rz.thegunsofavalon-第24节
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ll wanted。 If he had changed his mind； well … I even envied him the prospect of outlawry in Avalon。 I would have liked to remain longer； to ride with Dara in the hills； tramp about the countryside； sail upon the rivers。。。
I thought about the girl。 The knowledge of her existence changed things somewhat。 I was not certain how。 Despite our major hatreds and petty animosities； we Amberites are a very family…conscious bunch； always eager for news of one another； desirous to know everyone's position in the changing picture。 A pause for gossip has doubtless stayed a few death blows among us。 I sometimes think of us as a gang of mean little old ladies in a bination rest home and obstacle course。
I could not fit Dara into things yet because she did not know where she fit herself。 Oh； she would learn eventually。 She would receive superb tutelage once her existence became known。 Now that I had brought her awareness of her uniqueness it would only be a matter of time before this occurred and she joined in the games。 I had felt somewhat serpent…like at points during our conversation in the grove … but hell； she had a right to know。 She was bound to find out sooner or later； and the sooner she did the sooner she could start shoring up her defenses。 It was for her own benefit。
Of course； it was possible … even likely … that her mother and grandmother had lived their lives in ignorance of their heritage。。。
And where had it gotten them？ They died violently； she had said。
Was it possible； I wondered； that the long arm of Amber had reached for them out of Shadow？ And that it might strike again？
Benedict could be as tough and mean and nasty as any of us when he wanted to be。 Tougher； even。 He would fight to protect his own； doubtless even kill one of us if he thought it necessary。 He must have assumed that keeping her existence a secret and keeping her ignorant would protect her。 He would be angry with me when he found out what I had done； which was another reason for clearing out in a hurry。 But I had not told her what I had out of sheer perverseness。 I wanted her to survive； and I did not feel he was handling things properly。 When I returned； she would have had time to think things over。 She would have many questions and I would seize the opportunity to caution her at length and to give specifics。
I gnashed my teeth。
None of this should be necessary。 When I ruled in Amber； things would be different。 They had to be。。。
Why had no one ever e up with a way to change the basic nature of man？ Even the erasure of all my memories and a new life in a new world had resulted in the same old Corwin。 If I were not happy with what I was it could be a proposition worthy of despair。
In a quiet part of the river； I washed away the dust； the sweat； wondering the while about the black road which had so injured my brothers。 There were many things that I needed to know。
As I bathed； Grayswandir was never far from my hand。 One of us is capable of tracking another through Shadow； when the trail is still warm。 As it was； my bath was undisturbed； though I used Grayswandir three times on the way back； on less mundane things than brothers。
But this was to be expected； as I had accelerated the pace considerably。。。
***
It was still dark； though dawn was not too far away； when I entered the stables at my brother's manor。 I tended Star； who had grown somewhat wild； talking to him and soothing him as I rubbed him down； then putting out a good supply of food and water。 Ganelon's Firedrake greeted me from the opposite stall。 I cleaned up at the pump to the rear of the stable； trying to decide where I was going to catch a little sleep。
I needed some rest。 A few hours' worth would hold me for a time； but I refused to take them beneath Benedict's roof。 I would not be taken that easily； and while I had often said that I wanted to die in bed； what I really meant was that in my old age I wanted to be stepped on by an elephant while making love。
I was not averse to drinking his booze； though； and I wanted a belt of something strong。 The manor was dark； I entered quietly and I found the sideboard。
I poured a stiff one； tossed it off； poured another； and carried it to the window。 I could see for a great distance。 The manor stood on a hillside and Benedict had landscaped the place well。
〃'White in the moon the long road lies；'〃 I recited； surprised at the sound of my own voice。 〃'The moon stands blank above。。。'〃
〃So it does。 So it does； Corwin my lad；〃 I heard Ganelon say。
