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第16节

a room with a view-第16节

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Once by the riverOh; but he isn't killedhe wouldn't be

killed; would he?〃



The thought disturbed her repentance。 As a matter of fact; the

storm was worst along the road; but she had been near danger; and

so she thought it must be near to every one。



〃I trust not。 One would always pray against that。〃



〃He is reallyI think he was taken by surprise; just as I was

before。 But this time I'm not to blame; I want you to believe

that。 I simply slipped into those violets。 No; I want to be

really truthful。 I am a little to blame。 I had silly thoughts。

The sky; you know; was gold; and the ground all blue; and for

a moment he looked like some one in a book。〃



〃In a book?〃



〃Heroesgodsthe nonsense of schoolgirls。〃



〃And then?〃



〃But; Charlotte; you know what happened then。〃



Miss Bartlett was silent。 Indeed; she had little more to learn。

With a certain amount of insight she drew her young cousin

affectionately to her。 All the way back Lucy's body was shaken by

deep sighs; which nothing could repress。



〃I want to be truthful;〃 she whispered。 〃It is so hard to be

absolutely truthful。〃



〃Don't be troubled; dearest。 Wait till you are calmer。 We will

talk it over before bed…time in my room。〃



So they re…entered the city with hands clasped。 It was a shock to

the girl to find how far emotion had ebbed in others。 The storm

had ceased; and Mr。 Emerson was easier about his son。 Mr。 Beebe

had regained good humour; and Mr。 Eager was already snubbing Miss

Lavish。 Charlotte alone she was sure ofCharlotte; whose

exterior concealed so much insight and love。



The luxury of self…exposure kept her almost happy through the

long evening。 She thought not so much of what had happened as of

how she should describe it。 All her sensations; her spasms of

courage; her moments of unreasonable joy; her mysterious

discontent; should be carefully laid before her cousin。 And

together in divine confidence they would disentangle and

interpret them all。



〃At last;〃 thought she; 〃I shall understand myself。 I shan't

again be troubled by things that come out of nothing; and mean I

don't know what。〃



Miss Alan asked her to play。 She refused vehemently。 Music seemed

to her the employment of a child。 She sat close to her cousin;

who; with commendable patience; was listening to a long story

about lost luggage。 When it was over she capped it by a story of

her own。 Lucy became rather hysterical with the delay。 In vain

she tried to check; or at all events to accelerate; the tale。 It

was not till a late hour that Miss Bartlett had recovered her

luggage and could say in her usual tone of gentle reproach:



