crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第92节
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shall come。。。 if I can。 Good…bye。〃
And without holding out his hand he walked away。
〃But where are you going？ What are you doing？ What's the matter with
you？ How can you go on like this？〃 Razumihin muttered； at his wits'
end。
Raskolnikov stopped once more。
〃Once for all； never ask me about anything。 I have nothing to tell
you。 Don't come to see me。 Maybe I'll come here。。。。 Leave me； but
don't leave them。 Do you understand me？〃
It was dark in the corridor； they were standing near the lamp。 For a
minute they were looking at one another in silence。 Razumihin
remembered that minute all his life。 Raskolnikov's burning and
intent eyes grew more penetrating every moment； piercing into his
soul； into his consciousness。 Suddenly Razumihin started。 Something
strange； as it were； passed between them。。。。 Some idea； some hint as
it were； slipped； something awful； hideous； and suddenly understood on
both sides。。。。 Razumihin turned pale。
〃Do you understand now？〃 said Raskolnikov； his face twitching
nervously。 〃Go back； go to them；〃 he said suddenly； and turning
quickly； he went out of the house。
I will not attempt to describe how Razumihin went back to the
ladies； how he soothed them； how he protested that Rodya needed rest
in his illness； protested that Rodya was sure to come； that he would
come every day； that he was very； very much upset； that he must not be
irritated； that he； Razumihin； would watch over him； would get him a
doctor； the best doctor； a consultation。。。。 In fact from that
evening Razumihin took his place with them as a son and a brother。
Chapter Four
RASKOLNIKOV WENT straight to the house on the canal bank where Sonia
lived。 It was an old green house of three storeys。 He found the porter
and obtained from him vague directions as to the whereabouts of
Kapernaumov； the tailor。 Having found in the corner of the courtyard
the entrance to the dark and narrow staircase； he mounted to the
second floor and came out into a gallery that ran round the whole
second storey over the yard。 While he was wandering in the darkness；
uncertain where to turn for Kapernaumov's door； a door opened three
paces from him； he mechanically took hold of it。
〃Who is there？〃 a woman's voice asked uneasily。
〃It's I。。。 come to see you；〃 answered Raskolnikov and he walked into
the tiny entry。
On a broken chair stood a candle in a battered copper candlestick。
〃It's you！ Good heavens！〃 cried Sonia weakly and she stood rooted to
the spot。
〃Which is your room？ This way？〃 and Raskolnikov； trying not to
look at her； hastened in。
A minute later Sonia； too； came in with the candle； set down the
candlestick and； completely disconcerted； stood before him
inexpressibly agitated and apparently frightened by his unexpected
visit。 The colour rushed suddenly to her pale face and tears came into
her eyes。。。 She felt sick and ashamed and happy； too。。。。 Raskolnikov
turned away quickly and sat on a chair by the table。 He scanned the
room in a rapid glance。
It was a large but exceeding low…pitched room； the only one let by
the Kapernaumovs； to whose rooms a closed door led in the wall on
the left。 In the opposite side on the right hand wall was another
door； always kept locked。 That led to the next flat； which formed a
separate lodging。 Sonia's room looked like a barn； it was a very
irregular quadrangle and this gave it a grotesque appearance。 A wall
with three windows looking out on to the canal ran aslant so that
one corner formed a very acute angle； and it was difficult to see in
it without very strong light。 The other corner was
disproportionately obtuse。 There was scarcely any furniture in the big
room： in the corner on the right was a bedstead； beside it； nearest
the door； a chair。 A plain； deal table covered by a blue cloth stood
against the same wall； close to the door into the other flat。 Two
rush…bottom chairs stood by the table。 On the opposite wall near the
acute angle stood a small plain wooden chest of drawers looking； as it
were； lost in a desert。 That was all there was in the room。 The
yellow； scratched and shabby wall…paper was black in the corners。 It
must have been damp and full of fumes in the winter。 There was every
sign of poverty； even the bedstead had no curtain。
Sonia looked in silence at her visitor； who was so attentively and
unceremoniously scrutinising her room； and even began at last to
tremble with terror； as though she was standing before her judge and
the arbiter of her destinies。
〃I am late。。。。 eleven； isn't it？〃 he asked； still not lifting his
eyes。
〃Yes；〃 muttered Sonia； 〃oh； yes； it is；〃 she added； hastily； as
though in that lay her means of escape。 〃My landlady's clock has
just struck。。。 I heard it myself。。。。〃
〃I've come to you for the last time；〃 Raskolnikov went on
gloomily； although this was the first time。 〃I may perhaps not see you
again。。。〃
〃Are you。。。 going away？〃
〃I don't know。。。 to…morrow。。。。〃
〃Then you are not coming to Katerina Ivanovna to…morrow？〃 Sonia's
voice shook。
〃I don't know。 I shall know to…morrow morning。。。。 Never mind that：
I've come to say one word。。。。〃
He raised his brooding eyes to her and suddenly noticed that he
was sitting down while she was all the while standing before him。
〃Why are you standing？ Sit down；〃 he said in a changed voice； gentle
and friendly。
She sat down。 He looked kindly and almost compassionately at her。
〃How thin you are！ What a hand！ Quite transparent； like a dead
hand。〃
He took her hand。 Sonia smiled faintly。
〃I have always been like that；〃 she said。
〃Even when you lived at home？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃Of course； you were；〃 he added abruptly and the expression of his
face and the sound of his voice changed again suddenly。
He looked round him once more。
〃You rent this room from the Kapernaumovs？〃
〃Yes。。。。〃
〃They live there； through that door？〃
〃Yes。。。。 They have another room like this。〃
〃All in one room？〃
〃Yes。〃
〃I should be afraid in your room at night；〃 he observed gloomily。
〃They are very good people； very kind；〃 answered Sonia； who still
seemed bewildered； 〃and all the furniture； everything。。。 everything is
theirs。 And they are very kind and the children； too； often come to
see me。〃
〃They all stammer； don't they？〃
〃Yes。。。。 He stammers and he's lame。 And his wife； too。。。。 It's not
exactly that she stammers； but she can't speak plainly。 She is a
very kind woman。 And he used to
