pgw.psmith,journalist-第22节

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d　started　knocking　these　tenements　and　boosting　Kid　Brady；　and　all　that。　I　can't　understand　it。　All　I　know　is　that　it's　begun　to　get　this　place　talked　about。　Why；　you　see　for　yourselves　how　it　is。　Here　is　your　editor　sending　you　down　to　get　a　story　about　it。　But；　say；　those　Cosy　Moments　guys　are　taking　big　risks。　I　tell　you　straight　they　are；　and　that　goes。　I　happen　to　know　a　thing　or　two　about　what's　going　on　on　the　other　side；　and　I　tell　you　there's　going　to　be　something　doing　if　they　don't　cut　it　out　quick。　Mr。〃　he　stopped　and　chuckled；　〃Mr。　Jones　isn't　the　man　to　sit　still　and　smile。　He's　going　to　get　busy。　Say；　what　paper　do　you　boys　e　from？〃
　〃Cosy　Moments；　rade　Gooch；〃　Psmith　replied。　〃Immediately　behind　you；　between　you　and　the　door；　is　rade　Windsor；　our　editor。　I　am　Psmith。　I　sub…edit。〃
　For　a　moment　the　inwardness　of　the　information　did　not　seem　to　e　home　to　Mr。　Gooch。　Then　it　hit　him。　He　spun　round。　Billy　Windsor　was　standing　with　his　back　against　the　door　and　a　more　than　nasty　look　on　his　face。
　〃What's　all　this？〃　demanded　Mr。　Gooch。
　〃I　will　explain　all；〃　said　Psmith　soothingly。　In　the　first　place；　however；　this　matter　of　rade　Spaghetti's　rent。　Sooner　than　see　that　friend　of　my　boyhood　slung　out　to　do　the　wandering…child…　in…the…snow　act；　I　will　brass　up　for　him。〃
　〃Confound　his　rent。　Let　me　out。〃
　〃Business　before　pleasure。　How　much　is　it？　Twelve　dollars？　For　the　privilege　of　suffocating　in　this　pact　little　Black　Hole？　By　my　halidom；　rade　Gooch；　that　gentleman　whose　name　you　are　so　shortly　to　tell　us　has　a　very　fair　idea　of　how　to　charge！　But　who　am　I　that　I　should　criticise？　Here　are　the　simoleons；　as　our　young　friend；　rade　Maloney；　would　call　them。　Push　me　over　a　receipt。〃
　〃Let　me　out。〃
　〃Anon；　gossip；　anon。Shakespeare。　First；　the　receipt。〃
　Mr。　Gooch　scribbled　a　few　words　in　his　notebook　and　tore　out　the　page。　Psmith　thanked　him。
　〃I　will　see　that　it　reaches　rade　Spaghetti；〃　he　said。　〃And　now　to　a　more　important　matter。　Don't　put　away　that　notebook。　Turn　to　a　clean　page；　moisten　your　pencil；　and　write　as　follows。　Are　you　ready？　By　the　way；　what　is　your　Christian　name？　。　。　。　Gooch；　Gooch；　this　is　no　way　to　speak！　Well；　if　you　are　sensitive　on　the　point；　we　will　waive　the　Christian　name。　It　is　my　duty　to　tell　you；　however；　that　I　suspect　it　to　be　Percy。　Let　us　push　on。　Are　you　ready；　once　more？　Pencil　moistened？　Very　well；　then。　'I'ma　'being　of　sound　mind　and　body'ma'　and　a　bright　little　chap　altogether'maWhy；　you're　not　writing。〃
　〃Let　me　out；〃　bellowed　Mr。　Gooch。　〃I'll　summon　you　for　assault　and　battery。　Playing　a　fool　game　like　this！　Get　away　from　that　door。〃
　〃There　has　been　no　assault　and　battery　yet；　rade　Gooch；　but　who　shall　predict　how　long　so　happy　a　state　of　things　will　last？　Do　not　be　deceived　by　our　gay　and　smiling　faces；　rade　Gooch。　We　mean　business。　Let　me　put　the　whole　position　of　affairs　before　you；　and　I　am　sure　a　man　of　your　perception　will　see　that　there　is　only　one　thing　to　be　done。〃
