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book xiv。' tied together like dogs; and a wife ought not to be so
greedily enamoured of her husband's foreparts; that she cannot endure to
see him turn his back; if occasion be。  But may not this saying of that
excellent painter of woman's humours be here introduced; to show the
reason of their complaints?

         〃Uxor; si cesses; aut to amare cogitat;
          Aut tete amari; aut potare; aut animo obsequi;
          Et tibi bene esse soli; cum sibi sit male;〃

     '〃Your wife; if you loiter; thinks that you love or are beloved; or
     that you are drinking or following your inclination; and that it is
     well for you when it is ill for her (all the pleasure is yours and
     hers all the care)。〃
     Terence; Adelph。; act i。; sc。 I; v。  7。'

or may it not be; that of itself opposition and contradiction entertain
and nourish them; and that they sufficiently accommodate themselves;
provided they incommodate you?

In true friendship; wherein I am perfect; I more give myself to my
friend; than I endeavour to attract him to me。  I am not only better
pleased in doing him service than if he conferred a benefit upon me;
but; moreover; had rather he should do himself good than me; and he most
obliges me when he does so; and if absence be either more pleasant or
convenient for him; 'tis also more acceptable to me than his presence;
neither is it properly absence; when we can write to one another: I have
sometimes made good use of our separation from one another: we better
filled and further extended the possession of life in being parted。
He 'La Boetie。' lived; enjoyed; and saw for me; and I for him; as
fully as if he had himself been there; one part of us remained idle; and
we were too much blended in one another when we were together; the
distance of place rendered the conjunction of our wills more rich。  This
insatiable desire of personal presence a little implies weakness in the
fruition of souls。

As to what concerns age; which is alleged against me; 'tis quite
contrary; 'tis for youth to subject itself to common opinions; and to
curb itself to please others; it has wherewithal to please both the
people and itself; we have but too much ado to please ourselves alone。
As natural conveniences fail; let us supply them with those that are
artificial。  'Tis injustice to excuse youth for pursuing its pleasures;
and to forbid old men to seek them。  When young; I concealed my wanton
passions with prudence; now I am old; I chase away melancholy by debauch。
And thus do the platonic laws forbid men to travel till forty or fifty
years old; so that travel might be more useful and instructive in so
mature an age。  I should sooner subscribe to the second article of the
same Laws; which forbids it after threescore。

〃But; at such an age; you will never return from so long a journey。〃
What care I for that?  I neither undertake it to return; nor to finish it
my business is only to keep myself in motion; whilst motion pleases me;
I only walk for the walk's sake。  They who run after a benefit or a hare;
run not; they only run who run at base; and to exercise their running。
My design is divisible throughout: it is not grounded upon any great
hopes: every day concludes my expectation: and the journey of my life is
carried on after the same manner。  And yet I have seen places enough a
great way off; where I could have wished to have stayed。  And why not;
if Chrysippus; Cleanthes; Diogenes; Zeno; Antipater; so many sages of the
sourest sect; readily abandoned their country; without occasion of
complaint; and only for the enjoyment of another air。  In earnest; that
which most displeases me in all my travels is; that I cannot resolve to
settle my abode where I should best like; but that I must always propose
to myself to return; to accommodate myself to the common humour。

If I feared to die in any other place than that of my birth; if I thought
I should die more uneasily remote from my own family; I should hardly go
out of France; I should not; without fear; step out of my parish; I feel
death always pinching me by the throat or by the back。  But I am
otherwise constituted; 'tis in all places alike to me。  Yet; might I have
my choice; I think I should rather choose to die on horseback than in
bed; out of my own house; and far from my own people。  There is more
heartbreaking than consolation in taking leave of one's friends; I am
willing to omit that civility; for that; of all the offices of
friendship; is the only one that is unpleasant; and I could; with all my
heart; dispense with that great and eternal farewell。  If there be any
convenience in so many standers…by; it brings an hundred inconveniences
along with it。  I have seen many dying miserably surrounded with all this
train: 'tis a crowd that chokes them。  'Tis against duty; and is a
testimony of little kindness and little care; to permit you to die in
repose; one torments your eyes; another your ears; another your tongue;
you have neither sense nor member that is not worried by them。  Your
heart is wounded with compassion to hear the mourning of friends; and;
perhaps with anger; to hear the counterfeit condolings of pretenders。
Who ever has been delicate and sensitive; when well; is much more so when
ill。  In such a necessity; a gentle hand is required; accommodated to his
sentiment; to scratch him just in the place where he itches; otherwise
scratch him not at all。  If we stand in need of a wise woman 'midwife;
Fr。 'sage femme'。' to bring us into the world; we have much more need
of a still wiser man to help us out of it。  Such a one; and a friend to
boot; a man ought to purchase at any cost for such an occasion。  I am not
yet arrived to that pitch of disdainful vigour that is fortified in
itself; that nothing can assist or disturb; I am of a lower form; I
endeavour to hide myself; and to escape from this passage; not by fear;
but by art。  I do not intend in this act of dying to make proof and show
of my constancy。 For whom should I do it? all the right and interest I
have in reputation will then cease。  I content myself with a death
involved within itself; quiet; solitary; and all my own; suitable to my
retired and private life; quite contrary to the Roman superstition; where
a man was looked upon as unhappy who died without speaking; and who had
not his nearest relations to close his eyes。  I have enough to do to
comfort myself; without having to console others; thoughts enough in my
head; not to need that circumstances should possess me with new; and
matter enough to occupy me without borrowing。  This affair is out of the
part of society; 'tis the act of one single person。  Let us live and be
merry amongst our friends; let us go repine and die amongst strangers; a
man may find those; for his money; who will shift his pillow and rub his
feet; and will trouble him no more than he would have them; who will
present to him an indifferent countenance; and suffer him to govern
himself; and to complain according to his own method。

I wean myself daily by my reason from this childish and inhuman humour;
of desiring by our sufferings to move the compassion and mourning of our
friends: we stretch our own incommodities beyond their just extent when
we extract tears from others; and the constancy which we commend in every
one in supporting his adverse fortune; we accuse and reproach in our
friends when the evil is our own; we are not satisfied that they should
be sensible of our condition only; unless they be; moreover; afflicted。
A man should diffuse joy; but; as much as he can; smother grief。  He who
makes himself lamented without reason is a man not to be lamented when
there shall be real cause: to be always complaining is the way never to
be lamented; by making himself always in so pitiful a taking; he is never
commiserated by any。  He who makes himself out dead when he is alive; is
subject to be thought living when he is dying。  I have seen some who have
taken it ill when they have been told that they looked well; and that
their pulse was good; restrain their smiles; because they betrayed a
recovery; and be angry; at their health because it was not to be
lamented: and; which is a great deal more; these were not women。
I describe my infirmities; such as they really are; at most; and avoid
all expressions of evil prognostic and composed exclamations。  If not
mirth; at least a temperate countenance in the standers…by; is proper in
the presence of a wise sick man: he does not quarrel with health; for;
seeing himself in a contrary condition; he is pleased to contemplate it
sound and entire in others; and at least to enjoy it for company: he does
not; for feeling himself melt away; abandon all living thoughts; nor
avoid ordinary discourse。  I would study sickness whilst I am well; when
it has seized me; it will make its impression real enough; without the
help of my imagination。  We prepare ourselves beforehand for the journeys
we undertake; and resolve upon them; we leave the appointment of the hour
when to take horse to the company; and in their favour defer it。

I find this unexpected advantage in the publication of my manners; that
it in some sort serves me for a rule。

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