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Judith Smallweed�察�twins。 During the whole time consumed in the 

slow   growth   of   this   family   tree�察  �the   house   of   Smallweed�察  �always 

early   to   go   out   and   late   to   marry�察  �has   strengthened   itself   in   its 

practical        character�察       �has       discarded         all     amusements�察�

discountenanced          all  storybooks�察    �fairy´tales�察  �fictions�察  �and    fables�察�



Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                    402 



and   banished   all   levities   whatsoever。   Hence   the   gratifying   fact�察�

that it has had no child born to it�察�and that the complete little men 

and women whom it has produced�察�have been observed to bear a 

likeness     to  old   monkeys      with    something      depressing      on   their 

minds。 

   At the present time�察�in the dark little parlour certain feet below 

the    level   of  the   street!a      grim�察  �hard�察   �uncouth     parlour�察    �only 

ornamented        with    the   coarsest    of  baize    table´covers�察    �and    the 

hardest      of  sheet´iron    tea´trays�察   �and    offering   in   its  decorative 

character       no   bad    allegorical     representation       of   Grandfather 

Smallweed¨s mind!seated in two black horsehair porter¨s chairs�察�

one on each side of the fireplace�察�the superannuated Mr and Mrs 

Smallweed wile away the rosy hours。 On the stove are a couple of 

trivets     for   the   pots    and     kettles    which     it   is  Grandfather 

Smallweed¨s   usual   occupation   to   watch�察  �and   projecting   from   the 

chimney´piece between them is a sort of brass gallows for roasting�察�

which      he  also   superintends       when     it  is  in  action。   Under     the 

venerable Mr Smallweeds seat�察�and guarded by his spindle legs�察�is 

a drawer  in   his chair�察  �reported   to  contain   property  to  a   fabulous 

amount。   Beside   him   is   a   spare   cushion�察  �with   which   he   is   always 

provided�察  �in   order   that   he   may   have   something   to   throw   at   the 

venerable   partner   of   his   respected   age   whenever   she   makes   an 

allusion to money!a subject on which he is particularly sensitive。 

    ^And where¨s Bart�拭院�Grandfather Smallweed inquires of Judy�察�

Bart¨s twin´sister。 

    ^He an¨t come in yet�察院�says Judy。 

    ^It¨s his tea time�察�isn¨t it�拭院�

    ^No。 ̄ 

    ^How much do you mean to say it wants then�拭院�



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


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                                  Bleak House                                    403 



    ^Ten minutes。 ̄ 

    ^Hey�拭院�

    ^Ten minutes。 ̄!��Loud on the part of Judy。�� 

    ^Ho� 院�says Grandfather Smallweed。 ^Ten minutes。 ̄ 

    Grandmother Smallweed�察�who has been mumbling and shaking 

her head at the trivets�察�hearing figures mentioned�察�connects them 

with money�察�and screeches�察�like a horrible old parrot without any 

plumage�察 �Ten ten´pound notes� 院�

    Grandfather Smallweed immediately throws the cushion at her。 

    ^Drat you�察�be quite� 院�says the good old man。 

    The effect of this act of jaculation is twofold。 It not only doubles 

up   Mrs   Smallweed¨s   head   against   the   side   of   her   porter¨s   chair�察�

and causes her to present�察�when extricated by her grand´daughter�察�

a   highly    unbecoming       state  of  cap�察  �but   the   necessary    exertion 

recoils   on   Mr   Smallweed   himself�察  �whom   it   throws   back   into  his 

porter¨s chair�察�like a broken puppet。 The excellent old gentleman 

being�察�at these times�察�a mere clothes´bag with a black skull´cap on 

the top of it�察�does   not  present  a   very  animated appearance�察  �until 

he   has   undergone   the   two   operations   at   the   hands   of   his   grand´ 

daughter�察  �of   being   shaken   up   like   a   great   bottle�察  �and   poked   and 

punched   like      a   great   bolster。  Some   indication     of   a  neck  being 

developed in   him by  these   means�察  �he   and   the   sharer   of   his   life¨s 

evening again sit fronting one another in their two porter¨s chairs�察�

like a couple of sentinels long forgotten on their post by the Black 

Serjeant�察�Death。 

   Judy the twin is worthy company for these associates。 She is so 

indubitably      sister  to  Mr    Smallweed      the   younger�察   �that   the  two 

kneaded  into  one   would   hardly  make  a   young  person   of   average 

proportions�察      �while    she    so    happily     exemplifies     the    before´ 



