she stoops to conquer-第8节

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　for　every　virtue。

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　I　hope；　sir；　a　conversation　begun　with　a　compliment　to　my　good　sense；　won't　end　with　a　sneer　at　my　understanding？

HARDCASTLE。　　Pardon　me；　Kate。　　But　if　young　Mr。　Brazen　can　find　the　art　of　reconciling　contradictions；　he　may　please　us　both；　perhaps。

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　And　as　one　of　us　must　be　mistaken；　what　if　we　go　to　make　further　discoveries？

HARDCASTLE。　　Agreed。　　But　depend　on't　I'm　in　the　right。

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　And　depend　on't　I'm　not　much　in　the　wrong。　　＇Exeunt。＇


Enter　Tony；　running　in　with　a　casket。


TONY。　　Ecod！　I　have　got　them。　　Here　they　are。　　My　cousin　Con's　necklaces；　bobs　and　all。　　My　mother　shan't　cheat　the　poor　souls　out　of　their　fortin　neither。　　O！　my　genus；　is　that　you？


Enter　HASTINGS。


HASTINGS。　　My　dear　friend；　how　have　you　managed　with　your　mother？　　I　hope　you　have　amused　her　with　pretending　love　for　your　cousin；　and　that　you　are　willing　to　be　reconciled　at　last？　　Our　horses　will　be　refreshed　in　a　short　time；　and　we　shall　soon　be　ready　to　set　off。

TONY。　　And　here's　something　to　bear　your　charges　by　the　way　（giving　the　casket）；　your　sweetheart's　jewels。　　Keep　them：　and　hang　those；　I　say；　that　would　rob　you　of　one　of　them。

HASTINGS。　　But　how　have　you　procured　them　from　your　mother？

TONY。　　Ask　me　no　questions；　and　I'll　tell　you　no　fibs。　　I　procured　them　by　the　rule　of　thumb。　　If　I　had　not　a　key　to　every　drawer　in　mother's　bureau；　how　could　I　go　to　the　alehouse　so　often　as　I　do？　　An　honest　man　may　rob　himself　of　his　own　at　any　time。

HASTINGS。　　Thousands　do　it　every　day。　　But　to　be　plain　with　you；　Miss　Neville　is　endeavouring　to　procure　them　from　her　aunt　this　very　instant。　　If　she　succeeds；　it　will　be　the　most　delicate　way　at　least　of　obtaining　them。

TONY。　　Well；　keep　them；　till　you　know　how　it　will　be。　　But　I　know　how　it　will　be　well　enough；　she'd　as　soon　part　with　the　only　sound　tooth　in　her　head。

HASTINGS。　　But　I　dread　the　effects　of　her　resentment；　when　she　finds　she　has　lost　them。

TONY。　　Never　you　mind　her　resentment；　leave　ME　to　manage　that。　　I　don't　value　her　resentment　the　bounce　of　a　cracker。　　Zounds！　here　they　are。　　Morrice！　Prance！　　＇Exit　HASTINGS。＇


Enter　MRS。　HARDCASTLE　and　MISS　NEVILLE。


MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Indeed；　Constance；　you　amaze　me。　　Such　a　girl　as　you　want　jewels！　　It　will　be　time　enough　for　jewels；　my　dear；　twenty　years　hence；　when　your　beauty　begins　to　want　repairs。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　But　what　will　repair　beauty　at　forty；　will　certainly　improve　it　at　twenty；　madam。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Yours；　my　dear；　can　admit　of　none。　　That　natural　blush　is　beyond　a　thousand　ornaments。　　Besides；　child；　jewels　are　quite　out　at　present。　　Don't　you　see　half　the　ladies　of　our　acquaintance；　my　Lady　Kill…daylight；　and　Mrs。　Crump；　and　the　rest　of　them；　carry　their　jewels　to　town；　and　bring　nothing　but　paste　and　marcasites　back。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　But　who　knows；　madam；　but　somebody　that　shall　be　nameless　would　like　me　best　with　all　my　little　finery　about　me？

