pgw.psmith,journalist-第28节

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hand　towards　him。　Psmith　looked　on　benevolently。
　〃What　rade　Jackson　does　not　know　about　cats；〃　he　said；　〃is　not　knowledge。　His　information　on　Angoras　alone　would　fill　a　volume。〃
　〃Say；〃Mr。　Jarvis　was　evidently　touching　on　a　point　which　had　weighed　deeply　upon　him〃why's　catnip　called　catnip？〃
　Mike　looked　at　Psmith　helplessly。　It　sounded　like　a　riddle；　but　it　was　obvious　that　Mr。　Jarvis's　motive　in　putting　the　question　was　not　frivolous。　He　really　wished　to　know。
　〃The　word；　as　rade　Jackson　was　just　about　to　observe；〃　said　Psmith；　〃is　a　corruption　of　cat…mint。　Why　it　should　be　so　corrupted　I　do　not　know。　But　what　of　that？　The　subject　is　too　deep　to　be　gone　fully　into　at　the　moment。　I　should　remend　you　to　read　rade　Jackson's　little　brochure　on　the　matter。　Passing　lightly　on　from　that〃
　〃Did　youse　ever　have　a　cat　dat　ate　beetles？〃　inquired　Mr。　Jarvis。
　〃There　was　a　time　when　many　of　rade　Jackson's　felidae　supported　life　almost　entirely　on　beetles。〃
　〃Did　they　git　thin？〃
　Mike　felt　that　it　was　time；　if　he　was　to　preserve　his　reputation；　to　assert　himself。
　〃No；〃　he　replied　firmly。
　Mr。　Jarvis　looked　astonished。
　〃English　beetles；〃　said　Psmith；　〃don't　make　cats　thin。　Passing　lightly〃
　〃I　had　a　cat　oncest；〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis；　ignoring　the　remark　and　sticking　to　his　point；　〃dat　ate　beetles　and　got　thin　and　used　to　tie　itself　into　knots。〃
　〃A　versatile　animal；〃　agreed　Psmith。
　〃Say；〃　Mr。　Jarvis　went　on；　now　plainly　on　a　subject　near　to　his　heart；　〃dem　beetles　is　fierce。　Sure。　Can't　keep　de　cats　off　of　eatin'　dem；　I　can't。　First　t'ing　you　know　dey've　swallowed　dem；　and　den　dey　gits　thin　and　ties　theirselves　into　knots。〃
　〃You　should　put　them　into　strait…waistcoats；〃　said　Psmith。　〃Passing；　however；　lightly〃
　〃Say；　ever　have　a　cross…eyed　cat？〃
　〃rade　Jackson's　cats；〃　said　Psmith；　〃have　happily　been　almost　free　from　strabismus。〃
　〃Dey's　lucky；　cross…eyed　cats　is。　You　has　a　cross…eyed　cat；　and　not'in'　don't　never　go　wrong。　But；　say；　was　dere　ever　a　cat　wit　one　blue　eye　and　one　yaller　one　in　your　bunch？　Gum；　it's　fierce　when　it's　like　dat。　It's　a　real　skiddoo；　is　a　cat　wit　one　blue　eye　and　one　yaller　one。　Puts　you　in　bad；　surest　t'ing　you　know。　Oncest　a　guy　give　me　a　cat　like　dat；　and　first　t'ing　you　know　I'm　in　bad　all　round。　It　wasn't　till　I　give　him　away　to　de　cop　on　de　corner　and　gets　me　one　dat's　cross…eyed　dat　I　lifts　de　skiddoo　off　of　me。〃
　〃And　what　happened　to　the　cop？〃　inquired　Psmith；　interested。
　〃Oh；　he　got　in　bad；　sure　enough；〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis　without　emotion。　〃One　of　de　boys　what　he'd　pinched　and　had　sent　to　de　Island　once　lays　for　him　and　puts　one　over　him　wit　a　black…jack。　Sure。　Dat's　what　es　of　havin'　a　cat　wit　one　blue　eye　and　one　yaller　one。〃
　Mr。　Jarvis　relapsed　into　silence。　He　seemed　to　be　meditating　on　the　inscrutable　workings　of　Fate。　Psmith　took　advantage　of　the　pause　to　leave　the　cat　topic　and　touch　on　matter　of　more　vital　import。