〃I didn't see you sitting there；〃 I said softly； not turning from the window。
〃That's because I'm sitting so still；〃 he said。
〃Oh；〃 I said。 〃How drunk are you？〃
〃Hardly at all；〃 he said； 〃now。 But if you would care to be a good fellow and fetch me a drink。。。〃
I turned。
〃Why can't you get your own？〃
〃It hurts to move。〃
〃All right。〃
I went and poured him one； carried it to him。 He raised it slowly； nodded his thanks； took a sip。
〃Ah； that's good！〃 he sighed。 〃May it numb things a bit。〃
〃You were in a fight；〃 I decided。
〃Aye；〃 he said。 〃Several。〃
〃Then bear your wounds like a good trooper and let me save my sympathy。〃
〃But I won！〃
〃God！ Where did you leave the bodies？〃
〃Oh； they are not that bad off。 'Twas a girl did this to me。〃
〃Then I'd say you got your money's worth。〃
〃'Twas not that sort of thing at all。 I believe I've embarrassed us。〃
〃Us？ How？〃
〃I did not know she was the lady of the house。 I came in feeling jolly； and I thought her some serving wench。。。〃
〃Dara？〃 I said； tensing。
〃Aye； the same。 I slapped her on the rump and went for a kiss or two …〃 He groaned。 〃Then she picked me up。 She raised me off the ground and held me up over her head。 Then she told me she was the lady of the house。 Then she let me fall。。。 I'm eighteen stone if I'm a pebble； man； and it was a long way down。〃 He took another drink； and I chuckled。
〃She laughed； too；〃 he said ruefully。 〃She helped me up then and was not unkind； and of course I apologized。 That brother of yours must be quite a man。 I never met a girl that strong。 The things she could do to a man。。。〃 There was awe in his voice。 He shook his head slowly and tossed back the rest of his drink。 〃It was frightening … not to mention embarrassing；〃 he concluded。
〃She accepted your apology？〃
〃Oh； yes。 She was quite gracious about the whole thing。 She told me to forget all about it； and said that she would； too。〃
〃Then why are you not in bed sleeping it off？〃
〃I was waiting up； in case you came in at an odd hour。 I wanted to catch you right away。〃
〃Well； you have。〃
He rose slowly and picked up his glass。
〃Let's go outside；〃 he said。
〃Good idea。〃
He picked up the brandy decanter on the way out； which I also thought was a good idea； and we followed a path through the garden behind the house。 Finally； he heaved himself onto an old stone bench at the foot of a large oak tree； where he refilled both our glasses and took a drink from his own。
〃Ah！ He has good taste in liquor； too； your brother；〃 be said。
I seated myself beside him and filled my pipe。
〃After I told her I was sorry and introduced myself； we got to talking for a time；〃 he said。 〃As soon as she learned I was with you； she wanted to know all sorts of things about Amber and shadows and you and the rest of your family。〃
〃Did you tell her anything？〃 I said； striking a light。
〃Couldn't have if I wanted to；〃 he said。 〃I had none of the answers。〃
〃Good。〃
〃It got me to thinking； though。 I do not believe Benedict tells her too much； and I can see why。 I would be careful what I say around her； Corwin。 She seems over…curious。〃
I nodded； puffing。
〃There is a reason for it；〃 I said。 〃A very good reason。 I am glad to know； though； that you keep your wits about you even when you have been drinking。 Thanks for telling me。〃
He shrugged and took a drink。
〃A good bashing is a sobering thing。 Also； your welfare is my welfare。〃
〃True。 Does this version of Avalon meet with your approval？〃
〃Version？ It is my Avalon；〃 he said。 〃A new generation of people is in the land； but it is the same place。 I visited the Field of Thorns today； where I put down Jack Hailey's bunch in your service。 It was the same place。〃
〃The Field of Thorns。。。〃 I said； remembering。
〃Yes； this is my Avalon；〃 he continued； 〃and I'll be ing back here for my old age； if we live trough Amber。〃
〃You still want to e along？〃
〃All my life I've wanted to see Amber … well； since I first heard of it。 That was from you； in happier times。〃
〃I do not really remember what I said。 It must have been a good telling。〃
〃We were both wonderfully drunk that night； and it seemed but a brief while that you talked … weeping some of the time … telling me of the mighty mountain Kolvir and the green and golden spires of the city； of the promenades； the decks； the terraces； the flowers； the fountains。。。 It seemed but a brief while； but it was most of the night for before we staggered off to bed the morning had begun。 God！ I could almost draw you a map of the place！ I must see it before I die。〃
〃I do not remember that night；〃 I said slowly。 〃I must have been very； very drunk。〃
He chuckled。
〃We had som
