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respectable   man   now。   Joe   Pouch¨s   widow   might   have   done   me 

good!there was something  in   her!and something  of  her!but  I 

couldn¨t make up my mind to it。 If I had had the luck to meet with 

such a wife as Mat found� 院�

    Mrs   Bagnet�察  �who   seems   in   a   virtuous   way   to   be   under   little 

reserve with a good sort of fellow�察�but to be another good   sort  of 

fellow herself for that matter�察�receives this compliment by flicking 

Mr George in the face with  a   head   of  greens�察  �and  taking  her  tub 

into the little room behind the shop。 

    ^Why�察     �Quebec�察     �my     poppet�察院    �says    George�察     �following�察    �on 

invitation�察  �into   that   apartment。   ^And   little   Malta�察  �too�   �Come   and 

kiss your Bluffy� 院�

    These      young     ladies!not      supposed       to  have    been     actually 

christened by the names applied to them�察�though always so called 

in   the   family�察  �from    the   places    of  their  birth   in   barracks!are 

respectively  employed   on   three´legged   stools�此  �the   younger   ��some 

five or six years old���察�in learning her letters out of a penny primer�此�

the elder ��eight or nine perhaps���察�in teaching her�察�and sewing with 

great assiduity。 Both hail Mr George with acclamations as an old 

friend�察   �and    after  some     kissing   and    romping     plant    their  stools 

beside him。 

    ^And how¨s young Woolwich�拭院�says Mr George。 

    ^Ah�   �There   now� 院  �cries   Mrs   Bagnet�察  �turning   about   from   her 

saucepans   ��for  she   is cooking  dinner���察  �with  a   bright  flush  on   her 



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                     533 



face。   Would   you   believe   it�拭  �Got   an   engagement   at   the   Theayter�察�

with his father�察�to play the fife in a military piece。 ̄ 

    ^Well done�察�my godson� 院�cries Mr George�察�slapping his thigh。 

    ^I   believe   you� 院  �says   Mrs   Bagnet。   ^He¨s   a   Briton。   That¨s   what 

Woolwich is。 A Briton。 ̄ 

    ^And   Mat   blows   away   at   his   bassoon�察  �and   you¨re   respectable 

civilians   one   and   all�察院  �says   Mr   George。   Family   people。   Children 

growing   up。   Mat¨s   old   mother   in   Scotland�察  �and   your   old   father 

somewhere else�察�corresponded with�察�and helped a little�察�and!well�察�

well�    �To   be   sure�察  �I  don¨t   know    why    I  shouldn¨t     be   wished    a 

hundred mile away�察�for I have not much to do with all this� 院�

    Mr George is becoming thoughtful�察�sitting before the fire in the 

whitewashed room�察�which has a sanded floor�察�and a barrack smell�察�

and  contains   nothing  superfluous�察  �and   has not   a   visible   speck   of 

dirt or dust in it�察�from the faces of Quebec and Malta to the bright 

tin   pots   and   pannikins   upon   the   dresser´shelves�察�Mr   George   is 

becoming thoughtful�察�sitting here while Mrs Bagnet is busy�察�when 

Mr    Bagnet     and    young    Woolwich       opportunely      come     home。    Mr 

Bagnet      is  an   ex´artillery    man�察   �tall  and    upright�察   �with    shaggy 

eyebrows�察  �and   whiskers   like   the   fibres   of   a   cocoa´nut�察  �not   a   hair 

upon his head�察�and a torrid complexion。 His voice�察�short�察�deep�察�and 

resonant�察�is not at all unlike the tones of the instrument to which 

he is devoted。 Indeed there may be generally observed in him an 

unbending�察�unyielding�察�brass´bound air�察�as if he were himself the 

bassoon of the human orchestra。 Young Woolwich is the type and 

model of a young drummer。 

    Both   father   and   son   salute   the   trooper   heartily。   He   saying�察  �in 

due season�察�that he has come to advise with Mr Bagnet�察�Mr Bagnet 

hospitably   declares   that   he   will   hear   of    no   business    until   after 



Charles Dickens                                                      ElecBook Classics 


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                                  Bleak House                                  534 



dinner�察�and that his friend shall not partake of his counsel�察�without 

first partaking of boiled pork and greens。 The trooper yielding to 

this invitation�察�he and Mr Bagnet�察�not to embarrass the domestic 

preparations�察�go forth to take a turn up and down the little street�察�

which they promenade with measured tread and folded arms�察�as if 

it were a rampart。 

    ^George�察院�says Mr Bagnet。 ^You know me。 It¨s my old girl that 

advises。    She    has  the   head。   But   I  never   own    to  it  before  her。 

