don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第75节

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taking　your　life。　Ill　betide　my　master；　Anselmo；　for　giving　such
authority　in　his　house　to　this　shameless　fellow！　And　supposing　you
kill　him；　senora；　as　I　suspect　you　mean　to　do；　what　shall　we　do　with
him　when　he　is　dead？〃
　　〃What；　my　friend？〃　replied　Camilla；　〃we　shall　leave　him　for
Anselmo　to　bury　him；　for　in　reason　it　will　be　to　him　a　light　labour　to
hide　his　own　infamy　under　ground。　Summon　him；　make　haste；　for　all
the　time　I　delay　in　taking　vengeance　for　my　wrong　seems　to　me　an
offence　against　the　loyalty　I　owe　my　husband。〃
　　Anselmo　was　listening　to　all　this；　and　every　word　that　Camilla
uttered　made　him　change　his　mind；　but　when　he　heard　that　it　was
resolved　to　kill　Lothario　his　first　impulse　was　to　come　out　and　show
himself　to　avert　such　a　disaster；　but　in　his　anxiety　to　see　the
issue　of　a　resolution　so　bold　and　virtuous　he　restrained　himself；
intending　to　come　forth　in　time　to　prevent　the　deed。　At　this　moment
Camilla；　throwing　herself　upon　a　bed　that　was　close　by；　swooned
away；　and　Leonela　began　to　weep　bitterly；　exclaiming；　〃Woe　is　me！　that
I　should　be　fated　to　have　dying　here　in　my　arms　the　flower　of　virtue
upon　earth；　the　crown　of　true　wives；　the　pattern　of　chastity！〃　with
more　to　the　same　effect；　so　that　anyone　who　heard　her　would　have　taken
her　for　the　most　tender…hearted　and　faithful　handmaid　in　the　world；
and　her　mistress　for　another　persecuted　Penelope。
　　Camilla　was　not　long　in　recovering　from　her　fainting　fit　and　on
coming　to　herself　she　said；　〃Why　do　you　not　go；　Leonela；　to　call
hither　that　friend；　the　falsest　to　his　friend　the　sun　ever　shone
upon　or　night　concealed？　Away；　run；　haste；　speed！　lest　the　fire　of
my　wrath　burn　itself　out　with　delay；　and　the　righteous　vengeance
that　I　hope　for　melt　away　in　menaces　and　maledictions。〃
　　〃I　am　just　going　to　call　him；　senora；〃　said　Leonela；　〃but　you　must
first　give　me　that　dagger；　lest　while　I　am　gone　you　should　by　means　of
it　give　cause　to　all　who　love　you　to　weep　all　their　lives。〃
　　〃Go　in　peace；　dear　Leonela；　I　will　not　do　so；〃　said　Camilla；　〃for
rash　and　foolish　as　I　may　be；　to　your　mind；　in　defending　my　honour；
I　am　not　going　to　be　so　much　so　as　that　Lucretia　who　they　say　killed
herself　without　having　done　anything　wrong；　and　without　having　first
killed　him　on　whom　the　guilt　of　her　misfortune　lay。　I　shall　die；　if
I　am　to　die；　but　it　must　be　after　full　vengeance　upon　him　who　has
brought　me　here　to　weep　over　audacity　that　no　fault　of　mine　gave　birth
to。〃
　　Leonela　required　much　pressing　before　she　would　go　to　summon
Lothario；　but　at　last　she　went；　and　while　awaiting　her　return
Camilla　continued；　as　if　speaking　to　herself；　〃Good　God！　would　it
not　have　been　more　prudent　to　have　repulsed　Lothario；　as　I　have　done
many　a　time　before；　than　to　allow　him；　as　I　am　now　doing；　to　think
me　unchaste　and　vile；　even　for　the　short　time　I　must　wait　until　I
undeceive　him？　No　doubt　it　would　have　been　better；　but　I　should　not　be
avenged；　nor　the　honour　of　my　husband　vindicated；　should　he　find　so
