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第51节

donal grant-第51节

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I told youwhat would that be?〃

〃Worse and worse; it would be sneaking。〃

〃One question more: what is faiththe big faith I meannot the
little faith between equalsthe big faith we put in one above us?〃

〃It is to go at once and do the thing he tells us to do。〃

〃If we don't; then we haven't faith in him?〃

〃No; certainly not。〃

〃But might not that be his fault?〃

〃Yesif he was not goodand so I could not trust him。 If he said I
was to do one kind of thing; and he did another kind of thing
himself; then of course I could not have faith in him。〃

〃And yet you might feel you must do what he told you!〃

〃Yes。〃

〃Would that be faith in him?〃

〃No。〃

〃Would you always do what he told you?〃

〃Not if he told me to do what it would be wrong to do。〃

〃Now tell me; Davie; what is the biggest faith of allthe faith to
put in the one only altogether good person。〃

〃You mean God; Mr。 Grant?〃

〃Whom else could I mean?〃

〃You might mean Jesus。〃

〃They are one; they mean always the same thing; do always the same
thing; always agree。 There is only one thing they don't do the same
inthey do not love the same person。〃

〃What do you mean; Mr。 Grant?〃 interrupted Arctura。

She had been listening intently: was the cloven foot of Mr。 Grant's
heresy now at last about to appear plainly?

〃I mean this;〃 answered Donal; with a smile that seemed to Arctura
such a light as she had never seen on human face; 〃that God loves
Jesus; not God; and Jesus loves God; not Jesus。 We love one another;
not ourselvesdon't we; Davie?〃

〃You do; Mr。 Grant;〃 answered Davie modestly。

〃Now tell me; Davie; what is the great big faith of allthat which
we have to put in the Father of us; who is as good not only as
thought can think; but as good as heart can wishinfinitely better
than anybody but Jesus Christ can thinkwhat is the faith to put in
him?〃

〃Oh; it is everything!〃 answered Davie。

〃But what first?〃 asked Donal。

〃First; it is to do what he tells us。〃

〃Yes; Davie: it is to learn his problems by going and doing his
will; not trying to understand things first; but trying first to do
things。 We must spread out our arms to him as a child does to his
mother when he wants her to take him; then when he sets us down;
saying; 'Go and do this or that;' we must make all the haste in us
to go and do it。 And when we get hungry to see him; we must look at
his picture。〃

〃Where is that; sir?〃

〃Ah; Davie; Davie! don't you know that yet? Don't you know that;
besides being himself; and just because he is himself; Jesus is the
living picture of God?〃

〃I know; sir! We have to go and read about him in the book。〃

〃May I ask you a question; Mr。 Grant?〃 said Arctura。

〃With perfect freedom;〃 answered Donal。 〃I only hope I may be able
to answer it。〃

〃When we read about Jesus; we have to draw for ourselves his
likeness from words; and you know what kind of a likeness the best
artist would make that way; who had never seen with his own eyes the
person whose portrait he had to paint!〃

〃I understand you quite;〃 returned Donal。 〃Some go to other men to
draw it for them; and some go to others to hear from them what they
must drawthus getting all their blunders in addition to those they
must make for themselves。 But the nearest likeness you can see of
him; is the one drawn by yourself while doing what he tells you。 He
has promised to come into those who keep his word。 He will then be
much nearer to them than in bodily presence; and such may well be
able to draw for themselves the likeness of God。But first of all;
and before everything else; mind; Davie; OBEDIENCE!〃

〃Yes; Mr。 Grant; I know;〃 said Davie。

〃Then off with you! Only think sometimes it is God who gave you your
game。〃

〃I'm going to fly my kite; Mr。 Grant。〃

〃Do。 God likes to see you fly your kite; and it is all in his March
wind it flies。 It could not go up a foot but for that。〃

Davie went。

〃You have heard that my uncle is very ill to…day!〃 said Arctura。

〃I have。 Poor man!〃 replied Donal。

〃He must be in a very peculiar condition。〃

〃Of body and mind both。 He greatly perplexes me。〃

〃You would be quite as much perplexed if you had known him as long
as I have! Never since my father's death; which seems a century ago;
have I felt safe; never in my uncle's presence at ease。 I get no
nearer to him。 It seems to me; Mr。 Grant; that the cause of
discomfort and strife is never that we are too near others; but that
we are not near enough。〃

