bleak house(凄凉的房子)-第10节
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uncertain and unreal air of every thing at Greenleaf （Miss Donny’s
house）； that afternoon！
But I soon became used to it。 I was so adapted to the routine of
Greenleaf before long； that I seemed to have been there a great
while； and almost to have dreamed； rather than to have really
lived； my old life at my godmother’s。 Nothing could be more
precise； exact； and orderly； than Greenleaf。 There was a time for
everything all round the dial of the clock； and everything was done
at its appointed moment。
We were twelve boarders； and there were two Miss Donnys；
twins。 It was understood that I would have to depend； by…and…by；
on my qualifications as a governess； and I was not only instructed
in everything that was taught at Greenleaf； but was very soon
engaged in helping to instruct others。 Although I was treated in
every other respect like the rest of the school； this single difference
was made in my case from the first。 As I began to know more； I
taught more； and so in course of time I had plenty to do； which I
was very fond of doing； because it made the dear girls fond of me。
At last； whenever a new pupil came who was a little downcast and
unhappy； she was so sure—indeed I don’t know why—to make a
friend of me； that all newcomers were confided to my care。 They
said I was so gentle； but I am sure they were！ I often thought of the
resolution I had made on my birthday； to try to be industrious；
contented and true…hearted； and to do some good to some one； and
win some love if I could； and indeed； indeed； I felt almost ashamed
to have done so little and have won so much。
I passed at Greenleaf six happy； quiet years。 I never saw in any
face there； thank Heaven； on my birthday； that it would have been
better if I had never been born。 When the day came round； it
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brought me so many tokens of affectionate remembrance that my
room was beautiful with them from New Year’s Day to Christmas。
In those six years I had never been away； except on visits at
holiday time in the neighbourhood。 After the first six months or so；
I had taken Miss Donny’s advice in reference to the propriety of
writing to Mr Kenge； to say that I was happy and grateful； and
with her approval I had written such a letter。 I had received a
formal answer acknowledging its receipt； and saying； “We note the
contents thereof； which shall be duly communicated to our client。”
After that； I sometimes heard Miss Donny and her sister mention
how regularly my accounts were paid； and about twice a year I
ventured to write a similar letter。 I always received by return of
post exactly the same answer； in the same round hand； with the
signature of Kenge and Carboy in another writing； which I
supposed to be Mr Kenge’s。
It seems so curious to me to be obliged to write all this about
myself！ As if this narrative were the narrative of my life！ But my
little body will soon fall into the background now。
Six quiet years （I find I am saying it for the second time） I had
passed at Greenleaf； seeing in those around me； as it might be in a
looking…glass； every stage of my own growth and change there；
when； one November morning； I received this letter。 I omit the
date。
Old Square； Lincoln’s Inn。
Madam；
Jarndyce and Jarndyce。
Our clt Mr Jarndyce being abt to rece into his house； under an
Order of the Ct of Chy； a Ward of the Ct in this cause； for whom he
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wishes to secure an elgble compn； directs us to inform you that he
will be glad of your serces in the afsd capacity。
We have arrngd for your being forded； carriage free； pr eight
o’clock coach from Reading； on Monday morning next； to White
Horse Cellar； Piccadilly； London； where one of our clks will be in
waiting to convey you to our offe as above。
We are； Madam； Your obedt Servts；
Kenge and Carboy。
Miss Esther Summerson。
O； never； never； never shall I forget the emotion this letter
caused in the house！ It was so tender in them to care so much for
me； it was so gracious in that Father who had not forgotten me； to
have made my orphan way so smooth and easy； and to have
inclined so many youthful natures towards me； that I could hardly
bear it。 Not that I would have had them less sorry—I am afraid
not； but the pleasure of it and the pain of it； and the pride and joy
of it； and the humble regret of it； were so blended that my heart
seemed almost breaking while it was full of rapture。
The letter gave me only five days’ notice of my removal。 When
every minute added to the proofs of love and kindness that were
given me in those five days； and when at last the morning came；
and when they took me through all the rooms that I might see
them for the last time； and when some cried； “Esther； dear； say
goodbye to me here； at my bedside； where you first spoke so
kindly to me！” and when others asked me only to write their
names； “With Esther’s love；” and when they all surrounded me
with their parting presents； and clung to me weeping； and cried；
“What shall we do when dear； dear Esther’s gone！” and when I
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tried to tell them how forbearing； and how good they had all been
to me； and how I blessed； and thanked them every one； what a
heart I had！
And when the two Miss Donnys grieved as much to part with
me； as the least among them； and when the maids said； “Bless you；
miss； wherever you go！” and when the ugly lame old gardener；
who I thought had hardly noticed me in all those years； came
panting after the coach to give me a little nosegay of geraniums；
and told me I had been the light of his eyes—indeed the old man
said so！—what a heart I had then！
And could I help it； if with all this； and the coming to the little
school； and the unexpected sight of the poor children outside
waving their hats and bonnets to me； and of a grey…haired
gentleman and lady； whose daughter I had helped to teach； and at
whose house I had visited （who were said to be the proudest
people in all that country）； caring for nothing； but calling out；
“Good…bye； Esther。 May you be very happy！” could I help it if I was
quite bowed down in the coach by myself； and said； “O； I am so
thankful； I am so thankful！” many times over！
But of course I soon considered that I must not take tears
where I was going； after all that had been done for me。 Therefore；
of course； I made myself sob less； and persuaded myself to be
quiet； by saying very often； “Esther； now you really must！ This will
not do！” I cheered myself up pretty well at last； though I am afraid
I was longer about it than I ought to have been； and when I had
cooled my eyes with lavender water； it was time to watch for
London。
I was quite persuaded that we were there； when we were ten
miles off； and when we really were there； that we should never get
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Bleak House
