david copperfield(大卫.科波维尔)-第17节
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turned； and Miss Murdstone came in with some bread and meat；
and milk。 These she put down upon the table without a word；
glaring at me the while with exemplary firmness； and then retired；
locking the door after her。
Long after it was dark I sat there； wondering whether anybody
else would come。 When this appeared improbable for that night； I
undressed； and went to bed； and； there； I began to wonder
fearfully what would be done to me。 Whether it was a criminal act
that I had committed？ Whether I should be taken into custody；
and sent to prison？ Whether I was at all in danger of being
hanged？
I never shall forget the waking； next morning； the being
cheerful and fresh for the first moment； and then the being
weighed down by the stale and dismal oppression of
remembrance。 Miss Murdstone reappeared before I was out of
bed； told me； in so many words； that I was free to walk in the
garden for half an hour and no longer； and retired； leaving the
door open； that I might avail myself of that permission。
I did so； and did so every morning of my imprisonment； which
lasted five days。 If I could have seen my mother alone； I should
have gone down on my knees to her and besought her forgiveness；
but I saw no one； Miss Murdstone excepted； during the whole
time—except at evening prayers in the parlour； to which I was
escorted by Miss Murdstone after everybody else was placed；
where I was stationed； a young outlaw； all alone by myself near the
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
door； and whence I was solemnly conducted by my jailer； before
any one arose from the devotional posture。 I only observed that
my mother was as far off from me as she could be； and kept her
face another way so that I never saw it； and that Mr。 Murdstone’s
hand was bound up in a large linen wrapper。
The length of those five days I can convey no idea of to any one。
They occupy the place of years in my remembrance。 The way in
which I listened to all the incidents of the house that made
themselves audible to me； the ringing of bells； the opening and
shutting of doors； the murmuring of voices； the footsteps on the
stairs； to any laughing； whistling； or singing； outside； which
seemed more dismal than anything else to me in my solitude and
disgrace—the uncertain pace of the hours； especially at night；
when I would wake thinking it was morning； and find that the
family were not yet gone to bed； and that all the length of night
had yet to come—the depressed dreams and nightmares I had—
the return of day； noon； afternoon； evening； when the boys played
in the churchyard； and I watched them from a distance within the
room； being ashamed to show myself at the window lest they
should know I was a prisoner—the strange sensation of never
hearing myself speak—the fleeting intervals of something like
cheerfulness； which came with eating and drinking； and went
away with it—the setting in of rain one evening； with a fresh smell；
and its coming down faster and faster between me and the church；
until it and gathering night seemed to quench me in gloom； and
fear； and remorse—all this appears to have gone round and round
for years instead of days； it is so vividly and strongly stamped on
my remembrance。 On the last night of my restraint； I was
awakened by hearing my own name spoken in a whisper。 I started
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
up in bed； and putting out my arms in the dark； said：
‘Is that you； Peggotty？’
There was no immediate answer； but presently I heard my
name again； in a tone so very mysterious and awful； that I think I
should have gone into a fit； if it had not occurred to me that it must
have come through the keyhole。
I groped my way to the door； and putting my own lips to the
keyhole； whispered： ‘Is that you； Peggotty dear？’
‘Yes； my own precious Davy；’ she replied。 ‘Be as soft as a
mouse； or the Cat’ll hear us。’
I understood this to mean Miss Murdstone； and was sensible of
the urgency of the case； her room being close by。
‘How’s mama； dear Peggotty？ Is she very angry with me？’
I could hear Peggotty crying softly on her side of the keyhole； as
I was doing on mine； before she answered。 ‘No。 Not very。’
‘What is going to be done with me； Peggotty dear？ Do you
know？’
‘School。 Near London；’ was Peggotty’s answer。 I was obliged to
get her to repeat it； for she spoke it the first time quite down my
