the way of the world(如此世道)-第12节
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me。
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SCENE XIII。
＇To them＇ PETULANT； WITWOUD。
MILLA。 Is your animosity composed； gentlemen？
WIT。 Raillery； raillery； madam； we have no animosity。 We hit off a
little wit now and then； but no animosity。 The falling out of wits is like the
falling out of lovers：… we agree in the main； like treble and bass。 Ha；
Petulant？
PET。 Ay； in the main。 But when I have a humour to contradict …
WIT。 Ay； when he has a humour to contradict； then I contradict too。
What； I know my cue。 Then we contradict one another like two battledores；
for contradictions beget one another like Jews。
PET。 If he says black's blackif I have a humour to say 'tis blue… …let
that passall's one for that。 If I have a humour to prove it； it must be
granted。
WIT。 Not positively must。 But it may； it may。
PET。 Yes； it positively must； upon proof positive。
WIT。 Ay； upon proof positive it must； but upon proof presumptive it
only may。 That's a logical distinction now； madam。
MRS。 MAR。 I perceive your debates are of importance； and very
learnedly handled。
PET。 Importance is one thing and learning's another； but a debate's a
debate； that I assert。
WIT。 Petulant's an enemy to learning； he relies altogether on his parts。
PET。 No； I'm no enemy to learning； it hurts not me。
MRS。 MAR。 That's a sign； indeed； it's no enemy to you。
PET。 No； no； it's no enemy to anybody but them that have it。
MILLA。 Well； an illiterate man's my aversion； I wonder at the
impudence of any illiterate man to offer to make love。
WIT。 That I confess I wonder at； too。
MILLA。 Ah； to marry an ignorant that can hardly read or write！
PET。 Why should a man be any further from being married； though he
can't read； than he is from being hanged？ The ordinary's paid for setting
the psalm； and the parish priest for reading the ceremony。 And for the rest
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which is to follow in both cases； a man may do it without book。 So all's
one for that。
MILLA。 D'ye hear the creature？ Lord； here's company； I'll begone。
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SCENE XIV。
SIR WILFULL WITWOUD in a riding dress； MRS。 MARWOOD；
PETULANT； WITWOUD； FOOTMAN。
WIT。 In the name of Bartlemew and his Fair； what have we here？
MRS。 MAR。 'Tis your brother； I fancy。 Don't you know him？
WIT。 Not I：… yes； I think it is he。 I've almost forgot him； I have not
seen him since the revolution。
FOOT。 Sir； my lady's dressing。 Here's company； if you please to walk
in； in the meantime。
SIR WIL。 Dressing！ What； it's but morning here； I warrant； with you in
London； we should count it towards afternoon in our parts down in
Shropshire：… why； then； belike my aunt han't dined yet。 Ha； friend？
FOOT。 Your aunt； sir？
SIR WIL。 My aunt； sir？ Yes my aunt； sir； and your lady； sir； your lady
is my aunt； sir。 Why； what dost thou not know me； friend？ Why； then； send
somebody hither that does。 How long hast thou lived with thy lady； fellow；
ha？
FOOT。 A week； sir； longer than anybody in the house； except my
lady's woman。
SIR WIL。 Why； then； belike thou dost not know thy lady； if thou seest
her。 Ha； friend？
FOOT。 Why； truly； sir； I cannot safely swear to her face in a morning；
before she is dressed。 'Tis like I may give a shrewd guess at her by this
time。
SIR WIL。 Well； prithee try what thou canst do； if thou canst not guess；
enquire her out； dost hear； fellow？ And tell her her nephew； Sir Wilfull
Witwoud； is in the house。
FOOT。 I shall； sir。
SIR WIL。 Hold ye； hear me； friend； a word with you in your ear：
prithee who are these gallants？
FOOT。 Really； sir； I can't tell； here come so many here； 'tis hard to
