don quixote(堂·吉珂德)-第52节
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I escape from this evil I shall fall into another still greater；
perhaps they will set me down as a weak…minded man； or； what is worse；
one devoid of reason； nor would it be any wonder； for I myself can
perceive that the effect of the recollection of my misfortunes is so
great and works so powerfully to my ruin； that in spite of myself I
become at times like a stone； without feeling or consciousness； and
I come to feel the truth of it when they tell me and show me proofs of
the things I have done when the terrible fit overmasters me； and all I
can do is bewail my lot in vain； and idly curse my destiny； and
plead for my madness by telling how it was caused； to any that care to
hear it； for no reasonable beings on learning the cause will wonder at
the effects； and if they cannot help me at least they will not blame
me； and the repugnance they feel at my wild ways will turn into pity
for my woes。 If it be； sirs； that you are here with the same design as
others have come wah； before you proceed with your wise arguments； I
entreat you to hear the story of my countless misfortunes； for perhaps
when you have heard it you will spare yourselves the trouble you would
take in offering consolation to grief that is beyond the reach of it。〃
As they； both of them； desired nothing more than to hear from his
own lips the cause of his suffering； they entreated him to tell it；
promising not to do anything for his relief or comfort that he did not
wish； and thereupon the unhappy gentleman began his sad story in
nearly the same words and manner in which he had related it to Don
Quixote and the goatherd a few days before； when； through Master
Elisabad； and Don Quixote's scrupulous observance of what was due to
chivalry； the tale was left unfinished； as this history has already
recorded； but now fortunately the mad fit kept off； allowed him to
tell it to the end； and so； coming to the incident of the note which
Don Fernando had found in the volume of 〃Amadis of Gaul；〃 Cardenio
said that he remembered it perfectly and that it was in these words：
〃Luscinda to Cardenio。
〃Every day I discover merits in you that oblige and compel me to
hold you in higher estimation； so if you desire to relieve me of
this obligation without cost to my honour； you may easily do so。 I
have a father who knows you and loves me dearly； who without putting
any constraint on my inclination will grant what will be reasonable
for you to have； if it be that you value me as you say and as I
believe you do。〃
〃By this letter I was induced； as I told you； to demand Luscinda for
my wife； and it was through it that Luscinda came to be regarded by
Don Fernando as one of the most discreet and prudent women of the day；
and this letter it was that suggested his design of ruining me
before mine could be carried into effect。 I told Don Fernando that all
Luscinda's father was waiting for was that mine should ask her of him；
which I did not dare to suggest to him； fearing that he would not
consent to do so； not because he did not know perfectly well the rank；
goodness； virtue； and beauty of Luscinda； and that she had qualities
that would do honour to any family in Spain； but because I was aware
that he did not wish me to marry so soon； before seeing what the
Duke Ricardo would do for me。 In short； I told him I did not venture
to mention it to my father； as well on account of that difficulty；
as of many others that discouraged me though I knew not well what they
were； only that it seemed to me that what I desired was never to
come to pass。 To all this Don Fernando answered that he would take
it upon himself to speak to my father； and persuade him to speak to
Luscinda's father。 O； ambitious Marius！ O； cruel Catiline！ O； wicked
Sylla！ O； perfidious Ganelon！ O； treacherous Vellido！ O； vindictive
Julian！ O； covetous Judas！ Traitor； cruel； vindictive； and perfidious；
wherein had this poor wretch failed in his fidelity； who with such
frankness showed thee the secrets and the joys of his heart？ What
offence did I commit？ What words did I utter； or what counsels did I
give that had not the furtherance of thy honour and welfare for
their aim？ But； woe is me； wherefore do I complain？ for sure it is
that when misfortunes spring from the stars； descending from on high
they fall upon us with such fury and violence that no power on earth
can check their course nor human device stay their coming。 Who could
have thought that Don Fernando； a highborn gentleman； intelligent；
bound to me by gratitude for my services； one that could win the