clear　and　easy　an　escape　from　the　strait　into　which　his　depravity
has　led　him。　Let　the　traitor　pay　with　his　life　for　the　temerity　of　his
wanton　wishes；　and　let　the　world　know　（if　haply　it　shall　ever　come
to　know）　that　Camilla　not　only　preserved　her　allegiance　to　her
husband；　but　avenged　him　of　the　man　who　dared　to　wrong　him。　Still；　I
think　it　might　be　better　to　disclose　this　to　Anselmo。　But　then　I
have　called　his　attention　to　it　in　the　letter　I　wrote　to　him　in　the
country；　and；　if　he　did　nothing　to　prevent　the　mischief　I　there
pointed　out　to　him；　I　suppose　it　was　that　from　pure　goodness　of
heart　and　trustfulness　he　would　not　and　could　not　believe　that　any
thought　against　his　honour　could　harbour　in　the　breast　of　so　stanch
a　friend；　nor　indeed　did　I　myself　believe　it　for　many　days；　nor　should
I　have　ever　believed　it　if　his　insolence　had　not　gone　so　far　as　to
make　it　manifest　by　open　presents；　lavish　promises；　and　ceaseless
tears。　But　why　do　I　argue　thus？　Does　a　bold　determination　stand　in
need　of　arguments？　Surely　not。　Then　traitors　avaunt！　Vengeance　to　my
aid！　Let　the　false　one　come；　approach；　advance；　die；　yield　up　his
life；　and　then　befall　what　may。　Pure　I　came　to　him　whom　Heaven
bestowed　upon　me；　pure　I　shall　leave　him；　and　at　the　worst　bathed　in
my　own　chaste　blood　and　in　the　foul　blood　of　the　falsest　friend　that
friendship　ever　saw　in　the　world；〃　and　as　she　uttered　these　words
she　paced　the　room　holding　the　unsheathed　dagger；　with　such
irregular　and　disordered　steps；　and　such　gestures　that　one　would
have　supposed　her　to　have　lost　her　senses；　and　taken　her　for　some
violent　desperado　instead　of　a　delicate　woman。
　　Anselmo；　hidden　behind　some　tapestries　where　he　had　concealed
himself；　beheld　and　was　amazed　at　all；　and　already　felt　that　what　he
had　seen　and　heard　was　a　sufficient　answer　to　even　greater　suspicions；
and　he　would　have　been　now　well　pleased　if　the　proof　afforded　by
Lothario's　coming　were　dispensed　with；　as　he　feared　some　sudden
mishap；　but　as　he　was　on　the　point　of　showing　himself　and　coming　forth
to　embrace　and　undeceive　his　wife　he　paused　as　he　saw　Leonela
returning；　leading　Lothario。　Camilla　when　she　saw　him；　drawing　a
long　line　in　front　of　her　on　the　floor　with　the　dagger；　said　to　him；
〃Lothario；　pay　attention　to　what　I　say　to　thee：　if　by　any　chance
thou　darest　to　cross　this　line　thou　seest；　or　even　approach　it；　the
instant　I　see　thee　attempt　it　that　same　instant　will　I　pierce　my　bosom
with　this　dagger　that　I　hold　in　my　hand；　and　before　thou　answerest
me　a　word　desire　thee　to　listen　to　a　few　from　me；　and　afterwards
thou　shalt　reply　as　may　please　thee。　First；　I　desire　thee　to　tell
me；　Lothario；　if　thou　knowest　my　husband　Anselmo；　and　in　what　light
thou　regardest　him；　and　secondly　I　desire　to　know　if　thou　knowest　me
too。　Answer　me　this；　without　embarrassment　or　reflecting　deeply　what
thou　wilt　answer；　for　they　are　no　riddles　I　put　to　thee。〃
　　Lothario　was　not　so　dull　but　that　from　the　first　moment　when　Camilla
directed　him　to　make　Anselmo　hide　himself　he　understood　what　she
intended　to　do；　and　therefore　he　fell　in　with　her　idea　so　readily
