a mountain woman(山妇)-第2节
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different voices； just as people do； and one of them is happy a little
white cataract and it falls where the sun shines earliest； and till night it is
shining。 But the others only get the sun now and then； and they are more
noisy and cruel。 One of them is always in the shadow； and the water looks
black。 That is partly because the rocks all underneath it are black。 It falls
down twenty great ledges in a gorge with black sides； and a white mist
dances all over it at every leap。 I tell father the mist is the ghost of the
waters。 No man ever goes there； it is too cold。 The chill strikes through
one； and makes your heart feel as if you were dying。 But all down the side
of the mountain； toward the south and the west； the sun shines on the
granite and draws long points of light out of it。 Father tells me soldiers
marching look that way when the sun strikes on their bayonets。 Those are
the kind of mountains I mean； Mr。 Grant。〃
She was looking at me with her face trans… figured； as if it； like the
mountains she told me of； had been lying in shadow； and wait… ing for the
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dazzling dawn。
〃I had a terrible dream once；〃 she went on； 〃the most terrible dream
ever I had。 I dreamt that the mountains had all been taken down； and that I
stood on a plain to which there was no end。 The sky was burn… ing up； and
the grass scorched brown from the heat； and it was twisting as if it were in
pain。 And animals； but no other person save myself； only wild things； were
crouch… ing and looking up at that sky。 They could not run because there
was no place to which to go。〃
〃You were having a vision of the last man；〃 I said。 〃I wonder myself
sometimes whether this old globe of ours is going to collapse suddenly
and take us with her； or whether we will disappear through slow disastrous
ages of fighting and crushing； with hunger and blight to help us to the end。
And then； at the last； perhaps； some luckless fellow； stronger than the rest；
will stand amid the ribs of the rotting earth and go mad。〃
The woman's eyes were fixed on me； large and luminous。 〃Yes；〃 she
said； 〃he would go mad from the lonesomeness of it。 He would be afraid
to be left alone like that with God。 No one would want to be taken into
God's secrets。〃
〃And our last man；〃 I went on； 〃would have to stand there on that
swaying wreck till even the sound of the crumbling earth ceased。 And he
would try to find a voice and would fail； because silence would have come
again。 And then the light would go out 〃
The shudder that crept over her made me stop； ashamed of myself。
〃You talk like father；〃 she said； with a long…drawn breath。 Then she
looked up suddenly at the sun shining through a rift in those reckless gray
clouds； and put out one hand as if to get it full of the headlong rollicking
breeze。 〃But the earth is not dying；〃 she cried。 〃It is well and strong； and it
likes to go round and round among all the other worlds。 It likes the sun
and moon； they are all good friends； and it likes the people who live on it。
Maybe it is they instead of the fire within who keep it warm； or maybe it is
warm just from always going； as we are when we run。 We are young； you
and I； Mr。 Grant； and Leroy； and your beautiful sister； and the world is
young too！〃 Then she laughed a strong splendid laugh； which had never
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had the joy taken out of it with drawing…room re… strictions； and I laughed
too； and felt that we had become very good companions indeed； and found
myself warming to the joy of companionship as I had not since I was a
boy at school。
That afternoon the four of us sat at a table in the Casino together。 The
Casino； as every one knows； is a place to amuse yourself。 If you have a
duty； a mission； or an aspiration； you do not take it there with you； it
would be so obviously out of place； if poverty is ahead of you； you forget
it； if you have brains； you hasten to conceal them； they would be a serious
encumbrance。
There was a bubbling of conversation； a rustle and flutter such as there
always is where there are many women。 All the place was gay with
flowers and with gowns as bright as the flowers。 I remembered the
apprehensions of my sister； and studied Leroy's wife to see how she fitted
into this highly colored picture。 She was the only woman in the room who
seemed to wear draperies。 The jaunty slash and cut of fashionable attire
were missing in the long brown folds of cloth that enveloped her figure。 I
felt certain that even from Jessica's standpoint she could not be called a
guy。 Picturesque she might be； past the point of convention； but she was
not ridiculous。
〃Judith takes all this very seriously；〃 said Leroy； laughingly。 〃I suppose
she would take even Paris seriously。〃
His wife smiled over at him。 〃Leroy says I am melancholy；〃 she said；
softly； 〃but I am always telling him that I am happy。 He thinks I am
melancholy be… cause I do not laugh。 I got out of the way of it by being so
much alone。 You only laugh to let some one else know you are pleased。
When you are alone there is no use in laughing。 It would be like explain…
ing something to yourself。〃
〃You are a philosopher； Judith。 Mr。 Max Mü；ller would like to
know you。〃
〃Is he a friend of yours； dear？〃
Leroy blushed； and I saw Jessica curl her lip as she noticed the blush。
She laid her hand on Mrs。 Brainard's arm。
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〃Have you always been very much alone？〃 she inquired。
〃I was born on the ranch； you know； and father was not fond of
leaving it。 In… deed； now he says he will never again go out of sight of it。
But you can go a long journey without doing that； for it lies on a plateau in
the valley； and it can be seen from three different mountain passes。 Mother
died there； and for that reason and others father has had a strange life
he never wanted to go away。 He brought a lady from Pennsylvania to teach
me。 She had wonderful learning； but she didn't make very much use of it。 I
thought if I had learning I would not waste it reading books。 I would use it
to to live with。 Father had a library； but I never cared for it。 He was
forever at books too。 Of course；〃 she hastened to add； noticing the look of
mortification deepen on her hus… band's face； 〃I like books very well if
there is nothing better at hand。 But I always said to Mrs。 Windsor it was
she who taught me why read what other folk have been thinking when
you can go out and think yourself？ Of course one prefers one's own
thoughts； just as one prefers one's own ranch； or one's own father。〃
〃Then you are sure to like New York when you go there to live；〃 cried
Jessica； 〃for there you will find something to make life entertaining all the
time。 No one need fall back on books there。〃
〃I'm not sure。 I'm afraid there must be such dreadful crowds of people。
Of course I should try to feel that they were all like me； with just the same
sort of fears； and that it was ridiculous for us to be afraid of each other；
when at heart we all meant to be kind。〃
Jessica fairly wrung her hands。 〃Hea… vens！〃 she cried。 〃I said you
would like New York。 I am afraid； my dear； that it will break your heart！〃
〃Oh；〃 said Mrs。 Brainard； with what was meant to be a gentle jest； 〃no
one can break my heart except Leroy。 I should not care enough about any
one else； you know。〃
The compliment was an exquisite one。 I felt the blood creep to my
own brain in a sort of vicarious rapture； and I avoided looking at Leroy
lest he should dislike to have me see the happiness he must feel。 The
simplicity of the woman seemed to invigorate me as the cool air of her
moun… tains might if it blew to me on some bright dawn； when I had come；
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fevered and sick of soul； from the city。
When we we