　He　dusted　the　only　chair　in　the　room　with　infinite　care　and　sat　down。　Billy　Windsor；　who　had　not　spoken　a　word　or　moved　an　inch　since　the　beginning　of　the　interview；　continued　to　stand　and　be　silent。　Mr。　Gooch　shuffled　restlessly　in　the　middle　of　the　room。
　〃As　you　justly　observed　a　moment　ago；〃　said　Psmith；　〃the　staff　of　Cosy　Moments　is　taking　big　risks。　We　do　not　rely　on　your　unsupported　word　for　that。　We　have　had　practical　demonstration　of　the　fact　from　one　J。　Repetto；　who　tried　some　few　nights　ago　to　put　us　out　of　business。　Well；　it　struck　us　both　that　we　had　better　get　hold　of　the　name　of　the　blighter　who　runs　these　tenements　as　quickly　as　possible；　before　rade　Repetto's　next　night　out。　That　is　what　we　should　like　you　to　give　us；　rade　Gooch。　And　we　should　like　it　in　writing。　And；　on　second　thoughts；　in　ink。　I　have　one　of　those　patent　non…leakable　fountain　pens　in　my　pocket。　The　Old　Journalist's　Best　Friend。　Most　of　the　ink　has　e　out　and　is　permeating　the　lining　of　my　coat；　but　I　think　there　is　still　sufficient　for　our　needs。　Remind　me　later；　rade　Gooch；　to　continue　on　the　subject　of　fountain　pens。　I　have　much　to　say　on　the　theme。　Meanwhile；　however；　business；　business。　That　is　the　cry。〃
　He　produced　a　pen　and　an　old　letter；　the　last　page　of　which　was　blank；　and　began　to　write。
　〃How　does　this　strike　you？　〃he　said。　〃'I'（I　have　left　a　blank　for　the　Christian　name：　you　can　write　it　in　yourself　later）'　I；　blank　Gooch；　being　a　collector　of　rents　in　Pleasant　Street；　New　York；　do　hereby　swear'hush；　rade　Gooch；　there　is　no　need　to　do　it　yet'that　the　name　of　the　owner　of　the　Pleasant　Street　tenements；　who　is　responsible　for　the　perfectly　foul　conditions　there；　is'　And　that　is　where　you　e　in；　rade　Gooch。　That　is　where　we　need　your　specialised　knowledge。　Who　is　he？〃
　Billy　Windsor　reached　out　and　grabbed　the　rent　collector　by　the　collar。　Having　done　this；　he　proceeded　to　shake　him。
　Billy　was　muscular；　and　his　heart　was　so　much　in　the　business　that　Mr。　Gooch　behaved　as　if　he　had　been　caught　in　a　high　wind。　It　is　probable　that　in　another　moment　the　desired　information　might　have　been　shaken　out　of　him；　but　before　this　could　happen　there　was　a　banging　at　the　door；　followed　by　the　entrance　of　Master　Maloney。　For　the　first　time　since　Psmith　had　known　him；　Pugsy　was　openly　excited。
　〃Say；〃　he　began；　〃youse　had　better　beat　it　quick；　you　had。　Dey's　ing！〃
　〃And　now　go　back　to　the　beginning；　rade　Maloney；〃　said　Psmith　patiently；　〃which　in　the　exuberance　of　the　moment　you　have　skipped。　Who　are　ing？〃
　〃Why；　dem。　De　guys。〃
　Psmith　shook　his　head。
　〃Your　habit　of　omitting　essentials；　rade　Maloney；　is　going　to　undo　you　one　of　these　days。　When　you　get　to　that　ranch　of　yours；　you　will　probably　start　out　to　gallop　after　the　cattle　without　remembering　to　mount　your　mustang。　There　are　four　million　guys　in　New　York。　Which　section　is　it　that　is　ing？
　〃Gum！　I　don't　know　how　many　dere　is　ob　dem。　I　seen　Spider　Reilly　an'　Jack　Repetto　an'…〃
　〃Say　no　more；〃　said　Psmith。　〃If　rade　Repetto　is　there；　that　is　enough　for　me。　I　am　going　to　get　on　the　roof　and　pull　it　up　after　me。〃
