pgw.psmith,journalist-第8节
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〃You don't know！〃 exclaimed Mr。 Waterman。
〃I don't know。 You don't know。 They；〃 said Psmith； indicating the rest with a wave of the hand； 〃don't know。 Nobody knows。 His locality is as hard to ascertain as that of a black cat in a coal…cellar on a moonless night。 Shortly before I joined this journal； Mr。 Wilberfloss； by his doctor's orders； started out on a holiday； leaving no address。 No letters were to be forwarded。 He was to enjoy plete rest。 Where is he now？ Who shall say？ Possibly legging it down some rugged slope in the Rockies； with two bears and a wild cat in earnest pursuit。 Possibly in the midst of some Florida everglade； making a noise like a piece of meat in order to snare crocodiles。 Possibly in Canada； baiting moose…traps。 We have no data。〃
Silent consternation prevailed among the audience。 Finally the Rev。 Edwin T。 Philpotts was struck with an idea。
〃Where is Mr。 White？〃 he asked。
The point was well received。
〃Yes； where's Mr。 Benjamin White？〃 chorused the rest。
Psmith shook his head。
〃In Europe。 I cannot say more。〃
The audience's consternation deepened。
〃Then； do you mean to say；〃 demanded Mr。 Asher； 〃that this fellow Windsor's the boss here； that what he says goes？〃
Psmith bowed。
〃With your customary clear…headedness； rade Asher； you have got home on the bull's…eye first pop。 rade Windsor is indeed the boss。 A man of intensely masterful character； he will brook no opposition。 I am powerless to sway him。 Suggestions from myself as to the conduct of the paper would infuriate him。 He believes that radical changes are necessary in the programme of Cosy Moments； and he means to put them through if it snows。 Doubtless he would gladly consider your work if it fitted in with his ideas。 A snappy account of a glove…fight； a spine…shaking word…picture of a railway smash； or something on those lines； would be weled。 But〃
〃I have never heard of such a thing；〃 said Mr。 Waterman indignantly。
Psmith sighed。
〃Some time ago；〃 he said； 〃how long it seems！I remember saying to a young friend of mine of the name of Spiller； 'rade Spiller； never confuse the unusual with the impossible。' It is my guiding rule in life。 It is unusual for the substitute…editor of a weekly paper to do a Captain Kidd act and take entire mand of the journal on his own account； but is it impossible？ Alas no。 rade Windsor has done it。 That is where you； rade Asher； and you； gentlemen； have landed yourselves squarely in the broth。 You have confused the unusual with the impossible。〃
〃But what is to be done？〃 cried Mr。 Asher。
〃I fear that there is nothing to be done； except wait。 The present regime is but an experiment。 It may be that when rade Wilberfloss； having dodged the bears and eluded the wild cat； returns to his post at the helm of this journal； he may decide not to continue on the lines at present mapped out。 He should be back in about ten weeks。〃
〃Ten weeks！〃
〃I fancy that was to be the duration of his holiday。 Till then my advice to you gentlemen is to wait。 You may rely on me to keep a watchful eye upon your interests。 When your thoughts tend to take a gloomy turn； say to yourselves； 'All is well。 Psmith is keeping a watchful eye upon our interests。'〃
〃All the same； I should like to see this W。 Windsor；〃 said Mr。 Asher。
Psmith shook his head。
〃I shouldn't；〃 he said。 〃I speak in your best interests。 rade Windsor is a man of the fiercest passions。 He cannot brook interference。 Were you to question the wisdom of his plans； there is no knowing what might not happen。 He would be the first to regret any violent action； when once he had cooled off； but would that be any consolation to his victim？ I think not。 Of course； if you wish it； I could arrange a meeting〃
Mr。 Asher said no； he thought it didn't matter。
〃I guess I can wait；〃 he said。
〃That；〃 said Psmith approvingly； 〃is the right spirit。 Wait。 That is the watch…word。 And now；〃 he added； rising； 〃I wonder if a bit of lunch somewhere might not be a good thing？ We have had an interesting but fatiguing little chat。 Our tissues require restoring。 If you gentlemen would care to join me〃
Ten minutes later the pany was seated in plete harmony round a table at the Knickerbocker。 Psmith； with the dignified bonhomie of a seigneur of the old school； was ordering the wine； while B。 Henderson Asher； brimming over with good…humour； was relating to an attentive circle an anecdote which should have appeared in his next instalment of 〃Moments of Mirth。〃
CHAPTER IX
FULL STEAM AHEAD