know 'em all。
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SCENE XV。
SIR WILFULL WITWOUD； PETULANT； WITWOUD； MRS。
MARWOOD。
SIR WIL。 Oons； this fellow knows less than a starling： I don't think a
knows his own name。
MRS。 MAR。 Mr。 Witwoud； your brother is not behindhand in
forgetfulness。 I fancy he has forgot you too。
WIT。 I hope so。 The devil take him that remembers first； I say。
SIR WIL。 Save you； gentlemen and lady。
MRS。 MAR。 For shame； Mr。 Witwoud； why won't you speak to him？
And you； sir。
WIT。 Petulant； speak。
PET。 And you； sir。
SIR WIL。 No offence； I hope？ ＇Salutes MARWOOD。＇
MRS。 MAR。 No； sure； sir。
WIT。 This is a vile dog； I see that already。 No offence？ Ha； ha； ha。 To
him； to him； Petulant； smoke him。
PET。 It seems as if you had come a journey； sir； hem； hem。 ＇Surveying
him round。＇
SIR WIL。 Very likely； sir； that it may seem so。
PET。 No offence； I hope； sir？
WIT。 Smoke the boots； the boots； Petulant； the boots； ha； ha； ha！
SIR WILL。 Maybe not； sir； thereafter as 'tis meant； sir。
PET。 Sir； I presume upon the information of your boots。
SIR WIL。 Why； 'tis like you may； sir： if you are not satisfied with the
information of my boots； sir； if you will step to the stable； you may
enquire further of my horse； sir。
PET。 Your horse； sir！ Your horse is an ass； sir！
SIR WIL。 Do you speak by way of offence； sir？
MRS。 MAR。 The gentleman's merry； that's all； sir。 'Slife； we shall have
a quarrel betwixt an horse and an ass； before they find one another out。
You must not take anything amiss from your friends； sir。 You are among
your friends here； though itmay be you don't know it。 If I am not
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mistaken； you are Sir Wilfull Witwoud？
SIR WIL。 Right； lady； I am Sir Wilfull Witwoud； so I write myself； no
offence to anybody； I hope？ and nephew to the Lady Wishfort of this
mansion。
MRS。 MAR。 Don't you know this gentleman； sir？
SIR WIL。 Hum！ What； sure 'tis notyea by'r lady but 'tis 'sheart； I
know not whether 'tis or no。 Yea； but 'tis； by the Wrekin。 Brother Antony！
What； Tony； i'faith！ What； dost thou not know me？ By'r lady； nor I thee；
thou art so becravated and so beperiwigged。 'Sheart； why dost not speak？
Art thou o'erjoyed？
WIT。 Odso； brother； is it you？ Your servant； brother。
SIR WIL。 Your servant？ Why； yours； sir。 Your servant again 'sheart；
and your friend and servant to thatand a＇puff＇ and a flap…dragon for
your service； sir； and a hare's foot and a hare's scut for your service； sir； an
you be so cold and so courtly！
WIT。 No offence； I hope； brother？
SIR WIL。 'Sheart； sir； but there is； and much offence。 A pox； is this
your inns o' court breeding； not to know your friends and your relations；
your elders； and your betters？
WIT。 Why； brother Wilfull of Salop； you may be as short as a
Shrewsbury cake； if you please。 But I tell you 'tis not modish to know
relations in town。 You think you're in the country； where great lubberly
brothers slabber and kiss one another when they meet； like a call of
sergeants。 'Tis not the fashion here； 'tis not； indeed； dear brother。
SIR WIL。 The fashion's a fool and you're a fop； dear brother。 'Sheart；
I've suspected thisby'r lady I conjectured you were a fop； since you
began to change the style of your letters； and write in a scrap of paper gilt
round the edges； no bigger than a subpoena。 I might expect this when you
left off 'Honoured brother；' and 'Hoping you are in good health；' and so
forth； to begin with a 'Rat me； knight； I'm so sick of a last night's debauch。'
Ods heart； and then tell a familiar tale of a cock and a bull； and a whore
and a bottle； and so conclude。 You could write news before you were out