and　promptly　that　between　them　they　made　the　imposture　look　more
true　than　truth；　so　he　answered　her　thus：　〃I　did　not　think；　fair
Camilla；　that　thou　wert　calling　me　to　ask　questions　so　remote　from　the
object　with　which　I　come；　but　if　it　is　to　defer　the　promised　reward
thou　art　doing　so；　thou　mightst　have　put　it　off　still　longer；　for
the　longing　for　happiness　gives　the　more　distress　the　nearer　comes　the
hope　of　gaining　it；　but　lest　thou　shouldst　say　that　I　do　not　answer
thy　questions；　I　say　that　I　know　thy　husband　Anselmo；　and　that　we　have
known　each　other　from　our　earliest　years；　I　will　not　speak　of　what
thou　too　knowest；　of　our　friendship；　that　I　may　not　compel　myself　to
testify　against　the　wrong　that　love；　the　mighty　excuse　for　greater
errors；　makes　me　inflict　upon　him。　Thee　I　know　and　hold　in　the　same
estimation　as　he　does；　for　were　it　not　so　I　had　not　for　a　lesser　prize
acted　in　opposition　to　what　I　owe　to　my　station　and　the　holy　laws　of
true　friendship；　now　broken　and　violated　by　me　through　that　powerful
enemy；　love。〃
　　〃If　thou　dost　confess　that；〃　returned　Camilla；　〃mortal　enemy　of
all　that　rightly　deserves　to　be　loved；　with　what　face　dost　thou　dare
to　come　before　one　whom　thou　knowest　to　be　the　mirror　wherein　he　is
reflected　on　whom　thou　shouldst　look　to　see　how　unworthily　thou　him？
But；　woe　is　me；　I　now　comprehend　what　has　made　thee　give　so　little
heed　to　what　thou　owest　to　thyself；　it　must　have　been　some　freedom
of　mine；　for　I　will　not　call　it　immodesty；　as　it　did　not　proceed
from　any　deliberate　intention；　but　from　some　heedlessness　such　as
women　are　guilty　of　through　inadvertence　when　they　think　they　have
no　occasion　for　reserve。　But　tell　me；　traitor；　when　did　I　by　word　or
sign　give　a　reply　to　thy　prayers　that　could　awaken　in　thee　a　shadow　of
hope　of　attaining　thy　base　wishes？　When　were　not　thy　professions　of
love　sternly　and　scornfully　rejected　and　rebuked？　When　were　thy
frequent　pledges　and　still　more　frequent　gifts　believed　or　accepted？
But　as　I　am　persuaded　that　no　one　can　long　persevere　in　the　attempt　to
win　love　unsustained　by　some　hope；　I　am　willing　to　attribute　to　myself
the　blame　of　thy　assurance；　for　no　doubt　some　thoughtlessness　of
mine　has　all　this　time　fostered　thy　hopes；　and　therefore　will　I　punish
myself　and　inflict　upon　myself　the　penalty　thy　guilt　deserves。　And
that　thou　mayest　see　that　being　so　relentless　to　myself　I　cannot
possibly　be　otherwise　to　thee；　I　have　summoned　thee　to　be　a　witness　of
the　sacrifice　I　mean　to　offer　to　the　injured　honour　of　my　honoured
husband；　wronged　by　thee　with　all　the　assiduity　thou　wert　capable
of；　and　by　me　too　through　want　of　caution　in　avoiding　every
occasion；　if　I　have　given　any；　of　encouraging　and　sanctioning　thy　base
designs。　Once　more　I　say　the　suspicion　in　my　mind　that　some　imprudence
of　mine　has　engendered　these　lawless　thoughts　in　thee；　is　what
causes　me　most　distress　and　what　I　desire　most　to　punish　with　my　own
hands；　for　were　any　other　instrument　of　punishment　employed　my　error
might　become　perhaps　more　widely　known；　but　before　I　do　so；　in　my
death　I