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Consult　your　glass；　my　dear；　and　then　see　if；　with　such　a　pair　of　eyes；　you　want　any　better　sparklers。　　What　do　you　think；　Tony；　my　dear？　does　your　cousin　Con。　want　any　jewels　in　your　eyes　to　set　off　her　beauty？

TONY。　　That's　as　thereafter　may　be。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　My　dear　aunt；　if　you　knew　how　it　would　oblige　me。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　A　parcel　of　old…fashioned　rose　and　table…cut　things。　　They　would　make　you　look　like　the　court　of　King　Solomon　at　a　puppet…show。　　Besides；　I　believe；　I　can't　readily　come　at　them。　　They　may　be　missing；　for　aught　I　know　to　the　contrary。

TONY。　　（Apart　to　MRS。　HARDCASTLE。）　　Then　why　don't　you　tell　her　so　at　once；　as　she's　so　longing　for　them？　　Tell　her　they're　lost。　　It's　the　only　way　to　quiet　her。　　Say　they're　lost；　and　call　me　to　bear　witness。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　（Apart　to　TONY。）　　You　know；　my　dear；　I'm　only　keeping　them　for　you。　　So　if　I　say　they're　gone；　you'll　bear　me　witness；　will　you？　　He！　he！　he！

TONY。　　Never　fear　me。　　Ecod！　I'll　say　I　saw　them　taken　out　with　my　own　eyes。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　I　desire　them　but　for　a　day；　madam。　　Just　to　be　permitted　to　show　them　as　relics；　and　then　they　may　be　locked　up　again。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　To　be　plain　with　you；　my　dear　Constance；　if　I　could　find　them　you　should　have　them。　　They're　missing；　I　assure　you。　　Lost；　for　aught　I　know；　but　we　must　have　patience　wherever　they　are。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　I'll　not　believe　it！　this　is　but　a　shallow　pretence　to　deny　me。　　I　know　they　are　too　valuable　to　be　so　slightly　kept；　and　as　you　are　to　answer　for　the　loss

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Don't　be　alarmed；　Constance。　　If　they　be　lost；　I　must　restore　an　equivalent。　　But　my　son　knows　they　are　missing；　and　not　to　be　found。

TONY。　　That　I　can　bear　witness　to。　　They　are　missing；　and　not　to　be　found；　I'll　take　my　oath　on't。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　You　must　learn　resignation；　my　dear；　for　though　we　lose　our　fortune；　yet　we　should　not　lose　our　patience。　　See　me；　how　calm　I　am。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　Ay；　people　are　generally　calm　at　the　misfortunes　of　others。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Now　I　wonder　a　girl　of　your　good　sense　should　waste　a　thought　upon　such　trumpery。　　We　shall　soon　find　them；　and　in　the　mean　time　you　shall　make　use　of　my　garnets　till　your　jewels　be　found。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　I　detest　garnets。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　The　most　becoming　things　in　the　world　to　set　off　a　clear　complexion。　　You　have　often　seen　how　well　they　look　upon　me。　　You　SHALL　have　them。　　＇Exit。＇

MISS　NEVILLE。　　I　dislike　them　of　all　things。　　You　shan't　stir。Was　ever　anything　so　provoking；　to　mislay　my　own　jewels；　and　force　me　to　wear　her　trumpery？

TONY。　　Don't　be　a　fool。　　If　she　gives　you　the　garnets；　take　what　you　can　get。　　The　jewels　are　your　own　already。　　I　have　stolen　them　out　of　her　bureau；　and　she　does　not　know　it。　　Fly　to　your　spark；　he'll　tell　you　more　of　the　matter。　　Leave　me　to　manage　her。

MISS　NEVILLE。　　My　dear　cousin！

TONY。　　Vanish。　　She's　here；　and　has　missed　them　already。　　＇Exit　MISS　NEVILLE。＇　Zounds！　how　she　fidgets　and　spits　about　like　a　Catherine　wheel。


Enter　MRS。　HARDCASTLE。


MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Confusion！　thieves！　robbers！　we　are　cheated；　plundered；　broke　open；　undone。