object of his love wherever he might set his affections； could have
become so obdurate； as they say； as to rob me of my one ewe lamb
that was not even yet in my possession？ But laying aside these useless
and unavailing reflections； let us take up the broken thread of my
unhappy story。
〃To proceed； then： Don Fernando finding my presence an obstacle to
the execution of his treacherous and wicked design； resolved to send
me to his elder brother under the pretext of asking money from him
to pay for six horses which； purposely； and with the sole object of
sending me away that he might the better carry out his infernal
scheme； he had purchased the very day he offered to speak to my
father； and the price of which he now desired me to fetch。 Could I
have anticipated this treachery？ Could I by any chance have
suspected it？ Nay； so far from that； I offered with the greatest
pleasure to go at once； in my satisfaction at the good bargain that
had been made。 That night I spoke with Luscinda； and told her what had
been agreed upon with Don Fernando； and how I had strong hopes of
our fair and reasonable wishes being realised。 She； as unsuspicious as
I was of the treachery of Don Fernando； bade me try to return
speedily； as she believed the fulfilment of our desires would be
delayed only so long as my father put off speaking to hers。 I know not
why it was that on saying this to me her eyes filled with tears； and
there came a lump in her throat that prevented her from uttering a
word of many more that it seemed to me she was striving to say to
me。 I was astonished at this unusual turn； which I never before
observed in her。 for we always conversed； whenever good fortune and my
ingenuity gave us the chance； with the greatest gaiety and
cheerfulness； mingling tears； sighs； jealousies； doubts； or fears with
our words； it was all on my part a eulogy of my good fortune that
Heaven should have given her to me for my mistress； I glorified her
beauty； I extolled her worth and her understanding； and she paid me
back by praising in me what in her love for me she thought worthy of
praise； and besides we had a hundred thousand trifles and doings of
our neighbours and acquaintances to talk about； and the utmost
extent of my boldness was to take； almost by force； one of her fair
white hands and carry it to my lips； as well as the closeness of the
low grating that separated us allowed me。 But the night before the
unhappy day of my departure she wept； she moaned； she sighed； and
she withdrew leaving me filled with perplexity and amazement；
overwhelmed at the sight of such strange and affecting signs of
grief and sorrow in Luscinda； but not to dash my hopes I ascribed it
all to the depth of her love for me and the pain that separation gives
those who love tenderly。 At last I took my departure； sad and
dejected； my heart filled with fancies and suspicions； but not knowing
well what it was I suspected or fancied； plain omens pointing to the
sad event and misfortune that was awaiting me。
〃I reached the place whither I had been sent； gave the letter to Don
Fernando's brother； and was kindly received but not promptly
dismissed； for he desired me to wait； very much against my will； eight
days in some place where the duke his father was not likely to see me；
as his brother wrote that the money was to be sent without his
knowledge； all of which was a scheme of the treacherous Don
Fernando； for his brother had no want of money to enable him to
despatch me at once。
〃The command was one that exposed me to the temptation of disobeying
it； as it seemed to me impossible to endure life for so many days
separated from Luscinda； especially after leaving her in the sorrowful
mood I have described to you； nevertheless as a dutiful servant I
obeyed； though I felt it would be at the cost of my well…being。 But
four days later there came a man in quest of me with a letter which he
gave me； and which by the address I perceived to be from Luscinda；
as the writing was hers。 I opened it with fear and trepidation；
persuaded that it must be something serious that had impelled her to
write to me when at a distance； as she seldom did so when I was
near。 Before reading it I asked the man who it was that had given it
to him； and how long he had been upon the road； he told me that as
he happened to be passing through one of the streets of the city at
the hour of noon； a very beautiful lady called to him from a window；
and with tears in her eyes said to him hurriedly； 'Brother； if you
are； as you seem to be； a Christian； for the love of God I entreat you
to have this letter despatched witho
