bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第146节
按键盘上方向键 ← 或 → 可快速上下翻页，按键盘上的 Enter 键可回到本书目录页，按键盘上方向键 ↑ 可回到本页顶部！
————未阅读完？加入书签已便下次继续阅读！
my room； and laid her in my bed； and sat down quietly to nurse
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
… Page 607…
Bleak House 607
her。 I told my Guardian all about it； and why I felt it was necessary
that I should seclude myself； and my reason for not seeing my
darling above all。 At first she came very often to the door； and
called to me； and even reproached me with sobs and tears； but I
wrote her a long letter； saying that she made me anxious and
unhappy； and imploring her； as she loved me； and wished my
mind to be at peace； to come no nearer than the garden。 After that；
she came beneath the window； even oftener than she had come to
the door； and； if I had learnt to love her dear sweet voice before
when we were hardly ever apart； how did I learn to love it then；
when I stood behind the window…curtain listening and replying；
but not so much as looking out！ How did I learn to love it
afterwards； when the harder time came！
They put a bed for me in our sitting…room； and by keeping the
door wide open； I turned the two rooms into one； now that Ada
had vacated that part of the house； and kept them always fresh
and airy。 There was not a servant； in or about the house； but was
so good that they would all most gladly have come to me at any
hour of the day or night； without the least fear or unwillingness；
but I thought it best to choose one worthy woman who was never
to see Ada； and whom I could trust to come and go with all
precaution。 Through her means； I got out to take the air with my
Guardian； when there was no fear of meeting Ada； and wanted for
nothing in the way of attendance； any more than in any other
respect。
And thus poor Charley sickened and grew worse； and fell into
heavy danger of death； and lay severely ill for many a long round
of day and night。 So patient she was； so uncomplaining； and
inspired by such a gentle fortitude； that very often as I sat by
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
… Page 608…
Bleak House 608
Charley； holding her head in my arms—repose would come to her；
so； when it would come to her in no other attitude—I silently
prayed to our Father in heaven that I might not forget the lesson
which this little sister taught me。
I was very sorrowful to think that Charley’s pretty looks would
change and be disfigured； even if she recovered—she was such a
child with her dimpled face—but that thought was； for the greater
part； lost in her greater peril。 When she was at the worst； and her
mind rambled again to the cares of her father’s sick bed； and the
little children； she still knew me so far as that she would be quiet
in my arms when she could lie quiet nowhere else； and murmur
out the wanderings of her mind less restlessly。 At those times I
used to think how should I ever tell the two remaining babies that
the baby who had learned of her faithful heart to be a mother to
them in their need； was dead！
There were other times when Charley knew me well； and talked
to me： telling me that she sent her love to Tom and Emma； and
that she was sure Tom would grow up to be a good man。 At those
times Charley would speak to me of what she had read to her
father as well as she could； to comfort him； of that young man
carried out to be buried； who was the only son of his mother and
she was a widow； of the ruler’s daughter raised up by the gracious
hand upon her bed of death。 And Charley told me that when her
father died； she had kneeled down and prayed in her first sorrow
that he likewise might be raised up； and given back to his poor
children； and that if she should never get better； and should die
too； she thought it likely that it might come into Tom’s mind to
offer the same prayer for her。 Then would I show Tom how those
people of old days had been brought back to life on earth； only that
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
… Page 609…
Bleak House 609
we might know our hope to be restored in Heaven！
But of all the various times there were in Charley’s illness；
there was not one when she lost the gentle qualities I have spoken
of。 And there were many； many； when I thought in the night of the
last high belief in the watching Angel； and the last higher trust in
God； on the part of her poor despised father。
And Charley did not die。 She flutteringly and slowly turned the
dangerous point； after long lingering there； and then began to
mend。 The hope that never had been given； from the first； of
Charley being in outward appearance Charley any more； soon
began to be encouraged； and even that prospered； and I saw her
growing into her old childish likeness again。
It was a great morning； when I could tell Ada all this as she
stood out in the garden； and it was a great evening when Charley
and I at last took tea together in the next room。 But； on that same
evening； I felt that I was stricken cold。
Happily for both of us； it was not until Charley was safe in bed
again and placidly asleep； that I began to think the contagion of
her illness was upon me。 I had been able easily to hide what I had
felt at tea…time； but I was past that already now； and I knew that I
was rapidly following in Charley’s steps。
I was well enough； however； to be up early in the morning； and
to return my darling’s cheerful blessing from the garden； and to
talk with her as long as usual。 But I was not free from an
impression that I had been walking about the two rooms in the
night； a little beside myself； though knowing where I was； and I
felt confused at times—with a curious sense of fulness； as if I were
becoming too large altogether。
In the evening I was so much worse that I resolved to prepare
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
… Page 610…
Bleak House 610
Charley； with which view； I said； “You’re getting quite strong；
Charley； are you not？”
“O quite！” said Charley。
“Strong enough to be told a secret； I think； Charley？”
“Quite strong enough for that； miss！” cried Charley。 But
Charley’s face fell in the height of her delight； for she saw the
secret in my face； and she came out of the great chair； and fell
upon my bosom； and said “O miss； it’s my doing！ It’s my doing！”
and a great deal more； out of the fulness of her grateful heart。
“Now； Charley；” said I； after letting her go on for a little while；
“if I am to be ill； my great trust； humanly speaking； is in you。 And
unless you are as quiet and composed for me； as you always were
for yourself； you can never fulfil it； Charley。”
“If you’ll let me cry a little longer； miss；” said Charley。 “O my
dear； my dear！ if you’ll only let me cry a little longer； O my
dear！”—how affectionately and devotedly she poured this out； as
she clung to my neck； I never can remember without tears—“I’ll
be good。”
So I let Charley cry a little longer； and it did us both good。
“Trust in me now； if you please； miss；” said Charley； quietly。 “I
am listening to everything you say。”
“It is very little at present； Charley。 I shall tell your doctor
tonight that I don’t think I am well； and that you are going to
nurse me。”
For that the poor child thanked me with her whole heart。
“And in the morning； when you hear Miss Ada in the garden； if
I should not be quite able to go to the window…curtain as usual； do
you go； Charley； and say I am asleep�
