bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第113节
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with yourself。”
“I hope you will excuse my saying； sir；” returned Richard in a
fiery way； but yet respectfully； “that I think I am the best judge
about myself。”
“I hope you will excuse my saying； my dear Rick；” observed Mr
Jarndyce with the sweetest cheerfulness and good humour； “that
it’s quite natural in you to think so； but I don’t think so。 I must do
my duty； Rick； or you could never care for me in cool blood； and I
hope you will always care for me； cool and hot。”
Ada had turned so pale； that he made her sit down in his
reading…chair； and sat beside her。
“It’s nothing； my dear；” he said； “it’s nothing。 Rick and I have
only had a friendly difference； which we must state to you； for you
are the theme。 Now you are afraid of what’s coming。”
“I am not； indeed； cousin John；” replied Ada； with a smile； “if it
is to come from you。”
“Thank you； my dear。 Do you give me a minute’s calm
attention； without looking at Rick。 And； little woman； do you
likewise。 My dear girl；” putting his hand on hers； as it lay on the
side of the easy…chair； “you recollect the talk we had； we four；
when the little woman told me of a little love…affair？”
“It is not likely that either Richard or I can ever forget your
kindness； that day； cousin John。”
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“I can never forget it；” said Richard。
“And I can never forget it；” said Ada。
“So much the easier what I have to say； and so much the easier
for us to agree；” returned my Guardian； his face irradiated by the
gentleness and honour of his heart。 “Ada； my bird； you should
know that Rick has now chosen his profession for the last time。 All
that he has of certainty will be expended when he is fully
equipped。 He has exhausted his resources； and is bound
henceforward to the tree he has planted。”
“Quite true that I have exhausted my present resources； and I
am quite content to know it。 But what I have of certainty； sir；” said
Richard； “is not all I have。”
“Rick； Rick！” cried my Guardian； with a sudden terror in his
manner； and in an altered voice； and putting up his hands as if he
would have stopped his ears； “for the love of God； don’t found a
hope or expectation on the family curse！ Whatever you do on this
side the grave； never give one lingering glance towards the
horrible phantom that has haunted us so many years。 Better to
borrow； better to beg； better to die！”
We were all startled by the fervour of this warning。 Richard bit
his lip and held his breath； and glanced at me； as if he felt； and
knew that I felt too； how much he needed it。
“Ada； my dear；” said Mr Jarndyce； recovering his cheerfulness；
“these are strong words of advice； but I live in Bleak House； and
have seen a sight here。 Enough of that。 All Richard had； to start
him in the race of life； is ventured。 I recommend to him and you；
for his sake and your own； that he should depart from us with the
understanding that there is no sort of contract between you。 I
must go further。 I will be plain with you both。 You were to confide
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freely in me； and I will confide freely in you。 I ask you wholly to
relinquish； for the present； any tie but your relationship。”
“Better to say at once； sir；” returned Richard； “that you
renounce all confidence in me； and that you advise Ada to do the
same。”
“Better to say nothing of the sort； Rick； because I don’t mean
it。”
“You think I have begun ill； sir；” retorted Richard。 “I have； I
know。”
“How I hoped you would begin； and how go on； I told you when
we spoke of these things last；” said Mr Jarndyce； in a cordial and
encouraging manner。 “You have not made that beginning yet； but
there is a time for all things； and yours is not gone by—rather； it is
just now fully come。 Make a clear beginning altogether。 You two
（very young； my dears）； are cousins。 As yet； you are nothing more。
What more may come； must come of being worked out； Rick； and
no sooner。”
“You are very hard with me； sir；” said Richard。 “Harder than I
could have supposed you would be。”
“My dear boy；” said Mr Jarndyce； “I am harder with myself
when I do anything that gives you pain。 You have your remedy in
your own hands。 Ada； it is better for him that he should be free；
and that there should be no youthful engagement between you。
Rick； it is better for her； much better； you owe it to her。 Come！
Each of you will do what is best for the other； if not what is best for
yourselves。”
“Why is it best； sir？” returned Richard； hastily。 “It was not；
when we opened our hearts to you。 You did not say so； then。”
“I have had experience since。 I don’t blame you； Rick—but I
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have had experience since。”
“You mean of me； sir。”
“Well！ Yes； of both of you；” said Mr Jarndyce； kindly。 “The time
is not come for your standing pledged to one another。 It is not
right； and I must not recognise it。 Come； come； my young cousins；
begin afresh！ Bygones shall be bygones； and a new page turned for
you to write your lives in。”
Richard gave an anxious glance at Ada； but said nothing。
“I have avoided saying one word to either of you； or to Esther；”
said Mr Jarndyce； “until now； in order that we might be open as
the day； and all on equal terms。 I now affectionately advise； I now
most earnestly entreat； you two； to part as you came here。 Leave
all else to time； truth； and steadfastness。 If you do otherwise； you
will do wrong； and you will have made me do wrong； in ever
bringing you together。”
A long silence succeeded。
“Cousin Richard；” said Ada； then； raising her blue eyes tenderly
to his face； “after what our cousin John has said； I think no choice
is left us。 Your mind may be quite at ease about me； for you will
leave me here under his care； and will be sure that I can have
nothing to wish for； quite sure； if I guide myself by his advice。 I—I
don’t doubt； cousin Richard；” said Ada； a little confused； “that you
were very fond of me； and I—I don’t think you will fall in love with
anybody else。 But I should like you to consider well about it； too；
as I should like you to be in all things very happy。 You may trust in
me； cousin Richard。 I am not at all changeable； but I am not
unreasonable； and should never blame you。 Even cousins may be
sorry to part； and in truth I am very； very sorry； Richard； though I
know it’s for your welfare。 I shall always think of you
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affectionately； and often talk of you with Esther； and—and
perhaps you will sometimes think a little of me； cousin Richard。 So
now；” said Ada； going up to him and giving him her trembling
hand； “we are only cousins again； Richard—for the time perhaps—
and I pray for a blessing on my dear cousin whereever he goes！”
It was strange to me that Richard should not be able to forgive
my Guardian； for entertaining the very same opinion of him which
he himself had expressed of himself in much stronger terms to me。
But； it was certainly the case。 I observed； with great regret； that
from this hour he never was as free and open with Mr Jarndyce as
he had been before。 He had every reason given him to be so； but
he was not； and； solely on his side； an estrangement began to arise
between them。
In the bus
