bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第163节
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But here have Ada and I been perfectly forlorn and miserable；
here has your friend Caddy been coming and going late and early；
here has everyone about the house been utterly lost and dejected；
here has even poor Rick been writing—to me； too—in his anxiety
for you！”
I had read of Caddy in Ada’s letters； but not of Richard。 I told
him so。
“Why no； my dear；” he replied。 “I have thought it better not to
mention it to her。”
“And you speak of his writing to you；” said I； repeating his
emphasis。 “As if it were not natural for him to do so； Guardian； as
if he could write to a better friend！”
“He thinks he could； my love；” returned my Guardian； “and to
many a better。 The truth is； he wrote to me under a sort of protest；
while unable to write to you with any hope of an answer—wrote
coldly； haughtily； distantly； resentfully。 Well； dearest little woman；
we must look forbearingly on it。 He is not to blame。 Jarndyce and
Jarndyce has warped him out of himself； and perverted me in his
eyes。 I have known it do as bad deeds； and worse； many a time。 If
two angels could be concerned in it； I believe it would change their
nature。”
“It has not changed yours； Guardian。”
“O yes； it has； my dear；” he said； laughingly。 “It has made the
south wind easterly； I don’t know how often。 Rick mistrusts and
suspects me—goes to lawyers； and is taught to mistrust and
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suspect me。 Hears I have conflicting interests； claims clashing
against his； and what not。 Whereas； Heaven knows； that if I could
get out of the mountains of Wiglomeration on which my
unfortunate name has been so long bestowed （which I can’t）； or
could level them by the extinction of my own original right （which
I can’t； either； and no human power ever can； anyhow； I believe； to
such a pass have we got）； I would do it this hour。 I would rather
restore to poor Rick his proper nature； than be endowed with all
the money that dead suitors； broken； heart and soul； upon the
wheel of Chancery； have left unclaimed with the Accountant
General—and that’s money enough； my dear； to be cast into a
pyramid； in memory of Chancery’s transcendent wickedness。”
“Is it possible； Guardian；” I asked； amazed； “that Richard can
be suspicious of you？”
“Ah； my love； my love；” he said； “it is in the subtle poison of
such abuses to breed such diseases。 His blood is infected； and
objects lose their natural aspects in his sight。 It is not his fault。”
“But it is a terrible misfortune； Guardian。”
“It is a terrible misfortune； little woman； to be ever drawn
within the influences of Jarndyce and Jarndyce。 I know none
greater。 By little and little he has been induced to trust in that
rotten reed； and it communicates some portion of its rottenness to
everything around him。 But again； I say； with all my soul； we must
be patient with poor Rick； and not blame him。 What a troop of fine
fresh hearts； like his； have I seen in my time turned by the same
means！”
I could not help expressing something of my wonder and regret
that his benevolent disinterested intentions had prospered so
little。
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“We must not say so； Dame Durden；” he cheerfully replied；
“Ada is the happier； I hope； and that is much。 I did think that I and
both these young creatures might be friends； instead of distrustful
foes； and that we might so far counteract the suit； and prove too
strong for it。 But it was too much to expect。 Jarndyce and
Jarndyce was the curtain of Rick’s cradle。”
“But； Guardian； may we not hope that a little experience will
teach him what a false and wretched thing it is？”
“We will hope so； my Esther；” said Mr Jarndyce； “and that it
may not teach him so too late。 In any case we must not be hard on
him。 There are not many grown and matured men living while we
speak； good men too； who； if they were thrown into this same
court as suitors； would not be vitally changed and depreciated
within three years—within two—within one。 How can we stand
amazed at poor Rick？ A young man so unfortunate；” here he fell
into a lower tone； as if he were thinking aloud； “cannot at first
believe （who could？） that Chancery is what it is。 He looks to it；
flushed and fitfully； to do something with his interests； and bring
them to some settlement。 It procrastinates； disappoints； tries；
tortures him； wears out his sanguine hopes and patience； thread
by thread； but he still looks to it； and hankers after it； and finds his
whole world treacherous and hollow。 Well； well； well！ Enough of
this； my dear！”
He had supported me； as at first； all this time； and his
tenderness was so precious to me； that I leaned my head upon his
shoulder and loved him as if he had been my father。 I resolved in
my own mind in this little pause； by some means； to see Richard
when I grew strong； and try to set him right。
“There are better subjects than these；” said my Guardian； “for
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such a joyful time as the time of our dear girl’s recovery。 And I had
a commission to broach one of them； as soon as I should begin to
talk。 When shall Ada come to see you； my love？”
I had been thinking of that too。 A little in connection with the
absent mirrors； but not much； for I knew my loving girl would be
changed by no change in my looks。
“Dear Guardian；” said I； “as I have shut her out so long—
though indeed； indeed； she is like the light to me—”
“I know it well； Dame Durden； well。”
He was so good； his touch expressed such endearing
compassion and affection； and the tone of his voice carried such
comfort into my heart； that I stopped for a little while； quite
unable to go on。 “Yes； yes； you are tired；” said he。 “Rest a little。”
“As I have kept Ada out so long；” I began afresh after a short
while； “I think I should like to have my own way a little longer；
Guardian。 It would be best to be away from here before I see her。
If Charley and I were to go to some country lodging as soon as I
can move； and if I had a week there； in which to grow stronger and
to be revived by the sweet air； and to look forward to the
happiness of having Ada with me again； I think it would be better
for us。”
I hope it was not a poor thing in me to wish to be a little more
used to my altered self； before I met the eyes of the dear girl I
longed so ardently to see； but it is the truth。 I did。 He understood
me； I was sure； but I was not afraid of that。 If it were a poor thing I
knew he would pass it over。
“Our spoilt little woman；” said my Guardian； “shall have her
own way even in her inflexibility； though at the price； I know； of
tears downstairs。 And see here！ Here is Boythorn； heart of
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chivalry； breathing such ferocious vows as never were breathed on
paper before； that if you don’t go and occupy his whole house； he
having already turned out of it expressly for that purpose； by
Heaven and by earth he’ll pull it down； and not leave one brick
standing on another！”
And my Guardian put a letter in my hand； without any ordinary
beginning such as “M