　〃Tense　and　exhilarating　as　is　this　discussion　of　the　optical　peculiarities　of　cats；〃　he　said；　〃there　is　another　matter　on　which；　if　you　will　permit　me；　I　should　like　to　touch。　I　would　hesitate　to　bore　you　with　my　own　private　troubles；　but　this　is　a　matter　which　concerns　rade　Windsor　as　well　as　myself；　and　I　know　that　your　regard　for　rade　Windsor　is　almost　an　obsession。〃
　〃How's　that？〃
　〃I　should　say；〃　said　Psmith；　〃that　rade　Windsor　is　a　man　to　whom　you　give　the　glad　hand。〃
　〃Sure。　He's　to　the　good；　Mr。　Windsor　is。　He　caught　me　cat。〃
　〃He　did。　By　the　way；　was　that　the　one　that　used　to　tie　itself　into　knots？〃
　〃Nope。　Dat　was　anudder。〃
　〃Ah！　However；　to　resume。　The　fact　is；　rade　Jarvis；　we　are　much　persecuted　by　scoundrels。　How　sad　it　is　in　this　world！　We　look　to　every　side。　We　look　north；　east；　south；　and　west；　and　what　do　we　　see？　Mainly　scoundrels。　I　fancy　you　have　heard　a　little　about　our　troubles　before　this。　In　fact；　I　gather　that　the　same　scoundrels　actually　approached　you　with　a　view　to　engaging　your　services　to　do　us　in；　but　that　you　very　handsomely　refused　the　contract。〃
　〃Sure；〃　said　Mr。　Jarvis；　dimly　prehending。
　〃A　guy　es　to　me　and　says　he　wants　you　and　Mr。　Windsor　put　through　it；　but　I　gives　him　de　t'run　down。　'Nuttin'　done；'　I　says。　'Mr。　Windsor　caught　me　cat。'〃
　〃So　I　was　informed；〃　said　Psmith。　〃Well；　failing　you；　they　went　to　a　gentleman　of　the　name　of　Reilly。〃
　〃Spider　Reilly？〃
　〃You　have　hit　it；　rade　Jarvis。　Spider　Reilly；　the　lessee　and　manager　of　the　Three　Points　gang。〃
　〃Dose　T'ree　Points；　dey're　to　de　bad。　Dey're　fresh。〃
　〃It　is　too　true；　rade　Jarvis。〃
　〃Say；〃　went　on　Mr。　Jarvis；　waxing　wrathful　at　the　recollection；　〃what　do　youse　t'ink　dem　fresh　stiffs　done　de　udder　night。　Started　some　rough　woik　in　me　own　dance…joint。〃
　〃Shamrock　Hall？〃　said　Psmith。
　〃Dat's　right。　Shamrock　Hall。　Got　gay；　dey　did；　wit　some　of　de　Table　Hillers。　Say；　I　got　it　in　for　dem　gazebos；　sure　I　have。　Surest　t'ing　you　know。〃
　Psmith　beamed　approval。
　〃That；〃　he　said；　〃is　the　right　spirit。　Nothing　could　be　more　admirable。　We　are　bound　together　by　our　mon　desire　to　check　the　ever…growing　spirit　of　freshness　among　the　members　of　the　Three　Points。　Add　to　that　the　fact　that　we　are　united　by　a　sympathetic　knowledge　of　the　manners　and　customs　of　cats；　and　especially　that　rade　Jackson；　England's　greatest　fancier；　is　our　mutual　friend；　and　what　more　do　we　want？　Nothing。〃
　〃Mr。　Jackson's　to　de　good；〃　assented　Mr。　Jarvis；　eyeing　Mike　in　friendly　fashion。
　〃We　are　all　to　de　good；〃　said　Psmith。　〃Now　the　thing　I　wished　to　ask　you　is　this。　The　office　of　the　paper　on　which　I　work　was　until　this　morning　securely　guarded　by　rade　Brady；　whose　name　will　be　familiar　to　you。〃
　〃De　Kid？〃
　〃On　the　bull's…eye；　as　usual；　rade　Jarvis。　Kid　Brady；　the　ing　light…weight　champion　of　the　world。　Well；　he　has　unfortunately　been　pelled　to　leave　us；　and　the　way　into　the　office　is　consequently　clear　to　any　sand…bag　specialist　who　cares　to　wander　in。　Matters　connected　with　the　paper　have　bee　so　poignant　during　the　last　few　days　that　an　inrush　of　these　same　specialists　is　almost　a　certainty；　unlessand　this　is　where　you　e　in。〃
　〃Me？〃
　〃Will　you　take　rade　Brady's　place　for　a　few　days？〃
