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The Story of a Bad Boy

by Thomas Bailey Aldrich




Chapter One

In Which I Introduce Myself



This is the story of a bad boy。 Well�察�not such a very bad�察�but a pretty bad boy�察�and I ought to know�察�for I am�察�or rather I was�察�that boy myself。

Lest the title should mislead the reader�察�I hasten to assure him here that I have no dark confessions to make。 I call my story the story of a bad boy�察�partly to distinguish myself from those faultless young gentlemen who generally figure in narratives of this kind�察�and partly because I really was not a cherub。 I may truthfully say I was an amiable�察�impulsive lad�察�blessed with fine digestive powers�察�and no hypocrite。 I didn't want to be an angel and with the angels stand�察�I didn't think the missionary tracts presented to me by the Rev。 Wibird Hawkins were half so nice as Robinson Crusoe�察�and I didn't send my little pocket´money to the natives of the Feejee Islands�察�but spent it royally in peppermint´drops and taffy candy。 In short�察�I was a real human boy�察�such as you may meet anywhere in New England�察�and no more like the impossible boy in a storybook than a sound orange is like one that has been sucked dry。 But let us begin at the beginning。

Whenever a new scholar came to our school�察�I used to confront him at recess with the following words�此 �My name's Tom Bailey�察�what's your name�拭─�If the name struck me favorably�察�I shook hands with the new pupil cordially�察�but if it didn't�察�I would turn on my heel�察�for I was particular on this point。 Such names as Higgins�察�Wiggins�察�and Spriggins were deadly affronts to my ear�察�while Langdon�察�Wallace�察�Blake�察�and the like�察�were passwords to my confidence and esteem。

Ah me� �some of those dear fellows are rather elderly boys by this time´lawyers�察�merchants�察�sea´captains�察�soldiers�察�authors�察�what not�拭�Phil Adams ��a special good name that Adams�� is consul at Shanghai�察�where I picture him to myself with his head closely shaved´he never had too much hair´and a long pigtail banging down behind。 He is married�察�I hear�察�and I hope he and she that was Miss Wang Wang are very happy together�察�sitting cross´legged over their diminutive cups of tea in a skyblue tower hung with bells。 It is so I think of him�察�to me he is henceforth a jewelled mandarin�察�talking nothing but broken China。 Whitcomb is a judge�察�sedate and wise�察�with spectacles balanced on the bridge of that remarkable nose which�察�in former days�察�was so plentifully sprinkled with freckles that the boys christened him Pepper Whitcomb。 just to think of little Pepper Whitcomb being a judge� �What would be do to me now�察�I wonder�察�if I were to sing out ;Pepper� ─�some day in court�拭�Fred Langdon is in California�察�in the native´wine business´he used to make the best licorice´water I ever tasted� �Binny Wallace sleeps in the Old South Burying´Ground�察�and Jack Harris�察�too�察�is dead´Harris�察�who commanded us boys�察�of old�察�in the famous snow´ball battles of Slatter's Hill。 Was it yesterday I saw him at the head of his regiment on its way to join the shattered Army of the Potomac�拭�Not yesterday�察�but six years ago。 It was at the battle of the Seven Pines。 Gallant Jack Harris�察�that never drew rein until he had dashed into the Rebel battery� �So they found him´lying across the enemy's guns。

How we have parted�察�and wandered�察�and married�察�and died� �I wonder what has become of all the boys who went to the Temple Grammar School at Rivermouth when I was a youngster�拭 �All�察�all are gone�察�the old familiar faces� �

It is with no ungentle hand I summon them back�察�for a moment�察�from that Past which has closed upon them and upon me。 How pleasantly they live again in my memory� �Happy�察�magical Past�察�in whose fairy atmosphere even Conway�察�mine ancient foe�察�stands forth transfigured�察�with a sort of dreamy glory encircling his bright red hair��

With the old school formula I commence these sketches of my boyhood。 My name is Tom Bailey�察�what is yours�察�gentle reader�拭�I take for granted it is neither Wiggins nor Spriggins�察�and that we shall get on famously together�察�and be capital friends forever。







Chapter Two

In Which I Entertain Peculiar Views



I was born at Rivermouth�察�but�察�before I had a chance to become very well acquainted with that pretty New England town�察�my parents removed to New Orleans�察�where my father invested his money so securely in the banking business that be was never able to get any of it out again。 But of this hereafter。