　Billy　released　Mr。　Gooch；　who　fell；　puffing；　on　to　the　low　bed；　which　stood　in　one　corner　of　the　room。
　〃They　must　have　spotted　us　as　we　were　ing　here；〃　he　said；　〃and　followed　us。　Where　did　you　see　them；　Pugsy？〃
　〃On　de　Street　just　outside。　Dere　was　a　bunch　of　dem　talkin'　togedder；　and　I　hears　dem　say　you　was　in　here。　One　of　dem　seen　you　e　in；　an　dere　ain't　no　ways　out　but　de　front；　so　dey　ain't　hurryin'！　Dey　just　reckon　to　pike　along　upstairs；　lookin'　into　each　room　till　dey　finds　you。　An　dere's　a　bunch　of　dem　goin'　to　wait　on　de　Street　in　case　youse　beat　it　past　down　de　stairs　while　de　udder　guys　is　rubberin'　for　youse。　Say；　gents；　it's　pretty　fierce；　dis　proposition。　What　are　youse　goin'　to　do？〃
　Mr。　Gooch；　from　the　bed；　laughed　unpleasantly。
　〃I　guess　you　ain't　the　only　assault…and…battery　artists　in　the　business；〃　he　said。　〃Looks　to　me　as　if　some　one　else　was　going　to　get　shaken　up　some。〃
　Billy　looked　at　Psmith。
　〃Well？〃　he　said。　〃What　shall　we　do？　Go　down　and　try　and　rush　through？〃
　Psmith　shook　his　head。
　〃Not　so；　rade　Windsor；　but　about　as　much　otherwise　as　you　can　jolly　well　imagine。〃
　〃Well；　what　then？〃
　〃We　will　stay　here。　Or　rather　we　will　hop　nimbly　up　on　to　the　roof　through　that　skylight。　Once　there；　we　may　engage　these　varlets　on　fairly　equal　terms。　They　can　only　get　through　one　at　a　time。　And　while　they　are　doing　it　I　will　give　my　celebrated　imitation　of　Horatius。　We　had　better　be　moving。　Our　luggage；　fortunately；　is　small。　Merely　rade　Gooch。　If　you　will　get　through　the　skylight；　I　will　pass　him　up　to　you。〃
　Mr。　Gooch；　with　much　verbal　embroidery；　stated　that　he　would　not　go。　Psmith　acted　promptly。　Gripping　the　struggling　rent　collector　round　the　waist；　and　ignoring　his　frantic　kicks　as　mere　errors　in　taste；　he　lifted　him　to　the　trap…door；　whence　the　head；　shoulders　and　arms　of　Billy　Windsor　protruded　into　the　room。　Billy　collected　the　collector；　and　then　Psmith　turned　to　Pugsy。
　〃rade　Maloney。〃
　〃Huh？〃
　〃Have　I　your　ear？〃
　〃Huh？〃
　〃Are　you　listening　till　you　feel　that　your　ears　are　the　size　of　footballs？　Then　drink　this　in。　For　weeks　you　have　been　praying　for　a　chance　to　show　your　devotion　to　the　great　cause；　or　if　you　haven't；　you　ought　to　have　been。　That　chance　has　e。　You　alone　can　save　us。　In　a　sense；　of　course；　we　do　not　need　to　be　saved。　They　will　find　it　hard　to　get　at　us；　I　fancy；　on　the　roof。　But　it　ill　befits　the　dignity　of　the　editorial　staff　of　a　great　New　York　weekly　to　roost　like　pigeons　for　any　length　of　time；　and　consequently　it　is　up　to　you。〃
　〃Shall　I　go　for　de　cops；　Mr。　Smith？〃
　〃No；　rade　Maloney；　I　thank　you。　I　have　seen　the　cops　in　action；　and　they　did　not　impress　me。　We　do　not　want　allies　who　will　merely　shake　their　heads　at　rade　Repetto　and　the　others；　however　sternly。　We　want　some　one　who　will　swoop　down　upon　these　merry　roisterers；　and；　as　it　were；　soak　to　them　good。　Do　you　know　where　Dude　Dawson　lives？〃
　The　light　of　intelligence　began　to　shine　in　Master　Maloney's　face。　His　eye　glistened　with　respectful　approval。　This　was　strategy　of　the　right　sort。
　〃Dude　Dawson？　Nope。　But　I　can　ask　around。〃
　〃Do　so；　rade　Maloney。　And　when　found；　tell　him　that　his