throat； in consequence of my having forgotten to take my mouth
away from the keyhole and put my ear there； and though her
words tickled me a good deal； I didn’t hear them。
‘When； Peggotty？’
‘Tomorrow。’
‘Is that the reason why Miss Murdstone took the clothes out of
my drawers？’ which she had done； though I have forgotten to
mention it。
‘Yes；’ said Peggotty。 ‘Box。’
‘Shan’t I see mama？’
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
‘Yes；’ said Peggotty。 ‘Morning。’
Then Peggotty fitted her mouth close to the keyhole； and
delivered these words through it with as much feeling and
earnestness as a keyhole has ever been the medium of
communicating； I will venture to assert： shooting in each broken
little sentence in a convulsive little burst of its own。
‘Davy； dear。 If I ain’t been azackly as intimate with you。 Lately；
as I used to be。 It ain’t because I don’t love you。 just as well and
more； my pretty poppet。 It’s because I thought it better for you。
And for someone else besides。 Davy； my darling； are you listening？
Can you hear？’
‘Ye…ye…ye…yes； Peggotty！’ I sobbed。
‘My own！’ said Peggotty； with infinite compassion。 ‘What I want
to say； is。 That you must never forget me。 For I’ll never forget you。
And I’ll take as much care of your mama； Davy。 As ever I took of
you。 And I won’t leave her。 The day may come when she’ll be glad
to lay her poor head。 On her stupid； cross old Peggotty’s arm
again。 And I’ll write to you； my dear。 Though I ain’t no scholar。
And I’ll—I’ll—’ Peggotty fell to kissing the keyhole； as she couldn’t
kiss me。
‘Thank you； dear Peggotty！’ said I。 ‘Oh； thank you！ Thank you！
Will you promise me one thing； Peggotty？ Will you write and tell
Mr。 Peggotty and little Em’ly； and Mrs。 Gummidge and Ham； that
I am not so bad as they might suppose； and that I sent ’em all my
love—especially to little Em’ly？ Will you； if you please； Peggotty？’
The kind soul promised； and we both of us kissed the keyhole
with the greatest affection—I patted it with my hand； I recollect； as
if it had been her honest face—and parted。 From that night there
grew up in my breast a feeling for Peggotty which I cannot very
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
well define。 She did not replace my mother； no one could do that；
but she came into a vacancy in my heart； which closed upon her；
and I felt towards her something I have never felt for any other
human being。 It was a sort of comical affection； too； and yet if she
had died； I cannot think what I should have done； or how I should
have acted out the tragedy it would have been to me。
In the morning Miss Murdstone appeared as usual； and told me
I was going to school； which was not altogether such news to me
as she supposed。 She also informed me that when I was dressed； I
was to come downstairs into the parlour； and have my breakfast。
There； I found my mother； very pale and with red eyes： into whose
arms I ran； and begged her pardon from my suffering soul。
‘Oh； Davy！’ she said。 ‘That you could hurt anyone I love！ Try to
be better； pray to be better！ I forgive you； but I am so grieved；
Davy； that you should have such bad passions in your heart。’
They had persuaded her that I was a wicked fellow； and she
was more sorry for that than for my going away。 I felt it sorely。 I
tried to eat my parting breakfast； but my tears dropped upon my
bread…and…butter； and trickled into my tea。 I saw my mother look
at me sometimes； and then glance at the watchful Miss Murdstone；
and than look down； or look away。
‘Master Copperfield’s box there！’ said Miss Murdstone； when
wheels were heard at the gate。
I looked for Peggotty； but it was not she； neither she nor Mr。
Murdstone appeared。 My former acquaintance； the carrier； was at
the door。 the box was taken out to his cart； and lifted in。 ‘Clara！’
said Miss Murdstone； in her warning note。
‘Ready； my dear Jane；’ returned my mother。 ‘Good…bye； Davy。
You are going for your own good。 Good…bye； my child。 You will
Charles Dickens ElecBook Classics
David Copperfield
come home in the holidays； and be a better boy。’
‘Clara！’ Miss Murdstone repeated。
‘Certainly； my dear Jane；’ replied my mother； who was holding
me。 ‘I forgive you； my dear boy。 God bless you！’
‘Clara！’ Miss Murdstone repeated。
Miss Murdstone was good enough to take me out to the cart；
and to say on the way that she hoped I would repent； before I
came to a bad end； and then I got into the cart； and the lazy horse
walked o
