the turn of the screw-第14节

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What　I；　on　my　side；　had　to　care　for　was；　without　disturbing　her；

to　reach；　from　the　corridor；　some　other　window　in　the　same　quarter。

I　got　to　the　door　without　her　hearing　me；　I　got　out　of　it；　closed　it；

and　listened；　from　the　other　side；　for　some　sound　from　her。

While　I　stood　in　the　passage　I　had　my　eyes　on　her　brother's　door；

which　was　but　ten　steps　off　and　which；　indescribably；　produced　in　me

a　renewal　of　the　strange　impulse　that　I　lately　spoke　of　as　my　temptation。

What　if　I　should　go　straight　in　and　march　to　HIS　window？what　if；

by　risking　to　his　boyish　bewilderment　a　revelation　of　my　motive；

I　should　throw　across　the　rest　of　the　mystery　the　long　halter

of　my　boldness？



This　thought　held　me　sufficiently　to　make　me　cross　to　his

threshold　and　pause　again。　　I　preternaturally　listened；　I　figured

to　myself　what　might　portentously　be；　I　wondered　if　his　bed　were

also　empty　and　he　too　were　secretly　at　watch。　　It　was　a　deep；

soundless　minute；　at　the　end　of　which　my　impulse　failed。

He　was　quiet；　he　might　be　innocent；　the　risk　was　hideous；

I　turned　away。　　There　was　a　figure　in　the　groundsa　figure

prowling　for　a　sight；　the　visitor　with　whom　Flora　was　engaged；

but　it　was　not　the　visitor　most　concerned　with　my　boy。

I　hesitated　afresh；　but　on　other　grounds　and　only　for　a　few　seconds；

then　I　had　made　my　choice。　　There　were　empty　rooms　at　Bly；

and　it　was　only　a　question　of　choosing　the　right　one。

The　right　one　suddenly　presented　itself　to　me　as　the　lower　one

though　high　above　the　gardensin　the　solid　corner　of　the　house

that　I　have　spoken　of　as　the　old　tower。　　This　was　a　large；

square　chamber；　arranged　with　some　state　as　a　bedroom；　the　extravagant

size　of　which　made　it　so　inconvenient　that　it　had　not　for　years；

though　kept　by　Mrs。　Grose　in　exemplary　order；　been　occupied。

I　had　often　admired　it　and　I　knew　my　way　about　in　it；　I　had　only；

after　just　faltering　at　the　first　chill　gloom　of　its　disuse；

to　pass　across　it　and　unbolt　as　quietly　as　I　could　one　of

the　shutters。　　Achieving　this　transit；　I　uncovered　the　glass

without　a　sound　and；　applying　my　face　to　the　pane；　was　able；

the　darkness　without　being　much　less　than　within；　to　see　that　I

commanded　the　right　direction。　　Then　I　saw　something　more。

The　moon　made　the　night　extraordinarily　penetrable　and

showed　me　on　the　lawn　a　person；　diminished　by　distance；

who　stood　there　motionless　and　as　if　fascinated；　looking　up

to　where　I　had　appearedlooking；　that　is；　not　so　much

straight　at　me　as　at　something　that　was　apparently　above　me。

There　was　clearly　another　person　above　methere　was　a　person

on　the　tower；　but　the　presence　on　the　lawn　was　not　in　the　least

what　I　had　conceived　and　had　confidently　hurried　to　meet。

The　presence　on　the　lawnI　felt　sick　as　I　made　it　out

was　poor　little　Miles　himself。







　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　　XI





It　was　not　till　late　next　day　that　I　spoke　to　Mrs。　Grose；

the　rigor　with　which　I　kept　my　pupils　in　sight　making　it　often

difficult　to　meet　her　privately；　and　the　more　as　we　each　felt

the　importance　of　not　provokingon　the　part　of　the　servants

quite　as　much　as　on　that　of　the　childrenany　suspicion

of　a　secret　flurry　or　that　of　a　discussion　of　mysteries。

I　drew　a　great　security　in　this　particular　from　her　mere

smooth　aspect。　　There　was　nothing　in　her　fresh　face　to　pass

on　to　others　my　horrible　confidences。　　She　believed　me；

I　was　sure；　absolutely：　　if　she　hadn't　I　don't　know　what　would

have　become　of　me；　for　I　couldn't　have　borne　the　business　alone。

But　she　was　a　magnificent　monument　to　the　blessing　of　a　want

of　imagination；　and　if　she　could　see　in　our　little　charges　nothing

but　their　beauty　and　amiability；　their　happiness　and　cleverness；

she　had　no　direct　communication　with　the　sources　of　my　trouble。

If　they　had　been　at　all　visibly　blighted　or　battered；　she　would

doubtless　have　grown；　on　tracing　it　back；　haggard　enough

to　match　them；　as　matters　stood；　however；　I　could　feel　her；

when　she　surveyed　them；　with　her　large　white　arms　folded

and　the　habit　of　serenity　in　all　her　look；　thank　the　Lord's

mercy　that　if　they　were　ruined　the　pieces　would　still　serve。

Flights　of　fancy　gave　place；　in　her　mind；　to　a　steady　fireside　glow；

and　I　had　already　begun　to　perceive　how；　with　the　development

of　the　conviction　thatas　time　went　on　without　a　public　accident

our　young　things　could；　after　all；　look　out　for　themselves；

she　addressed　her　greatest　solicitude　to　the　sad　case　presented

