the house of pride(傲慢之家)-第25节
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his enthusiasm led him to scatter the Gospel。
One of my earliest and strongest impressions was of the ignorance of
other people。 I had read and absorbed Washington Irving's 〃Alhambra〃
before I was nine； but could never understand how it was that the other
ranchers knew nothing about it。 Later I concluded that this ignorance
was peculiar to the country； and felt that those who lived in cities would
not be so dense。 One day a man from the city came to the ranch。 He
wore shiny shoes and a cloth coat； and I felt that here was a good chance
for me to exchange thoughts with an enlightened mind。 From the
bricks of an old fallen chimney I had built an Alhambra of my own；
towers； terraces； and all were complete； and chalk inscriptions marked
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the different sections。 Here I led the city man and questioned him about
〃The Alhambra；〃 but he was as ignorant as the man on the ranch； and
then I consoled myself with the thought that there were only two clever
people in the worldWashington Irving and myself。
My other reading…matter at that time consisted mainly of dime
novels； borrowed from the hired men； and newspapers in which the
servants gloated over the adventures of poor but virtuous shop… girls。
Through reading such stuff my mind was necessarily ridiculously
conventional； but being very lonely I read everything that came my way；
and was greatly impressed by Ouida's story 〃Signa；〃 which I devoured
regularly for a couple of years。 I never knew the finish until I grew up；
for the closing chapters were missing from my copy； so I kept on
dreaming with the hero； and； like him； unable to see Nemesis； at the end。
My work on the ranch at one time was to watch the bees； and as I sat
under a tree from sunrise till late in the afternoon； waiting for the
swarming； I had plenty of time to read and dream。 Livermore Valley
was very flat； and even the hills around were then to me devoid of
interest； and the only incident to break in on my visions was when I gave
the alarm of swarming； and the ranch folks rushed out with pots； pans；
and buckets of water。 I think the opening line of 〃Signa〃 was 〃It was
only a little lad；〃 yet he had dreams of becoming a great musician； and
having all Europe at his feet。 Well； I was only a little lad； too； but why
could not I become what 〃Signa〃 dreamed of being？
Life on a Californian ranch was then to me the dullest possible
existence； and every day I thought of going out beyond the sky…line to
see the world。 Even then there were whispers； promptings； my mind
inclined to things beautiful； although my environment was unbeautiful。
The hills and valleys around were eyesores and aching pits； and I never
loved them till I left them。
Before I was eleven I left the ranch and came to Oakland； where I
spent so much of my time in the Free Public Library； eagerly reading
everything that came to hand； that I developed the first stages of St。
Vitus' dance from lack of exercise。 Disillusions quickly followed； as I
learned more of the world。 At this time I made my living as a newsboy；
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selling papers in the streets； and from then on until I was sixteen I had a
thousand and one different occupations work and school； school and
workand so it ran。
* * *
Then the adventure…lust was strong within me； and I left home。 I
didn't run； I just leftwent out in the bay； and joined the oyster pirates。
The days of the oyster pirates are now past； and if I had got my dues for
piracy； I would have been given five hundred years in prison。 Later； I
shipped as a sailor on a schooner； and also took a turn at salmon fishing。
Oddly enough； my next occupation was on a fish…patrol； where I was
entrusted with the arrest of any violators of the fishing laws。 Numbers
of lawless Chinese； Greeks； and Italians were at that time engaged in
illegal fishing； and many a patrolman paid his life for his interference。
My only weapon on duty was a steel table…fork； but I felt fearless and a
man when I climbed over the side of a boat to arrest some marauder。
Subsequently I shipped before the mast and sailed for the Japanese
coast on a seal…hunting expedition； later going to Behring Sea。 After
sealing for seven months I came back to California and took odd jobs at
coal shovelling and longshoring and also in a jute factory； where I
worked from six in the morning until seven at night。 I had planned to
join the same lot for another sealing trip the following year； but
somehow I missed them。 They sailed away on the Mary Thomas；
which was lost with all hands。
In my fitful school…days I had written the usual compositions； which
had been praised in the usual way； and while working in the jute mills I
still made an occasional try。 The factory occupied thirteen hours of my
day； and being young and husky； I wanted a little time for myself； so
there was little left for composition。 The San Francisco Call offered a
prize for a descriptive article。 My mother urged me to try for it； and I
did； taking for my subject 〃Typhoon off the Coast of Japan。〃 Very tired
and sleepy； knowing I had to be up at half…past five； I began the article at
midnight and worked straight on until I had written two thousand words；
the limit of the article； but with my idea only half worked out。 The
next night； under the same conditions； I continued； adding another two
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thousand words before I finished； and then the third night I spent in
cutting out the excess； so as to bring the article within the conditions of
the contest。 The first prize came to me； and the second and third went
to students of the Stanford and Berkeley Universities。
My success in the San Francisco Call competition seriously turned my
thoughts to writing； but my blood was still too hot for a settled routine；
so I practically deferred literature； beyond writing a little gush for the
Call； which that journal promptly rejected。
I tramped all through the United States； from California to Boston；
and up and down； returning to the Pacific coast by way of Canada；
where I got into jail and served a term for vagrancy； and the whole
tramping experience made me become a Socialist。 Previously I had
been impressed by the dignity of labour； and； without having read
Carlyle or Kipling； I had formulated a gospel of work which put theirs in
the shade。 Work was everything。 It was sanctification and salvation。
The pride I took in a hard day's work well done would be inconceivable
to you。 I was as faithful a wage…slave as ever a capitalist exploited。
In short； my joyous individualism was dominated by the orthodox
bourgeois ethics。 I had fought my way from the open west； where men
bucked big and the job hunted the man； to the congested labour centres
of the eastern states； where men were small potatoes and hunted the job
for all they were worth； and I found myself looking upon life