TONY。　　What's　the　matter；　what's　the　matter；　mamma？　　I　hope　nothing　has　happened　to　any　of　the　good　family！

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　We　are　robbed。　　My　bureau　has　been　broken　open；　the　jewels　taken　out；　and　I'm　undone。

TONY。　　Oh！　is　that　all？　　Ha！　ha！　ha！　　By　the　laws；　I　never　saw　it　acted　better　in　my　life。　　Ecod；　I　thought　you　was　ruined　in　earnest；　ha！　ha！　ha！

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Why；　boy；　I　AM　ruined　in　earnest。　　My　bureau　has　been　broken　open；　and　all　taken　away。

TONY。　　Stick　to　that：　ha！　ha！　ha！　stick　to　that。　　I'll　bear　witness；　you　know；　call　me　to　bear　witness。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　I　tell　you；　Tony；　by　all　that's　precious；　the　jewels　are　gone；　and　I　shall　be　ruined　for　ever。

TONY。　　Sure　I　know　they're　gone；　and　I'm　to　say　so。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　My　dearest　Tony；　but　hear　me。　　They're　gone；　I　say。

TONY。　　By　the　laws；　mamma；　you　make　me　for　to　laugh；　ha！　ha！　　I　know　who　took　them　well　enough；　ha！　ha！　ha！

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Was　there　ever　such　a　blockhead；　that　can't　tell　the　difference　between　jest　and　earnest？　　I　tell　you　I'm　not　in　jest；　booby。

TONY。　　That's　right；　that's　right；　you　must　be　in　a　bitter　passion；　and　then　nobody　will　suspect　either　of　us。　　I'll　bear　witness　that　they　are　gone。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Was　there　ever　such　a　cross…grained　brute；　that　won't　hear　me？　　Can　you　bear　witness　that　you're　no　better　than　a　fool？　　Was　ever　poor　woman　so　beset　with　fools　on　one　hand；　and　thieves　on　the　other？

TONY。　　I　can　bear　witness　to　that。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Bear　witness　again；　you　blockhead　you；　and　I'll　turn　you　out　of　the　room　directly。　　My　poor　niece；　what　will　become　of　her？　　Do　you　laugh；　you　unfeeling　brute；　as　if　you　enjoyed　my　distress？

TONY。　　I　can　bear　witness　to　that。

MRS。　HARDCASTLE。　　Do　you　insult　me；　monster？　　I'll　teach　you　to　vex　your　mother；　I　will。

TONY。　　I　can　bear　witness　to　that。　　＇He　runs　off；　she　follows　him。＇


Enter　Miss　HARDCASTLE　and　Maid。


MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　What　an　unaccountable　creature　is　that　brother　of　mine；　to　send　them　to　the　house　as　an　inn！　ha！　ha！　　I　don't　wonder　at　his　impudence。

MAID。　　But　what　is　more；　madam；　the　young　gentleman；　as　you　passed　by　in　your　present　dress；　asked　me　if　you　were　the　bar…maid。　　He　mistook　you　for　the　bar…maid；　madam。

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　Did　he？　　Then　as　I　live；　I'm　resolved　to　keep　up　the　delusion。　　Tell　me；　Pimple；　how　do　you　like　my　present　dress？　　Don't　you　think　I　look　something　like　Cherry　in　the　Beaux　Stratagem？

MAID。　　It's　the　dress；　madam；　that　every　lady　wears　in　the　country；　but　when　she　visits　or　receives　company。

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　And　are　you　sure　he　does　not　remember　my　face　or　person？

MAID。　　Certain　of　it。

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　I　vow；　I　thought　so；　for；　though　we　spoke　for　some　time　together；　yet　his　fears　were　such；　that　he　never　once　looked　up　during　the　interview。　　Indeed；　if　he　had；　my　bonnet　would　have　kept　him　from　seeing　me。

MAID。　　But　what　do　you　hope　from　keeping　him　in　his　mistake？

MISS　HARDCASTLE。　　In　the　first　place　I　shall　be　seen；　and　that　is　no　small　advantage　to　a　girl　who　bri