This was a remark after Donal's own heart。

〃I understand you;〃 he said; 〃and entirely agree with you。〃

〃I never feel that my uncle cares for me except as one of the
family; and the holder of its chief property。 He would have liked me
better; perhaps; if I had been dependent on him。〃

〃How long will he be your guardian?〃 asked Donal。

〃He is no longer my guardian legally。 The time set by my father's
will ended last year。 I am three and twenty; and my own mistress。
But of course it is much better to have the head of the house with
me。 I wish he were a little more like other people!But tell me
about the ghost…music: we had not time to talk of it last night!〃

〃I got pretty near the place it came from。 But the wind blew so; and
it was so dark; that I could do nothing more then。〃

〃You will try again?〃

〃I shall indeed。〃

〃I am afraid; if you find a natural cause for it; I shall be a
little sorry。〃

〃How can there be any other than a natural cause; my lady? God and
Nature are one。 God is the causing Nature。Tell me; is not the
music heard only in stormy nights; or at least nights with a good
deal of wind?〃

〃I have heard it in the daytime!〃

〃On a still day?〃

〃I think not。 I think too I never heard it on a still summer night。〃

〃Do you think it comes in all storms?〃

〃I think not。〃

〃Then perhaps it has something to do not merely with the wind; but
with the direction of the wind!〃

〃Perhaps。 I cannot say。〃

〃That might account for the uncertainty of its visits! The
instrument may be accessible; yet its converse with the operating
power so rare that it has not yet been discovered。 It is a case in
which experiment is not permitted us: we cannot make a wind blow;
neither can we vary the direction of the wind blowing; observation
alone is left us; and that can be only at such times when the sound
is heard。〃

〃Then you can do nothing till the music comes again?〃

〃I think I can do something now; for; last night I seemed so near
the place whence the sounds were coming; that the eye may now be
able to supplement the ear; and find the music…bird silent on her
nest。 If the wind fall; as I think it will in the afternoon; I shall
go again and see whether I can find anything。 I noticed last night
that simultaneously with the sound came a change in the
windtowards the south; I think。What a night it was after I left
you!〃

〃I think;〃 said Arctura; 〃the wind has something to do with my
uncle's fits。 Was there anything very strange about it last night?
When the wind blows so angrily; I always think of that passage about
the prince of the power of the air being the spirit that works in
the children of disobedience。 Tell me what it means。〃

〃I do not know what it means;〃 answered Donal; 〃but I suppose the
epithet involves a symbol of the difference between the wind of God
that inspires the spiritual true self of man; and the wind of the
world that works by thousands of impulses and influences in the
lower; the selfish self of children that will not obey。 I will look
at the passage and see what I can make out of it。 Only the spiritual
and the natural blend so that we may one day be astonished!Would
you like to join the music…hunt; my lady?〃

〃Do you mean; go on the roof? Should I be able?〃

〃I would not have you go in the night; and the wind blowing;〃 said
Donal with a laugh; 〃but you can come and see; and judge for
yourself。 The bartizan is the only anxious place; but as I mean to
take Davie with me; you may think I do not count it very dangerous!〃

〃Will it be safe for Davie?〃

〃I can venture more with Davie than with another: he obeys in a
moment。〃

〃I will obey too if you will take me;〃 said Arctura。

〃Then; please; come to the schoolroom at four o'clock。 But we shall
not go except the wind be fallen。〃

When Davie heard what his tutor proposed; he was filled with the
restlessness of anticipation。 Often while helping Donal with his
fuel; he had gazed up at him on the roof with longing eyes; but
Donal had never let him go upon it。




CHAPTER XLI。

THE MUSIC…NEST。

The hour came; and with the very stroke of the clock; lady Arctura
and Davie were in the schoolroom。 A moment more; and they set out to
climb the spiral of Baliol's tower。

But what a different lady was Arctura this afternoon! She was
cheerful; even merrywith Davie; almost jolly。 Her soul had many
alternating lights and glooms; but it was seldom or never now so
clouded as when first Donal saw her。 In the solitude of her chamber;
where most the simple soul should be conscious of life as a
blessedness; she was yet often haunted by ghastly shapes of fear;
but there also other forms had begun to draw nigh to her; sweetest
rays of h

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