �AndSUNDAY� �
I was coming behind her�察�musing remotely�察�when the quality of her
voice roused me。 She stood as if she could not go near him。 He had
always puzzled her so�察�he and his ways�察�and this seemed only another
enigma。 Then the truth dawned on her�察�she shrieked as if afraid of
him�察�ran a dozen steps back towards the trellis door and stopped and
clasped her ineffectual gloved hands�察�leaving me staring blankly�察�
too astonished for feeling�察�at the carelessly flung limbs。
The same idea came to me also。 I ran to her。 ;Mother� ─�I cried�察�
pale to the depths of my spirit�察 �IS HE DEAD�拭�
I had been thinking two minutes before of the cold fruit pie that
glorified our Sunday dinner´table�察�and how I might perhaps get into
the tree at the end of the garden to read in the afternoon。 Now an
immense fact had come down like a curtain and blotted out all my
childish world。 My father was lying dead before my eyes。 。 。 。 I
perceived that my mother was helpless and that things must he done。
;Mother� ─�I said�察 �we must get Doctor Beaseley��and carry him
indoors。;
CHAPTER THE THIRD
SCHOLASTIC
1
My formal education began in a small preparatory school in
Bromstead。 I went there as a day boy。 The charge for my
instruction was mainly set off by the periodic visits of my father
with a large bag of battered fossils to lecture to us upon geology。
I was one of those fortunate youngsters who take readily to school
work�察�I had a good memory�察�versatile interests and a considerable
appetite for commendation�察�and when I was barely twelve I got a
scholarship at the City Merchants School and was entrusted with a
scholar's railway season ticket to Victoria。 After my father's
death a large and very animated and solidly built uncle in tweeds
from Staffordshire�察�Uncle Minter�察�my mother's sister's husband�察�with
a remarkable accent and remarkable vowel sounds�察�who had plunged
into the Bromstead home once or twice for the night but who was
otherwise unknown to me�察�came on the scene�察�sold off the three gaunt
houses with the utmost gusto�察�invested the proceeds and my father's
life insurance money�察�and got us into a small villa at Penge within
sight of that immense facade of glass and iron�察�the Crystal Palace。
Then he retired in a mood of good´natured contempt to his native
habitat again。 We stayed at Penge until my mother's death。
School became a large part of the world to me�察�absorbing my time and
interest�察�and I never acquired that detailed and intimate knowledge
of Penge and the hilly villadom round about�察�that I have of the town
and outskirts of Bromstead。
It was a district of very much the same character�察�but it was more
completely urbanised and nearer to the centre of things�察�there were
the same unfinished roads�察�the same occasional disconcerted hedges
and trees�察�the same butcher's horse grazing under a builder's
notice´board�察�the same incidental lapses into slum。 The Crystal
Palace grounds cut off a large part of my walking radius to the west
with impassable fences and forbiddingly expensive turnstiles�察�but it
added t