stories by english authors in germany(旅德英国作家的故事)-第24节
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on a raft； plucking crusts out of the hands of famine and feeding on each
other's lives。 I follow sins beyond the moment of their acting； I find in all
that the last consequence is death； and to my eyes； the pretty maid who
thwarts her mother with such taking graces on a question of a ball； drips
no less visibly with human gore than such a murderer as yourself。 Do I say
that I follow sins？ I follow virtues also。 They differ not by the thickness of
a nail； they are both scythes for the reaping angel of Death。 Evil； for which
I live； consists not in action but in character。 The bad man is dear to me；
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not the bad act； whose fruits； if we could follow them far enough down the
hurtling cataract of the ages； might yet be found more blessed than those
of the rarest virtues。 And it is not because you have killed a dealer； but
because you are Markheim； that I offer to forward your escape。〃
〃I will lay my heart open to you；〃 answered Markheim。 〃This crime on
which you find me is my last。 On my way to it I have learned many
lessons； itself is a lessona momentous lesson。 Hitherto I have been
driven with revolt to what I would not； I was a bond…slave to poverty；
driven and scourged。 There are robust virtues that can stand in these
temptations； mine was not so； I had a thirst of pleasure。 But to…day； and
out of this deed； I pluck both warning and richesboth the power and a
fresh resolve to be myself。 I become in all things a free actor in the world；
I begin to see myself all changed； these hands the agents of good； this
heart at peace。 Something comes over me out of the pastsomething of
what I have dreamed on Sabbath evenings to the sound of the church
organ； of what I forecast when I shed tears over noble books； or talked； an
innocent child； with my mother。 There lies my life； I have wandered a few
years； but now I see once more my city of destination。〃
〃You are to use this money on the Stock Exchange； I think？〃 remarked
the visitor； 〃and there； if I mistake not； you have already lost some
thousands？〃
〃Ah；〃 said Markheim； 〃but this time I have a sure thing。〃
〃This time； again； you will lose；〃 replied the visitor quietly。
〃Ah； but I keep back the half！〃 cried Markheim。
〃That also you will lose；〃 said the other。
The sweat started upon Markheim's brow。 〃Well then； what matter？〃
he exclaimed。 〃Say it be lost； say I am plunged again in poverty； shall one
part of me； and that the worse； continue until the end to override the better？
Evil and good run strong in me； hailing me both ways。 I do not love the
one thing； I love all。 I can conceive great deeds； renunciations；
martyrdoms； and though I be fallen to such a crime as murder； pity is no
stranger to my thoughts。 I pity the poor； who knows their trials better than
myself？ I pity and help them。 I prize love； I love honest laughter； there is
no good thing nor true thing on earth but I love it from my heart。 And are
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my vices only to direct my life； and my virtues to lie without effect； like
some passive lumber of the mind？ Not so； good； also； is a spring of acts。〃
But the visitant raised his finger。 〃For six and thirty years that you
have been in this world；〃 said he； 〃through many changes of fortune and
varieties of humour； I have watched you steadily fall。 Fifteen years ago
you would have started at a theft。 Three years back you would have
blenched at the name of murder。 Is there any crime； is there any cruelty or
meanness； from which you still recoil？ Five years from now I shall detect
you in the fact！ Downward； downward； lies your way； nor can anything
but death avail to stop you。〃
〃It is true；〃 Markheim said huskily； 〃I have in some degree complied
with evil。 But it is so with all； the very saints； in the mere exercise of
living； grow less dainty； and take on the tone of their surroundings。〃
〃I will propound to you one simple question；〃 said the other； 〃and as
you answer I shall read to you your moral horoscope。 You have grown in
many things more lax； possibly you do right to be so； and at any account；
it is the same with all men。 But granting that； are you in any one particular；
however trifling； more difficult to please with your own conduct； or do
you go in all things with a looser rein？〃
〃In any one？〃 repeated Markheim； with an anguish of consideration。
〃No；〃 he added； with despair； 〃in none！ I have gone down in all。〃
〃Then；〃 said the visitor； 〃content yourself with what you are； for you
will never change； and the words of your part on this stage are irrevocably
written down。〃
Markheim stood for a long while silent； and； indeed； it was the visitor
who first broke the silence。 〃That being so；〃 he said； 〃shall I show you the
money？〃
〃And grace？〃 cried Markheim。
〃Have you not tried it？〃 returned the other。 〃Two or three years ago did
I not see you on the platform of revival meetings； and was not your voice
the loudest in the hymn？〃
〃It is true；〃 said Markheim； 〃and I see clearly what remains for me by
way of duty。 I thank you for these lessons from my soul； my eyes are
opened； and I behold myself at last for what I am。〃
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At this moment； the sharp note of the door…bell rang through the house；
and the visitant； as though this were some concerted signal for which he
had been waiting； changed at once in his demeanour。
〃The maid！〃 he cried。 〃She has returned； as I forewarned you； and
there is now before you one more difficult passage。 Her master； you must
say； is ill； you must let her in； with an assured but rather serious
countenance； no smiles； no overacting； and I promise you success！ Once
the girl within； and the door closed； the same dexterity that has already rid
you of the dealer will relieve you of this last danger in your path。
Thenceforward you have the whole eveningthe whole night； if needful
to ransack the treasures of the house and to make good your safety。 This is
help that comes to you with the mask of danger。 Up！〃 he cried； 〃up； friend。
Your life hangs trembling in the scales； up； and act！〃
Markheim steadily regarded his counsellor。 〃If I be condemned to evil
acts；〃 he said； 〃there is still one door of freedom open： I can cease from
action。 If my life be an ill thing； I can lay it down。 Though I be； as you say
truly； at the beck of every small temptation； I can yet； by one decisive
gesture； place myself beyond the reach of all。 My love of good is damned
to barrenness； it may； and let it be！ But I have still my hatred of evil； and
from that； to your galling disappointment； you shall see that I can draw
both energy and courage。〃
The features of the visitor began to undergo a wonderful and lovely
change： they brightened and softened with a tender triumph； and； even as
they brightened； faded and dislimned。 But Markheim did not pause to
watch or understand the transformation。 He opened the door and went
downstairs very slowly； thinking to himself。 His past went soberly before
him； he beheld it as it was； ugly and strenuous like a dream； random as
chance medleya scene of defeat。 Life； as he thus reviewed it； tempted
him no longer； but on the further side he perceived a quiet haven for his
bark。 He paused in the passage； and looked into the shop； where the candle
still burned by the dead body。 It was strangely silent。 Thoughts of the
dealer swarmed into his mind； as he stood gazing。 And then the bell once
more broke out into impatient clamour。
He confronted the maid upon the threshold with something like a
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smile。
〃You had better go for the police；〃 said he； 〃I have killed your master。〃
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