　〃How's　that？〃
　〃Will　you　e　in　and　sit　in　the　office　for　the　next　day　or　so　and　help　hold　the　fort？　I　may　mention　that　there　is　money　attached　to　the　job。　We　will　pay　for　your　services。　How　do　we　go；　rade　Jarvis？〃
　Mr。　Jarvis　reflected　but　a　brief　moment。
　〃Why；　sure；〃　he　said。　〃Me　fer　dat。　When　do　I　start？〃
　〃Excellent；　rade　Jarvis。　Nothing　could　be　better。　I　am　obliged。　I　rather　fancy　that　the　gay　band　of　Three　Pointers　who　will　undoubtedly　visit　the　offices　of　Cosy　Moments　in　the　next　few　days；　probably　to…morrow；　are　due　to　run　up　against　the　surprise　of　their　lives。　Could　you　be　there　at　ten　to…morrow　morning？〃
　Sure　t'ing。　I'll　bring　me　canister。〃
　〃I　should；〃　said　Psmith。　〃In　certain　circumstances　one　canister　is　worth　a　flood　of　rhetoric。　Till　to…morrow；　then；　rade　Jarvis。　I　am　very　much　obliged　to　you。〃
　〃Not　at　all　a　bad　hour's　work；〃　said　Psmith　placently；　as　they　turned　out　of　Groome　Street。　〃A　vote　of　thanks　to　you；　rade　Jackson；　for　your　invaluable　assistance。〃
　〃It　strikes　me　I　didn't　do　much；〃　said　Mike　with　a　grin。
　〃Apparently；　no。　In　reality；　yes。　Your　manner　was　exactly　right。　Reserved；　yet　not　haughty。　Just　what　an　eminent　cat…fancier's　manner　should　be。　I　could　see　that　you　made　a　pronounced　hit　with　rade　Jarvis。　By　the　way；　if　you　are　going　to　show　up　at　the　office　to…morrow；　perhaps　it　would　be　as　well　if　you　were　to　look　up　a　few　facts　bearing　on　the　feline　world。　There　is　no　knowing　what　thirst　for　information　a　night's　rest　may　not　give　rade　Jarvis。　I　do　not　presume　to　dictate；　but　if　you　were　to　make　yourself　a　thorough　master　of　the　subject　of　catnip；　for　instance；　it　might　quite　possibly　e　in　useful。〃
　
　CHAPTER　XXV
　TRAPPED
　
　MR。　JARVIS　was　as　good　as　his　word。　On　the　following　morning；　at　ten　o'clock　to　the　minute；　he　made　his　appearance　at　the　office　of　Cosy　Moments；　his　fore…lock　more　than　usually　well　oiled　in　honour　of　the　occasion；　and　his　right　coat…pocket　bulging　in　a　manner　that　betrayed　to　the　initiated　eye　the　presence　of　the　faithful　〃canister。〃　With　him；　in　addition　to　his　revolver；　he　brought　a　long；　thin　young　man　who　wore　under　his　brown　tweed　coat　a　blue…and…red　striped　jersey。　Whether　he　brought　him　as　an　ally　in　case　of　need　or　merely　as　a　kindred　soul　with　whom　he　might　mune　during　his　vigil；　was　not　ascertained。
　Pugsy；　startled　out　of　his　wonted　calm　by　the　arrival　of　this　distinguished　pany；　observed　the　pair；　as　they　passed　through　into　the　inner　office；　with　protruding　eyes；　and　sat　speechless　for　a　full　five　minutes。　Psmith　received　the　new…corners　in　the　editorial　sanctum　with　courteous　warmth。　Mr。　Jarvis　introduced　his　colleague。
　〃Thought　I'd　bring　him　along。　Long　Otto's　his　monaker。〃
　〃You　did　very　rightly；　rade　Jarvis；〃　Psmith　assured　him。　〃Your　unerring　instinct　did　not　play　you　false　when　it　told　you　that　rade　Otto　would　be　as　wele　as　the　flowers　in　May。　With　rade　Otto　I　fancy　we　shall　make　a　bination　which　will　require　a　certain　amount　of　tackling。〃
　Mr。　Jarvis　confirmed　this　view。　Long　Otto；　he　affirmed；　was　no　rube；　but　a　scrapper　from　Biffville　on…the…Slosh。　The　hardies