I was only eighteen months old at the time of the removal�察�and it didn't make much difference to me where I was�察�because I was so small�察�but several years later�察�when my father proposed to take me North to be educated�察�I had my own peculiar views on the subject。 I instantly kicked over the little Negro boy who happened to be standing by me at the moment�察�and�察�stamping my foot violently on the floor of the piazza�察�declared that I would not be taken away to live among a lot of Yankees��

You see I was what is called ;a Northern man with Southern principles。; I had no recollection of New England�此�my earliest memories were connected with the South�察�with Aunt Chloe�察�my old Negro nurse�察�and with the great ill´kept garden in the centre of which stood our house´a whitewashed stone house it was�察�with wide verandas´shut out from the street by lines of orange�察�fig�察�and magnolia trees。 I knew I was born at the North�察�but hoped nobody would find it out。 I looked upon the misfortune as something so shrouded by time and distance that maybe nobody remembered it。 I never told my schoolmates I was a Yankee�察�because they talked about the Yankees in such a scornful way it made me feel that it was quite a disgrace not to be born in Louisiana�察�or at least in one of the Border States。 And this impression was strengthened by Aunt Chloe�察�who said�察 �dar wasn't no gentl'men in the Norf no way�察─�and on one occasion terrified me beyond measure by declaring that�察 �if any of dem mean whites tried to git her away from marster�察�she was jes'gwine to knock 'em on de head wid a gourd� �

The way this poor creature's eyes flashed�察�and the tragic air with which she struck at an imaginary ;mean white�察─�are among the most vivid things in my memory of those days。

To be frank�察�my idea of the North was about as accurate as that entertained by the well´educated Englishmen of the present day concerning America。 I supposed the inhabitants were divided into two classes´Indians and white people�察�that the Indians occasionally dashed down on New York�察�and scalped any woman or child ��giving the preference to children�� whom they caught lingering in the outskirts after nightfall�察�that the white men were either hunters or schoolmasters�察�and that it was winter pretty much all the year round。 The prevailing style of architecture I took to be log´cabins。

With this delightful picture of Northern civilization in my eye�察�the reader will easily understand my terror at the bare thought of being transported to Rivermouth to school�察�and possibly will forgive me for kicking over little black Sam�察�and otherwise misconducting myself�察�when my father announced his determination to me。 As for kicking little Sam´I always did that�察�more or less gently�察�when anything went wrong with me。

My father was greatly perplexed and troubled by this unusually violent outbreak�察�and especially by the real consternation which be saw written in every line of my countenance。 As little black Sam picked himself up�察�my father took my hand in his and led me thoughtfully to the library。

I can see him now as he leaned back in the bamboo chair and questioned me。 He appeared strangely agitated on learning the nature of my objections to going North�察�and proceeded at once to knock down all my pine log houses�察�and scatter all the Indian tribes with which I had populated the greater portion of the Eastern and Middle States。

;Who on earth�察�Tom�察�has filled your brain with such silly stories�拭─�asked my father�察�wiping the tears from his eyes。

;Aunt Chloe�察�sir�察�she told me。;

;And you really thought your grandfather wore a blanket embroidered with beads�察�and ornamented his leggins with the scalps of his enemies�拭�

;Well�察�sir�察�I didn't think that exactly。;

;Didn't think that exactly�拭�Tom�察�you will be the death of me。;

He hid his face in his handkerchief�察�and�察�when he looked up�察�he seemed to have been suffering acutely。 I was deeply moved myself�察�though I did not clearly understand what I had said or done to cause him to feel so badly。 Perhaps I had hurt his feelings by thinking it even possible that Grandfather Nutter was an Indian warrior。

My father devoted that evening and several subsequent evenings to giving me a clear and succinct account of New England�察�its early struggles�察�its progress�察�and its present condition´faint and confused glimmerings of all which I had obtained at school�察�where history had never been a favorite pursuit of mine。

I was no longer unwilling to go North�察�on the contrary�察�the proposed journey to a new world full of wonders kept me awake nights。 I promised myself all sorts of fun and adventures�察�though I was not entirely at rest in my mind touching the savages�察�and secretly resolved to go on board the ship´the journey was to be made by sea´with a certain little brass pistol in my trousers´pocket�察�in case of any di

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