Discipline must be maintained。 Wait till the greens is off her mind。 

Then�察�we¨ll consult。 Whatever the old girl says�察�do!do it� 院�

    ^I intend to�察�Mat�察院�replies   the   other。   ^I   would   sooner  take   her 

opinion than that of a college。 ̄ 

    ^College�察院�returns Mr Bagnet�察�in short sentences�察�bassoon´like。 

^What college could you leave!in another quarter of the world! 

with nothing but a grey cloak and   an   umbrella!to make   its   way 

home to Europe�拭�The old girl would do it tomorrow。 Did it once� 院�

    ^You are right�察院�says Mr George。 

    ^What college�察院�pursues Bagnet�察 �could you set up in life!with 

two    penn¨orth     of  white    lime!a     penn¨orth     of  fuller¨s   earth! 

ha¨porth   of   sand!and   the   rest   of   the   change   out   of   sixpence   in 

money�拭      �That¨s   what    the   old  girl  started    on。  In   the   present 

business。 ̄ 

    ^I am rejoiced to hear it¨s thriving�察�Mat。 ̄ 

    ^The    old   girl�察院 �says  Mr   Bagnet�察   �acquiescing�察     �saves。   Has   a 

stocking somewhere。 With money in it。 I never saw it。 But I know 

she¨s got it。 Wait till the greens is off her mind。 Then she¨ll set you 

up。 ̄ 

    ^She is a treasure� 院�exclaims Mr George。 

    ^She¨s more。 But I never own to it before her。 Discipline must 



Charles Dickens                                                   ElecBook Classics 


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                                    Bleak House                                     535 



be   maintained。   It   was   the   old   girl   that   brought   out   my   musical 

abilities。   I   should   have   been   in   the   artillery   now�察  �but   for   the   old 

girl。 Six years I hammered at the fiddle。 Ten at the flute。 The old 

girl said it wouldn¨t do�察�intention good�察�but want of flexibility�察�try 

the     bassoon。      The    old    girl   borrowed       a   bassoon      from     the 

bandmaster of the Rifle Regiment。 I practised in the trenches。 Got 

on�察�got another�察�got a living by it� 院�

    George remarks that she looks as fresh as a rose�察�and as sound 

as an apple。 

    ^The   old   girl�察院  �says   Mr   Bagnet   in   reply�察   �is   a   thoroughly   fine 

woman。 Consequently�察�she is like a thoroughly fine day。 Gets finer 

as she gets on。 I never saw the old girl¨s equal。 But I never own to 

it before her。 Discipline must be maintained� 院�

    Proceeding   to   converse   on   indifferent   matters�察  �they   walk   up 

and down the little street�察�keeping step and time�察�until summoned 

by   Quebec   and   Malta   to   do   justice   to   the   pork   and   greens�察  �over 

which Mrs Bagnet�察�like a military chaplain�察�says a short grace。 In 

the distribution of these comestibles�察�as in every other household 

duty�察�Mrs Bagnet develops an exact system�察�sitting with every dish 

before her�察�allotting to every portion of pork its own portion of pot´ 

liquor�察   �greens�察   �potatoes�察   �and    even   mustard�察     �and   serving    it  out 

complete。   Having   likewise   served   out   the   beer   from   a   can�察  �and 

thus    supplied     the   mess    with   all  things    necessary�察    �Mrs    Bagnet 

proceeds   to   satisfy   her   own   hunger�察  �which   is   in   a   healthy   state。 

The kit of the mess�察�if the table furniture may be so denominated�察�

is chiefly composed of utensils of horn and tin�察�that have done duty 

in    several    parts    of   the   world。     Young      Woolwich¨s       knife�察  �in 

particular�察�which is of the oyster kind�察�with the additional feature 

of   a  strong    shutting´up      movement       which     frequently     balks    the 



Charles Dickens                                                       ElecBook Classics 


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                                   Bleak House                                    536 



appetite   of  that  young  musician�察  �is   mentioned   as   having   gone   in 

various hands the complete round of foreign service。 

    The dinner done�察�Mrs Bagnet�察�assisted by the younger branches 

��who polish their own cups and platters�察�knives and forks���察�makes 

all the dinner garniture shine as brightly as before�察�and puts it all 

away�察�first sweeping the hearth to the end that Mr Bagnet and the 

visitor  may  not be   retarded in   the   smok

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