crime and punishment(罪与罚)-第103节
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his arm away。
Several persons crowded inquisitively into the doorway。 Some of them
tried to get in。 All this took place almost instantaneously。
〃Go away； it's too soon！ Wait till you are sent for！。。。 Why have you
brought him so soon？〃 Porfiry Petrovitch muttered； extremely
annoyed； and as it were thrown out of his reckoning。
But Nikolay suddenly knelt down。
〃What's the matter？〃 cried Porfiry； surprised。
〃I am guilty！ Mine is the sin！ I am the murderer；〃 Nikolay
articulated suddenly； rather breathless； but speaking fairly loudly。
For ten seconds there was silence as though all had been struck
dumb； even the warder stepped back； mechanically retreated to the
door； and stood immovable。
〃What is it？〃 cried Porfiry Petrovitch； recovering from his
momentary stupefaction。
〃I am the murderer；〃 repeated Nikolay； after a brief pause。
〃What。。。 you。。。 what。。。 whom did you kill？〃 Porfiry Petrovitch was
obviously bewildered。
Nikolay again was silent for a moment。
〃Alyona Ivanovna and her sister Lizaveta Ivanovna； I。。。 killed。。。
with an axe。 Darkness came over me；〃 he added suddenly； and was
again silent。
He still remained on his knees。 Porfiry Petrovitch stood for some
moments as though meditating； but suddenly roused himself and waved
back the uninvited spectators。 They instantly vanished and closed
the door。 Then he looked towards Raskolnikov； who was standing in
the corner； staring wildly at Nikolay； and moved towards him； but
stopped short； looked from Nikolay to Raskolnikov and then again at
Nikolay； and seeming unable to restrain himself darted at the latter。
〃You're in too great a hurry；〃 he shouted at him； almost angrily。 〃I
didn't ask you what came over you。。。。 Speak； did you kill them？〃
〃I am the murderer。。。。 I want to give evidence；〃 Nikolay pronounced。
〃Ach！ What did you kill them with？〃
〃An axe。 I had it ready。〃
〃Ach； he is in a hurry！ Alone？〃
Nikolay did not understand the question。
〃Did you do it alone？〃
〃Yes； alone。 And Mitka is not guilty and had no share in it。〃
〃Don't be in a hurry about Mitka！ A…ach！ How was it you ran
downstairs like that at the time？ The porters met you both！〃
〃It was to put them off the scent。。。 I ran after Mitka；〃 Nikolay
replied hurriedly； as though he had prepared the answer。
〃I knew it！〃 cried Porfiry； with vexation。 〃It's not his own tale he
is telling；〃 he muttered as though to himself； and suddenly his eyes
rested on Raskolnikov again。
He was apparently so taken up with Nikolay that for a moment he
had forgotten Raskolnikov。 He was a little taken aback。
〃My dear Rodion Romanovitch； excuse me！〃 he flew up to him； 〃this
won't do； I'm afraid you must go。。。 it's no good your staying。。。 I
will。。。 you see； what a surprise！。。。 Good…bye！〃
And taking him by the arm； he showed him to the door。
〃I suppose you didn't expect it？〃 said Raskolnikov who； though he
had not yet fully grasped the situation； had regained his courage。
〃You did not expect it either； my friend。 See how your hand is
trembling！ He…he！〃
〃You're trembling； too； Porfiry Petrovitch！〃
〃Yes； I am； I didn't expect it。〃
They were already at the door； Porfiry was impatient for Raskolnikov
to be gone。
〃And your little surprise； aren't you going to show it to me？〃
Raskolnikov said； sarcastically。
〃Why； his teeth are chattering as he asks； he…he！ You are an
ironical person！ Come； till we meet！〃
〃I believe we can say good…bye！〃
〃That's in God's hands；〃 muttered Porfiry； with an unnatural smile。
As he walked through the office； Raskolnikov noticed that many
people were looking at him。 Among them he saw the two porters from the
house； whom he had invited that night to the police station。 They
stood there waiting。 But he was no sooner on the stairs than he
heard the voice of Porfiry Petrovitch behind him。 Turning round； he
saw the latter running after him； out of breath。
〃One word； Rodion Romanovitch； as to all the rest； it's in God's
hands； but as a matter of form there are some questions I shall have
to ask you。。。 so we shall meet again； shan't we？〃
And Porfiry stood still； facing him with a smile。
〃Shan't we？〃 he added again。
He seemed to want to say something more； but could not speak out。
〃You must forgive me； Porfiry Petrovitch； for what has just
passed。。。 I lost my temper；〃 began Raskolnikov； who had so far
regained his courage that he felt irresistibly inclined to display his
coolness。
〃Don't mention it； don't mention it；〃 Porfiry replied； almost
gleefully。 〃I myself； too。。。 I have a wicked temper； I admit it！ But
we shall meet again。 If it's God's will； we may see a great deal of
one another。〃
〃And will get to know each other through and through？〃 added
Raskolnikov。
〃Yes； know each other through and through；〃 assented Porfiry
Petrovitch； and he screwed up his eyes； looking earnestly at
Raskolnikov。 〃Now you're going to a birthday party？〃
〃To a funeral。〃
〃Of course； the funeral！ Take care of yourself； and get well。〃
〃I don't know what to wish you；〃 said Raskolnikov； who had begun
to descend the stairs； but looked back again。 〃I should like to wish
you success； but your office is such a comical one。〃
〃Why comical？〃 Porfiry Petrovitch had turned to go； but he seemed to
prick up his ears at this。
〃Why； how you must have been torturing and harassing that poor
Nikolay psychologically； after your fashion； till he confessed！ You
must have been at him day and night； proving to him that he was the
murderer； and now that he has confessed； you'll begin vivisecting
him again。 'You are lying；' you'll say。 'You are not the murderer！ You
can't be！ It's not your own tale you are telling！' You must admit it's
a comical business！〃
〃He…he…he！ You noticed then that I said to Nikolay just now that
it was not his own tale he was telling？〃
〃How could I help noticing it！〃
〃He…he！ You are quick…witted。 You notice everything！ You've really a
playful mind！ And you always fasten on the comic side。。。 he…he！ They
say that was the marked characteristic of Gogol； among the writers。〃
〃Yes； of Gogol。〃
〃Yes； of Gogol。。。。 I shall look forward to meeting you。〃
〃So shall I。〃
Raskolnikov walked straight home。 He was so muddled and bewildered
that on getting home he sat for a quarter of an hour on the sofa；
trying to collect his thoughts。 He did not attempt to think about
Nikolay； he was stupefied； he felt that his confession was something
inexplicable； amazing… something beyond his understanding。 But
Nikolay's confession was an actual fact。 The consequences of this fact
were clear to him at once； its fal
