crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第20节
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extraordinary impression； and here some one seemed to be speaking
expressly for him； the student began telling his friend various
details about Alyona Ivanovna。
〃She is first rate；〃 he said。 〃You can always get money from her。
She is as rich as a Jew； she can give you five thousand roubles at a
time and she is not above taking a pledge for a rouble。 Lots of our
fellows have had dealings with her。 But she is an awful old harpy。。。。〃
And he began describing how spiteful and uncertain she was； how if
you were only a day late with your interest the pledge was lost； how
she gave a quarter of the value of an article and took five and even
seven percent a month on it and so on。 The student chattered on；
saying that she had a sister Lizaveta； whom the wretched little
creature was continually beating； and kept in complete bondage like
a small child； though Lizaveta was at least six feet high。
〃There's a phenomenon for you；〃 cried the student and he laughed。
They began talking about Lizaveta。 The student spoke about her
with a peculiar relish and was continually laughing and the officer
listened with great interest and asked him to send Lizaveta to do some
mending for him。 Raskolnikov did not miss a word and learned
everything about her。 Lizaveta was younger than the old woman and
was her half…sister； being the child of a different mother。 She was
thirty…five。 She worked day and night for her sister； and besides
doing the cooking and the washing； she did sewing and worked as a
charwoman and gave her sister all she earned。 She did not dare to
accept an order or job of any kind without her sister's permission。
The old woman had already made her will； and Lizaveta knew of it；
and by this will she would not get a farthing； nothing but the
movables； chairs and so on； all the money was left to a monastery in
the province of N___； that prayers might be said for her in
perpetuity。 Lizaveta was of lower rank than her sister； unmarried
and awfully uncouth in appearance； remarkably tall with long feet that
looked as if they were bent outwards。 She always wore battered
goatskin shoes； and was clean in her person。 What the student
expressed most surprise and amusement about was the fact that Lizaveta
was continually with child。
〃But you say she is hideous？〃 observed the officer。
〃Yes； she is so dark…skinned and looks like a soldier dressed up；
but you know she is not at all hideous。 She has such a good…natured
face and eyes。 Strikingly so。 And the proof of it is that lots of
people are attracted by her。 She is such a soft； gentle creature；
ready to put up with anything； always willing； willing to do anything。
And her smile is really very sweet。〃
〃You seem to find her attractive yourself；〃 laughed the officer。
〃From her queerness。 No； I'll tell you what。 I could kill that
damned old woman and make off with her money； I assure you； without
the faintest conscience…prick；〃 the student added with warmth。 The
officer laughed again while Raskolnikov shuddered。 How strange it was！
〃Listen； I want to ask you a serious question；〃 the student said
hotly。 〃I was joking of course； but look here； on one side we have a
stupid； senseless； worthless； spiteful； ailing； horrid old woman；
not simply useless but doing actual mischief； who has not an idea what
she is living for herself； and who will die in a day or two in any
case。 You understand？ You understand？〃
〃Yes； yes； I understand；〃 answered the officer； watching his excited
companion attentively。
〃Well； listen then。 On the other side； fresh young lives thrown away
for want of help and by thousands； on every side！ A hundred thousand
good deeds could be done and helped； on that old woman's money which
will be buried in a monastery！ Hundreds； thousands perhaps； might be
set on the right path； dozens of families saved from destitution； from
ruin； from vice； from the Lock hospitals… and all with her money。 Kill
her； take her money and with the help of it devote oneself to the
service of humanity and the good of all。 What do you think； would
not one tiny crime be wiped out by thousands of good deeds？ For one
life thousands would be saved from corruption and decay。 One death；
and a hundred lives in exchange… it's simple arithmetic！ Besides； what
value has the life of that sickly； stupid； ill…natured old woman in
the balance of existence！ No more than the life of a louse； of a black
beetle； less in fact because the old woman is doing harm。 She is
wearing out the lives of others； the other day she bit Lizaveta's
finger out of spite； it almost had to be amputated。〃
〃Of course she does not deserve to live；〃 remarked the officer； 〃but
there it is； it's nature。〃
〃Oh； well； brother； but we have to correct and direct nature； and；
but for that； we should drown in an ocean of prejudice。 But for
that； there would never have been a single great man。 They talk of
duty； conscience… I don't want to say anything against duty and
conscience；… but the point is what do we mean by them。 Stay； I have
another question to ask you。 Listen！〃
〃No； you stay； I'll ask you a question。 Listen！〃
〃Well？〃
〃You are talking and speechifying away； but tell me； would you
kill the old woman yourself？〃
〃Of course not！ I was only arguing the justice of it。。。。 It's
nothing to do with me。。。。〃
〃But I think； if you would not do it yourself； there's no justice
about it。。。。 Let us have another game。〃
Raskolnikov was violently agitated。 Of course； it was all ordinary
youthful talk and thought； such as he had often heard before in
different forms and on different themes。 But why had he happened to
hear such a discussion and such ideas at the very moment when his
own brain was just conceiving。。。 the very same ideas？ And why； just at
the moment when he had brought away the embryo of his idea from the
old woman had he dropped at once upon a conversation about her？ This
coincidence always seemed strange to him。 This trivial talk in a
tavern had an immense influence on him in his later action； as
though there had really been in it something preordained； some guiding
hint。。。。
…
On returning from the Hay Market he flung himself on the sofa and
sat for a whole hour without stirring。 Meanwhile it got dark； he had
no candle and； indeed； it did not occur to him to light up。 He could
never recollect whether he had been thinking about anything at that
time。 At last he was conscious of his former fever and shivering；
and he realised with relief that he could lie down on the sofa。 Soon
heavy； leaden sleep came over him； as it were crushing him。
He slept an extraordinarily long time and without dreaming。
Nastasya； coming into his room at ten o'clock the next morning； had
difficulty in rousing him。 She brought him in tea and bread。 The tea
was again the second brew and again in her own tea…pot。
〃My goodness； how he sleeps！〃 she cried indignantly。 〃And he is
always asleep。〃
He got up with an effort。 His head ached； he stood up； took a turn
in his garret and sank back on the sofa again。
〃Going to sleep again；〃 cried Nastasya。 〃Are you ill； eh？〃
He made no reply。
〃Do you want some tea？〃
〃Afterwards；〃 he said with an effort； closing his eyes again and
turning to the wall。
Nastasya stood over him。
