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But after an instant I added:  〃Did they say why I should

like it better?〃



〃No; Master Miles only said; 〃We must do nothing but what she likes!〃



〃I wish indeed he would。  And what did Flora say?〃



〃Miss Flora was too sweet。  She said; ‘Oh; of course; of course!'

and I said the same。〃



I thought a moment。  〃You were too sweet; tooI can hear you all。

But nonetheless; between Miles and me; it's now all out。〃



〃All out?〃  My companion stared。  〃But what; miss?〃



〃Everything。  It doesn't matter。  I've made up my mind。

I came home; my dear;〃 I went on; 〃for a talk with Miss Jessel。〃



I had by this time formed the habit of having Mrs。 Grose

literally well in hand in advance of my sounding that note;

so that even now; as she bravely blinked under the signal

of my word; I could keep her comparatively firm。  〃A talk!

Do you mean she spoke?〃



〃It came to that。  I found her; on my return; in the schoolroom。〃



〃And what did she say?〃  I can hear the good woman still;

and the candor of her stupefaction。



〃That she suffers the torments!〃



It was this; of a truth; that made her; as she filled out my picture; gape。

〃Do you mean;〃 she faltered; 〃of the lost?〃



〃Of the lost。  Of the damned。  And that's why; to share them…〃

I faltered myself with the horror of it。



But my companion; with less imagination; kept me up。

〃To share them?〃



〃She wants Flora。〃  Mrs。 Grose might; as I gave it to her; fairly have fallen

away from me had I not been prepared。  I still held her there; to show I was。

〃As I've told you; however; it doesn't matter。〃



〃Because you've made up your mind?  But to what?〃



〃To everything。〃



〃And what do you call ‘everything'?〃



〃Why; sending for their uncle。〃



〃Oh; miss; in pity do;〃 my friend broke out。



〃ah; but I will; I WILL! I see it's the only way。

What's ‘out;' as I told you; with Miles is that if he thinks

I'm afraid toand has ideas of what he gains by that

he shall see he's mistaken。  Yes; yes; his uncle shall have it

here from me on the spot (and before the boy himself; if necessary)

that if I'm to be reproached with having done nothing again

about more school〃



〃Yes; miss〃 my companion pressed me。



〃Well; there's that awful reason。〃



There were now clearly so many of these for my poor colleague that she

was excusable for being vague。  〃Buta which?〃



〃Why; the letter from his old place。〃



〃You'll show it to the master?〃



〃I ought to have done so on the instant。〃



〃Oh; no!〃 said Mrs。 Grose with decision。



〃I'll put it before him;〃 I went on inexorably; 〃that I can't undertake

to work the question on behalf of a child who has been expelled〃



〃For we've never in the least known what!〃  Mrs。 Grose declared。



〃For wickedness。  For what elsewhen he's so clever and beautiful

and perfect?  Is he stupid?  Is he untidy?  Is he infirm?

Is he ill…natured? He's exquisiteso it can be only THAT;

and that would open up the whole thing。  After all;〃 I said;

〃it's their uncle's fault。  If he left here such people!〃



〃He didn't really in the least know them。  The fault's mine。〃

She had turned quite pale。



〃Well; you shan't suffer;〃 I answered。



〃The children shan't!〃 she emphatically returned。



I was silent awhile; we looked at each other。  〃Then what am

I to tell him?〃



〃You needn't tell him anything。  _I_'ll tell him。〃



I measured this。  〃Do you mean you'll write?〃 Remembering she couldn't; I

caught myself up。  〃How do you communicate?〃



〃I tell the bailiff。  HE writes。〃



〃And should you like him to write our story?〃



My question had a sarcastic force that I had not fully intended;

and it made her; after a moment; inconsequently break down。

The tears were again in her eyes。  〃Ah; miss; YOU write!〃



〃Welltonight;〃 I at last answered; and on this we separated。







                          XVII





I went so far; in the evening; as to make a beginning。

The weather had changed back; a great wind was abroad;

and beneath the lamp; in my room; with Flora at peace beside me;

I sat for a long time before a blank sheet of paper and

listened to the lash of the rain and the batter of the gusts。

Finally I went out; taking a candle; I crossed the passage

and listened a minute at Miles's door。  What; under my

endless obsession; I had been impelled to listen for was some

betrayal of his not being at rest; and I presently caught one;

but not in the form I had expected。  His voice tinkled out。

〃I say; you therecome in。〃  It was a gaiety in the gloom!



