crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第49节
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through one fool！ Is it possible？〃
〃That his hands trembled？〃 observed Zametov； 〃yes； that's quite
possible。 That I feel quite sure is possible。 Sometimes one can't
stand things。〃
〃Can't stand that？〃
〃Why； could you stand it then？ No； I couldn't。 For the sake of a
hundred roubles to face such a terrible experience！ To go with false
notes into a bank where it's their business to spot that sort of
thing！ No； I should not have the face to do it。 Would you？〃
Raskolnikov had an intense desire again 〃to put his tongue out。〃
Shivers kept running down his spine。
〃I should do it quite differently；〃 Raskolnikov began。 〃This is
how I would change the notes： I'd count the first thousand three or
four times backwards and forwards； look at every note and then I'd set
to the second thousand； I'd count that half way through and then
hold some fifty rouble note to the light； then turn it； then hold it
to the light again… to see whether it was a good one？ 'I am afraid；' I
would say。 'A relation of mine lost twenty…five roubles the other
day through a false note；' and then I'd tell them the whole story。 And
after I began counting the third； 'no； excuse me；' I would say； 'I
fancy I made a mistake in the seventh hundred in that second thousand；
I am not sure。' And so I would give up the third thousand and go
back to the second and so on to the end。 And when I had finished；
I'd pick out one from the fifth and one from the second thousand and
take them again to the light and ask again 'change them； please；'
and put the clerk into such a stew that he would not know how to get
rid of me。 When I'd finished and had gone out； I'd come back； 'No；
excuse me；' and ask for some explanation。 That's how I'd do it。〃
〃Foo； what terrible things you say！〃 said Zametov； laughing。 〃But
all that is only talk。 I dare say when it came to deeds you'd make a
slip。 I believe that even a practised； desperate man cannot always
reckon on himself； much less you and I。 To take an example near
home… that old woman murdered in our district。 The murderer seems to
have been a desperate fellow； he risked everything in open daylight；
was saved by a miracle… but his hands shook； too。 He did not succeed
in robbing the place； he' couldn't stand it。 That was clear from
the。。。〃
Raskolnikov seemed offended。
〃Clear？ Why don't you catch him then？〃 he cried； maliciously
gibing at Zametov。
〃Well； they will catch him。〃
〃Who？ You？ Do you suppose you could catch him？ You've a tough job！ A
great point for you is whether a man is spending money or not。 If he
had no money and suddenly begins spending； he must be the man。 So that
any child can mislead you。〃
〃The fact is they always do that； though；〃 answered Zametov。 〃A
man will commit a clever murder at the risk of his life and then at
once he goes drinking in a tavern。 They are caught spending money；
they are not all as cunning as you are。 You wouldn't go to a tavern；
of course？〃
Raskolnikov frowned and looked steadily at Zametov。
〃You seem to enjoy the subject and would like to know how I should
behave in that case； too？〃 he asked with displeasure。
〃I should like to；〃 Zametov answered firmly and seriously。
Somewhat too much earnestness began to appear in his words and looks。
〃Very much？〃
〃Very much！〃
〃All right then。 This is how I should behave；〃 Raskolnikov began；
again bringing his face close to Zametov's； again staring at him and
speaking in a whisper； so that the latter positively shuddered。
〃This is what I should have done。 I should have taken the money and
jewels； I should have walked out of there and have gone straight to
some deserted place with fences round it and scarcely any one to be
seen； some kitchen garden or place of that sort。 I should have
looked out beforehand some stone weighing a hundredweight or more
which had been lying in the corner from the time the house was
built。 I would lift that stone… there would be sure to be a hollow
under it； and I would put the jewels and money in that hole。 Then
I'd roll the stone back so that it would look as before； would press
it down with my foot and walk away。 And for a year or two； three
maybe； I would not touch it。 And； well； they could search！ There'd
be no trace。〃
〃You are a madman；〃 said Zametov； and for some reason he too spoke
in a whisper； and moved away from Raskolnikov； whose eyes were
glittering。 He had turned fearfully pale and his upper lip was
twitching and quivering。 He bent down as close as possible to Zametov；
and his lips began to move without uttering a word。 This lasted for
half a minute； he knew what he was doing； but could not restrain
himself。 The terrible word trembled on his lips； like the latch on
that door； in another moment it will break out； in another moment he
will let it go； he will speak out。
〃And what if it was I who murdered the old woman and Lizaveta？〃 he
said suddenly and… realised what he had done。
Zametov looked wildly at him and turned white as the tablecloth。 His
face wore a contorted smile。
〃But is it possible？〃 he brought out faintly。 Raskolnikov looked
wrathfully at him。
〃Own up that you believed it； yes； you did？〃
〃Not a bit of it； I believe it less than ever now；〃 Zametov cried
hastily。
〃I've caught my cocksparrow！ So you did believe it before； if now
you believe less than ever？〃
〃Not at all；〃 cried Zametov； obviously embarrassed。 〃Have you been
frightening me so as to lead up to this？〃
〃You don't believe it then？ What were you talking about behind my
back when I went out of the police office？ And why did the Explosive
Lieutenant question me after I fainted？ Hey； there；〃 he shouted to the
waiter； getting up and taking his cap； 〃how much？〃
〃Thirty copecks；〃 the latter replied； running up。
〃And there is twenty copecks for vodka。 See what a lot of money！〃 he
held out his shaking hand to Zametov with notes in it。 〃Red notes
and blue； twenty…five roubles。 Where did I get them？ And where did
my new clothes come from？ You know I had not a copeck。 You've
cross…examined my landlady； I'll be bound。。。。 Well； that's enough！
Assez cause！ Till we meet again！〃
He went out； trembling all over from a sort of wild hysterical
sensation； in which there was an element of insufferable rapture。
Yet he was gloomy and terribly tired。 His face was twisted as after
a fit。 His fatigue increased rapidly。 Any shock； any irritating
sensation stimulated and revived his energies at once； but his
strength failed as quickly when the stimulus was removed。
Zametov； left alone； sat for a long time in the same place；
plunged in thought。 Raskolnikov had unwittingly worked a revolution in
his brain on a certain point and had made up his mind for him
conclusively。
〃Ilya Petrovitch is a blockhead；〃 he decided。
Raskolnikov had hardly opened the door of the restaurant when he
stumbled against Razumihin on the steps。 They did not see each other
till they almost knocked against each other。 For a moment they stood
looking each other up and down。 Ra