〃Well; dear; I at all events am ready for Bedfordshire。 Come into

my room; and I will give a good brush to your hair。〃



With some solemnity the door was shut; and a cane chair placed

for the girl。 Then Miss Bartlett said 〃So what is to be done?〃



She was unprepared for the question。 It had not occurred to her

that she would have to do anything。 A detailed exhibition of her

emotions was all that she had counted upon。



〃What is to be done? A point; dearest; which you alone can

settle。〃



The rain was streaming down the black windows; and the great room

felt damp and chilly; One candle burnt trembling on the chest of

drawers close to Miss Bartlett's toque; which cast monstrous and

fantastic shadows on the bolted door。 A tram roared by in the

dark; and Lucy felt unaccountably sad; though she had long since

dried her eyes。 She lifted them to the ceiling; where the griffins

and bassoons were colourless and vague; the very ghosts of joy。



〃It has been raining for nearly four hours;〃 she said at last。



Miss Bartlett ignored the remark。



〃How do you propose to silence him?〃



〃The driver?〃



〃My dear girl; no; Mr。 George Emerson。〃



Lucy began to pace up and down the room。



〃I don't understand;〃 she said at last。



She understood very well; but she no longer wished to be

absolutely truthful。



〃How are you going to stop him talking about it?〃



〃I have a feeling that talk is a thing he will never do。〃



〃I; too; intend to judge him charitably。 But unfortunately I have

met the type before。 They seldom keep their exploits to

themselves。〃



〃Exploits?〃 cried Lucy; wincing under the horrible plural。



〃My poor dear; did you suppose that this was his first? Come here

and listen to me。 I am only gathering it from his own remarks。 Do

you remember that day at lunch when he argued with Miss Alan that

liking one person is an extra reason for liking another?〃



〃Yes;〃 said Lucy; whom at the time the argument had pleased。



〃Well; I am no prude。 There is no need to call him a wicked young

man; but obviously he is thoroughly unrefined。 Let us put it down

to his deplorable antecedents and education; if you wish。 But

we are no farther on with our question。 What do you propose to

do?〃



An idea rushed across Lucy's brain; which; had she thought of it

sooner and made it part of her; might have proved victorious。



〃I propose to speak to him;〃 said she。



Miss Bartlett uttered a cry of genuine alarm。



〃You see; Charlotte; your kindnessI shall never forget it。

Butas you saidit is my affair。 Mine and his。〃



〃And you are going to IMPLORE him; to BEG him to keep silence?〃



〃Certainly not。 There would be no difficulty。 Whatever you ask

him he answers; yes or no; then it is over。 I have been

frightened of him。 But now I am not one little bit。〃



〃But we fear him for you; dear。 You are so young and

inexperienced; you have lived among such nice people; that you

cannot realize what men can behow they can take a brutal

pleasure in insulting a woman whom her sex does not protect and

rally round。 This afternoon; for example; if I had not arrived;

what would have happened?〃



〃I can't think;〃 said Lucy gravely。



Something in her voice made Miss Bartlett repeat her question;

intoning it more vigorously。



〃What would have happened if I hadn't arrived?〃



〃I can't think;〃 said Lucy again。



〃When he insulted you; how would you have replied?〃



〃I hadn't time to think。 You came。〃



〃Yes; but won't you tell me now what you would have done?〃



〃I should have〃 She checked herself; and broke the sentence

off。 She went up to the dripping window and strained her eyes

into the darkness。 She could not think what she would have done。



〃Come away from the window; dear;〃 said Miss Bartlett。 〃You will

be seen from the road。〃



Lucy obeyed。 She was in her cousin's power。 She could not

modulate out the key of self…abasement in which she had started。

Neither of them referred again to her suggestion that she should

speak to George and settle the matter; whatever it was; with him。



Miss Bartlett became plaintive。



〃Oh; for a real man! We are only two women; you and I。 Mr。 Beebe

is hopeless。 There is Mr。 Eager; but you do not trust him。 Oh;

for your brother! He is young; but I know that his sister's

insult would rouse in him a very lion。 Thank God; chivalry is not

yet dead。 There are still left some men who can reverence woman。〃



As she spoke; she pulled off her rings; of which she wore

several; and ranged them upon the pin cushion。 Then she blew into

her gloves and said:



〃It will be a push to catch the morning train; but we must try。〃



〃What train?〃



〃The train to Rome。〃 She looked at her gloves critically。



The girl received the announcement as easily as it had been

given。



〃When does the train to Rome go?〃



〃At eight。〃



〃Signora Bertolini would be upset。〃



〃We must face that;〃 said Miss Bartlett; not liking to say that

she had given notice already。



〃She will make us pay for a whole week's pension。〃



〃I expect she will。 However; we shall be much more comfortable at

the Vyses' hotel。 Isn't afternoon tea given there for nothing?〃



〃Yes; but they pay extra for wine。〃 After this remark she

remained motionless and silent。 To her tired eyes Charlotte

throbbed and swelled like a ghostly figure in a dream。



They began to sort their clothes for packing; for there was no

time to lose; if they were to catch the train to Rome。 Lucy; when

admonished; began to move to and fro between the rooms; more

conscious of the discomforts of packing by candlelight than of a

subtler ill。 Charlotte; who was practical without ability; knelt

by the side of an empty trunk; vainly endeavouring to pave it

with books of varying thickness and size。 She gave two or three

sighs; for the stooping posture hurt her back; and; for all her

diplomacy; she felt that she was growing old。 The girl heard her

as she entered the room; and was seized with one of those

emotional impulses to which she could never attribute a cause。

She only felt that the candle would burn better; the packing go

easier; the world be happier; if she could give and receive some

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