by　their　instructress。　　That；　for　myself；　was　a　sound　simplification：

I　could　engage　that；　to　the　world；　my　face　should　tell　no　tales；

but　it　would　have　been；　in　the　conditions；　an　immense　added

strain　to　find　myself　anxious　about　hers。



At　the　hour　I　now　speak　of　she　had　joined　me；　under　pressure；

on　the　terrace；　where；　with　the　lapse　of　the　season；　the　afternoon

sun　was　now　agreeable；　and　we　sat　there　together　while；　before　us；

at　a　distance；　but　within　call　if　we　wished；　the　children

strolled　to　and　fro　in　one　of　their　most　manageable　moods。

They　moved　slowly；　in　unison；　below　us；　over　the　lawn；　the　boy；

as　they　went；　reading　aloud　from　a　storybook　and　passing

his　arm　round　his　sister　to　keep　her　quite　in　touch。

Mrs。　Grose　watched　them　with　positive　placidity；　then　I　caught

the　suppressed　intellectual　creak　with　which　she　conscientiously

turned　to　take　from　me　a　view　of　the　back　of　the　tapestry。

I　had　made　her　a　receptacle　of　lurid　things；　but　there　was　an　odd

recognition　of　my　superioritymy　accomplishments　and　my　function

in　her　patience　under　my　pain。　　She　offered　her　mind　to　my

disclosures　as；　had　I　wished　to　mix　a　witch's　broth　and　proposed　it

with　assurance；　she　would　have　held　out　a　large　clean　saucepan。

This　had　become　thoroughly　her　attitude　by　the　time　that；

in　my　recital　of　the　events　of　the　night；　I　reached　the　point

of　what　Miles　had　said　to　me　when；　after　seeing　him；　at　such

a　monstrous　hour；　almost　on　the　very　spot　where　he　happened

now　to　be；　I　had　gone　down　to　bring　him　in；　choosing　then；

at　the　window；　with　a　concentrated　need　of　not　alarming　the　house；

rather　that　method　than　a　signal　more　resonant。　　I　had　left

her　meanwhile　in　little　doubt　of　my　small　hope　of　representing

with　success　even　to　her　actual　sympathy　my　sense　of　the　real

splendor　of　the　little　inspiration　with　which；　after　I　had　got

him　into　the　house；　the　boy　met　my　final　articulate　challenge。

As　soon　as　I　appeared　in　the　moonlight　on　the　terrace；

he　had　come　to　me　as　straight　as　possible；　on　which　I　had　taken

his　hand　without　a　word　and　led　him；　through　the　dark　spaces；

up　the　staircase　where　Quint　had　so　hungrily　hovered　for　him；

along　the　lobby　where　I　had　listened　and　trembled；　and　so　to

his　forsaken　room。



Not　a　sound；　on　the　way；　had　passed　between　us；　and　I　had　wondered

oh；　HOW　I　had　wondered！if　he　were　groping　about　in　his

little　mind　for　something　plausible　and　not　too　grotesque。

It　would　tax　his　invention；　certainly；　and　I　felt；　this　time；

over　his　real　embarrassment；　a　curious　thrill　of　triumph。

It　was　a　sharp　trap　for　the　inscrutable！　　He　couldn't　play　any

longer　at　innocence；　so　how　the　deuce　would　he　get　out　of　it？

There　beat　in　me　indeed；　with　the　passionate　throb　of　this

question　an　equal　dumb　appeal　as　to　how　the　deuce　_I_　should。

I　was　confronted　at　last；　as　never　yet；　with　all　the　risk

attached　even　now　to　sounding　my　own　horrid　note。

I　remember　in　fact　that　as　we　pushed　into　his　little　chamber；

where　the　bed　had　not　been　slept　in　at　all　and　the　window；

uncovered　to　the　moonlight；　made　the　place　so　clear　that　there

was　no　need　of　striking　a　matchI　remember　how　I　suddenly　dropped；

sank　upon　the　edge　of　the　bed　from　the　force　of　the　idea

that　he　must　know　how　he　really；　as　they　say；　〃had〃　me。

He　could　do　what　he　liked；　with　all　his　cleverness　to　help　him；

so　long　as　I　should　continue　to　defer　to　the　old　tradition

of　the　criminality　of　those　caretakers　of　the　young　who

minister　to　superstitions　and　fears。　　He　〃had〃　me　indeed；

and　in　a　cleft　stick；　for　who　would　ever　absolve　me；　who　would

consent　that　I　should　go　unhung；　if；　by　the　faintest　tremor

of　an　overture；　I　were　the　first　to　introduce　into　our　perfect

intercourse　an　element　so　dire？　　No；　no：　　it　was　useless

to　attempt　to　convey　to　Mrs。　Grose；　just　as　it　is　scarcely

less　so　to　attempt　to　suggest　here；　how；　in　our　short；

stiff　brush　in　the　dark；　he　fairly　shook　me　with　admiration。

I　was　of　course　thoroughly　kind　and　merciful；　never；　never　yet

had　I　placed　on　his　little　shoulders　hands　of　such　tenderness

as　those　with　which；　while　I　rested　against　the　bed；

I　held　him　there　well　under　fire。　　I　had　no　alternative　but；

in　form　at　least；　to　put　it　to　him。



〃You　must　tell　me　nowand　all　the　truth。　　What　did　you　go　out　for？

What　were　you　doing　there？〃



I　can　still　see　his　wonderful　smile；　the　whites　of　his　beautiful　eyes；

and　the　uncovering　of　his　little　teeth　shine　to　me　in　the　dusk。

〃If　I　tell　you　why；　will　you　understan