WHEN Psmith returned to the office； he found Billy Windsor in the doorway； just parting from a thick…set young man； who seemed to be expressing his gratitude to the editor for some good turn。 He was shaking him warmly by the hand。
Psmith stood aside to let him pass。
〃An old college chum； rade Windsor？〃 he asked。
〃That was Kid Brady。〃
〃The name is unfamiliar to me。 Another contributor？〃
〃He's from my part of the countryWyoming。 He wants to fight any one in the world at a hundred and thirty…three pounds。〃
〃We all have our hobbies。 rade Brady appears to have selected a somewhat exciting one。 He would find stamp…collecting less exacting。〃
〃It hasn't given him much excitement so far； poor chap；〃 said Billy Windsor。 〃He's in the championship class； and here he has been pottering about New York for a month without being able to get a fight。 It's always the way in this rotten East；〃 continued Billy； warming up as was his custom when discussing a case of oppression and injustice。 〃It's all graft here。 You've got to let half a dozen brutes dip into every dollar you earn； or you don't get a chance。 If the kid had a manager； he'd get all the fights he wanted。 And the manager would get nearly all the money。 I've told him that we will back him up。〃
〃You have hit it； rade Windsor；〃 said Psmith with enthusiasm。 〃Cosy Moments shall be rade Brady's manager。 We will give him a much…needed boost up in our columns。 A sporting section is what the paper requires more than anything。〃
〃If things go on as they've started； what it will require still more will be a fighting…editor。 Pugsy tells me you had visitors while I was out。〃
〃A few；〃 said Psmith。 〃One or two very entertaining fellows。 rades Asher； Philpotts； and others。 I have just been giving them a bite of lunch at the Knickerbocker。〃
〃Lunch！〃
〃A most pleasant little lunch。 We are now as brothers。 I fear I have made you perhaps a shade unpopular with our late contributors； but these things must be。 We must clench our teeth and face them manfully。 If I were you； I think I should not drop in at the house of rade Asher and the rest to take pot…luck for some little time to e。 In order to soothe the squad I was pelled to curse you to some extent。〃
〃Don't mind me。〃
〃I think I may say I didn't。〃
〃Say； look here； you must charge up the price of that lunch to the office。 Necessary expenses； you know。〃
〃I could not dream of doing such a thing； rade Windsor。 The whole affair was a great treat to me。 I have few pleasures。 rade Asher alone was worth the money。 I found his society intensely interesting。 I have always believed in the Darwinian theory。 rade Asher confirmed my views。〃
They went into the inner office。 Psmith removed his hat and coat。
〃And now once more to work；〃 he said。 〃Psmith the flaneur of Fifth Avenue ceases to exist。 In his place we find Psmith the hard…headed sub…editor。 Be so good as to indicate a job of work for me； rade Windsor。 I am champing at my bit。〃
Billy Windsor sat down； and lit his pipe。
〃What we want most；〃 he said thoughtfully； 〃is some big topic。 That's the only way to get a paper going。 Look at Everybody's Magazine。 They didn't amount to a row of beans till Lawson started his 'Frenzied Finance' articles。 Directly they began； the whole country was squealing for copies。 Everybody's put up their price from ten to fifteen cents； and now they lead the field。〃
〃The country must squeal for Cosy Moments；〃 said Psmith firmly。 〃I fancy I have a scheme which may not prove wholly scaly。 Wandering yesterday with rade Jackson in a search for Fourth Avenue； I happened upon a spot called Pleasant Street。 Do you know it？〃
Billy Windsor nodded。
〃I went down there once or twice when I was a reporter。 It's a beastly place。〃
〃It is a singularly beastly place。 We went into one of the houses。〃
〃They're pretty bad。〃
〃Who owns them？〃
〃I don't know。 Probably some millionaire。 Those tenement houses are about as paying an investment as you can have。〃
〃Hasn't anybody ever tried to do anything about them？〃
〃Not so far as I know。 It's pretty difficult to get at these fellows； you see。 But they're fierce； aren't they； those houses！〃
〃What；〃 asked Psmith； 〃is the precise difficulty of getting at these merchants？〃 〃Well； it's this way。 There are all sorts of laws about the places； but any one who wants can get round them as easy as falling off a log。 The law says a tenement house is a building occupied by more than two families。 Well； when there's a fuss； all the man has to do is to clear out all the families but two。 Then； when the inspector fellow es along； and says； let's say； 'Where's your running water on each floor？ That's what the law says you've g