Charles Dickens                                                     ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                     404 



mentioned   family  likeness   to   the   monkey   tribe�察  �that�察  �attired   in   a 

spangled robe and cap�察  �she might  walk   about  the   table!land   on 

the    top  of   a  barrel´organ     without   exciting   much   remark   as        an 

unusual specimen。 Under existing circumstances�察�however�察�she is 

dressed in a plain�察�spare gown of brown stuff。 

    Judy    never    owned     a  doll�察  �never    heard    of  Cinderella�察   �never 

played at any game。 She once or twice fell into children¨s company 

when she was about ten years old�察�but the children couldn¨t get on 

with Judy�察�and Judy couldn¨t  get  on   with  them。   She   seemed like 

an     animal     of   another      species�察    �and    there     was    instinctive 

repugnance on both sides。 It is very doubtful whether Judy knows 

how   to   laugh。   She   has   so   rarely   seen    the  thing   done�察   �that   the 

probabilities are strong the other way。 Of anything like a youthful 

laugh�察�she certainly can have no conception。 If she were to try one�察�

she would find her teeth in her way�察�modelling that action of her 

face�察�as she has unconsciously modelled all its other  expressions�察�

on her pattern of sordid age。 Such is Judy。 

    And   her   twin   brother   couldn¨t   wind   up   a   top   for   his   life。   He 

knows no more  of  Jack   the  Giant  Killer�察  �or  of Sinbad   the  Sailor�察�

than he knows of the people in the stars。 He could as soon play at 

leapfrog�察�or at cricket�察�as   change   into  a cricket  or  a  frog  himself。 

But�察�he is so much the better off than his sister�察�that on his narrow 

world of fact an opening has dawned�察�into such broader regions as 

lie   within    the   ken   of   Mr   Guppy。     Hence�察    �his   admiration      and 

emulation of that shining enchanter。 

    Judy�察�with a gong´like clash  and clatter�察  �sets   one   of  the   sheet´ 

iron   tea´trays   on   the   table�察  �and   arranges   cups   and   saucers。   The 

bread she puts on in an iron basket�察�and the butter ��and not much 

of it�� in a small   pewter  plate。   Grandfather  Smallweed looks   hard 



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


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                                 Bleak House                                 405 



after the tea as it is served out�察�and asks Judy where the girl is�拭�

   ^Charley�察�do you mean�拭院�says Judy。 

   ^Hey�拭院�from Grandfather Smallweed。 

   ^Charley do you mean�拭院�

   This     touches    a   spring   in   Grandmother       Smallweed�察     �who�察�

chuckling�察�as usual�察�at the trivets�察�cries!^Over the water� �Charley 

over the water�察�Charley over the water�察�over the water to Charley�察�

Charley over the water�察�over the water to Charley� 院�and becomes 

quite energetic about it。 Grandfather looks at the cushion�察�but has 

not sufficiently recovered his late exertion。 

   ^Ha� 院�he says�察�when there is silence!^if that¨s her name。   She 

eats a deal。 It would be better to allow her for her keep。 ̄ 

   Judy�察�with her brother¨s wink�察�shakes her head�察�and purses up 

her mouth into No�察�without saying it。 

   ^No�拭院�returns the old man。 ^Why not�拭院�

   ^She¨d   want   sixpence   a´day�察  �and   we   can   do   it   for   less�察院  �says 

Judy。 

   ^Sure�拭院�

   Judy answers with a nod of deepest meaning�察�and calls�察�as she 

scrapes the butter on the loaf with every precaution against waste�察�

and   cuts   it   into   slices�察   �You   Charley�察  �where   are   you�拭院  �Timidly 

obedient to the summons�察�a little girl in a rough apron and a large 

bonnet�察    �with   her  hands    covered    with   soap   and   water�察  �and   a 

scrubbing brush in one of them�察�appears�察�and curtseys。 

   ^What work are you about now�拭院�says Judy�察�making an ancient 

snap at her�察�like a very sharp old beldame。 

   ^I¨m a´cleaning the upstairs back room�察�miss�察院�replies Charley。 

   ^Mind you do it thoroughly�察�and don¨t loiter。 Shirking won¨t do 

for me。 Make haste� �Go along� 院�cries Judy�察�with a stamp upon the 



Charles Dickens 

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