I went in with my light and found him; in bed; very wide awake;

but very much at his ease。  〃Well; what are YOU up to?〃

he asked with a grace of sociability in which it occurred

to me that Mrs。 Grose; had she been present; might have looked

in vain for proof that anything was 〃out。〃



I stood over him with my candle。  〃How did you know I was there?〃



〃Why; of course I heard you。  Did you fancy you made no noise?

You're like a troop of cavalry!〃 he beautifully laughed。



〃Then you weren't asleep?〃



〃Not much!  I lie awake and think。〃



I had put my candle; designedly; a short way off; and then; as he held

out his friendly old hand to me; had sat down on the edge of his bed。

〃What is it;〃 I asked; 〃that you think of?〃



〃What in the world; my dear; but YOU?〃



〃Ah; the pride I take in your appreciation doesn't insist on that!

I had so far rather you slept。〃



〃Well; I think also; you know; of this queer business of ours。〃



I marked the coolness of his firm little hand。

〃Of what queer business; Miles?〃



〃Why; the way you bring me up。  And all the rest!〃



I fairly held my breath a minute; and even from my glimmering taper

there was light enough to show how he smiled up at me from his pillow。

〃What do you mean by all the rest?〃



〃Oh; you know; you know!〃



I could say nothing for a minute; though I felt; as I held

his hand and our eyes continued to meet; that my silence

had all the air of admitting his charge and that nothing

in the whole world of reality was perhaps at that moment

so fabulous as our actual relation。  〃Certainly you shall go

back to school;〃 I said; 〃if it be that that troubles you。

But not to the old placewe must find another; a better。

How could I know it did trouble you; this question;

when you never told me so; never spoke of it at all?〃

His clear; listening face; framed in its smooth whiteness;

made him for the minute as appealing as some wistful

patient in a children's hospital; and I would have given;

as the resemblance came to me; all I possessed on earth really

to be the nurse or the sister of charity who might have helped

to cure him。  Well; even as it was; I perhaps might help!

〃Do you know you've never said a word to me about your school

I mean the old one; never mentioned it in any way?〃



He seemed to wonder; he smiled with the same loveliness。

But he clearly gained time; he waited; he called for guidance。

〃Haven't I?〃  It wasn't for ME to help himit was for

the thing I had met!



Something in his tone and the expression of his face; as I

got this from him; set my heart aching with such a pang as it

had never yet known; so unutterably touching was it to see his

little brain puzzled and his little resources taxed to play;

under the spell laid on him; a part of innocence and consistency。

〃No; neverfrom the hour you came back。  You've never

mentioned to me one of your masters; one of your comrades;

nor the least little thing that ever happened to you at school。

Never; little Milesno; neverhave you given me an inkling

of anything that MAY have happened there。  Therefore you

can fancy how much I'm in the dark。  Until you came out;

that way; this morning; you had; since the first hour I saw you;

scarce even made a reference to anything in your previous life。

You seemed so perfectly to accept the present。〃  It was

extraordinary how my absolute conviction of his secret precocity

(or whatever I might call the poison of an influence that I

dared but half to phrase) made him; in spite of the faint

breath of his inward trouble; appear as accessible as an

older personimposed him almost as an intellectual equal。

〃I thought you wanted to go on as you are。〃



It struck me that at this he just faintly colored。  He gave; at any rate;

like a convalescent slightly fatigued; a languid shake of his head。

〃I don'tI don't。 I want to get away。〃



〃You're tired of Bly?〃



〃Oh; no; I like Bly。〃



〃Well; then?〃



〃Oh; YOU know what a boy wants!〃



I felt that I didn't know so well as Miles; and I took temporary refuge。

〃You want to go to your uncle?〃



Again; at this; with his sweet ironic face; he made a movement on the pillow。

〃Ah; you can't get off with that!〃



I was silent a little; and it was I; now; I think; who changed color。

〃My dear; I don't want to get

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